JerseyRich
01-25-2002, 06:44 PM
This is a speech that Sheeplovr gave in his class at school...Please pull up a chair...sit back...Get yourself some popcorn and enjoy this great piece of literary genius!
Let's Buy a Deep Fryer
by Sheeplovr(Not his real name)
Do you know what a deep fryer is? A deep fryer is a large container device filled with oil or lard that boils the oil or lard to their boiling points.
When the oil or lard is boiling you can dunk stuff into the boiling oil or lard so the stuff gets fried.
Now lets buy one.
Why buy a deep fryer?
There are the obvious reasons first food then experimentation on stuff like clothes or cars or something and then the personal curiosity to fry living people or dead, but I'm sure it would be really easier to fry dead people
But the horror that's on peoples faces while slowly lowering the fry cage in to the oil or lard and you hear sizzle sizzle sizzle while there still alive would be worth it. But I'll get into that later.
1st Part:
Of course when you first think of deep-frying, you think food.
Food gets fried in oil all the time chicken, potatoes and shrimp are probably the most used food in A frying Situation.
But if we had our own or I had my own we could fry hot-dogs, carrots, and even pie
Think of the combinations people!
2nd Part:
For the second reason why we or I need to but a massive industrial deep fryer is stuff and things you know stuff and things everyone has stuff and things.
This would just be fun. How would you like to throw a shoe into the fryer or how about a shirt?
Clothes aren't the only thing what about balls, rubber balls plastic balls and even balls of clay.
Even better how about a deep-fried bike or maybe ever car yes car I'm taking a huge fryer like a 1000 gallon size fryer. Thinking of the possibility of stuff to throw in makes you me tingly inside don't you.
3rd Part:
Well it's time for the most important reason to buy a deep fryer
To be able to deep fry people.
Come on you know you want to.
I know I do it doesn't have to be innocent people maybe I'll settle on just criminals.
We can let the courts decide who gets fried or not like death penalty or we can become vigilantes and we can make or I find our own our own criminals like Batman And we can deep fry them the criminals that is and leave their fried corps In front of the police station with a note taped to them. But those seams like a lot of work
And I know how us teens are we would get ADD and loose interest after a month or so in the vigilante system
Instead we can fry people for the heck of it or another alternative is to open up a Funeral Service and we can deep fry dead people for a price
It be pretty cool to deep-fry a loved one don't you think.
Conclusion:
I am guessing a price for a deep fryer this size 10x10 and holding 1000 gallons of oil would probably cost about $100,000 at an army surplus store. We can all sell some of our things so we can buy one. It's on of those investments that make its money back.
So in conclusion we must own a deep fryer
Once we have one we can start frying things and people and we will get respect then we will rule the East Coast then We will spread our empire to the Bible belt there be easy
Anyone standing in our way will meet our oily wrath. Then onto the West Coast
Once we control the US we would technically control the world. So if your in on the deep fryer you will rule a piece of the world with me
After that we could make an even bigger fryer with the slaves we would imprison as punishment for opposing us. Thus creating a fryer big enough to take on a blue whale then after that I know I could die in peace.
:)
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#833 seeeeyuh!
AIM: CamManRich, LaterYearsLenay, RnF JerseyRich
Let's Buy a Deep Fryer
by Sheeplovr(Not his real name)
Do you know what a deep fryer is? A deep fryer is a large container device filled with oil or lard that boils the oil or lard to their boiling points.
When the oil or lard is boiling you can dunk stuff into the boiling oil or lard so the stuff gets fried.
Now lets buy one.
Why buy a deep fryer?
There are the obvious reasons first food then experimentation on stuff like clothes or cars or something and then the personal curiosity to fry living people or dead, but I'm sure it would be really easier to fry dead people
But the horror that's on peoples faces while slowly lowering the fry cage in to the oil or lard and you hear sizzle sizzle sizzle while there still alive would be worth it. But I'll get into that later.
1st Part:
Of course when you first think of deep-frying, you think food.
Food gets fried in oil all the time chicken, potatoes and shrimp are probably the most used food in A frying Situation.
But if we had our own or I had my own we could fry hot-dogs, carrots, and even pie
Think of the combinations people!
2nd Part:
For the second reason why we or I need to but a massive industrial deep fryer is stuff and things you know stuff and things everyone has stuff and things.
This would just be fun. How would you like to throw a shoe into the fryer or how about a shirt?
Clothes aren't the only thing what about balls, rubber balls plastic balls and even balls of clay.
Even better how about a deep-fried bike or maybe ever car yes car I'm taking a huge fryer like a 1000 gallon size fryer. Thinking of the possibility of stuff to throw in makes you me tingly inside don't you.
3rd Part:
Well it's time for the most important reason to buy a deep fryer
To be able to deep fry people.
Come on you know you want to.
I know I do it doesn't have to be innocent people maybe I'll settle on just criminals.
We can let the courts decide who gets fried or not like death penalty or we can become vigilantes and we can make or I find our own our own criminals like Batman And we can deep fry them the criminals that is and leave their fried corps In front of the police station with a note taped to them. But those seams like a lot of work
And I know how us teens are we would get ADD and loose interest after a month or so in the vigilante system
Instead we can fry people for the heck of it or another alternative is to open up a Funeral Service and we can deep fry dead people for a price
It be pretty cool to deep-fry a loved one don't you think.
Conclusion:
I am guessing a price for a deep fryer this size 10x10 and holding 1000 gallons of oil would probably cost about $100,000 at an army surplus store. We can all sell some of our things so we can buy one. It's on of those investments that make its money back.
So in conclusion we must own a deep fryer
Once we have one we can start frying things and people and we will get respect then we will rule the East Coast then We will spread our empire to the Bible belt there be easy
Anyone standing in our way will meet our oily wrath. Then onto the West Coast
Once we control the US we would technically control the world. So if your in on the deep fryer you will rule a piece of the world with me
After that we could make an even bigger fryer with the slaves we would imprison as punishment for opposing us. Thus creating a fryer big enough to take on a blue whale then after that I know I could die in peace.
:)
<img src=http://publish.hometown.aol.com/cammanrich1/myhomepage/rf.netcrybaby2.jpg?mtbrand=AOL_US>
Waaaaa!Waaaaa!
#833 seeeeyuh!
AIM: CamManRich, LaterYearsLenay, RnF JerseyRich