18 things to teach your sons about women

[nate1000]

From CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/09/23/tf.teach.sons.about.women/index.html


1. Pick your battles.
2. Walk on the outside (closer to the street) of your female companion.
3. Saying "You're being crazy" is never an appropriate response, unless you want her to go postal on you.
4. Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of kids are things men can actually do as well as women.
5. Keep backup supplies of quality chocolate in the house for her to raid.
6. Buying tampons and other feminine products shouldn't embarrass you --everyone knows they're not for you.
7. Women like compliments and gifts.
8. Earning less than her shouldn't be emasculating.
9. Be on time, even if she usually isn't.
10. Don't be a pouty puppy when shopping with her.
11. Find out what her favorite flower is.
12. If you like her, then don't buy her shoes; it's bad luck.
13. Smiling and nodding aren't the same as listening.
14. It's OK to cry in front of her, but keep the blubbering to a minimum.
15. Personality goes a long way.
16. At some point she'll be more important than your mother.
17. You will never completely understand women.
18. Oh yeah, and no woman will ever be good enough for my baby!


Does this sound like a bunch of bitching and whining to you, too? As I read this all I heard in my head was the obnoxious clucking of a chicken. Bawk-Bawk-Bawk-Bawk-Bawk.

[~Katja~]

correct the title to 18 things things to teach your gay son about women

[Furtherman]

Most of those are common sense.

But I've never, ever heard of a guy buying shoes for his women. I didn't even think guys were allowed in the women's shoe section.

[Marc with a c]

19. calling her a cunt is often a deal breaker.

[Aggie]

Jemaine : What happened there, did I do something wrong?
Bret : I don't know, I couldn't really see.
Jemaine : I did all my moves, I walked on the outside of her, I bought her a kebab, I .. paid for half the taxi- Should I have paid for the whole taxi? Should I have paid for the whole taxi?
Bret : ye..
Jemaine : Bret. Bret.
Bret : Did you ... Did you walk on the outside of her?
Jemaine : Yes.
Bret : I don't know then. I'm going to sleep.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

20. Pretend to laugh at her Jokes, women actually think they are funny (non .net girls)

[A.J.]

21. She's worthless after 30.

[JohnCharles]

22. A woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um... Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer.

[topless_mike]

23. its ok to make her sleep in the wet spot afterwards.

[red_red_red]

24
Don't parent from the internet

[JerseyRich]

25. Trim the bushes...It makes the tree look taller.

[west milly Tom]

19. calling her a cunt is often a deal breaker.


You find out the hard way too?

[lleeder]

19. calling her a cunt is often a deal breaker.

Fred Brooklyn disagrees.

[Marc with a c]

Fred Brooklyn disagrees.

"fred brooklyn" makes me laugh.

26. don't have letters in your internet name that rhyme with cum.

[lleeder]

20. Pretend to laugh at her Jokes, women actually think they are funny (non .net girls)

That one is the inverse in your relationship.

[Marc with a c]

You find out the hard way too?

yerp.

[~Katja~]

27. women will never trust you

[Marc with a c]

28. women edit fast.

[west milly Tom]

25 when hearing the response "go ahead its fine" realize what ever it is, proceeding with it will cause flames to shoot from her ears.

[JerseyRich]

29. If you think you're on a date with a chick, and she ends up making out with another dude...you're not on a date with her.

[lleeder]

29. If you think you're on a marriage with a chick, and she ends up making out with another dude...you're not on a marriage with her.

thats 29a.

[IMSlacker]

30. Women are too lazy to come up with lists of 20 things.

[JerseyRich]

thats 29a.

Atleast edit the whole thing!

[west milly Tom]

30 when hearing the phrase "nothing is wrong" assume everything is wrong.

[lleeder]

Atleast edit the whole thing!

me and my dad are lazy like that

[west milly Tom]

30. Women are too lazy to come up with lists of 20 things.

Not lazy, busy making me a sandwich.

[JerseyRich]

Not lazy, busy making me a sandwich.

32. When she's makin you a SANGWICH...make sure she brings you a beer as well.

[TripleSkeet]

This may be the dumbest list ever.

[topless_mike]

33. if she has a black eye, dont be afraid to tell her again.

[epo]

33. Take the bullet, its your fault.

[west milly Tom]

32. When she's makin you a SANGWICH...make sure she brings you a beer as well.


Nicely played beardo.

33 when telling her to grab you a beer throw in the phrase "shake a leg woman" so she knows that an important man can't be kept waiting.

[topless_mike]

36. No means Yes.

[epo]

35. Remind her that it could be worse; she could be dating Gvac.

[JerseyRich]

38. Never take her to a Cubs game. They blow.

[topless_mike]

39. stay out of sleeping bags.

[nate1000]

40.

http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Shocker-Poster-C12009849.jpeg

[KC2OSO]

[QUOTE=nate1000;2498785]40.
QUOTE]
:smile::lol:

[hammersavage]

19. Saying the phrase "hub bub" is often a deal breaker.

Agreed.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

42. Your Problem is your own problem, her problems are also your problems

[JohnCharles]

43. Her mother despises you. Learn to tolerate it.

[lleeder]

43. joking about the size of her vagina won't get you sex any sooner

[JerseyRich]

45. Eat it or Beat it.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

45. threatening not to have sex with her to win an argument usually end s up in her proving you wrong and giving you blue balls

[topless_mike]

43. joking about the size of her vagina won't get you sex any sooner

"gee you've got a big pussy gee you've got a big pussy
Why'd you say it twice? I didnt...."

great movie. gotta watch it again.

[west milly Tom]

42. Your Problem is your own problem, her problems are also your problems

Her money is her money, your money is also her money.

[JohnCharles]

Her money is her money, your money is also her money.

That even extends to scratch off tickets worth 100 bucks.

[sailor]

20. Pretend to laugh at her Jokes, women actually think they are funny (non .net girls)

ass kisser

[topless_mike]

46. Never ever ever ever invite somebody named Scot to your threeway.

[west milly Tom]

ass kisser



Watch the personal attacks you're supposed to set the example now.

[CountryBob]

Where is the list "18 things to teach your daughters about men"?

[JohnCharles]

47. "Tell me the truth about my outfit" means lie to me and say I don't look fat.

[sailor]

Watch the personal attacks you're supposed to set the example now.

ass kisser lover

[west milly Tom]

ass kisser lover



Easy, last warning.

[JerseyRich]

135. Keep the beer steins out of reach.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

ass kisser lover



damn right, I will see some of the .net women tomorrow.. although some people think its a turn on, getting kicked in the nuts is not fun

[earthbrown]

correct the title to 18 things things to teach your gay son about women

well said.

From CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/09/23/tf.teach.sons.about.women/index.html


1. Pick your battles.
2. Walk on the outside (closer to the street) of your female companion.
3. Saying "You're being crazy" is never an appropriate response, unless you want her to go postal on you.
4. Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of kids are things men can actually do as well as women.
5. Keep backup supplies of quality chocolate in the house for her to raid.
6. Buying tampons and other feminine products shouldn't embarrass you --everyone knows they're not for you.
7. Women like compliments and gifts.
8. Earning less than her shouldn't be emasculating.
9. Be on time, even if she usually isn't.
10. Don't be a pouty puppy when shopping with her.
11. Find out what her favorite flower is.
12. If you like her, then don't buy her shoes; it's bad luck.
13. Smiling and nodding aren't the same as listening.
14. It's OK to cry in front of her, but keep the blubbering to a minimum.
15. Personality goes a long way.
16. At some point she'll be more important than your mother.
17. You will never completely understand women.
18. Oh yeah, and no woman will ever be good enough for my baby!


Does this sound like a bunch of bitching and whining to you, too? As I read this all I heard in my head was the obnoxious clucking of a chicken. Bawk-Bawk-Bawk-Bawk-Bawk.


1. Pick your battles, but never admit guilt when you are not wrong, this sets a bad precedent and will make you bitter.

2. Who will support the kids if the man is hit?

3. If she is acting irrational, you need to point it out. Allowing a woman to act like a cunt for 10days every month is only going to lead to a life of misery.

4. No man can get the cleanliness of a woman. Cooking is cool for the man to do, and he should spend time with the kids. But I also think women are better equipped to deal with screaming children.

5. Keep chocolate??? WTF??? yeah, if you want a fat pig living with you.

6. Buying feminine products is something woman do to emasculate their men, they know that the 12th of every month the vag will start bleeding, so fucking be prepared.

7. Women get complements and gifts when deserving, or when you HONESTLY fuckup. Dont make a practice of this, as then they expect it.

8. Earning less is emasculating.

9. You should be punctual, but dont allow her to tell you when to be home, like a curfew.

10.. Dont go shopping with her. Woman love to shop for hours, WAY past the attention span for a man.

11. Who cares, she should appreciate any flower you get for her.

12. Again, why would a man buy shoes?

13. Smiling and nodding are all useless babble deserves sometimes.

14. Not ok to cry, unless you lose a parent, lose a child, or are watching ww2 documentary where old veterans are telling war stories. And men dont Blubber.

15. It does, I am overweight, ugly, yet have a hot girlfriend who appreciates my personality.

16. She is, your mother does not suck your cock.

17. Yes I will, they are simple creatures.

18. I dont even understand this.



This list is bullshit, it was made by some fag or a fat woman.


K

[Boogie in Va]

#239 - Inbreds

oh wait...........what list was this again?

[King Hippos Bandaid]

#239 - Inbreds




much funnier just saying inbreds


your weclome

[topless_mike]

48. Always take Hippo's Lox of the week, regardless of what anybody says.

[boosterp]

49. Don't admit you have a thing for girl on girl porn and jerk to it.

[boosterp]

50. Never share your hidden bookmarks with her.

[boosterp]

51. Never admit to how much you really drink.

[PD]

19. calling her a cunt is often a deal breaker.
unless you have a ustream podcast.

[Boogie in Va]

49. Don't admit you have a thing for girl on girl porn and jerk to it.

50. Never share your hidden bookmarks with her.

51. Never admit to how much you really drink.


That you ESD?????

[DarkHippie]

52. don't ever call her by her sister's name in bed