Lonely Guys [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

MacVittie

08-07-2009, 04:27 PM

Today's discussion on lonely guys mad me very nervous. Nervous that I might be a lonely guy. In the past 5 years, I've had one girlfriend for 2 years and have been single a year, with no luck in the past year. I have started to feel some resentful feeling towards women, and that frightens me.

The resentment isn't so much at women as it is at girls. I'm in my mid 20s and in college, so most of the people I interact with are 21 or 22 at the most. I'm terrible at trying to talk to women who are that age, especially in the college party setting. Overall, I have a positive outlook about relationships in my life, but I have felt discouraged recently and I really don't want it to turn into a problem. I'm not of the mindset that "all women are the same," but it seems like a lot of college girls have no desire to be adventurous and individualistic, in fact, many strive for the opposite.

There are a lot of women that I do find engaging and interesting, and they tend to be friends and coworkers that are much older of girlfriends of friends. I can't quite seen to get involved with one myself, though. I think the best thing for me to do is spend time around these types of women and avoid my other lonely guy friends, who, from after listening to day's show, definitely fit the description.

I don't wanna be a lonely guy.

Gvac

08-07-2009, 04:43 PM

That was a pretty scary conversation the boys had on air today, and some of the callers were creepy.

I know a few "lonely guys" too. One buddy of mine is 45 and got fucked over so badly by his last chick that he says he's completely finished with women and relationships. He claims he has no desire for intimacy anymore because he finds women to be conniving and untrustworthy. He hasn't been with anyone in over 2 years.

Of course letting one or two bad experiences taint an entire gender is ludicrous, but most people have a way of looking at things emotionally, not logically.

As far as the lonely guys who NEVER get women, it's obviously a defect on their end. Yes, a defect. Sounds harsh, but it's true. I know guys who say "I'm shy; it's just who I am." That's like saying "My car doesn't run; it's just what it is."

Of course not. If your car doesn't run, you get it fixed.

If you're terrified of starting a conversation or making eye contact, FIX IT. There's something wrong there. It's not a personality trait, it's a problem.

instrument

08-07-2009, 04:50 PM

It sounds like you need more like minded friends.

boobieman

08-07-2009, 04:50 PM

Don't give up and don't put pressure on yourself. It will happen when it happens. As long as you are out meeting and greeting, and not just sitting at home waiting for a women to fall into your lap. Also stop thinking about relationship, just think for the here and now. Meet, date and see if something develops. Also don't do the friends first thing. No horny man can be friends with a women, especially a women he wants to sleep with.

The lonely guy in Pittsburgh had no friends, family or women. You have friends and family. You are meeting women.

And if it takes too long for you and you feel that you are not going to meet someone, go out and get yourself a nice sweet hooker. Get some stank on your hang low(I do one more cliche line I'm going to shoot myself). That what this Pittsburgh guy should of done. Go and get a whore. That's what I did back in my late teens early 20's. I had a hard time meeting women and was in long dry spells. I was frustrated. I then when out and found a good whore house and bam....I was one happy motherfucker. Actually I think one of the whores was a mother.
Don't let this be the begin all end all. OK that was another cliche line. I am an ass.

SEEYAYYAYAAAAAAAEESSEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

zildjian361

08-07-2009, 04:54 PM

get some swagger

sailor

08-07-2009, 05:07 PM

i respectfully disagree with gvac. some people are outgoing and aggressive, some simply are not and never will be. to call it a defect is a bit unfair. you do the best with the tools you have, and you work to overcome it.

all the best.

Chigworthy

08-07-2009, 05:36 PM

http://www.nerve.com/CS/blogs/scanner/2008/04/23-End/293.cruise.magnolia.110707.jpg

Suspect Chin

08-07-2009, 06:16 PM

i respectfully disagree with gvac. some people are outgoing and aggressive, some simply are not and never will be. to call it a defect is a bit unfair. you do the best with the tools you have, and you work to overcome it.

all the best.

It is definitely a defect. For all of some men's faults socially, there are women who have similar problems. Be honest with yourself and find someone who is a good match for you. I guarantee women sit around and wonder the exact same things about why men won't talk to them.

Ever notice how when you have one chick on the line, many more women seem to be interested in you? Its all about confidence, not looks or money. You have a girl who likes you, so you have confidence, and other women are attracted to you.

Stop beating yourself up, get some prozac and enjoy life.

sailor

08-07-2009, 06:19 PM

It is definitely a defect. For all of some men's faults socially, there are women who have similar problems. Be honest with yourself and find someone who is a good match for you. I guarantee women sit around and wonder the exact same things about why men won't talk to them.

Ever notice how when you have one chick on the line, many more women seem to be interested in you? Its all about confidence, not looks or money. You have a girl who likes you, so you have confidence, and other women are attracted to you.

Stop beating yourself up, get some prozac and enjoy life.

i believe you're addressing me, but other than my being shy none of it matches up. thanks anyways.

and yeah, more drugs is just what we need, rather than embracing that not everyone is equal in everything.

Suspect Chin

08-07-2009, 06:21 PM

i believe you're addressing me, but other than my being shy none of it matches up. thanks anyways.

and yeah, more drugs is just what we need, rather than embracing that not everyone is equal in everything.

I was kidding about the prozac thing.

The key is that there are women for everyone. Don't you think the shy girls wonder why no men approach them?

sailor

08-07-2009, 06:23 PM

I was kidding about the prozac thing.

The key is that there are women for everyone. Don't you think the shy girls wonder why no men approach them?

cool. of course there's the same on both sides. i'm also not saying it's something you don't strive to overcome. if someone has a debilitating issue with going out in public, yeah that's a defect. my issue was just because someone doesn't have the most confidence talking to new people, it's just part of the sliding-scale of human personalities.

Suspect Chin

08-07-2009, 06:26 PM

cool. of course there's the same on both sides. i'm also not saying it's something you don't strive to overcome. if someone has a debilitating issue with going out in public, yeah that's a defect. my issue was just because someone doesn't have the most confidence talking to new people, it's just part of the sliding-scale of human personalities.

I agree that talking to women can be daunting, but so was hunting wooly mammoth in cro-mag days. But we have to eat. I hate when people say they want something so bad but are unable to jump the hurdle it takes to acquire it.

Shane Peterson

08-07-2009, 08:27 PM

Today's discussion on lonely guys mad me very nervous. Nervous that I might be a lonely guy. In the past 5 years, I've had one girlfriend for 2 years and have been single a year, with no luck in the past year. I have started to feel some resentful feeling towards women, and that frightens me.

One year single can't make you a lonely guy. Watch out for the resentment towards young people, you'll turn into blowhard before you know it.

A.J.

08-08-2009, 08:36 AM

I haven't dated anyone in almost 10 years and I've never been happier. That's just me though.

~Katja~

08-08-2009, 08:44 AM

well since you clearly enjoy the mindset of more mature women I would recommend just taking it easy and date here and there without the ultimate goal for a long term relationship in mind.
Just enjoy your twenties. You might run into a 20some year old that is mature and wise beyond her years, but you will never know if you hide from women in general.

zildjian361

08-08-2009, 08:50 AM

well since you clearly enjoy the mindset of more mature women I would recommend just taking it easy and date here and there without the ultimate goal for a long term relationship in mind.
Just enjoy your twenties. You might run into a 20some year old that is mature and wise beyond her years, but you will never know if you hide from women in general.

if you cant get laid in you 20's you'll never get laid get a hooker:sad:

ShowerBench

08-08-2009, 12:14 PM

Why are you looking for "a relationship" in your mid-20's?

You're right. College-aged females are silly. They're not ready for a "relationship" either. They are little girls whose favorite thing to do is dress up, take pictures of themselves and their friends and put them on Facebook. Is that wrong? No. It's the same thing little girls do with dolls, and college girls are just overgrown little girls.

Same goes for most males your age. Their favorite thing to do is drink beer and play video games. Just like little boys, who like to spin around until they're dizzy, and play video games. College-aged males are overgrown little boys.

So if you date girls that age, don't resent that they play games or the fact that you can't figure them out. You're not going to be able to because they don't know what they're doing any more than you know what they're doing.

The problem with "lonely guys" is that their expectations don't match reality and it frustrates them. They get mad at college girls because college girls don't act like adult humans. Sometimes they get frustrated because females are attracted to success, but every time you resent that consider whether you'd date a woman who is less than a "5."

People are hard-wired in certain "shallow" ways but if you already expect that then you know as a 5 on the success scale, you should set your sights on a 5 on the looks scale. If you have some easy confidence you can even do better because that can replace success in the same way an objectively homely woman can have sex appeal.

But resenting women for being women automatically tells you that you don't have confidence and if you're that guy that's what you need to work on.

MacVittie

08-08-2009, 12:27 PM

But resenting women for being women automatically tells you that you don't have confidence and if you're that guy that's what you need to work on.

Yeah that totally true. The problem is that resentment towards women can easily be fueled by other guys. There are too many times that I can think back to occasions where my friends and I were sitting around complaining about women like a bunch of Tommy Z's. It's an easy trap to fall in to, especially if you get rejected by a woman.

zildjian361

08-08-2009, 01:18 PM

go get laid you fuckin cree:laugh:p or let one of your friinds suck you off:wallbash:

sailor

08-08-2009, 02:36 PM

go get laid you fuckin cree:laugh:p or let one of your friinds suck you off:wallbash:

not quite the forum for that.

lleeder

08-08-2009, 02:56 PM

so young girls are too stupid to date or to approach? this thread is full of sweeping generalizations. bottom line talk to people. if you fail you'll be exactly in the same place you are now. no worse.

MacVittie

08-08-2009, 03:09 PM

so young girls are too stupid to date or to approach? this thread is full of sweeping generalizations. bottom line talk to people. if you fail you'll be exactly in the same place you are now. no worse.

yeah I never have a problem with approaching women. and I don't think that college girls are stupid, just on a different wavelength than I. I picked a college that was great for my major, but bad for my social life. Pledging fraternities and beer pong just aren't my thing.

sr71blackbird

08-09-2009, 04:37 AM

That guy that shot up that health club was a lonely guy, and this guy :LINK (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090808/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_repeat_lottery_winner): just won the lottery twice in one year. One winning was 70,000 and this one was 900,000, yet he cant find a woman.

In either case, I see nothing wrong with how these guys looked and wonder what else could have prevented them from meeting a woman. It is really not that hard to meet a woman. I imagine these lonely guys have another aspect of their personality that turns women off somehow. Yet, I am always baffled by seeing hot girls with disgusting looking guys. A MILF in my office has pictures of her family on her desk and her husband looks like a fat troll. Something attracts her to him. So guys, if you are lonely, look inside you instead of outside you.

Kublakhan61

08-09-2009, 05:28 AM

so young girls are too stupid to date or to approach? this thread is full of sweeping generalizations. bottom line talk to people. if you fail you'll be exactly in the same place you are now. no worse.

Young girls CAN be too stupid to date. In undergrad I dated a girl who was about 3 years younger then I, putting her at 19 ... way too many games, simply immature stuff. She also wouldn't accept being dumped?! She came out to my house on a break unexpectedly and called me from a train station asking me to come get her. I didn't. The break-up took that time.

Russel P

08-09-2009, 05:59 AM

Mac V, if you are going to college parties, always go for the girls who are wearing a fun hat. They are usually the closest thing to a sure bet.

Also, you HAVE to go out of your way and talk to people. I went through a "lonely guy" period for over a year after a nasty break up. I stayed home too much, didn't approach girls, and got out of shape. Perfect recipe for singleness. I never even made a conscious decision to start dating again, it just happened with developing better habits. Got myself in the gym, got involved in more activities, made some new friends, and my stock went up 1000%. Having a busy and full life seems to create romantic interests out of nowhere. It always helps to have female friends, too. When you meet a girl and you are already with girls, it at least shows that you are safe around the opposite sex.

There's a social stock market with people you meet. I'm sure you've met some nice folks whose friends were scumbags, and that hurt their stock. Or a pretty girl who was just all bad vibe once she opened her mouth. Try to honestly assess your own stock, think about what is positive and what might raise it. Get active, and get some dates! Life is short, but your twenties fuckin' FLY by, bro. I sincerely wish ya the best.

Gvac

08-09-2009, 06:05 AM

Foster

08-09-2009, 06:10 AM

Gvac

08-09-2009, 06:23 AM

hey thats my bit!!

What can I say? We're both children of the 70's.

Foster

08-09-2009, 06:27 AM

What can I say? We're both children of the 70's.

lets make this clear, we were children in the 70s

zildjian361

08-09-2009, 07:23 AM

not quite the forum for that.

True i just want him to enjoy dating as a 20 yr old:lol:

JackieJokeMan

08-12-2009, 07:34 PM

Can someone post the audio?

Thanks.

biggirl

08-12-2009, 07:47 PM

don't get a hooker. I would think that is creepy if I met a guy and found out he got a hooker.

You'll find someone and maybe you need to date someone that is more your age or a little older. The girls that I know that are 26 and younger are really stupid and I can't stand being around them, and I am a girl. Ugh.

There are good women out there...really...don't give up on us. Although, I have to admit I have never met a woman that isn't bitchy at some point in her life.

Suspect Chin

08-12-2009, 08:04 PM

don't get a hooker. I would think that is creepy if I met a guy and found out he got a hooker.

Trust me, you'd never find out.

boosterp

08-12-2009, 10:12 PM

lets make this clear, we were children in the 70s

Ass! Now you and G were born only a few years before me, but damn the 70s were sweet minus the cold war scare.

Drunky McBetidont

08-12-2009, 10:15 PM

Ass! Now you and G were born only a few years before me, but damn the 70s were sweet minus the cold war scare.

http://www.coldwarpeacemuseum.org/images/duck-n-cover-280.jpg

Mr.Misery

08-17-2009, 01:31 AM

I'm only 26 and basically a shut-in. It's like this: some of us are born a good hand in life, some aren't; to those who aren't, it's up to you to compensate and make things better for yourself, and that happens, but not for me. So, if you want to call it a defect, I guess that fits; I don't really see it as any different than being born a cripple, or blind; an extreme comparison, I know, but the point is, you are who you are. Some of you have gone through short periods of being lonely--that's normal; but some go through their entire lives lonely and unable to connect with others on a 'normal' level--that approaches a pathology. Just the way it is. There are more pathologically 'lonely' guys (and girls) out there than you might think; you just may not be as aware, since they tend to stay 'hidden', as is their nature.

But don't make the mistake of thinking all people like this are going to go crazy and shoot up a gym, or a school. That's another discussion completely.

...lee von helm...

NateCantDance

08-17-2009, 08:50 AM

I'm only 26 and basically a shut-in. It's like this: some of us are born a good hand in life, some aren't; to those who aren't, it's up to you to compensate and make things better for yourself, and that happens, but not for me. So, if you want to call it a defect, I guess that fits; I don't really see it as any different than being born a cripple, or blind; an extreme comparison, I know, but the point is, you are who you are.

It's different in that you can change it, you just choose not to. I don't understand the rationale behind the "I'm miserable and wish my life were different, but it's just who I am." line of thinking.

jimmyolsenblues

08-28-2009, 06:13 AM

even though i have a girlfriend.
my parents are dead.
my best friends don't live close.
i would absolutely say i fit the profile for a lonely guy.

fezident

08-29-2009, 03:41 AM

Loners get boners.