Marquito and I are playing the ICE Newlywed Game on 8/23

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

We have wedding and post-celebratory pics, movie stubs, soccer match tickets (GO RED BULLS!!) and future concert tix.

He JUST got his NEW work visa in the mail a week ago (HE IS HERE LEGALLY AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN!!). We didn't realize he could have applied for his new social security number when he had his picture and finger prints taken with ICE on June 2. We have a lawyer. They gave us lousy info.

We are always quizzing each other. Today we got a MAJOR answer WRONG-- I thought he came here January 18, 2005. He came here January 18, 2008. That's a HUGE mistake!!! Now we are both scared out of our minds.

We know each others favorite foods, bands, songs. And... STUFF!

Should I know his dad's middle name? It's Vinicio. VINICIO!!! I know the birth years of his siblings, I haven't met his family. It's complicated-- his mom has health issues and his oldest sister is in Arizona.

So, I love this man with all my heart. Any advice for the 23rd will be VERY APPRECIATED!!

[A.J.]

Don't be shy about sharing when you make whoopee!

[Freitag]

Mansquito?

[Hottub]

Don't be shy about sharing when you make whoopee!

"That would have to be in da butt, Bob".

:ohmy:

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Actually, the appointment was on Thursday the 19th and... WE PASSED!!!

The ICE officer was very nice and friendly. The interview was kind of "light"; we joked a bit.

He asked the usual

How did you meet?
When did your husband arrive in this country?
Where was your husband living when you met? Did he have roommates?
Where do you work?
Do you have a joint bank account?

He looked at our pictures (the pics of cats in silly hats made him laugh).

Then he asked Marco the serious questions:

Have you been convicted of a crime?
Have you had problems with drugs or alcohol?
Have you ever tried to bring persons into the country illegally
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE COMMUNIST PARTY (that one threw us both off. Is that even an issue anymore?)
and, off course,
Are you affiliated with any terrorist organization?

Then he said he'd approve our application and congratulated us. I think it took all of 10 minutes!! We need to "re-up" with them in a year and 9 months.

I'm still decompressing. We "studied" each other for months. I still find my mind wondering to, "Ok, he has a scar over his right eye, he sleeps on the right side of the bed, his favorite band is U2..."

One thing accomplished! Now I need a God Damn Job! :tongue:

[JPMNICK]

Actually, the appointment was on Thursday the 19th and... WE PASSED!!!

The ICE officer was very nice and friendly. The interview was kind of "light"; we joked a bit.

He asked the usual

How did you meet?
When did your husband arrive in this country?
Where was your husband living when you met? Did he have roommates?
Where do you work?
Do you have a joint bank account?

He looked at our pictures (the pics of cats in silly hats made him laugh).

Then he asked Marco the serious questions:

Have you been convicted of a crime?
Have you had problems with drugs or alcohol?
Have you ever tried to bring persons into the country illegally
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE COMMUNIST PARTY (that one threw us both off. Is that even an issue anymore?)
and, off course,
Are you affiliated with any terrorist organization?

Then he said he'd approve our application and congratulated us. I think it took all of 10 minutes!! We need to "re-up" with them in a year and 9 months.

I'm still decompressing. We "studied" each other for months. I still find my mind wondering to, "Ok, he has a scar over his right eye, he sleeps on the right side of the bed, his favorite band is U2..."

One thing accomplished! Now I need a God Damn Job! :tongue:

great news, congrats to you both

[A.J.]

That's great news Petrina!

[Crossweird]

Congrats, Fuzz. Next up: Win, Lose, or Draw.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

And this morning he announced he's leaving me.


WTF!?!?

[RoseBlood]

And this morning he announced he's leaving me.


WTF!?!?

omg! wtf?!?!? is right! I'm so sorry Fuzzy :sad:

[A.J.]

And this morning he announced he's leaving me.


WTF!?!?

WHAT???

[Furtherman]

Oh no.

[Misteriosa]

And this morning he announced he's leaving me.


WTF!?!?

what the hell?!?! did he say how he came to this decision? if he does leave, see if you can report his ass. fuck that. tell INS!! (or ICE as it seems to be called) hold those papers over his head!!

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

The last two months have been difficult- I lost my job and we had to deal with this immigration interview. He actually made us practice sample questions every night for two weeks before the interview. I am SO PISSED at him for putting me through the immigration process for months... all for shite!

Oh, believe me, I am withdrawing my spousal sponsorship.

The few days after the interview were hell. All we did was fight. Then he announced he didn't want to live with me anymore. He deserved better than me and he'd rather go back to Ecuador than be married to me.


WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?

Yet, he wants me "out of friendship" to let him stay in my apartment!! He actually expected to sleep in MY bed (sure hope that floor is comfortable)! I'm FUCKED because I still don't have a job OR insurance (I'm on HIS insurance) so I need to be nice. Oh, did I mention he called me lazy and said I didn't want to work? I have a folder with over 50 application confirmations and copies of various retail store applications. He's just pissed I won't work at a warehouse or factory for $8/hour.

PoS-- last week I asked him why he wasn't putting his pay check into our joint account he said, "Why should I? It's my money?!" He hasn't given me a dime towards our expenses since we got married. His attitude was, "Well, you'd be paying these bills by yourself if I didn't live here!" WTF?!?!?

[Misteriosa]

withdraw that sponsorship and apply for medicaid. (im assuming youre on unemployment, so that helps the process along) and F him. you can start going through eviction applications if he's not on the lease (im assuming he's been living there over 30 consecutive days). throw his ass out. no way in fuck youre gonna be living in MY house that I pay for and try to abuse MY citizenship status and not pay me a dime. FUCK THAT.

[Contra]

Holy hell! Wow I'm so sorry to see things turned out this way. What a dick. On the bright side at least he showed his true colors before you two actually married. I hope thing turn for the better.

[Misteriosa]

Holy hell! Wow I'm so sorry to see things turned out this way. What a dick. On the bright side at least he showed his true colors before you two actually married. I hope thing turn for the better.

i think they got a city hall marriage.

He'd rather be in ecuador than married to you?!?! THEN GIVE HIM HIS WISH!

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Actually, we ARE married. He announced he was leaving the day after our 5-month wedding anniversary. I'm seeking an annulment.

Oh-- I can't apply for medicaid-- I have too much in savings (Which he will not see a dime of!).

[Misteriosa]

Actually, we ARE married. He announced he was leaving the day after our 5-month wedding anniversary. I'm seeking an annulment.

Oh-- I can't apply for medicaid-- I have too much in savings (Which he will not see a dime of!).

do you have a relative you trust completely? make "an account" in their name but keep the debit card, etc. thats what we did for my grandmother. offically, i have tens of thousands of dollars. :rolleyes:

[Crossweird]

Actually, we ARE married. He announced he was leaving the day after our 5-month wedding anniversary. I'm seeking an annulment.

Oh-- I can't apply for medicaid-- I have too much in savings (Which he will not see a dime of!).

He should look up the definition of "leaving".

[Kevin]

Report his ass.

Not even weeks after the interview?

If you need back up just print the stuff you wrote here that shows you thought this was an actual marriage.

Maybe have jon verify it that its real since he owns the site..

It has a timeline and everything.

He won't be going anyhwere but jail.

[Misteriosa]

actually, call the INS worker that interviewed you. tell him that marquito tricked you and waited until a few days after the interview to tell you his true intentions. you went into this thinking you found a husband and friend for life. he went in solely seeking his green card.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

He's insane-- his b-day is 9/17 so I bought him Shakira tickets (months ago obviously). He just sent me a text msg telling he still wants to go to the concert with me.


WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?

[A.J.]

He's insane-- his b-day is 9/17 so I bought him Shakira tickets (months ago obviously). He just sent me a text msg telling he still wants to go to the concert with me.


WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?

He probably needs a ride.

I'm so sorry this has happened.

[Misteriosa]

He's insane-- his b-day is 9/17 so I bought him Shakira tickets (months ago obviously). He just sent me a text msg telling he still wants to go to the concert with me.


WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?

maybe he told someone what he did and they told him that the process isnt over yet. maybe he's trying to make amends until he gets the card in his hands. :annoyed:

[Furtherman]

Very sorry to hear this Alice.

[Contra]

i think they got a city hall marriage.

He'd rather be in ecuador than married to you?!?! THEN GIVE HIM HIS WISH!

Oooh Yeah forgot about that, still though good it's out in the open now and not years later.

[TheGameHHH]

I gotta be honest here, but this all reeks of him not wanting to ever be with you in the first place and just using you for immigration. The concert tickets just confirms this type of sociopathic behavior.

[Kevin]

I gotta be honest here, but this all reeks of him not wanting to ever be with you in the first place and just using you for immigration. The concert tickets just confirms this type of sociopathic behavior.



Yea I agree..

Red flags everywhere.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Well, thanks for the support guys. If you need me I'll be in bed eating a pint of ice cream. :sad:

[spoon]

He's insane-- his b-day is 9/17 so I bought him Shakira tickets (months ago obviously). He just sent me a text msg telling he still wants to go to the concert with me.


WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?

ooof, not only is he using you for citizenship...HE'S GAY TOO! :wallbash:

[RudeGrrl]

WTF? I am so, so, sorry, girl. That's despicable. There isn't much that's less honorable than that. What an fucking asshole. When karma catches up with him it's going to be excruciating.

I agree with everyone else here--notify the immigration people immediately. And I realize the insurance thing is a big issue, but maybe you're best off throwing him out and severing ties to him as soon as possible, even if it means not having insurance. I don't know if I could handle having him still living in my house, if it were me. He doesn't deserve the courtesy.

And scalp those Shakira tix--I'm sure you can break even, at the very least.

[Jujubees2]

Well, thanks for the support guys. If you need me I'll be in bed eating a pint of ice cream. :sad:

So sorry Alice. Only a pint? Go for the half gallon :blink:

[Crispy123]

Im sorry to here this Fuzzy.

Maybe with all the troubles you guys were having in the ICE department he was set on going back to SA anyways and since this last time it went well maybe the reality of staying in this country started fucking with his head.

Its still a dick move on his part, just trying to see the other side of things.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

We are trying again. All Marco wants is for me to be happy and supportive. I was none of that in the last two months, I was a cunt. He gave up on me. ALL he wants for me is to be happy and to be supportive of him.

We are ok for now. We take it a day at a time.

He works HARD!! He has a part-time job at a warehouse on his days off. He also works three 12-hour shifts at his "regular job." And he's studying for his GED. And he's taking a truck-driving course on the weekends so he can get out of the job he is in now.

All he asks for is for my love and support. THat is all.

[Kevin]

Wow..

Seriously?

[StanUpshaw]

Forget him. Just wash that ring of yours down the drown and move on!

[Snoogans]

Glad you worked things out fuzzy. hope things go smooth here on out

[PapaBear]

Glad you worked things out fuzzy. hope things go smooth here on out
This.

[spoon]

wow fuzzy I'm not so sure on this

I wish you the best, but be careful. This is so up and down is scary from afar. You realize the possible reasoning for this change of heart might not be genuine I hope. Only you can evaluate this effectively, so try to see it for what it is and don't let your heart cloud your ultimate decision here.

good luck

[KatPw]

Alice, please get couples counseling or at the very least counseling for yourself. This whole thing has my spidey sense tingling like you don't believe. You are blaming yourself for things and to me that sounds like you are the victim of psychological abuse instead of a in loving relationship.
And please please please don't get pregnant until everything in your relationship is solid, stable, and loving.

[Sinestro]

Don't trust that motherfucker. Don't blame yourself. Don't let him placate and justify his actions. And don't defend his actions by minimizing and rationalizing what he did to you. That's fucked up.

[A.J.]

I don't like this. He wants for YOU to be happy and to be supportive of HIM.

What does he want for YOU?

And why is he pointing out how hard HE works? Is that to show you that you're not doing the same?

Please be careful.

[Jayw]

Not to be a dick but because I have;t read every single post. But dont let this dude break your heart. Its seems like he has already shown his true colors by thinking he could take off with no consequences after getting citensenship.

Look for more signs. This guy seems like he found a good person he can manipulate.
\

You are the one with the good heart ext for even considering go to the concert with him. But the shit this guy does and says seems like he doesn't feel the same.

The way that he won't "spend" his money on you is a direct red flag. You should be working on a life beuilt together.

If you don't close the door he will consider it open and will continue to manipulate. I mean he left you WITHOUT a place to stay. I mean thats worse then cheating almost he just wanted OUT, and you were nice enough to let him sleep at your place. He sees these weakness and pounces.

I do wish you luck and sorry if my facts weren't right.

[Contra]

Best of luck petrina, carefulness definitely fourth-ded, but I'm glad things are ok for ya.

[Dude!]

i can't wait until wrestlingfan
finds this thread

[Jayw]

i can't wait until wrestlingfan
finds this thread

Congrats you get the line of the day!

[Kevin]

i can't wait until wrestlingfan
finds this thread



I gotta give you this one..

That was pretty fucking funny..

[Tenbatsuzen]

And please please please don't get pregnant until everything in your relationship is solid, stable, and loving.

someone is not very familiar with fuzzy

[Tenbatsuzen]

PoS-- last week I asked him why he wasn't putting his pay check into our joint account he said, "Why should I? It's my money?!" He hasn't given me a dime towards our expenses since we got married. His attitude was, "Well, you'd be paying these bills by yourself if I didn't live here!" WTF?!?!?

I know hindsight is 20/20, but one counseling thing the both of you can do is set up a financial plan to see how money is distributed.

Liz and I went over all of our bills, and most everything we pay separately. She pays her student loans and credit cards on her own, I pay my own credit cards, etc. The things we do have a joint account is for bills we use together - cable, gas, electric, mortgage.

Her money is hers, my money is mine. Sometimes she pays for dinner, sometimes I pay for dinner. But we have a set amount we pool together every month for the joint account.

[Melk]

We are trying again. All Marco wants is for me to be happy and supportive. I was none of that in the last two months, I was a cunt. He gave up on me. ALL he wants for me is to be happy and to be supportive of him.
The recent developments of your relationship with Marco have probably steered the majority of us RF.net posters against him. If you truly believe he isn't out of line with his planning to leave you, I fully support your decision. In the future, let the emotional response from your arguments with Marco settle before you post them. Your previous posts make it difficult to judge Marco as anything but an opportunist dead set on using you to get a visa and running away.

But I still support your reconsiling with Marco.

[Tenbatsuzen]

The recent developments of your relationship with Marco have probably steered the majority of us RF.net posters against him. If you truly believe he isn't out of line with his planning to leave you, I fully support your decision. In the future, let the emotional response from your arguments with Marco settle before you post them. Your previous posts make it difficult to judge Marco as anything but an opportunist dead set on using you to get a visa and running away.

But I still support your reconsiling with Marco.

this

[Misteriosa]

this

i concur. well said, melk.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

The recent developments of your relationship with Marco have probably steered the majority of us RF.net posters against him. If you truly believe he isn't out of line with his planning to leave you, I fully support your decision. In the future, let the emotional response from your arguments with Marco settle before you post them. Your previous posts make it difficult to judge Marco as anything but an opportunist dead set on using you to get a visa and running away.

But I still support your reconsiling with Marco.

Thanks for your support Melk (and everybody). I apologize for jumping the gun on the end of our relationship but he was so serious and started looking for an apartment. I just needed to vent; especially after all that we had been through.

I'm not stupid. I still have my doubts in the back of my mind. I also contacted our immigration attorney. I told him I may need to withdraw my spousal sponsorship-- not now but maybe later. He was very surprised, but he told me what to do and gave me names of lawyers who can handle annulments.

Marco said I didn't support him or his dreams. He wants to get out of where he works and become a truck driver. At first I was against truck driving school because it costs $2000 and he won't be able to give me much money toward the bills (mortgage, PSE&G, Comcast. Maintenance). He was SO HAPPY when I told him he could go to school. Now its almost like nothing happened.

He does pay for the cell phone, my health insurance, and groceries. (Matty, Dave and I did what you and Liz did. We had a joint savings acct but I paid the bills. Every month I'd write down the bills on a piece of paper for him and told him he owed me half. If was a perfect system!)

I worry he's going to leave me after he gets his trucking license and makes more money. It's in the back of my head. I can't help it now. I made him sign a piece of paper (when we were planning to split up) saying he would leave with what he came with and I get to keep my car, condo, and I listed all all my bank accounts/mutual funds. I should get it notorized, right?

Wow-- this is a shitty "new beginning."

[furie]

let's see what happens when the conditional status is removed.

[Jayw]

If you are that concerned maybe you should look into a prenup(maybe to late), I dont know jack about it but it can help secure you assists.

I mean from what you have said put yourself in his shoes. Unless you are pregnant or have a small child I would probably pretty alarmed if you werent working either. Maybe HE thinks YOU are the one trying to bankroll off this situation. Temp work is always an option for you.

Oh well goodluck but maybe there isn't really anything sinister going on. I mean really its not hard to get into this country and stay here so don't make that the only factor of the whole thing. Ya he prolly wanted to practice a bit.

You still have the upper hand and if you have feeling for him talk it out, if he speaks english that is. BTW one of my Uncles became a trucker, and wow that shit sucked last time I heard news from them they were going through bankruptcy court, its a hard life.

Just read that last part where you wanted him to sign definitely get that done by an attorney.

[Recyclerz]

I can't give you any real advice because I don't anything more than has been posted here but this may be something to consider: you haven't known each other very long and you both come from pretty different cultures. I've found that when you find somebody with a very different background who makes your heart sing (and other anatomical features go schwing), the "otherness" or exotic nature that they possess for you is part of what creates some of the heat. When you try to kick up the relationship to the next level that otherness suddenly becomes a thing to worry about. You both might want to look at the relationship from the other's perspective. Eg. your husband comes from a very patriarchial culture, he journeys to el norte to better himself economically and now he finds himself married to a gringa babe who reads Dostoyevsky and gets juicy listening to Bauhaus. You, on the other hand, probably think you're now living in an I Love Lucy episode. A little cultural role playing may be just the thing to get past some of the weirdness is all I'm saying. You read One Hundred Years of Solitude, he watches the complete Sopranos box set.

Anyhow, wishing you all the best and much happiness AF!

[RudeGrrl]

Definitely get that paper notarized. And check with your lawyer to see if there's anything else you can do.

I join everyone else in supporting you in making this work, but look after yourself and your own interests first. You've been with YOU a lot longer than you've been with HIM.

Here are 2 things that I'd be really concerned about, in addition to the general wariness you have at this point:

1) What happens when you get a job--will he continue to pay for the cell phone, groceries and health insurance, or will he assume he's off the hook once you're employed because "you'd have been paying for that anyway"?

2) With regard to him saying that you aren't being supportive of him and his dreams/goals: is HE being supportive of YOUR dreams and goals? It's a 2-way street. Being unemployed in this economy isn't easy and it can be soul-sucking. And presumably you have other interests and things you want to do in your life. So is he being supportive and understanding of YOUR situation? He should only expect your support and understanding if he's doing the same for you.

You've only said so much about him, but based on that, he seems to be a lot more interested in what you and this marriage, can do for HIM, rather than how it can work for both of you and for you personally.

Please be careful.

[Dude!]

i wish this wasn't in the
That's Life forum
so i could say
the things that need
to be said...
clearly and forcefully

some people need
to be shouted at
to be reached

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

i wish this wasn't in the
That's Life forum
so i could say
the things that need
to be said...
clearly and forcefully

some people need
to be shouted at
to be reached

You've been married to an immigrant? I'd like to hear your story. But I have a funny feeling you're a WHOLE LOT younger than me.

'Fess up or give me solid advice please. I don't need a psychological armchair quarterback.

[Contra]

I'm sure there is nothing here at this point anyone of us can say that you don't already know, good luck!

[Death Metal Moe]

i wish this wasn't in the
That's Life forum
so i could say
the things that need
to be said...
clearly and forcefully

some people need
to be shouted at
to be reached

No one needs your gag, douche bag advice. Shut the fuck up cock sucker.

[Kevin]

No one
needs your gag,
douche bag advice.
Shut the fuck up
cock sucker.

Now he will understand.

[razorboy]

Now he will understand.

Don't bet on it.

[PapaBear]

No one needs your gag, douche bag advice. Shut the fuck up cock sucker.

Yup

Now he will understand.

No he won't

[Kevin]

Don't bet on it.



Very true..