Badmouthed in different language

[sr71blackbird]

I was with my inlaws yesterday and walking with them on the beach and I was winded and hot. I was sweating and they were not. They all speak Portuguese and I began to sense that I was the subject of their yammering. I have picked up phrases and words here and there over the years and can get the gist of what's being said. But they were talking about me being in bad shape and fat and my sweating and puffing might mean I have cardiological implications etc. I walked on as if I didn't know, and my wife would glace at me, but did not defend me or tell them to stop. She has always been under their thumb. It bothered me, but I didn't show it because I take things like that as an education as to the true feelings of these people. They never really showed me respect and they think I am a moron and treat me like the alien I am to them. I let my wife know later on that I knew what they were saying and all, and she was a kind of defending them and I know she has a loyalty to them that is stronger than it is to me. That's another issue I have with her and what makes me want to end it with all of them.
I know I am fat and not in the best shape, and that is what bothers me. But I am also bothered inside by the realisation of her loyalty to her family over me, and to talk about me in front of me in a different langauge because you assume the other person can't understand it to me is a violation of trust.

Am I being overly sensitive?

[Farmer Dave]

Not at all. I don't think I could have kept quite. I'm sure I'd have gone bat shit on my wife, not phyically, but words would have been exchanged. You have every right to be hurt and pissed.

[Marc with a c]

everytime i read that you're married it surprises me.

[disneyspy]

gorduroso gorduroso dois através de quatro
fraturas fora em suor que caminha abaixo a costa

[newport king]

thats really tough. do these two speak english? or just portugese. because im always amazed at the audacity of people who can speak english and have no problem switching to another language so certain company won't understand. that's be like me and you just whispering in front of them. it's something that is incredibly rude and shouldnt be done.

as far as your wife, thats also tough. i agree she should at least defend you in this, at least tell them she doesnt appreciate them speaking that way when you can't understand them (that is if they can speak english)

[nate1000]

That's what you get for marrying a terrorist.

[RhinoinMN]

thats really tough. do these two speak english? or just portugese. because im always amazed at the audacity of people who can speak english and have no problem switching to another language so certain company won't understand. that's be like me and you just whispering in front of them. it's something that is incredibly rude and shouldnt be done.

as far as your wife, thats also tough. i agree she should at least defend you in this, at least tell them she doesnt appreciate them speaking that way when you can't understand them (that is if they can speak english)

I speak fluent Spanish and there are many times when people will say something rude about me or others in a store. I let them go on and eventually call them out on it in their own language. The looks on their faces is priceless.

[sr71blackbird]

I actually just called up at the house where my wife baby sits and I got her sister and told her off, that I didn't appreciate that they were talking about me and in front of me in a different language. She tried to defend herself saying that they were just concerned about my health and stuff, but I said, why not say it in English, why talk about about it in Portuguese? She said "what am I suppose to do, its my language" and I said, well, its rude and not helping me, if you are concerned with my health to say it in a language I do not understand. She then asked who told me what was said, my wife? And I said No, I figured it out! I'm noy an idiot and can understand enough to know. I had her put me on with my wife and I told her I don't appreciate this shit and to talk to them about this. We will see what happens. I bet nothing changes, except they will probably refrain from talking about me in my presence.

[Coach]

I always loved Going to Chinese restuarants with my dad. he would translate what the people working in the restaurant were saying about the patrons..Loved the reaction he got when he started talking to them.

[newport king]

well good for you. dont know how your wife will react, but at least you let them know and made it uncomfortable for them. so it shouuldn't happen again.

and obviously at least your sis in law speaks english, i'm floored that people dont see how rude that is to do.

[RhinoinMN]

I bet nothing changes, except they will probably refrain from talking about me in my presence.

That is all you can hope for. Everybody's in-laws talks about them behind their backs.


Good for you. They needed to know that you are not a schmuck.

[opie's twisted balls]

might I suggest.......

http://i36.tinypic.com/2n1w2ky.jpg & http://i35.tinypic.com/29glvmo.jpg

[IamFogHat]

I'm pretty sure the Korean ladies that run the ABC store I frequent the most steadily make fun of my alcoholism in Korean to each other. It's pretty much just like that Seinfeld episode.

[Fez4PrezN2008]

You and your wife should learn Japanese together and then talk about them in Japanese in front of them.

[epo]

Maybe you people deserve to be badmouthed in multiple languages?

[GregoryJoseph]

I would grab them both by the scruff of the neck and say in a loud voice "YOU SPEAK ENGLISH IN FRONT OF ME!!! I'M AN AMERICAN AND THEREFORE BETTER THAN YOU!"

Then I would say that the Portuguese are the N-words of Europe.

But that's just me.

[Bellyfullasnot]

So, uh......will this make Thanksgiving with the family more "fun"?

[yojimbo7248]

when I studied in Beijing I used to hang out with African guys. We would be on a packed bus and the Chinese would be saying disgusting stuff about the black guys, things that would make Anthony look like Al Sharpton in comparison. They had no clue that we all understood everything they said.

there was also a time recently in Chinatown when a guy was referring to my wife and me as "foreign devils" to his colleague. I never let on that I understood every word.

[Hottub]

My wife is a master of deception.
Blonde hair, green eyes, chisled features. Most people in the world don't know this is the norm for Argentina.

When they start talking shit in Spanish, thinking Gringo doesn't understand...

LOOK OUT!!!!:surrender:

[underdog]

My wife is a master of deception.
Blonde hair, green eyes, chisled features. Most people in the world don't know this is the norm for Argentina.

When they start talking shit in Spanish, thinking Gringo doesn't understand...

LOOK OUT!!!!:surrender:

My boss is the most irish looking person in the world. Red hair, freckles, pale skin. His mom is puerto rican so he speaks perfect Spanish. It always freaks out employees when they're talking to each other in spanish and he talks back to them. It's really funny.

[IamFogHat]

My wife is a master of deception.
Blonde hair, green eyes, chisled features. Most people in the world don't know this is the norm for Argentina.

When they start talking shit in Spanish, thinking Gringo doesn't understand...

LOOK OUT!!!!:surrender:

I dated a exactly girl like that! Tubby QFT!

[TripleSkeet]

It sounds like this is an ongoing thing with your in-laws. My advice?

Step 1. Learn how to say "fuck you" in portugese.

Step 2. The next time you know they are badmouthing you right in front of you and your wife turn to them and scream "fuck you" in portugese in their face.

Step 3. Turn to your wife and scream "and fuck you for not defending me" in english

Step 4. Walk away.

[Ritalin]

What if they're planning a surprise party for you and have become alarmed watching you walk that all of the people jumping out and yelling might kill you.

Could be.

[sailor]

His mom is puerto rican so he speaks perfect Spanish.

passable, maybe.

[~Katja~]

I would grab them both by the scruff of the neck and say in a loud voice "YOU SPEAK ENGLISH IN FRONT OF ME!!! I'M AN AMERICAN AND THEREFORE BETTER THAN YOU!"

Then I would say that the Portuguese are the N-words of Europe.

But that's just me.
you do realize that Brazilians speak Portuguese?


I am curious just how much you really understand, cause you might misunderstand a lot and just make assumptions on your on unhappiness with the current state of your body.
The reason I am saying it is cause I have been in your situation where inlaws and family members spoke tagalog and spanish and I caught bits and pieces but would have never claimed to comprehend an entire conversation.

My mom and sister were visiting me in 97 when I was an AuPair. I spoke in English to my friends on the phone and my mom walked by and thought she caught me talking about them cause we had some tension going on from the fact that the time in the US had already changed me as a person... they were mad for over a day thinking I badmouthed them to my friends when in fact I barely had mentioned that we were arguing about who I had become. No bad words were said about them yet they insisted they had heard it.

[sailor]

I would grab them both by the scruff of the neck and say in a loud voice "YOU SPEAK ENGLISH IN FRONT OF ME!!! I'M AN AMERICAN AND THEREFORE BETTER THAN YOU!"

Then I would say that the Portuguese are the N-words of Europe.

But that's just me.

you do realize that Brazilians speak Portuguese?

just sub in brazilians and south america; same story.

[TheMojoPin]

Maybe the focus should be on being less fat as opposed to being more nosy. Rude snooping doesn't burn that many calories.

[~Katja~]

just sub in brazilians and south america; same story.
ooooh, Julie will not be happy and Misti will kick your ass capoera style in sympathy!

[TripleSkeet]

Maybe the focus should be on being less fat as opposed to being more nosy. Rude snooping doesn't burn that many calories.

Is it snooping when they talk right in front of you?

[TheMojoPin]

Is it snooping when they talk right in front of you?

Fuck yeah. He didn't know what was being said. Maybe he should have been off jogging instead.

[topless_mike]

I speak fluent Spanish and there are many times when people will say something rude about me or others in a store. I let them go on and eventually call them out on it in their own language. The looks on their faces is priceless.

really?

a red haired pale skinned german (guessing by last name) from minnySOta ?
i would have never known. how on earth did you pick this up?

[underdog]

passable, maybe.

He does not speak gringo spanish.

[boosterp]

He does not speak gringo spanish.

No that's me. Tex-Mex is an awful variation.

[Dude!]

really?

a red haired pale skinned german (guessing by last name) from minnySOta ?
i would have never known. how on earth did you pick this up?

how do you know
his last name?

[ScottFromGA]

I was with my inlaws yesterday and walking with them on the beach and I was winded and hot. I was sweating and they were not. They all speak Portuguese and I began to sense that I was the subject of their yammering. I have picked up phrases and words here and there over the years and can get the gist of what's being said. But they were talking about me being in bad shape and fat and my sweating and puffing might mean I have cardiological implications etc. I walked on as if I didn't know, and my wife would glace at me, but did not defend me or tell them to stop. She has always been under their thumb. It bothered me, but I didn't show it because I take things like that as an education as to the true feelings of these people. They never really showed me respect and they think I am a moron and treat me like the alien I am to them. I let my wife know later on that I knew what they were saying and all, and she was a kind of defending them and I know she has a loyalty to them that is stronger than it is to me. That's another issue I have with her and what makes me want to end it with all of them.
I know I am fat and not in the best shape, and that is what bothers me. But I am also bothered inside by the realisation of her loyalty to her family over me, and to talk about me in front of me in a different langauge because you assume the other person can't understand it to me is a violation of trust.

Am I being overly sensitive?


I go through the same shit with my wife. She defends her parents tooth and nail while they constantly fuck her over and try to con her out of everything she/we have, she's just blind to the whole thing. She will not defend me on things when they have a problem with me and it bothers the piss outta me....but I don't stay quiet. I'll gotten into her POS Dad's face a few times about his mouth. I've gave them so much help through the 5 years that I've been with their daughter and for them to bad mouth me or talk shit just show the lack of respect they have for themselves and everyone around them. It's gotten to the point to where I wanna end this whole marriage just so I wouldn't have to be near them anymore........but I have a kid involved and I know she would be over there in that house with them at times when my wife would have her, and that just drives me totally insane to think about. I know my wife would not have the balls to go find a place of her own, she would be right there under their wing. It's fucking sad.

I'd tell the inlaws fast, if they don't like you, say it to your face....stop with the "Jibba Jabba" and speak American, fuck-o's!

[sr71blackbird]

Its amazing to me that I got banned because I accidentally posted in a thread in thats life and none of the mods seem to have any problem trashing me in my own thread in thats life. I appreciate the kind words from the regular good people though

[opie's twisted balls]

a red haired pale skinned german
Never happen. Adolf eliminated gingers from the fatherland.

[TheMojoPin]

Its amazing to me that I got banned because I accidentally posted in a thread in thats life and none of the mods seem to have any problem trashing me in my own thread in thats life. I appreciate the kind words from the regular good people though

I'm offering advice. You've said yourself that you're fat; wouldn't it make a little sense to make losing the weight a priority if you're so concerned about other people talking about how unhealthy you are?

[sr71blackbird]

Sure, you are right of course and I wish it was easier done than said. I walked like 6 miles today on the same beach with them, and I am trying to get myself in shape. Its just taking me more time than I'd like and I do slip and cheat. I need to change my exercise habits. Not everyone can be as skinny as you Mojo!

[TheMojoPin]

My skinny days are long behind me.

[JohnCharles]

No HD and you let your figure go?

When are you planning on heading off to the old-folks home?

[Stuft]

What's the problem w/ stopping your wife in her tracks when she doesn't stand up for you immediately?

Stewing helps?

[joethebartender]

If I got bad-mouthed for being fat in a different language by my in-laws at least I could pretend that they weren't talking about me. Mine say it in English! I feel your pain.

This came to mind (just for laughs):
http://content6.flixster.com/question/39/05/30/3905300_std.jpg

[KatPw]

I was with my inlaws yesterday and walking with them on the beach and I was winded and hot. I was sweating and they were not. They all speak Portuguese and I began to sense that I was the subject of their yammering. I have picked up phrases and words here and there over the years and can get the gist of what's being said. But they were talking about me being in bad shape and fat and my sweating and puffing might mean I have cardiological implications etc. I walked on as if I didn't know, and my wife would glace at me, but did not defend me or tell them to stop. She has always been under their thumb. It bothered me, but I didn't show it because I take things like that as an education as to the true feelings of these people. They never really showed me respect and they think I am a moron and treat me like the alien I am to them. I let my wife know later on that I knew what they were saying and all, and she was a kind of defending them and I know she has a loyalty to them that is stronger than it is to me. That's another issue I have with her and what makes me want to end it with all of them.
I know I am fat and not in the best shape, and that is what bothers me. But I am also bothered inside by the realisation of her loyalty to her family over me, and to talk about me in front of me in a different langauge because you assume the other person can't understand it to me is a violation of trust.

Am I being overly sensitive?
My aunt and grandmother were famous for doing this (they both spoke Russian). I hate that shit, I think it is rude and obnoxious. It was finally nipped in the bud when one of my cousins heard them snarking on someone and answered them back in Russian that he knew exactly what they were saying and would pass the gist of the conversation along to to person being talked about. That shut them up right quick.

[topless_mike]

how do you know
his last name?

magic.

[topless_mike]

my wife and her family are imports from Romainia.
they speak "romainglish", basically switching back and forth in the middle of sentences.
i think because sometimes they get stuck for a word in english that they know quite well in romainian. it actually doesnt bother me at all if they all speak in tongue (wife included), because im so used to it. i know words here and there, maybe enough to follow along, but not to interact.

maybe at first they used it to talk about me, never badmouthed though. at one point, i think that they thought i was uncomfy about it, but i straight up told them that talk in whatever language is easiest for you. since then its been all good.