Ask JoeTheBartender

[Hottub]

I call this guy more than my mom.
I ask a question aboot 1 thing, I get answers to 3 more.

Later Oracle.
Horde King who?

What'cha got for the new mentor?

[Hottub]

Dear Joe,
Matt from Long Island needs corned beef advice.

Thanks,
Tub.

[zildjian361]

Dear Joe,
Matt from Long Island needs corned beef advice.

Thanks,
Tub.

Cabbage Johnny :lol:Bar night my Brother?:help:

[Bellyfullasnot]

Hey JoeTheBartender, are you still driving a limo once in awhile? The company I work for is a little slow and I was wondering how things were on the other side of the river.

[A.J.]

Can we get the cigar room at Tommy Fox's?

[weekapaugjz]

hey joe,

what in your opinion is the best whiskey for a manhattan? i friend and i were debating it the other night. he tried to claim it was southern comfort. i tried not to throw up.

cheers,
jz

[Bellyfullasnot]

Hey JoeTheBartender, how come Billy Joel didn't sing about you in the "Piano Man"? Was it because you wouldn't bring him his drinks for free?

[TripleSkeet]

hey joe,

what in your opinion is the best whiskey for a manhattan? i friend and i were debating it the other night. he tried to claim it was southern comfort. i tried not to throw up.

cheers,
jz

If youre going high end Id say Black Maple Hill. For regular off the shelf go with Wild Turkey.

[ChetB]

Hey JoeTheBartender, where you going with that gun in your hand?
Aren't you really just Sam Malone in a cheap suit?

[Marc with a c]

joe stinks at this.

[RADIO-SHARK]

Dear Joey...who repairs roofs cheaply???:help:

[disneyspy]

joe stinks at this.

<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px;"><embed src="http://media.entertonement.com/embed/OpenEntPlayer.swf" id="1_da20722e_2f0e_11df_8c6d_0019b9e56dac" name="1_da20722e_2f0e_11df_8c6d_0019b9e56dac" flashvars="auto_play=false&clip_pid=dcdyvtfszn&e=&id=1_da20722e_2f0e_11df_8c6d_0019b9e56dac&skin_pid=wfxswdnlkf" width="300" height="30" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent"></embed><div id="1_da20722e_2f0e_11df_8c6d_0019b9e56dac_anchor" style="font-size: 8px; color: black; text-decoration: none; display: block; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.entertonement.com/clips/dcdyvtfszn--16" style="font-size: 8px; color: black;" target="_blank">I'm a bartender sound bite</a> &nbsp;<a href="http://www.entertonement.com/collections/76911/Jersey-Shore?ht_link=1_da20722e_2f0e_11df_8c6d_0019b9e56d ac" style="font-size: 8px; color: black;" target="_blank">Jersey Shore sound bites</a></div><img alt="I'm a bartender sound bite" border="0" height="0" src="http://www.entertonement.com/widgets/img/clip/dcdyvtfszn/1/1_da20722e_2f0e_11df_8c6d_0019b9e56dac/blank.gif" style="visibility: hidden; width: 0px; height: 0px; margin:0; padding:0; float:right" width="0" /></div>

[Hottub]

Where should I go to get a few hot and cold trays for 25-30 people? Not a ton as I will be grilling on my new grill, Just a pasta, chicken and meat trays.

[opie's twisted balls]

Costco

When should I be expecting my invite?

[Hottub]

Costco

When should I be expecting my invite?

Dude, if you are willing to drive a thousand miles or 3268 Km (or whatever the fucking equivilent is)...

You are IN!!!

[joethebartender]

Where should I go to get a few hot and cold trays for 25-30 people? Not a ton as I will be grilling on my new grill, Just a pasta, chicken and meat trays.

How could I have missed this thread? Sorry folks.

Call Phil at Angelina's in Hackensack.

(If that doesn't work out for you definately check out that Fairway in the fashion center mall. I've ordered from there twice for small events and the food was great. Prices too.)

[joethebartender]

hey joe,

what in your opinion is the best whiskey for a manhattan? i friend and i were debating it the other night. he tried to claim it was southern comfort. i tried not to throw up.

cheers,
jz

My personal favorite cocktail is a Maker's Mark manhattan. (I rarely drink spirits but when I do this one's my fave)

[Hottub]

How could I have missed this thread? Sorry folks.

Call Phil at Angelina's in Hackensack.

The one by the Hack Elks? I know it. Good food.
Thanks.


Now answer the other people's questions, slacker!

[joethebartender]

joe stinks at this.

I concur.

[joethebartender]

Dear Joey...who repairs roofs cheaply???:help:

I got a guy for that. If I run into him I'll ask. (Let's just say "he's not in the Yellow Pages".)
He really, reeeeealllly likes horse racing.

[joethebartender]

The one by the Hack Elks? I know it. Good food.
Thanks.


Now answer the other people's questions, slacker!


u missed my edit;
(If that doesn't work out for you definately check out that Fairway in the fashion center mall. I've ordered from there twice for small events and the food was great. Prices too.)

[joethebartender]

Hey JoeTheBartender, where you going with that gun in your hand?
Aren't you really just Sam Malone in a cheap suit?

Your father owed me money.
Sam Malone's a douche and don't question my fashion sense.

[joethebartender]

Hey JoeTheBartender, how come Billy Joel didn't sing about you in the "Piano Man"? Was it because you wouldn't bring him his drinks for free?

No. "John at the bar" used to suck him off.

[joethebartender]

Can we get the cigar room at Tommy Fox's?

Done. See you on the 24th.

[joethebartender]

Dear Joe,
Matt from Long Island needs corned beef advice.

Thanks,
Tub.

Put the brisket, a bay leaf, the corning spice packet, two beers, and a little water into a slowcooker/crockpot. Put the cover on, set it on low and go to sleep. That shit will be ready in the morning.

[joethebartender]

Hey JoeTheBartender, are you still driving a limo once in awhile? The company I work for is a little slow and I was wondering how things were on the other side of the river.

We're slow too. (and stoners still wanna "hot box" my stretch. Animals don't know how to open a fucking window).

[Hottub]

Dear Joe,
Why does my chick buy, and hang right on THE FUCKING OVEN DOOR, towels that I cannot use.
The perfect place to hang a towel while cooking, no? If I even spill a drop on them while preparing a meal, I catch shit.

Is there an answer, or is it just a woman thing.

[joethebartender]

Dear Joe,
Why does my chick buy, and hang right on THE FUCKING OVEN DOOR, towels that I cannot use.
The perfect place to hang a towel while cooking, no? If I even spill a drop on them while preparing a meal, I catch shit.

Is there an answer, or is it just a woman thing.

I had the same problem. The towels used to change with the seasons; Christmas towels, pastel colored ones for summer, etc.

Here's the fix:

1) run some hot water over the palm of your hand (get it pretty red)
2) put some sauce or mustard on your hand and yell loudly while grabbing your hand to fake a burn.
3) grab said towel and wrap your hand in it like it was the only thing available and start to run it under water.
4) When your wife comes in and sees you wincing in pain, immediately apologize for ruining her "good" towel. Show her the stain from the sauce or whatever.
5) towel is now yours.
6) In confession later that week... tell the priest that you haven't been truthful with a loved one and want to ask God's forgiveness.

[Hottub]

I had the same problem. The towels used to change with the seasons; Christmas towels, pastel colored ones for summer, etc.

Here's the fix:

1) run some hot water over the palm of your hand (get it pretty red)
2) put some sauce or mustard on your hand and yell loudly while grabbing your hand to fake a burn.
3) grab said towel and wrap your hand in it like it was the only thing available and start to run it under water.
4) When your wife comes in and sees you wincing in pain, immediately apologize for ruining her "good" towel. Show her the stain from the sauce or whatever.
5) towel is now yours.
6) In confession later that week... tell the priest that you haven't been truthful with a loved one and want to ask God's forgiveness.

:lol:

I told you this guy was good!

All of you's not asking are missing pearls, my friends. Pearls of wisdom!!!

[RADIO-SHARK]

I got a guy for that. If I run into him I'll ask. (Let's just say "he's not in the Yellow Pages".)
He really, reeeeealllly likes horse racing.


too late Joey....I fixed it myself.

[joethebartender]

too late Joey....I fixed it myself.

Sorry, Shark.

[Jughead]

Joe....... Should I feel bad If I'm making money on a car deal with the DUDE being the negotiator and the wife likes me???? But she is showing me her cleavage ....Like picking shit up on the floor and stuff??? Leaning over to check out the console shit like that!!!!....Just a reference point I made 500 bucks...Juggy

[Jughead]

Im sorry I was trying to hard:smile:

[Hottub]

Joe....... Should I feel bad If I'm making money on a car deal with the DUDE being the negotiator and the wife likes me???? But she is showing me her cleavage ....Like picking shit up on the floor and stuff??? Leaning over to check out the console shit like that!!!!....Just a reference point I made 500 bucks...Juggy

I feel bad for you, Jug.

http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2009/4/1/633742022545348960-cougar.jpg

[opie's twisted balls]

Dude, if you are willing to drive a thousand miles or 3268 Km (or whatever the fucking equivilent is)...

You are IN!!!
If you can wait till September I'm attending a conference in Princeton. ;)


I had the same problem. The towels used to change with the seasons; Christmas towels, pastel colored ones for summer, etc.

Here's the fix:

1) run some hot water over the palm of your hand (get it pretty red)
2) put some sauce or mustard on your hand and yell loudly while grabbing your hand to fake a burn.
3) grab said towel and wrap your hand in it like it was the only thing available and start to run it under water.
4) When your wife comes in and sees you wincing in pain, immediately apologize for ruining her "good" towel. Show her the stain from the sauce or whatever.
5) towel is now yours.
6) In confession later that week... tell the priest that you haven't been truthful with a loved one and want to ask God's forgiveness.
Or......

Go into the kitchen commando, take the towel, pass it between your legs and then move it back and forth across your balls & taint briskly as though you were trying to achieve a high gloss finish.

[Hottub]

If you can wait till September I'm attending a conference in Princeton. ;)



Or......

Go into the kitchen commando, take the towel, pass it between your legs and then move it back and forth across your balls & taint briskly as though you were trying to achieve a high gloss finish.

I'll hold a Bar Night in Sept if you are willing to over drink for us.

[opie's twisted balls]

I'll hold a Bar Night in Sept if you are willing to over drink for us.
I'm willing to over drink for anyone

[Hottub]

I'm willing to over drink for anyone

Even these fags?

http://www.ronfez.net/gallery//watermark.php?file=4498&size=1

[joethebartender]

Joe....... Should I feel bad If I'm making money on a car deal with the DUDE being the negotiator and the wife likes me???? But she is showing me her cleavage ....Like picking shit up on the floor and stuff??? Leaning over to check out the console shit like that!!!!....Just a reference point I made 500 bucks...Juggy

Jug, don't let your conscience bother u for anything less than 2 grand. (And enjoy the show)

[weekapaugjz]

Even these fags?

http://www.ronfez.net/gallery//watermark.php?file=4498&size=1

i've never seen a picture of OTB, but i'm guessing he'd be the prettiest one of the bunch.

[opie's twisted balls]

Even these fags?

http://www.ronfez.net/gallery//watermark.php?file=4498&size=1
The one on the right looks kind of dodgy.


i've never seen a picture of OTB, but i'm guessing he'd be the prettiest one of the bunch.
You trying to sweet talk me?

[Hottub]

The one on the right looks kind of dodgy.




Tub, Jersey Rich, RADIO SHARK, snoogans.

Queers. The lot of 'em!!

[weekapaugjz]

joe,

when cooking a steak, would you ever flip it more than once?

thanks,
jz

[joethebartender]

joe,

when cooking a steak, would you ever flip it more than once?

thanks,
jz
Not really. Depends on the cut and thickness of the steak. I usually sear the steak over very hot coals or in a very hot skillet, once per side. (Then I let it finish on the unlit side of the grill with the lid on, or by placing the skillet in the oven.)

I did recently, read an article about flipping burgers more than once and they came out just as good as the ones that were only flipped once. But I think steak only needs one turn. (Will post when I get on my home comp).

[joethebartender]

Here's the note on burgers... steaks... I'll stick to one flip.
7. Flip Your Burger as Often as You'd Like


An oft-flipped burger cooks more evenly.

How many times have you read that you should only flip your burgers once while they are cooking? Well forget about it! We recently proved that the nervous flippers are actually right. Flipping your burger repeatedly (as often as once every 15 seconds) encourages faster, more even internal cooking, shaving off as much as 1/3 of your grill time.

In the end, the difference is not particularly great, so there's no need to go crazy. Who wants to—or can—flip a grillful of burgers constantly? But next time you come across one of those backyard grill-nazis (you know the type) who absolutely insists that one flip is the way to go, just smile, nod, and let him cook the way he wants to. Rule one of grilling is never question the guy with the spatula.

But do make sure to quietly revel in your superior knowledge and maybe make fun of him behind his back.

[Bellyfullasnot]

I'm going to be driving a limo into The People's Republic of Westchester County today. Will I be stopped at the border? Will I be allowed one phone call? Help me Obi-Wan, help me.

[joethebartender]

I'm going to be driving a limo into The People's Republic of Westchester County today. Will I be stopped at the border? Will I be allowed one phone call? Help me Obi-Wan, help me.

Are you going to that airport in White Plains???
Pack a lunch man, there's nothing around there for miles.
Oh, and don't worry about what terminal you're going to. (there's only one... "the terminal") The whole place is the size of a decent college gym.

Don't exchange money at the local banks either. Make sure you arrive at the border with some Westchester $. It might smooth out your trip.

Godspeed, BFOS!