You must set the ad_network_ads.txt file to be writable (check file name as well).
I scared myself in a near fight situation tonight [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

PDA

View Full Version : I scared myself in a near fight situation tonight


Doogie
08-22-2009, 11:47 PM
Ok, tonight I was at a wetdown (christening for a new truck) for a volunteer fire department I am part of. I am also trying my damndest to stay sober anymore, mainly cause I want to lose weight and get back into a new exercise routine (and also doesn't help when someone you haven't seen in 8 years says "man you got fat..."), but the reason why I mention it is to understand that I was stone sober this entire event. And no, this is not the firehouse where I pissed in the Jack Daniels bottle (for that story feel free to go here (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=70015))

Near the end of the night I was gearing up to go home and went out towards the front of the firehouse, and there were all sorts of people hanging out, including one ball buster who likes to dish out jokes. I was going to leave, but I was enjoying watching all these drunk people deciding who was driving, who was walking home, people chasing people in cars who had started walking home 11 miles, etc. I described it best by saying to someone there "this is like watching a bad movie, and I have to see how it ends. I went this far, I need to see the ending."

Anyways, the aforementioned ballbuster's truck was written on the windows in some kind of dry erase marker that easily could have of been wiped out. The guy, who was totally drunk, was going to go home and saw the writing which said things like "I like penis" and other things on the windows in this dry-erase stuff. Well the dude flips out, starts storming around the place asking everyone who did it or who knew who did it. Real nasty like too...he has the reputation of being one of these drunks who starts picking fights when drunk.

Well myself and a few others who was watching all this shit go down were just commenting on all the people that just shouldn't drink. He gets to me and ask me like 20 times if I know who did it, or if I did it. I say I don't know which is the truth but still getting interrogated. Now after the 20th time being asked, and him just being annoying I decide to try to bring some levity to the situation and make a joke to perhaps make the guy laugh. I say "Milo Yambags did it." He asks who is that. And I reply he is "Kin to Kaiser Sousee..."

Well he doesnt like this answer and proceeds to turn into Mr. Tough Guy saying things like "I dont know who I am fucking with...blah blah blah." And I am trying now just be like "Ok fella I see you dont like a joke. I'm only breaking chops." And even the people next to him were laughing cause they knew I was joking. Well this enrages him even more, and now he is in my face repeating more of his tough guy shit, and finally he is trying to bump chests with me and I tell him a MINIMUM of 9-10 times to "Please get out of my face." As I ask him not to get in my face, now he goes nose to nose, literally making conact with my nose.

I really don't like confrontations cause I wont lie, I have a horrendous temper once I get going. I will fight start throwing punches and even bite noses after I throw punches. And I am trying to remember all sorts of "Zen" thinking and even military stuff to not lose my shit. But the constant beratement by this guy, on top of his physical contact was just too much for me. I ask him one more time to please get out of my face or I will have to defend myself. The guy wont stop, and no one is stepping in. Well I lost it. I shoved the guy to punching distance and get myself into fighting stance, a perfect stance so that I have balance and can size up where I am going to hit. Will I go for a face shot?? Or simply a kick to midsection if it is opened?? I am trying to access the situation and ready to throw my blow when finally people step between us.

I am not going to lie, I was now full of adrenaline. I now wanted the fight. I wanted to throw and I wanted to make him bleed, and hurt and I wanted his children in the morning to see the ravishing I wanted to unleash on him. I wanted to make this man suffer and bleed and make him feel the wrath and anger I had pented up in me from a lot of shit that has been going on in my life. I wanted to hurt him bad. Near the precipice of death, that is how bad I wanted to hurt him. That is how angry I was. Yet I was clam in preparing to fight. I just wanted to make this guy bleed, and I knew, I KNEW I could beat him. And wanted to. When he had 3 people around him he decided to do the "charging" thing of "Ohhh yeah I thought so." As if I was lucky and I tried to clear these people out and just waved my fingers in a "cmon" gesture. I was just so filled with rage, anger and hatred in that moment. I was completely and utterly numb as well.

When people heard what happened they were like "he gets like that, what an ass." And some guys that know him well say "look he isn't bad till get gets real drunk." There was even one guy who didnt see what went down, is a friend of his say to me "You shouldnt provoke him with jokes when he is so drunk." How the fuck am I supposed to know he is the bad drunk?? The main consensus from a lot of people that faced this guy's drunken escapades or were witness to it came to me and were saying "Good for you for sticking up to that ass. He needs a good beating." "Dude, I have to give you props for ready throw down on him" But to be honest, I didn't feel good about it once I started calming as all these things were being said to me.

After they were able to separate everyone, I was able to get myself calmed. A friend of mine was like "what an asshole." And I think that was the moment I just started truly to have the blood pressure come down and I thought of how I was just there. And I hated it. I hated the fact that I lost control like that. I hated the fact that I let some little peon get me so fired up that I was prepared to face assault charges, and just didn't care. When I was in that rage mode, I was also thinking how long before the ambulance got there and I could go to my car to get a bat to finish him off and I hated that I had that thought. I haven't lost control like that in a very long time. And the worst part if that I am stone sober too...Here I am ready to start Grad School soon, starting a new career, getting my life up and in order again, and I allowed a stupid little peon make me almost lose it all. Over some stupid shit.

I hate the fact that I lost control like that. I hate that I allowed all my rage and anger to be channeled like that then and there. I hate the fact that I am normally good in a situation like that and able to simply walk away. But I didn't want too...I guess I wanted to channel all that anger and rage. I wanted to be a little boy again. Ugggghhhh...

Now by this point of him tromping and stomping around like an ass, people went up and simply wiped down his windows, and trying to get him the fuck out of there. Why they didn't just drive him home?? I don't know...there was a lot of shit I saw tonight that made me question the whole volunteer system in general. Something I have been questioning for a while. Maybe that is why I lost it...I see a part of an old life I am trying to continue to perpetuate, yet I don't have a passion for it.

I am just doing what needs to be done, yet I just don't want to do it anymore. But I don't want to be a "quitter" either. But for me, it just doesn't have the same "oomph" and gusto it used to give me. I think that is why I got so pissed...I volunteer at this place, helped to clean up at the end of the night, cause I was sober (and I am not judging anyone who was drunk) and felt like I was doing something good or some part to help. I was mixing and mingling most of the night before that, even playing some horseshoes and playing on the piano right before all this shit went down. I guess I was pissed that I literally didnt have anything to do with this guys truck and he is interrogating me (and everyone else to be fair) and I just didn't like it. I was there to have fun, to help out, and just get out of the house after doing a massive project at my house all day and just wanted to unwind. I am just rambling here and am going to end this long diatribe.

TooLowBrow
08-23-2009, 12:00 AM
you shoulda kicked his ass anyway

Doogie
08-23-2009, 12:05 AM
you shoulda kicked his ass anyway

I honestly have to say I feel guilty about losing my cool...I hated the fact that people saw me lose it too. I am new in this place and don't want the reputation of "psycho guy." I am an adult now, and we should be using our brains to break up problems, not fists. This isn't an attack by Huns, this was a drunk. And I hate that I lost my cool over that...

TooLowBrow
08-23-2009, 12:07 AM
I honestly have to say I feel guilty about losing my cool...I hated the fact that people saw me lose it too. I am new in this place and don't want the reputation of "psycho guy." I am an adult now, and we should be using our brains to break up problems, not fists. This isn't an attack by Huns, this was a drunk. And I hate that I lost my cool over that...

are you still pacing over it?

id still feel the hate so strongly.

its tough to let go of

Doogie
08-23-2009, 12:11 AM
are you still pacing over it?

id still feel the hate so strongly.

its tough to let go of

I'm calm now...my body was trembling like 5 minutes after I calmed, I was that amped. Felt good for the rush. I wont lie about that...I was ready to go for a three mile run then and there.

Ritalin
08-23-2009, 03:54 AM
I don't think that you did lose control. When someone gets in your face - I mean really in your face, bumping and shouting - the physical response is to ramp up, get the adrenaline flowing. But you didn't kick the guy's ass.

DarkHippie
08-23-2009, 05:21 AM
I don't think that you did lose control. When someone gets in your face - I mean really in your face, bumping and shouting - the physical response is to ramp up, get the adrenaline flowing. But you didn't kick the guy's ass.

if not sure, but if you fought him, i don't think it would've been assault, since he bumped and you could argue that an attack was immenent.

KatPw
08-23-2009, 06:10 AM
Don't beat yourself up over this Doogie. You did the right thing. And the friends of this asswipe and defend and excuse is behavior are just as asswipey as the asswipe.
Are there any dry Fire houses in your area? I know they are few and far between, but there are some. Also, maybe talk to this guy when he is sober and confront him on his inexcusable behavior. Talk to your Fire Chief and let him know that this type of behavior is effecting the unit. How can you go into a fire and hope your brothers have your back when you have a loose-cannon member like this?
And what if there was a major call that night and he (and the other drunk people) went to the fire like that? When behavior like this comes to the attention of the citizens there is usually a major backlash that effects the whole department.

Doogie
08-23-2009, 07:17 AM
Thanks for comments kat. When we have parties like this, we have other departments on standby for us. I am not ready to join a "dry firehouse" and to be honest that is not the problem. The sad part is that was 1 of probably 50 of the asshole parade going on that night. I just got wrapped up in it for saying something to bring some levity to a guy making a big deal out of something that should not of.

Funny thing too is that less than an hour before, he got screamed at by some girl for asking her something crude. The woman is one of the firefighters and I dont know what he said, but she was pissed and screamed at him and stormed out of the room. Apparently from what I heard had something to do with her being on her knees or what underwear she was wearing. I dont know. I didnt hear and I dont listen to rumors.

Like I said my role for most part all night long was saying hi to people I knew. Hanging out, having a laugh or two, palying some horseshoes and then before I left playing around on their piano in bar before all this stuff went down. AKA minding my own business. I also have to be honest and say that in all my problems in my old firehouse, we never had problems like this with so many assholes being so drunk and retarded. Sure we were silly goofy and made jokes and did some silly stuff. But never anything like this.

It also stinks that it has been a weird transition for me to go to this place. We had drama in my old place and myself and more than a dozen others left there like refugees looking for a new home. I have not felt 100% comfortable to be honest. I feel like there is derision towards myself and my "boat guys" at times. Yet there are other times when many, many of the officers and vets make us feel at home. Might be my paranoia at times, might also be that I am maturing in my personal tastes and just dont feel the bug to want to be a volunteer firefighter anymore. My interests and passions lead me to different places now. And I have been debating whether it is time to move on with my life.

When we all left the other firehouse a year and a half a ago, one of the guys that left and joined no place was my brother. He was slated to become the next chief in 2010. He left cause a guy got elected that had no business being elected (him and about 5 other line officers left the place too, they refused to serve under this guy), and he hasn't gone anywhere either. He is moving on with his life. He got married, buying a new house and so forth. I often ask myself if I rejoined someplace too soon. That maybe I should have of followed his example. My bro had 22 years of service in...and hasnt looked back since. The guy who lost the chief slot in the old place even told me that the whole service has changed and understands my feelings when I told him how I felt with the aforementioned feelings I have.

After last night, I am giving it serious consideration to walk away right now. I dont care if people want to wag their stupid tongues and be like "Ohhh the fight chased him away." The fight I believe is the straw that broke the perverbial back for me to move on. I just need to muster up the courage to do so, and not berate myself for being a "quitter." I also dont like that I was able to get that way last night...I dont want that to be my MO with people. I am still a little wound up today, and upset. I just dont like that I was in that situation last night. And like I said that was 1 of 50 other whacky things going on at same time that is making me reconsider my decision to stay there.

A.J.
08-23-2009, 08:22 AM
Note to self: be very nice to Doogie at the next event.

I think you handled the situation as best as you could. Don't beat yourself up about it.

TripleSkeet
08-23-2009, 09:25 AM
You shouldve just beat him up as soon as he got in your face. The bad part of this story is, nothing happened to him, and in his head the people that broke it up saved you. Its just going to encourage him to do it again. There was no lesson learned.

I love the jerk offs that tell you you shouldnt provoke him by joking around when hes drunk. Ive had a few situations like that occur with my friends (one just last week) where I had to stand up and basically put it out there that "Nobody is above getting their balls broken by me". And thats it. If a fight happens, so be it.

Dont beat yourself up. The only mistake you made was not kicking the shit out of that guy.

KatPw
08-23-2009, 09:34 AM
Dont beat yourself up. The only mistake you made was not kicking the shit out of that guy.

That is all fine and good, but we live in a very litigious society. Men don't take the ass kickings that are coming to them and chalk it up to a lesson learned any more. They sue. And seeing as how it all went down on the asswipe's home turf (He was a member of the firehouse before Doogie joined) so there would have been a lot of sympathy on the side of the asswipe's. They would spin it as the sober guy beating up the drunk guy, which is akin to beating on a woman or a little kid in some people's eyes especially when it's their buddy that is the drunk guy.

Dougie Brootal
08-23-2009, 09:34 AM
how did you scare yourself? you didnt even do anything?

TripleSkeet
08-23-2009, 09:37 AM
That is all fine and good, but we live in a very litigious society. Men don't take the ass kickings that are coming to them and chalk it up to a lesson learned any more. They sue. And seeing as how it all went down on the asswipe's home turf (He was a member of the firehouse before Doogie joined) so there would have been a lot of sympathy on the side of the asswipe's. They would spin it as the sober guy beating up the drunk guy, which is akin to beating on a woman or a little kid in some people's eyes especially when it's their buddy that is the drunk guy.

Considering there were people there that were witnesses and thought the guy was an asshole, he wouldve been fine.

First of all, bullies dont like to call the cops when they get beat up because they dont want anyone to know. Secondly the fact he walked up to Doogie chest to chest while yelling, that would be considered a threat of violence and anything Doogie did after that would be considered self defense. Thirdly, drunk fights usually dont get to court.

Trust me. Ive been there.

Doogie
08-23-2009, 11:21 AM
That is all fine and good, but we live in a very litigious society. Men don't take the ass kickings that are coming to them and chalk it up to a lesson learned any more. They sue. And seeing as how it all went down on the asswipe's home turf (He was a member of the firehouse before Doogie joined) so there would have been a lot of sympathy on the side of the asswipe's. They would spin it as the sober guy beating up the drunk guy, which is akin to beating on a woman or a little kid in some people's eyes especially when it's their buddy that is the drunk guy.

Well I thought the same thing too...and that was going through my head as well. I am technically the new guy and dont want to be getting into a fight less than a year here. BUT...today I chatted with one of the uppitty ups who have say over who can stay and go, to make a long story short. This uppity up, told me the guy who started with me last nighthas a history of starting with people and I was right for doing what I did, AND the board would have of supported what I did. They know this guy is an ass and has a longggggg history of his drunken tirades, including smashing up a bathroom. Sure he has some guys sympathetic to him, but I actually have a lot more.

I know it sounds weird, but it comes down to the fact that my father is an honorary member of the place, and he is hghly respected in the volunteer fire community in my county cause of the work he did getting the county modernized and utilizing a current incident command system. He basically wrote the specs for it that every dept around the county and the rest of the state as well....So these guys have a lot more sympathy to what happened to me than to him. Not saying I can get away with murdr, but they even knew me when I was a kid and as a teen young adult with the othr dept and we had joint events. They know how I am and I am gregarious, congenial, and just all around good fun.

Why I got scared Doug is the fact that I lost my cool like that. I dont do that. Anyone who knows me, whether it be at events for this board or in my life knows I dont lose my cool. I keep it under pressure and the fact that I unleashed it all then and there bothered me. I my vent a bit and unlesh things here on the board and on a few people, but when it comes to face to face, I belive in being civil. No matter the situation.

SP1!
08-23-2009, 05:35 PM
Just deck him the next time you see him, then deny you did it.

If hes talks all the shit you say he wont sue since people would give him shit forever for it, besides as a man you tell the guy twice to get away, if he doesnt listen he gets a trip to the ground.

CofyCrakCocaine
08-23-2009, 06:18 PM
Just deck him the next time you see him, then deny you did it.

If hes talks all the shit you say he wont sue since people would give him shit forever for it, besides as a man you tell the guy twice to get away, if he doesnt listen he gets a trip to the ground.

Nah.

SP1!
08-24-2009, 07:00 PM
Nah.

Fine then keep being a pussy

topless_mike
08-25-2009, 04:49 AM
skunks raise their tails as a warning sign to back the fuck up. its the same as your fighting stance. its a visual warning to others. you didnt lose your cool. by the story, im am surprised you lasted as long as you did. i may have amped up much sooner, personally.

you also said that you are trying to stay sober. looking at the meatheads, its just another reason for you to keep in your mind to avoid the booze.

ps- a russian leg sweep would have landed him on his bum.

TripleSkeet
08-25-2009, 08:19 AM
Did you pull the crane on him?

Aggie
08-25-2009, 08:34 AM
It's great that you stopped yourself from fighting because that can sometimes end badly. But if you ever get in that situation again and he's provoking you, just punch him in the throat. That'll shut him up.

TripleSkeet
08-25-2009, 08:46 AM
It's great that you stopped yourself from fighting because that can sometimes end badly. But if you ever get in that situation again and he's provoking you, just punch him in the throat. That'll shut him up.

I like the cut of your jib.

Aggie
08-25-2009, 08:55 AM
I like the cut of your jib.

It's my favorite thing to see in a fight. No one ever sees it coming.

topless_mike
08-25-2009, 09:26 AM
It's great that you stopped yourself from fighting because that can sometimes end badly. But if you ever get in that situation again and he's provoking you, just punch him in the throat. That'll shut him up.

cant breathe? cant fight

the ultimate attitude adjuster.

Chigworthy
08-25-2009, 08:02 PM
You were in the "black" zone, which is dangerous as you can't make decisions properly and you have tunnel vision. Learn from your mistakes and each time it happens you gain more control to maintain an "orange" level of performance, which is a controlled focus of your fight and flight biomechanisms. In the "orange" zone, you would have tried diffusing the situation and walked away, having the last laugh.

Justice4all
08-25-2009, 11:33 PM
Lost control?
Denis....this here: "Well myself and a few others who was watching all this shit go down were just commenting on all the people that just shouldn't drink. He gets to me and ask me like 20 times if I know who did it, or if I did it. I say I don't know which is the truth but still getting interrogated. Now after the 20th time being asked, and him just being annoying I decide to try to bring some levity to the situation and make a joke to perhaps make the guy laugh. I say "Milo Yambags did it." He asks who is that. And I reply he is "Kin to Kaiser Sousee..."
Well he doesnt like this answer and proceeds to turn into Mr. Tough Guy saying things like "I dont know who I am fucking with...blah blah blah." And I am trying now just be like "Ok fella I see you dont like a joke. I'm only breaking chops." And even the people next to him were laughing cause they knew I was joking. Well this enrages him even more, and now he is in my face repeating more of his tough guy shit, and finally he is trying to bump chests with me and I tell him a MINIMUM of 9-10 times to "Please get out of my face." As I ask him not to get in my face, now he goes nose to nose, literally making conact with my nose. "....shows anything BUT a loss of control. You gave the guy an adiquate amount of time to try to back off, and if his friends were there THEY should have tried to get him to calm down. if they don't...well then they sit back and watch his ass get kicked. for that guy to tell you "you shouldn't provoke him" is an asshole. HE should step up and keep his friend from getting into trouble. The next time you see him...ask him how Milo Yambags is doing.

You did it perfectly...except I would have throat grabbed him and decked him after the 4th or 5th time he got in my face. So I will give you alot of credit for being that calm. Seriously.
Don't look too deep into something that, as far as the concensus says, you did perfectly fine in. Why beat yourself up over something you did RIGHT?