Smelly Dick Syndrome

[itikigodi]

well i would liek to say hello Dr
and i just wanted to know about my dick
well let me start over
ok about 3 or 4 years ago i got drunk enoff to have sex with this chick whit the smellyest vagina i have ever smelled. soon after that i started noticeing my dick was a bit smelly
but i thought nothing of it and yes i know this is realy late and after the fact but now 3 or 4 years later i realy think somthing is wrong. i mean be for that girl if i missed a shower it was like o well i will be a little more smelly then yesterday and go about my day. but now sinces that girl if i miss a shower or dont scrub my dick hard core i can smell my self and it smells bad and i have had a few girls tell me it was smelly as well. but for the most part my dick looks like a dick and there is nothing weird about it.
so i guess i want to know what can i do to get a non smelly dick

[jauble]

well i would liek to say hello Dr
and i just wanted to know about my dick
well let me start over
ok about 3 or 4 years ago i got drunk enoff to have sex with this chick whit the smellyest vagina i have ever smelled. soon after that i started noticeing my dick was a bit smelly
but i thought nothing of it and yes i know this is realy late and after the fact but now 3 or 4 years later i realy think somthing is wrong. i mean be for that girl if i missed a shower it was like o well i will be a little more smelly then yesterday and go about my day. but now sinces that girl if i miss a shower or dont scrub my dick hard core i can smell my self and it smells bad and i have had a few girls tell me it was smelly as well. but for the most part my dick looks like a dick and there is nothing weird about it.
so i guess i want to know what can i do to get a non smelly dick

Usually this at least plugs a website.

[opie's twisted balls]

so i guess i want to know what can i do to get a non smelly dick
only stick it into non-smelly twats and assholes

[Dr Steve]

well i would liek to say hello Dr
and i just wanted to know about my dick
well let me start over
ok about 3 or 4 years ago i got drunk enoff to have sex with this chick whit the smellyest vagina i have ever smelled. soon after that i started noticeing my dick was a bit smelly
but i thought nothing of it and yes i know this is realy late and after the fact but now 3 or 4 years later i realy think somthing is wrong. i mean be for that girl if i missed a shower it was like o well i will be a little more smelly then yesterday and go about my day. but now sinces that girl if i miss a shower or dont scrub my dick hard core i can smell my self and it smells bad and i have had a few girls tell me it was smelly as well. but for the most part my dick looks like a dick and there is nothing weird about it.
so i guess i want to know what can i do to get a non smelly dick

You may simply have a chronic yeast infection. That will cause a musty, well, "yeasty" smell. You can now buy yeast infection medication over the counter. You could start with "clotrimazole" cream applied twice daily for 7 days. If that doesn't do the trick, you may need to see your primary care provider. I know it's an embarassing-seeming question to ask, but your primary will find this an intriguing problem to be solved and will not judge you (assuming you've chosen a primary who is ethical and intellectually engaged).

let me know how it turns out!


your friend,



steve

[opie's twisted balls]

but your primary will find this an intriguing problem to be solved
Do primary care providers really like a challenge like this since it breaks up the monotony of diaper rashes, coughing, etc?

and will not judge you
Also assuming his yeasty pecker won't make it onto youtube with a suitable Filipino laugh track. :D

[Dr Steve]

Do primary care providers really like a challenge like this since it breaks up the monotony of diaper rashes, coughing, etc?

absolutely, unless they're just a burn out case.


Also assuming his yeasty pecker won't make it onto youtube with a suitable Filipino laugh track. :D

damn, that is one good point. those guys set back patient privacy 100 years. we talked about it on Weird Medicine. Jefferson the Lawyer called that video "Plaintiff's Exhibit #1". :smile:

[opie's twisted balls]

Jefferson the Lawyer called that video "Plaintiff's Exhibit #1". :smile:
The defense "if the ad hoc anal dildo does not fit, you must acquit"

http://themixtapemonster.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/johnnie.jpg

[thepaulo]

scrub with brillo pad.

[opie's twisted balls]

So here's a follow up question. Lets say you find a doctor who isn't going to chuckle at your stinky penis and does view the diagnosis as a chalange.....a simple swab around the glans and then off to the lab or will (s)he be more old school? Not suggesting that they follow Dr. Steve's lead ala "I can tell if you're diabetic by the taste of your piss" and give itikigodi's yeasty/funky pecker a lick but do doctors ever use smell to diagnose something putrid like this?

[Dr Steve]

So here's a follow up question. Lets say you find a doctor who isn't going to chuckle at your stinky penis and does view the diagnosis as a chalange.....a simple swab around the glans and then off to the lab or will (s)he be more old school? Not suggesting that they follow Dr. Steve's lead ala "I can tell if you're diabetic by the taste of your piss" and give itikigodi's yeasty/funky pecker a lick but do doctors ever use smell to diagnose something putrid like this?

Absolutely! I can smell someone's breath and tell if they're going through a diabetic crisis (ketoacidosis), or have liver failure (faetor hepaticus). I can smell the inside of a sebaceous cyst and tell if it's infected. I can smell a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis a mile away, so we do indeed use our sense of smell.

Taste is the one sense we no longer use, but in diagnosing a varied list of problems we use all 4 of the other senses daily.

your pal,



steve

[thepaulo]

have a dog lick it

[SatCam]

I can smell a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis a mile away

that must've come in handy during college

[Marc with a c]

<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/E6we3XiiAnI&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/E6we3XiiAnI&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>

[opie's twisted balls]

I can smell a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis a mile away
Esteemed physician, famed radio host, astrophysics aficionado, vintner to the stars and all around good egg.......nope, not enough for one man.....he can also sniff out a putrid cunt from from the next county. :thumbup:

But cool. And I should have been a bit more on the ball before asking my question since in the EMS training they do cover off the fruity smell of someone experiencing DKA.

On the subject of vile/odd smells the human body can produce I have a very vivid memory of when I was 5 years old. I had cut my toe on something and thought I'd be smart and just bandage it myself and not doing anything to first get rid of the dirt and gunk in the wound. It got sore but I didn't want to wuss out and tell my folks. I knew I had to fess up when one night it was really sore, I pulled away the bandaid and gave it a look....all full up puss and had a very strong odor of grape jello. Even though I was only a kid I knew that it was a bad sign if something on me is smelling like fake grape.

[Dr Steve]

Even though I was only a kid I knew that it was a bad sign if something on me is smelling like fake grape.

yep, that's a sign of a bacterium called pseudomonas...classically described as grape smelling. See how smart you are?

[Chigworthy]

but for the most part my dick looks like a dick

At least you've got that.

[opie's twisted balls]

yep, that's a sign of a bacterium called pseudomonas...classically described as grape smelling. See how smart you are?
Wild! And probably not all that smart, just intuitive enough to know that a wound shouldn't smell like candy. Wonder if that early memory is why I've never liked sucking girlfriend's toes?

[midwestjeff]

Wonder if that early memory is why I've never liked sucking girlfriend's toes?

Doubtful. If that was the case then why would you
love having grape tootsie pops shoved up your ass so much?

[opie's twisted balls]

Doubtful. If that was the case then why would you
love having grape tootsie pops shoved up your ass so much?
How else would I prepare the candy for Halloween?