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at least pretend
12-23-2009, 09:48 PM
Obviously we've seen Dave go through different relationships, Fez struggle with his, and Ron has been open about being divorced.

I was just wondering what everyone else has been through. Any stories of divorce, unhappy marriages, wanting to get divorced, relationship doubts?

I love the Ron and Fez listeners and fans and would love to hear what you all have to say.

Thanks!

GregoryJoseph
12-23-2009, 10:02 PM
Never married, only came close once.

Lived with a couple of women, and both of those relationships went south.

I tend to get bored rather quickly.

at least pretend
12-23-2009, 10:04 PM
I hear you. It seems tough, though. Like you might be giving up something that could be the right thing or you are staying in something that is not right for you.

And it turns into a whole new game when you live them.

GregoryJoseph
12-23-2009, 10:06 PM
And in 6 months time you ask yourself "What the hell was I thinking?"

~Katja~
12-23-2009, 10:12 PM
foolishly married young thinking I could change the man I was with into a good guy, after 7 years I gave up trying.
Met my son's father after and he felt he needed to hook up with a waitress at my mother's birthday party while we were visiting my family with his older son and out new baby.
Have been single since and learned a whole lot about not ever settling anymore and looking for happiness no matter what.
Sometimes being lonely is bliss... rather than being with someone for all the wrong reasons and being miserable while doing so.

at least pretend
12-23-2009, 10:20 PM
Thanks both of you for sharing your stories.

Sometimes it isn't even that black and white. There are some deal breakers for some like cheating. But sometimes the relationship is all good for the most part, but it feels like something missing.

And sometimes you wonder whether it is you or the person you are with.

JerseyRich
12-23-2009, 10:22 PM
Married my high school sweetheart of almost 11 years.

It was over before it began. Separated 7 months later...divorced 5 months after that.

Happy since!

Fez4PrezN2008
12-23-2009, 10:25 PM
Married my high school sweetheart of almost 11 years...
DAMN, it took you a long time to get through high school !

~Katja~
12-23-2009, 10:27 PM
Thanks both of you for sharing your stories.

Sometimes it isn't even that black and white. There are some deal breakers for some like cheating. But sometimes the relationship is all good for the most part, but it feels like something missing.

And sometimes you wonder whether it is you or the person you are with.
we all grow older and most often grow apart. There are a few lucky ones who grow together, it's what we usually strive for in a relationship but what rarely happens.
I for one don't believe that a marriage should be hard work. You live and love and you have the ability to love many in your lifetime.
You meet a person and fall in love cause you have many things in common or you adore certain silly behaviors that turn out to be the deal breaker in the long run.
Greg said he gets bored quickly, I don't think it's true boredom, it's just discovering that the person is not the one he will be happy with in the long run.
Even the most caring and charitable person is selfish in the end, and if they are not openly, they usually suffer quietly just cause they are not strong, independent and about their own needs, yet they have them. Nobody gives themselves up happily.

at least pretend
12-23-2009, 10:28 PM
Happy since is good to hear.

Even though in your situation it seems like the end of the world at the time, people are pretty resilient.

JerseyRich
12-23-2009, 10:28 PM
DAMN, it took you a long time to get through high school !

I found the love of my life (http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/2XD9BA1CJLJUP) now!

JerseyRich
12-23-2009, 10:29 PM
Happy since is good to hear.

Even though in your situation it seems like the end of the world at the time, people are pretty resilient.

I was lucky enough to not own anything with her and not have any kids.

WIN!

biggirl
12-23-2009, 10:30 PM
married my high school boyfriend. we were both 21 when married had a kid at 23 and 28 years of age. The only thing I regret is having kids too early. We cheated ourselves from getting to know each other better. I love my first born with all of my heart, but I was soooo not ready at 23 even though i thought I was. I was a much better mom at 28 when the 2nd when came.

Marriage is hard. Marriage + kids is even harder. I'm happy though. I love my life, but it can be a real challenge at times.

at least pretend
12-23-2009, 10:32 PM
katja, that was a beautiful post.

So do you think because people change as they get older they should jump from relationship to relationship? Or when you are younger, 20's etc, people change and want different things?

JerseyRich
12-23-2009, 10:33 PM
married my high school boyfriend. we were both 21 when married had a kid at 23 and 28 years of age. The only thing I regret is having kids too early. We cheated ourselves from getting to know each other better. I love my first born with all of my heart, but I was soooo not ready at 23 even though i thought I was. I was a much better mom at 28 when the 2nd when came.

Marriage is hard. Marriage + kids is even harder. I'm happy though. I love my life, but it can be a real challenge at times.

I can't imagine the hell that is your life (http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/2XD9BA1CJLJUP).

biggirl
12-23-2009, 10:35 PM
I can't imagine the hell that is your life (http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/2XD9BA1CJLJUP).

I was going to get you a yankees tie, I guess you don't want that.

JerseyRich
12-23-2009, 10:37 PM
I was going to get you a yankees tie, I guess you don't want that.

Do you see one on my list? Who wears ties with their favorite sports teams on them? Rednecks that's who!

biggirl
12-23-2009, 10:42 PM
Do you see one on my list? Who wears ties with their favorite sports teams on them? Rednecks that's who!

I thought you liked ties. I am very hurt now. No presents for you!!

JerseyRich
12-23-2009, 10:48 PM
I thought you liked ties. I am very hurt now. No presents for you!!
Nice ties...not tacky ones.

biggirl
12-23-2009, 10:51 PM
Nice ties...not tacky ones.

ryan has a tabasco tie and a yellow submarine tie and a snoopy tie....they aren't tacky....ok, well maybe the snoopy tie is.

Tenbatsuzen
12-23-2009, 10:52 PM
Married my high school sweetheart of almost 11 years.

It was over before it began. Separated 7 months later...divorced 5 months after that.

Happy since!

Since you brought it up... how did it go south so fast? You'd think, after 11 years, you'd know all you need to know.

GregoryJoseph
12-23-2009, 10:53 PM
Even the most caring and charitable person is selfish in the end, and if they are not openly, they usually suffer quietly just cause they are not strong, independent and about their own needs, yet they have them. Nobody gives themselves up happily.

I don't think I understand what you mean here.

Care to elucidate?

~Katja~
12-23-2009, 10:53 PM
katja, that was a beautiful post.

So do you think because people change as they get older they should jump from relationship to relationship? Or when you are younger, 20's etc, people change and want different things?
I don't think people should jump from one to the next, I think people should be honest and open about their feelings and need to find happiness though. They say if you love some you can't keep him close forever and sometimes you need to let go to actually let that person be happy enough to make you feel good. Maybe we all need to re-learn how a true friendship can be much more meaningful than a great physical relationship, maybe we can't always achieve both with the same person yet need both to be happy.

One mistake most people make who are broken up with or hurt from a past relationship; they seek a new one immediately instead of stepping back and taking time for themselves, rediscover who they are and what they really want and need. They are often so needy to be with someone and very close to someone that they give themselves up too quickly just to fulfill their need for physical closeness, as if it's the only way to feel loved and end up in yet another relationship destined to fail.

JerseyRich
12-23-2009, 10:59 PM
Since you brought it up... how did it go south so fast? You'd think, after 11 years, you'd know all you need to know.

We found out stuff real quick after we moved in together.

I found out she had a boyfriend (http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/2XD9BA1CJLJUP)!

~Katja~
12-23-2009, 11:04 PM
I don't think I understand what you mean here.

Care to elucidate?
I believe that every human being is selfish, some may give themselves up to make someone else happy and seem like the most caring person possible, but they often suffer quietly, showing that they are not happy, so they can't achieve true happiness by giving themselves up, they do have a (even if suppressed need) to feel happy. Being selfish is not a bad thing in my eyes, it's something we all feel and need to keep going one way or another.
I take my grandma as an example, she was married to my grandpa for over 50 years before she died. She gave herself up quietly, she did everything possible to make her husband happy, and all the people around her, but as someone who loved her very much, I could see that she was never happy, I saw it in her eyes. There was always a curiosity in them, she was always trying to secretly find little pieces of her own happiness. If she did not have that basic selfishness in her looking for what would make her happy she would have found complete happiness in who (what) she became to please my grandpa. She suffered quietly but was always longing for more.

Contra
12-24-2009, 12:15 AM
I'd break up with my girl, but our dog is too damn adorable!

PapaBear
12-24-2009, 03:30 AM
My first failed marriage turned 21 yesterday. WOO HOO!!! It's old enough to drink!!!!:drunk:

A.J.
12-24-2009, 08:20 AM
I've been single for almost 10 years. This has been my most successful relationship.

Tenbatsuzen
12-24-2009, 04:07 PM
We found out stuff real quick after we moved in together.

I found out she had a boyfriend (http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/2XD9BA1CJLJUP)!

I don't know about you, but I kinda want to have sex with my high def TV too... but mine's a Samsung. I have standards.

MHasegawa
12-25-2009, 12:55 PM
I've been single for almost 10 years. This has been my most successful relationship.

I have also been single for that amount of time, which is far from normal with me being 25 years of age.

opie's twisted balls
12-25-2009, 03:47 PM
Engaged twice, both were thankfully aborted before any real harm was done (to my bank account or otherwise). Aside from those two lived with another woman for 18 months (well she just sort of slept over once night and never left for a year and a half) that ended friendly enough. I date when I want, am single when I want. The consistent relationships in my life and the ones that bring me the most happiness and grounding are (in decreasing importance) my dog, family/friends, house, the mountains and my toys. Maybe I'm emotionally or psychologically deficient or damaged but I not seeking or pining to be with someone.

I'm of the opinion (and its also one of the hackiest douchiest lines of one of the hackiest douchiest movies) that its the people who go through life with the "you complete me" attitude when finding a significant other are the ones who are broken. If you're not whole or healthy yourself (emotionally, spiritually, etc.) pairing off with some other mawkish gimp isn't going to fix the situation.

Annie Waits
12-25-2009, 08:03 PM
I've been with CHUCKWAGONCOOK for 7 years, he's the only one I've ever brought home to meet my parents.

Someday when we are old enough we will get married. We adopted our first child last month, she is a 7 year old black........lab.

opie's twisted balls
12-26-2009, 12:14 AM
she is a 7 year old black........
christ on a pony you had me concerned for a moment

http://i48.tinypic.com/15oxen8.jpg

Kris10
12-26-2009, 11:29 AM
I went through my divorce while on this site almost 2 yrs ago.

Was married for 4 yrs to a U.S. Marine, had a child together, he came home from his 2nd tour in Iraq and decided after a few months he no longer wanted to be married or a parent. Apparently during the end of our marriage he was cheating on me with a then 19 yr old, he was 35 and she got knocked up.

I won't get married again. I'm happy being single, doing my own thing and not having to answer to anyone but my 6 yr old.

topless_mike
12-26-2009, 11:31 AM
I went through my divorce while on this site almost 2 yrs ago.

Was married for 4 yrs to a U.S. Marine, had a child together, he came home from his 2nd tour in Iraq and decided after a few months he no longer wanted to be married or a parent. Apparently during the end of our marriage he was cheating on me with a then 19 yr old, he was 35 and she got knocked up.

I won't get married again. I'm happy being single, doing my own thing and not having to answer to anyone but my 6 yr old.

:wub:

i miss you when you are not around.
welcome back.

Kris10
12-26-2009, 11:35 AM
:wub:

i miss you when you are not around.
welcome back.

:wub:
Thanks hun! You know I wuv you!!!! Hit me up on FB, I'm always on there!

burrben
12-26-2009, 11:57 AM
i got engaged in early december, so we'll see how that turns out

Kris10
12-26-2009, 11:58 AM
i got engaged in early december, so we'll see how that turns out

I'm sorry

cougarjake13
12-26-2009, 12:53 PM
christ on a pony you had me concerned for a moment

http://i48.tinypic.com/15oxen8.jpg



whats wrong with her face !!!!!!

FUNKMAN
12-26-2009, 01:06 PM
divorced Feb 2007. the first woman I dated seriouslyafterwards, for 9 months then on and off for another 5, eventually put an entry on dontdatehimgirls.com and labeled me a narcissist psychopath... she claimed if any woman got mixed up with me she would be left at the gates of hell trying to pick up the pieces of her life

i posted my side and comments and then she took it down

this was a woman on our first date that stated "well you won't throw me out of bed"...

it's a long story but just want to say I never laid down with another woman while I was with this woman, so that's not the issue...

Kris10
12-26-2009, 02:02 PM
divorced Feb 2007. the first woman I dated seriouslyafterwards, for 9 months then on and off for another 5, eventually put an entry on dontdatehimgirls.com and labeled me a narcissist psychopath... she claimed if any woman got mixed up with me she would be left at the gates of hell trying to pick up the pieces of her life

i posted my side and comments and then she took it down

this was a woman on our first date that stated "well you won't throw me out of bed"...

it's a long story but just want to say I never laid down with another woman while I was with this woman, so that's not the issue...

:surrender: I've never knew such a website existed!

boosterp
12-27-2009, 12:42 AM
I went through my divorce while on this site almost 2 yrs ago.

Was married for 4 yrs to a U.S. Marine, had a child together, he came home from his 2nd tour in Iraq and decided after a few months he no longer wanted to be married or a parent. Apparently during the end of our marriage he was cheating on me with a then 19 yr old, he was 35 and she got knocked up.

I won't get married again. I'm happy being single, doing my own thing and not having to answer to anyone but my 6 yr old.

Missed you too budday!

Kris10
12-27-2009, 10:47 AM
Missed you too budday!

:clap::clap:

sailor
12-27-2009, 10:51 AM
whats wrong with her face !!!!!!

nothing new.

Ocho Cinco
01-03-2010, 12:47 PM
to quote chris rock, there are only two options. "Married and bored, single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere"

i've never been married but that's because when i do i plan on it being for life, i'd say over half the people i know who get married are doing it because you are "suppossed" to do it rather then it being the right thing. i understand though, they are w/ women who are raised to think they have to be married by 30 so of course a majority of these people are just running through the motions because that is what is expected.

i figure i'll be on my first marriage when my friends are on their second. but my wife will be much younger then theirs...

Jujubees2
01-03-2010, 01:07 PM
I've been married for 16 years and with my wife for 18 (we've known each other for over 20 years). I was one of those people who never thought he would get married but when the friendship with my wife progressed into a relationship and after a while I knew there was no one else I wanted to go through life with. Sure we've had some momemnts where it wasn't all smooth sailing but I still look at her to this day and keep reminding myself just how lucky I am to have found her.

grlNIN
01-03-2010, 02:02 PM
I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 3yrs, living together with no plans to marry.

weekapaugjz
01-03-2010, 02:17 PM
I always had bad luck with chicks, or maybe I created my own bad luck, who knows.

Was with a girl in college for close to 2 years who eventually dumped me for her ex. When I went to grad school, I had a hard time meeting anyone. Everyone who I was interested in was already with someone else. I finally met a chick I thought I was into. Turned into a lot off bullshit and me being drug along at her convenience. I told her off on a weekend I was moving away for a new job. I swore to myself I wasn't going to get involved with anyone for awhile until I figured out what I wanted.

Not two days latter I met a girl through mutual friends at cheap margarita night and have been together since. That was two and a half years ago, moved in together two years ago, and will be getting married next december.

joethebartender
01-03-2010, 02:43 PM
I always had bad luck with chicks, or maybe I created my own bad luck, who knows.

Was with a girl in college for close to 2 years who eventually dumped me for her ex. When I went to grad school, I had a hard time meeting anyone. Everyone who I was interested in was already with someone else. I finally met a chick I thought I was into. Turned into a lot off bullshit and me being drug along at her convenience. I told her off on a weekend I was moving away for a new job. I swore to myself I wasn't going to get involved with anyone for awhile until I figured out what I wanted.

Not two days latter I met a girl through mutual friends at cheap margarita night and have been together since. That was two and a half years ago, moved in together two years ago, and will be getting married next december.

That's the magic of low-end tequila!