GVAC's Grampaw

[GregoryJoseph]

Doctor,

My 96 year old grandfather is miserable. He's been lonely since my grandmother passed away 7 years ago. They were married for 63 years at the time, and he's never been the same since.

He claims that every day he wakes up he curses God for not taking him in his sleep. He says he just wants to die.

I don't believe him.

Even though he is physically healthy, I think that when you reach such an advanced age you can pretty much choose when you no longer want to wake up. There must be something that keeps him fighting and hanging on.

Does science and medicine refute my theory or back it up?

Thank you for your thoughtful consideration, your time, and your expertise,

GregoryJoseph

[Dr Steve]

Doctor,

My 96 year old grandfather is miserable. He's been lonely since my grandmother passed away 7 years ago. They were married for 63 years at the time, and he's never been the same since.

He claims that every day he wakes up he curses God for not taking him in his sleep. He says he just wants to die.

I don't believe him.

Even though he is physically healthy, I think that when you reach such an advanced age you can pretty much choose when you no longer want to wake up. There must be something that keeps him fighting and hanging on.

Does science and medicine refute my theory or back it up?

Thank you for your thoughtful consideration, your time, and your expertise,

GregoryJoseph

GJ:

I do believe that we have some measure of control over the timing of our demise. You can choose to kill yourself, for example. On a more metaphysical level, I have seen people who were terminally ill hang on until some family member from out of town showed up and then die soon thereafter.

On the other hand, try to hold your breath until you die. Try it. Seriously, try it right now. You can't do it. Likewise, you can't drown yourself (without cement overshoes). The "will" to live is simply an imperative. It's not so easy to just lay down and die whenever you want to.

Your grandfather sounds depressed. Rather than argue with him over whether he really wants to die, it might be more beneficial to get him to say these things to his primary care provider or to a psychiatrist. Either of them could help him with his depressed mood and anhedonia (lack of pleasure in living), probably by putting him on an antidepressant.

Your Grandfather at 96 will leave this world soon enough, but on a time schedule that is out of your hands or mine. In the meantime, it'd be nice for him not to suffer existentially while he's waiting for the bliss that oblivion will bring.


your pal,



steve

[GregoryJoseph]

I'm not arguing with him or wishing death on him, and he is on a light dosage of Paxil (10mg. daily) but he consistently claims he has had enough of this world and wants to move on to the next.

I simply don't believe him because he's so spry and energetic, even though he's constantly bemoaning the fact that he's still with us.

But thank you for your answer. I only hope that if I'm as fortunate as my grandfather and live that long I'll find things to be grateful for and not claim to be begging for death.

[Kevin]

I'm not arguing with him or wishing death on him, and he is on a light dosage of Paxil (10mg. daily) but he consistently claims he has had enough of this world and wants to move on to the next.

I simply don't believe him because he's so spry and energetic, even though he's constantly bemoaning the fact that he's still with us.

But thank you for your answer. I only hope that if I'm as fortunate as my grandfather and live that long I'll find things to be grateful for and not claim to be begging for death.

He proably just wants attention..

Not saying it in a bad way.

He just feels by saying that, he will get attention and be relavent...

[Dr Steve]

I only hope that if I'm as fortunate as my grandfather and live that long I'll find things to be grateful for and not claim to be begging for death.

yeah, it does seem to be a waste of valuable time. life's short enough as it is. maybe his light dose of paxil needs to be ramped up to a heavy dose. :smile:

[RhinoinMN]

I'm not arguing with him or wishing death on him, and he is on a light dosage of Paxil (10mg. daily) but he consistently claims he has had enough of this world and wants to move on to the next.

I simply don't believe him because he's so spry and energetic, even though he's constantly bemoaning the fact that he's still with us.

But thank you for your answer. I only hope that if I'm as fortunate as my grandfather and live that long I'll find things to be grateful for and not claim to be begging for death.

Your gramps sounds exactly like mine. Call me if you need a sounding board.

[tanless1]

perhaps you should invest in an escort, maybe some heavy petting would cheer him up, a little pillow talk ? may turn him around, may give him a heart attack.... either way, he wins.