Parenting Classes

[Tenbatsuzen]

So as an expectant father, I know my job is gonna come down to the following things:

Changing diapers, holding the baby, signing the checks, etc. etc. etc. My wife is really good around kids so I figured I could learn from her lead.

My question is - are parenting classes a bunch of malarkey or can you really take something away from it? If you are a father, what did you do to prepare?

[Death Metal Moe]

You should sign up for "Human 101" 1st.

[PapaBear]

It all comes pretty natural, to tell you the truth. You occasionally have to look something up, like about sickness and stuff, but I don't see how I could have really learned anything from a class. The birthing classes helped, though.

This reminds me... I used to work with a girl who was totally freaked out while she was pregnant. She cried just about every day, because she was SURE she'd have no idea how to be mother. I just kept telling her that it will click the instant the baby was born. Sure enough, she thanked me. She said everything I told her was true. She's still a great mother.

[Tenbatsuzen]

You should sign up for "Human 101" 1st.

http://terryfrank.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/17636-13443.gif

zero... point... zero.

[Death Metal Moe]

Truth is rarely funny Matthew.

[Ritalin]

I've never taken a parenting class, but I'm
pretty sure you'll be fine. Buy the Sears book and wing it.

[sailor]

no need for classes, but they probably couldn't hurt.

[walking joint]

my feeling is if you need a class, you probably aren't ready anyway. It will all just come naturally and don't worry about it. sure you will stress about the first fever or illness, but you are going to do that no matter what they teach you and you will get thru it fine.

[Crispy123]

I took one because I was in the military and it was free plus I had a stepdaughter so it was very helpful in that regard. They go over some basic stuff. Nothing really mindblowing but it does help you get in to the "baby" mindframe which does indeed turn your world upside down.

I would say the number one reason is because it put my chicks mind a little at ease by showing that I was in to having our kid. I was never bored or wished that I didn't take it.

[topless_mike]

Matty,
You already know what to do, but just havent done it yet. Its instinctual.

The birthing class is much more important than any parenting class. Knowing where you have to go and what the the basic process is is way more important. Everything else will just come naturally.

Being a first time father can be nerve racking. The whole "I can barely take care of myself let alone a baby" scenario will play out in your head over and over. Ignore it. You and Liz will do just fine. *rock voice* Millions annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd millions *end rock voice* of other parents have gone through this. You are no different, dood.

Always feel free to axe questions, though. Look forward to seeing you in the "Our Kids Thread".

[Tall_James]

You should sign up for "Human 101" 1st.

POST OF THE YEAR! :clap:

As far as parenting class, don't do it. You'll just end up with some hippie teacher who will tell you things that you don't want to hear and don't need to do.

My advice is to find a male friend/relative who seems to have his shit together in this department, buy him a beer and ask him for what he feels are the most important things that you need to concentrate on.

Babies aren't as scary as you think. Its the Moms that are scary when they begin to think that they're doing everything by themselves. Plus, they're sleep-deprived so add that into the mix and you've got a powder keg situation.

My two key pieces of advice are the following and are paramount to maintaining a happy household after the arrival of a child:

1. Figure out a way to get your wife more uninterrupted sleep. (It'll be easier once you start bottle feeding because you can take the late feedings yourself and let her sleep more)

2. Follow this mantra about everything around the house: "If it's full - empty it. If it's empty - fill it." Believe me, this one is important.

[Freitag]

My advice is to find a male friend/relative who seems to have his shit together in this department, buy him a beer and ask him for what he feels are the most important things that you need to concentrate on.



So, what do you drink?



Babies aren't as scary as you think. Its the Moms that are scary when they begin to think that they're doing everything by themselves. Plus, they're sleep-deprived so add that into the mix and you've got a powder keg situation.



Fortunately, Liz and I are getting into a pretty good rhythm where I do a lot of cooking and cleaning up around the house, so this will hopefully continue once Junior arrives.


2. Follow this mantra about everything around the house: "If it's full - empty it. If it's empty - fill it." Believe me, this one is important.

Incidentally, I've been doing this a LOT. We hadn't had a massive cleanout of all of our "stuff" in a while, so I've been doing a lot of separation into what is junk, what gets donated to goodwill, what gets recycled, and what gets shredded.

[Don Stugots]

You should sign up for "Human 101" 1st.

very true.

[Freitag]

As far as parenting class, don't do it. You'll just end up with some hippie teacher who will tell you things that you don't want to hear and don't need to do.

And this is EXACTLY the main reason why I don't want to take a parenting class.

[Jujubees2]

Have two kids and didn't take a parenting class though I did the Lamaze thing. The best part about Lamaze is in the beginning when they take you on a tour of the hospital and show you where you should go when the time comes so that you're not running around crazy.

The relaxation techniques were okay but once my wife got into serious labor it was difficult. Just remember to have a bowl of ice chips available.

I was told that I needed to take the Lamaze class in order to be in the delivery room but neither time did anyone ask me for proof.

When the baby came home I slept through the night the first night and thought that we had the greatest baby in the world until my wife told me she was up three times with him. I became a much lighter sleeper after that.

The important thing for your wife is that whenever the baby is sleeping she should be sleeping too.

[Freitag]

I was told that I needed to take the Lamaze class in order to be in the delivery room but neither time did anyone ask me for proof.



Was the lamaze class sponsored by the hospital? Because I think you got ripped off.

Our hospital recommended some programs, but didn't say we HAD to take anything.

[ANC]

We never had any classes. We took a tour of the hospital 2 months before we had our son.

She had a C-Section so we were in the hospital for 4 days so we had plenty of "thrown into the Fire" practice.

You'll do fine.

[Jujubees2]

Was the lamaze class sponsored by the hospital? Because I think you got ripped off.

Our hospital recommended some programs, but didn't say we HAD to take anything.

Yeah, it was at the hospital we used but I think it was sponsored by the Red Cross. It wasn't a total waste of money but the last class was the best when they brought in dolls and showed you how to change a diaper. Let me tell you it’s a lot different on a live baby, especially a boy who has a tendency to spray away while you're trying to put the clean diaper on.

[Don Stugots]

We never had any classes. We took a tour of the hospital 2 months before we had our son.

She had a C-Section so we were in the hospital for 4 days so we had plenty of "thrown into the Fire" practice.

You'll do fine.

isnt parenting pretty much "thrown into the fire" and handle this anyway?

[A.J.]

Just do whatever Liz says and you'll be fine.

[Tall_James]

isnt parenting pretty much "thrown into the fire" and handle this anyway?

Yes, it is. However there are a lot of knuckleheads out there who think that if they take a class at the local Y, they're now Dr. Spock and everything will be smooth sailing.

[Tall_James]

We hadn't had a massive cleanout of all of our "stuff" in a while, so I've been doing a lot of separation into what is junk, what gets donated to goodwill, what gets recycled, and what gets shredded.

That's good but I'm talking about things once the baby is there. Empty the diaper pail when its almost full, replace the liner. Fill up the diaper bin where you change the baby when you're down to the last few diapers. Empty the garbage can, fill the fridge with food. Things like that so Mom doesn't need to worry about it.

But sleep is the most important thing you can give Liz to keep her sane.

[ANC]

isnt parenting pretty much "thrown into the fire" and handle this anyway?

Yes it is.. It's one of those things you gotta just let nature and instinct take over.

Always be open to advice, but when all is said and done, it's your child and you gotta do what you feel is right.

That's my advice.

[Freitag]

if they take a class at the local Y, they're now Dr. Spock and everything will be smooth sailing.

ship... out of... danger?

*straightens uniform*

[A.J.]

Yes, it is. However there are a lot of knuckleheads out there who think that if they take a class at the local Y, they're now Dr. Spock and everything will be smooth sailing.

ship... out of... danger?

*straightens uniform*

The needs of the baby outweigh the needs of the parents.

[Freitag]

The needs of the baby outweigh the needs of the parents.

"Matty, I need a clean diaper in three minutes or we're all dead!"

[A.J.]

"Matty, I need a clean diaper in three minutes or we're all dead!"

"Bless you Matty...GO LIZ!"

[Freitag]

"Bless you Matty...GO LIZ!"

You can't pull the tabs on that diaper! You'll flood the whole compartment!

[Tall_James]

"Admiral, there be pregnant women here!"

[Thebazile78]

How did I know that once Jim mentioned Spock, this thread would degenerate into a Star Trek fanboy fest?

Thanks guys, you all made my day. Especially Jim. :clap:

[Thebazile78]

Yeah, it was at the hospital we used but I think it was sponsored by the Red Cross. It wasn't a total waste of money but the last class was the best when they brought in dolls and showed you how to change a diaper. Let me tell you it’s a lot different on a live baby, especially a boy who has a tendency to spray away while you're trying to put the clean diaper on.

LOL, by the way.

My nephew is 12 weeks old; I watched him for a couple of hours while my sister caught some z's and had to change a diaper. Mind you, I haven't changed a diaper in over 20 years.

I did OK and he didn't spray. But I worked fast.

It's like riding a bike ... you may feel a bit rusty, but the motion comes back to you.

The thing I am nervous about is bath time. I haven't bathed an infant since my sister was a baby. 24 years ago. Infants are squirmy. Wet infants are slippery as well as squirmy. That's terrifying.

[topless_mike]

bath time is easy. neither one of my kids were squirmy. especially when you use this.

http://www.amazon.com/Leachco-Safer-Bather-Infant-Bath/dp/B00005JIVI/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1265290876&sr=8-3

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51NWT3CIyUL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

[Jujubees2]

LOL, by the way.

My nephew is 12 weeks old; I watched him for a couple of hours while my sister caught some z's and had to change a diaper. Mind you, I haven't changed a diaper in over 20 years.

I did OK and he didn't spray. But I worked fast.

It's like riding a bike ... you may feel a bit rusty, but the motion comes back to you.

The thing I am nervous about is bath time. I haven't bathed an infant since my sister was a baby. 24 years ago. Infants are squirmy. Wet infants are slippery as well as squirmy. That's terrifying.

Just use the gentle cycle and remember not to put too much soap in the machine. Babies really enjoy the spin cycle!

[Thebazile78]

bath time is easy. neither one of my kids were squirmy. especially when you use this.

http://www.amazon.com/Leachco-Safer-Bather-Infant-Bath/dp/B00005JIVI/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1265290876&sr=8-3

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51NWT3CIyUL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

We had a sponge-form thing for my sister until it got gross. I don't really remember it being much help because it wasn't a wedge shape or anything, so you always had to have a hand on the li'l bugger, and my sister was a squirmer.

Therefore, I am not counting on a non-squirmy baby.

[Freitag]

Just use the gentle cycle and remember not to put too much soap in the machine. Babies really enjoy the spin cycle!

goddamn that's funny. no wonder she wanted the new washer/dryer.

[Jujubees2]

We had a sponge-form thing for my sister until it got gross. I don't really remember it being much help because it wasn't a wedge shape or anything, so you always had to have a hand on the li'l bugger, and my sister was a squirmer.

Therefore, I am not counting on a non-squirmy baby.

Just get Matty a pair of these...

http://www.footlocker.com/images/products/large/00021_l.jpg

[topless_mike]

Just get Matty a pair of these...

http://www.footlocker.com/images/products/large/00021_l.jpg

god dam, what movie was that? necessary roughness? where they put the glue or whatever on his hands.
he catches the ball and when he tries to hand it to the ref, it stuck to him?
either necessary roughness or the replacements. cant rememeber. just remember funny as shit.

[Don Stugots]

god dam, what movie was that? necessary roughness? where they put the glue or whatever on his hands.
he catches the ball and when he tries to hand it to the ref, it stuck to him?
either necessary roughness or the replacements. cant rememeber. just remember funny as shit.

the replacements, CLifford Franklin

[Freitag]

god dam, what movie was that? necessary roughness? where they put the glue or whatever on his hands.
he catches the ball and when he tries to hand it to the ref, it stuck to him?
either necessary roughness or the replacements. cant rememeber. just remember funny as shit.

Wasn't that in "Little Giants" too?

[Jujubees2]

Anyone here remember Jack Tatem from the Raiders?

http://www.raiderslinks.com/images/newall/stickem86.jpg

[~Katja~]

well, like all others I share the sentiment:
parenting class- NO
Lamaze class and an open house at the hospital - YES

I did the lamaze thing and actually used it during labor. I don't think Lukas' dad kept much of it and did not help much during labor cause it took forever and he was just excited and impatient.

Especially if you worry too much that you would do things right, you would go crazy trying to do things by the book rather than going with the natural flow of things.

If Liz breastfeeds your interaction with the baby for the first few months would be minimal cause the kid will mostly sleep and nurse and your main role will be to take care of things around the house and help her get comfortable in her role as new mom.


Don't worry, once that kid pops out you will be amazed how natural it all feels and what a great mom Liz will be just from her instincts alone.

[~Katja~]

LOL, by the way.

My nephew is 12 weeks old; I watched him for a couple of hours while my sister caught some z's and had to change a diaper. Mind you, I haven't changed a diaper in over 20 years.

I did OK and he didn't spray. But I worked fast.

It's like riding a bike ... you may feel a bit rusty, but the motion comes back to you.

The thing I am nervous about is bath time. I haven't bathed an infant since my sister was a baby. 24 years ago. Infants are squirmy. Wet infants are slippery as well as squirmy. That's terrifying.

if you have a boy just always keep the diaper over his penis , lay the fresh diaper under his bum with the old one on, open it, lift his butt and clean it and quickly, pull out the old, put the other one over it. Never start changing a diaper without a fresh one in reach and point his penis downwards so it does not leak out the top of the diaper. 30 second diaper change. You'll master it in a week!
done.

[Jujubees2]

if you have a boy just always keep the diaper over his penis , lay the fresh diaper under his bum with the old one on, open it, lift his butt and clean it and quickly, pull out the old, put the other one over it. Never start changing a diaper without a fresh one in reach and point his penis downwards so it does not leak out the top of the diaper. 30 second diaper change. You'll master it in a week!
done.

Where were you 14 years ago when I went to change my son's diaper for the first time at the hospital? At least the nurses thought it was funny.

[~Katja~]

Where were you 14 years ago when I went to change my son's diaper for the first time at the hospital? At least the nurses thought it was funny.
I only learned this trick 4 years ago... the hard way (or more like the pissed on way)

[topless_mike]

in the hospital, the pediatrician made me change all the diapers. it took a couple of tries to get it right, but now its a 20 second ordeal, if that.
and, dont worry if you get pissed or pooped on. every parent does. its just par for the course.

[sr71blackbird]

http://media1.break.com/dnet/media/2010/2/3/46%20Parenting%20Fail_thumb.jpg

[Contra]

if you have a boy just always keep the diaper over his penis , lay the fresh diaper under his bum with the old one on, open it, lift his butt and clean it and quickly, pull out the old, put the other one over it. Never start changing a diaper without a fresh one in reach and point his penis downwards so it does not leak out the top of the diaper. 30 second diaper change. You'll master it in a week!
done.

Or just learn to stick and move!

[Thebazile78]

well, like all others I share the sentiment:
parenting class- NO
Lamaze class and an open house at the hospital - YES

I did the lamaze thing and actually used it during labor. I don't think Lukas' dad kept much of it and did not help much during labor cause it took forever and he was just excited and impatient.

Especially if you worry too much that you would do things right, you would go crazy trying to do things by the book rather than going with the natural flow of things.

If Liz breastfeeds your interaction with the baby for the first few months would be minimal cause the kid will mostly sleep and nurse and your main role will be to take care of things around the house and help her get comfortable in her role as new mom.


Don't worry, once that kid pops out you will be amazed how natural it all feels and what a great mom Liz will be just from her instincts alone.

Lamaze is communist propa... wait. Oops. My bad.

They actually recommended we take a childbirth class of some sort when we had our last prenatal visit. I have a booklet that's been supplemented with web videos and stuff that I can take a look at whenever I want ... I haven't made the time to do it yet. I've been really tired this week when I get home.

Yes, I plan on breastfeeding so at our next prenatal appointment, we'll be meeting with a lactation consultant, so there will be a lot of information from her for both of us to take in. I'm looking forward to the information and the support from someone OTHER than my mom. (Frankly, the idea of getting nursing advice from my mother rather than a clinician makes me REALLY uncomfortable.)

[KC2OSO]

It's funny but most of it comes very naturally. You guys have probably been reading all the baby books out there so you're fine. You'd be surprised what is there in your genetic code. Babies are so amazing I can't even describe it to you. You have to go through it to know. They are completely defenseless. No hair, fangs, claws...nothing. Just a fat baby - and then it dawns on you how totally dependent they are on you. You'll do great though. You and Mrs. Freitag will hit a stride and a rhythm with the diapers and the feedings. It's really nothing to be afraid of. Before long you'll be doing 10 second diapers.
Just help your wife out as much as possible. She has a sore tuccus.
Take lots of movies and pictures (not of your wife's tuccus). This time will fly by so frikkin fast. Before you know it they are one, then two.

Personally, I'd like some parenting classes for douchie 11 year old kids who lie and don't want to do their homework. I love my son but he can be a real prick sometimes. :sad:

Good luck and congratulations!

[Tenbatsuzen]

I'm looking forward to the information and the support from someone OTHER than my mom. (Frankly, the idea of getting nursing advice from my mother rather than a clinician makes me REALLY uncomfortable.)

Once again, I'll be in the corner dry heaving and sobbing uncontrollably.
(http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showpost.php?p=2122359&postcount=7)

[A.J.]

Or just learn to stick and move!

If only Apollo Creed had learned that.

http://www.filmsite.org/fotos/rocky2_7.jpg

[Freitag]

If only Apollo Creed had learned that.

http://www.filmsite.org/fotos/rocky2_7.jpg

AJ: What's your prediction for the childbirth?
Matty: My prediction?
AJ: Yes, your prediction.
[Matty looks into camera]
Matty: Pain!

[Thebazile78]

It's funny but most of it comes very naturally. You guys have probably been reading all the baby books out there so you're fine. ...

LOL, that would be a negatory. No baby books have ended up on our lists, except Baby Bargains, but that came recommended from a friend.

The same information is available online for free at a lot of reputable sites.

Although there's one I want to check out from the library ... once I get my library card.

[Misteriosa]

my job makes people go to parenting classes, but thats because the parents probably left their kids in a crack house while trying to get high or turning tricks, left them living in a filthy home with feces and no food, gave birth and the baby comes out with a positive tox screen, or something horrible like that. :down:

hopefully, you guys dont have these problems. you should be fine. :o

[Thebazile78]

my job makes people go to parenting classes, but thats because the parents probably left their kids in a crack house while trying to get high or turning tricks, left them living in a filthy home with feces and no food, gave birth and the baby comes out with a positive tox screen, or something horrible like that. :down:

hopefully, you guys dont have these problems. you should be fine. :o

Nope, no drugs or fetid living conditions around here, even with me being a lousy housekeeper. (I'm having more trouble getting around lately. This is what happens when you're 8.5 months pregnant.)

The trash gets taken out, bathrooms get cleaned and enough food is in the pantry & fridge most days that I can eat well without resorting to Cheetos.

The only reason I was suggesting parenting classes was to get Matty comfortable with the action of changing a diaper and maybe get his confidence up about other necessary things, like bathing Baby.

I may be the one who'll be home the most with Baby in the early days (I get paid maternity leave; he gets ... pretty much nothing) but if I'm the only one dealing with diapers and baby-related messes every day, I know that I will have a meltdown.

[topless_mike]

I may be the one who'll be home the most with Baby in the early days (I get paid maternity leave; he gets ... pretty much nothing) but if I'm the only one dealing with diapers and baby-related messes every day, I know that I will have a meltdown.

a shitty diaper or 100 shitty diapers is nothing compared to the feeling of holding your baby and realizing the miracle.

[Ritalin]

Nope, no drugs or fetid living conditions around here, even with me being a lousy housekeeper. (I'm having more trouble getting around lately. This is what happens when you're 8.5 months pregnant.)

The trash gets taken out, bathrooms get cleaned and enough food is in the pantry & fridge most days that I can eat well without resorting to Cheetos.

The only reason I was suggesting parenting classes was to get Matty comfortable with the action of changing a diaper and maybe get his confidence up about other necessary things, like bathing Baby.

I may be the one who'll be home the most with Baby in the early days (I get paid maternity leave; he gets ... pretty much nothing) but if I'm the only one dealing with diapers and baby-related messes every day, I know that I will have a meltdown.

You think that, but you're going to change, chick. Diapers and baby related messes won't even seem like anything. Literally. You just won't even mind doing it even a little.

Changing a diaper isn't that hard, certainly not the kind of thing you need a class for. And if the stink is too bad for him - although breastfed shit doesn't really smell much at all - then have him do what I do: pull his shirt up over his nose, bandit-o style.

I can tell you're really focused on bathing the baby, because you've mentioned it about 5 times. It's no big deal. YOU WON'T DROP THE BABY. Plus, for the first little bit, you're just sponge bathing anyway.

[ozzie]

We had a sponge-form thing for my sister until it got gross. I don't really remember it being much help because it wasn't a wedge shape or anything, so you always had to have a hand on the li'l bugger, and my sister was a squirmer.

Therefore, I am not counting on a non-squirmy baby.

http://www.kidsurplus.com/prod_images/03-KII-236-r.jpg

With all three of mine, I was a "tub cub" / bath sponge user. And, yes, you have to replace them after x number of uses, but to me, they're worth it.

I would get in the tub with my knees up, sponge on my lap, and have my chick bring the babies to me when they were newborn / infants.

We tried others, but with the sponge, you can partially submerge to keep it the same temp as the bath water, which seemed to help keep the babies body temp up, and keep them calmer and more comfortable.

It's a great way that Dads can help out just by sitting in the tub and bonding with their baby, which Dads don't always get a lot of time to do while they're breastfeeding.

My chick would usually take this time to relax, and I've been known to stretch a warm baby bath out for an hour.

Sure, there's an "accident" risk, so you probably don't want to take too long at first, but when they're 6 - 9 months, you can start taking longer ones.

We had a little bathtub thingie, but I was always afraid we'd have the water too hot/cold... which is why I first started this, to make sure I was in there first to check the temp, and then, yeah, also because of the squirm-fear. She felt better lowering him into my arms than into a tub, and then she'd come retreive him with a towel straight off the sponge.

And once they're on jar food or cereal, we started planning bath time for early evening, and going with the lavender soap. I'd feed them in the tub, and by the time they got out, they were full, warm, and all lavendered up and ready to start sleeping (almost) through the night.

Good luck.

[Thebazile78]

You think that, but you're going to change, chick. Diapers and baby related messes won't even seem like anything. Literally. You just won't even mind doing it even a little.

Changing a diaper isn't that hard, certainly not the kind of thing you need a class for. And if the stink is too bad for him - although breastfed shit doesn't really smell much at all - then have him do what I do: pull his shirt up over his nose, bandit-o style.

I can tell you're really focused on bathing the baby, because you've mentioned it about 5 times. It's no big deal. YOU WON'T DROP THE BABY. Plus, for the first little bit, you're just sponge bathing anyway.

The diapering is not a concern for me. I can diaper with my eyes shut. Disposables, cloth with pins, whatever. It's sharing the responsibility. It took both of us to get the Baby started; it's not fair if all the work falls to me. I know myself; I will feel put-upon if I perceive the tasks as something "always" falling to me. Trust me on this, dude.

And, yeah, my freakout this week is bath time. I have a different (usually irrational) freakout every week, so if you check in next week, it'll probably be something more insane.

[Ritalin]

The diapering is not a concern for me. I can diaper with my eyes shut. Disposables, cloth with pins, whatever. It's sharing the responsibility. It took both of us to get the Baby started; it's not fair if all the work falls to me. I know myself; I will feel put-upon if I perceive the tasks as something "always" falling to me. Trust me on this, dude.

And, yeah, my freakout this week is bath time. I have a different (usually irrational) freakout every week, so if you check in next week, it'll probably be something more insane.

Uh oh.

He's a dead man.

[topless_mike]

It's sharing the responsibility. It took both of us to get the Baby started; it's not fair if all the work falls to me. I know myself; I will feel put-upon if I perceive the tasks as something "always" falling to me. Trust me on this, dude.


its known as motherhood. it happens. matty seems like a nice enough fellow that this shouldnt be too much of an issue.

my wife is a stay at home mom. she was with the first one, and she will be with this one unless some bad shit happens. what i do to help out is that as soon as i get home from work, she's off duty. i do bath time with both of them. i make sure the little one eats (he eats later than the rest of us). i do story and snack time with the big one. since little is still breastfeeding, she has to feed him to put him asleep. (he always falls asleep on the breast).
for now, she gets up with him during the nite. (usually only 1x, around 5-6 am). when he switches over to bottle, i'll get up with him during the nite to feed him. (i dont require much sleep).

like every other couple, yoos guys will find what works for yoos and will be fine.
one thing i've learned from being a parent
a) dont be afraid to axe for help, especially from each other.
b) dont take anything personally. womenz hormones are a mess in the beginnings of new parenthood. you'll laugh, then start crying for no reason. you'll feel overwhelmed and lash out at matty for the silliest stupidest thing. he might retaliate back. its just hormones. by the time they settle down, baby fridays will be out of that baby blob stage and will be fun and somewhat interactive.

xoxo

[~Katja~]

Lamaze is communist propa... wait. Oops. My bad.

They actually recommended we take a childbirth class of some sort when we had our last prenatal visit. I have a booklet that's been supplemented with web videos and stuff that I can take a look at whenever I want ... I haven't made the time to do it yet. I've been really tired this week when I get home.

Yes, I plan on breastfeeding so at our next prenatal appointment, we'll be meeting with a lactation consultant, so there will be a lot of information from her for both of us to take in. I'm looking forward to the information and the support from someone OTHER than my mom. (Frankly, the idea of getting nursing advice from my mother rather than a clinician makes me REALLY uncomfortable.)


haha on the propaganda...lol the class I took was more of a child birth express class which was only two saturdays.
The lady that held it at the hospital was very nice and she did help get me an insight on the different meds they give and options for an epidural... she was not anti midwife doula either and the one thing I took from the class was different breathing rhythms to help through labor. Mine was long (into hospital at 4 am and had him at 4 PM) cause they stopped labor at 6 when they lost the heart rate and thought he might be in distress and I went without epi and mostly no pain meds until the last 2h where it was too late to get an epi. The progress was so slow after it set back in when the meds wore off they gave to stop labor. But the point was that the breathing was really helpful. It was able to tune out everybody around me and just do the breathing whenever I had contractions, it was very calming and helped feel less pain.

I am glad you have a lactation consultant. I did not have one and figured everything out myself by connecting with other nursing moms online... one thing I made sure of was to not let them give Lukas any sort of bottle while we were in the hospital and I requested to get the body contact within the first hour of his birth. They can actually sense what to do and where the food is... so right after he was cleaned up he got to lay on top of me for an hour.
We had a great pediatrician who did not force supplemental feeding on us when he was growing slower the first month. It's normal that they grow slower, their digestion is much different as well.
During the first weeks I did add a lot fenugreek and mothersmilk tea to my diet to establish a healthy supply for him. Later on I was freakin out for a bit when I thought I was not giving him enough, cause I knew another woman who was producing twice as much as me, but it really is a matter of demand, her kid would actually eat as much as she produced so basically everything worked perfectly well.

The one thing you will probably realize later in the process, as uncomfortable you are now talking about it, it will become such a natural part of who you are that most likely you won't have problems discussing it with anyone, even your mom... or on a messageboard like me :blink:

[~Katja~]

The diapering is not a concern for me. I can diaper with my eyes shut. Disposables, cloth with pins, whatever. It's sharing the responsibility. It took both of us to get the Baby started; it's not fair if all the work falls to me. I know myself; I will feel put-upon if I perceive the tasks as something "always" falling to me. Trust me on this, dude.

And, yeah, my freakout this week is bath time. I have a different (usually irrational) freakout every week, so if you check in next week, it'll probably be something more insane.
if you freak out now, just wait until the week of your due date... it will randomly hit you that this kid is about to be born and there is no way back... then you go through labor which seems freakin painful and irritating as the last month leading up to it and the moment you hold that kid, BOOM... what pain? what fear? it all doesn't exist anymore.

And I think Ritalin has a point. You think you know yourself now and have a plan on sharing responsibility and all... once that kid is there things change quickly and unexpectedly.
Sometimes a mom can't connect with the newborn and more responsibility falls on the father, but in most cases there is a very strong bond between mother and kid during that first year, and you become like a wolf mother, feeling like you are the only one who knows what's good or right for the kid...

[Ritalin]

All kidding aside, it seems to me just from reading what's he's posted about your pregnancy on this board that Matty will pull his weight. He sounds like he really cares.

Breastfeeding tips - from the man who's wife is still pumping at work at 14 months - don't let them give your kid a bottle at the hospital if you can help it. Drink lots of water.

I'll tell you what happened when my wife first tried to nurse Miles. He just laid there, wouldn't take anything. The nurse came in for something else, I don't remember why, and she said, "oh no, he's much too comfortable" and unwrapped his swaddling blanket. He kinda woke up a little bit and got to business.

[Thebazile78]

if you freak out now, just wait until the week of your due date... it will randomly hit you that this kid is about to be born and there is no way back... then you go through labor which seems freakin painful and irritating as the last month leading up to it and the moment you hold that kid, BOOM... what pain? what fear? it all doesn't exist anymore.

The things I'm freaking out about are totally random. Oddly enough, childbirth is not one of them. (My sister, on the other hand, flipped out about the thought of labor. She tensed up from her due-date until she was able to hold her son for the first time. Three hours after her unplanned C-section.)

Most days, I can do a self-slap and get myself out before it becomes a full-blown panic.

Other days, it's like when I wanted to update the baby registry and the website wouldn't let me log in ... I freaked out like it was THE most important thing in the world to log in to that registry at that EXACT instant and I wouldn't calm down until I got in.

Those are the freakout days Matty dreads. I don't blame him one bit.

And I think Ritalin has a point. You think you know yourself now and have a plan on sharing responsibility and all... once that kid is there things change quickly and unexpectedly.
Sometimes a mom can't connect with the newborn and more responsibility falls on the father, but in most cases there is a very strong bond between mother and kid during that first year, and you become like a wolf mother, feeling like you are the only one who knows what's good or right for the kid...

He does have a point, and I'm not trying to deny it, but even now, with it getting harder and harder to get around or stay comfortable, if I perceive my responsibilities as being greater than Matt's I flip. Maybe that's a bit of a control thing and, yeah, I'll let a lot of it go I'm sure.

I am already over-protective of this kid and I've got another 4.5 weeks 'til my due date.

I will threaten to fight anyone who makes me uncomfortable and have no problem telling anybody to f- off. I think I'm good on the "mama wolf" or "mama bear" thing.

All kidding aside, it seems to me just from reading what's he's posted about your pregnancy on this board that Matty will pull his weight. He sounds like he really cares.

Breastfeeding tips - from the man who's wife is still pumping at work at 14 months - don't let them give your kid a bottle at the hospital if you can help it. Drink lots of water.

I'll tell you what happened when my wife first tried to nurse Miles. He just laid there, wouldn't take anything. The nurse came in for something else, I don't remember why, and she said, "oh no, he's much too comfortable" and unwrapped his swaddling blanket. He kinda woke up a little bit and got to business.

Matty is a good skate, despite his tendency to flame folks out around here. I trust him to pull his weight just as he trusts me to beat the living snot out of him if he doesn't. I can also call his SIL to come over and kick his butt for me.

The lactation consultant is a specially trained nurse who helps you work through breastfeeding issues. Our hospital has one of the best LC's in the USA, which is something I am very grateful for. (My sister didn't get a lot of support at her hospital so she ended up formula feeding her son, which wasn't part of her plan.)

[Thebazile78]

p.s. - I wasn't kidding about Lamaze being propaganda:

http://www.doublex.com/section/life/lamaze-makes-childbirth-painless-kick-balls

[topless_mike]

The lactation consultant is a specially trained nurse who helps you work through breastfeeding issues. Our hospital has one of the best LC's in the USA, which is something I am very grateful for. (My sister didn't get a lot of support at her hospital so she ended up formula feeding her son, which wasn't part of her plan.)

this jogged a memory for me. with our first kid, he was having a hard time latching on.
lavi was buggin out. the lactation consultant walked in, grabbed my wife's breast, and shoved it in the kids mouth. from that point on, there were no more problems.
it may have been due to the colostrum, which is uber-thick. probably not fun for a newborn.

[Jujubees2]

p.s. - I wasn't kidding about Lamaze being propaganda:

http://www.doublex.com/section/life/lamaze-makes-childbirth-painless-kick-balls

Despite taking the class, my wife still received some type of sedative (the name escapes me) when giving birth to our first. She had to be induced since she was two weeks past her due date (and never felt any type of contraction). The induction took the better part of two days and she was exhausted. In the hours before our son was born, the medication caused her to go into a relaxed state between contractions and then awake during the contraction. It was weird because between contractions her eyes would be partially open and I would be talking to her but she just had a blank look until the next contraction came.

With the second one, it was quick. She came home from her last day of work feeling like she was going into labor and about six hours later she gave birth. We probably used a little more of the breathing exercises with the second delivery and she used a midwife with both.

[topless_mike]

Despite taking the class, my wife still received some type of sedative (the name escapes me) when giving birth to our first. She had to be induced since she was two weeks past her due date (and never felt any type of contraction). The induction took the better part of two days and she was exhausted. In the hours before our son was born, the medication caused her to go into a relaxed state between contractions and then awake during the contraction. It was weird because between contractions her eyes would be partially open and I would be talking to her but she just had a blank look until the next contraction came.

With the second one, it was quick. She came home from her last day of work feeling like she was going into labor and about six hours later she gave birth. We probably used a little more of the breathing exercises with the second delivery and she used a midwife with both.

our first was 8 hours in hosp, doc gave her the juice, and 2 hours later- kid slides out
our second was from water break to birth- 45 min.

[jennysmurf]

http://www.kidsurplus.com/prod_images/03-KII-236-r.jpg

With all three of mine, I was a "tub cub" / bath sponge user. And, yes, you have to replace them after x number of uses, but to me, they're worth it.

I would get in the tub with my knees up, sponge on my lap, and have my chick bring the babies to me when they were newborn / infants.

We tried others, but with the sponge, you can partially submerge to keep it the same temp as the bath water, which seemed to help keep the babies body temp up, and keep them calmer and more comfortable.

It's a great way that Dads can help out just by sitting in the tub and bonding with their baby, which Dads don't always get a lot of time to do while they're breastfeeding.

My chick would usually take this time to relax, and I've been known to stretch a warm baby bath out for an hour.

Sure, there's an "accident" risk, so you probably don't want to take too long at first, but when they're 6 - 9 months, you can start taking longer ones.

We had a little bathtub thingie, but I was always afraid we'd have the water too hot/cold... which is why I first started this, to make sure I was in there first to check the temp, and then, yeah, also because of the squirm-fear. She felt better lowering him into my arms than into a tub, and then she'd come retreive him with a towel straight off the sponge.

And once they're on jar food or cereal, we started planning bath time for early evening, and going with the lavender soap. I'd feed them in the tub, and by the time they got out, they were full, warm, and all lavendered up and ready to start sleeping (almost) through the night.

Good luck.

This is an AWESOME idea! Way nicer than bending over a baby bathtub. Way to go ozzie!

[sailor]

For the first 9 months or so, I would shower with our son. He thought the shower was the coolest thing ever.

[~Katja~]

this jogged a memory for me. with our first kid, he was having a hard time latching on.
lavi was buggin out. the lactation consultant walked in, grabbed my wife's breast, and shoved it in the kids mouth. from that point on, there were no more problems.
it may have been due to the colostrum, which is uber-thick. probably not fun for a newborn.
I didn't have any problems about the latching, but since I had gotten stadol in my IV just the last 2 h before he was born he was very drowsy and after that first feeding he slept and slept. I had been told he needed to eat every 2h and he was not waking up. I gave up and then the nurse came and tried to wake him in the worst way... she turned him upside down, used a wet cloth on his back, anything just to wake him up. well he wasn't having any of that. At the time I thought I had to feed him or he would get sick but in hindsight I realized he probably was just as drugged up from the stadol as I was... and 12h labor is no joke for the kid either, so he was just really really tired. But I also did not let them take him to the nursery for the night, I was worried they would give him a bottle if I was asleep and he was hungry and I did not want that to happen under any circumstance.

[ozzie]

This is an AWESOME idea! Way nicer than bending over a baby bathtub. Way to go ozzie!

Me and our youngest at 3.5 months old...

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[jennysmurf]

Me and our youngest at 3.5 months old...

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:wub: