ryno1974
08-31-2010, 02:00 PM
Tomorrow (September 1st) is the 6th anniversary of my daughters death. She died at 4 months old from complications from Digeorge syndrome, ore specifically congenital heart disease. She spent her whole life in hospitals, the first three weeks in Winnipeg (our hometown) and the rest of her time at Stollery Childrens Hospital in Edmonton.
Time has passed and things have gotten no easier - just different. I still miss her everyday. I actually think that the one off days are harder than the anniversary's. Things like the first day of school for the other kids (that she will never have) or going camping and watching the other kids go fishing. The thing I find the hardest is the feeling alone. My wife is an incredible person and so very supportive, but I still feel all by myself. People for some reason ask how she is doing at times like this as the grieving mom, but the dad always kind of seems to fade into the background. I try to support her, and I like to think I am good at it, but being a guy unfortunately means being strong, silent, stoic. We are here to be the rocks, not to be the sad ones.
Friends (at least the very few close ones that I have) are supportive, but casual acquaintances either don't know, or don't remember. I think the fading of the memory for others is normal - we all know people who have died that we slowly forget about until they are mentioned to us, but it doesn't fade for me. I am reminded of what happened everyday, either through pictures, memories, or when all else fails the tattoo I had done after she died. I have been a complete bitch at work to all my guys for the past two weeks, no doubt because of this particular day coming up. Not their fault, but I am only human.
Any way, rant over. Thanks for listening.
Daddy misses you Kaity, wish you were here playing with you brothers and sister.
Time has passed and things have gotten no easier - just different. I still miss her everyday. I actually think that the one off days are harder than the anniversary's. Things like the first day of school for the other kids (that she will never have) or going camping and watching the other kids go fishing. The thing I find the hardest is the feeling alone. My wife is an incredible person and so very supportive, but I still feel all by myself. People for some reason ask how she is doing at times like this as the grieving mom, but the dad always kind of seems to fade into the background. I try to support her, and I like to think I am good at it, but being a guy unfortunately means being strong, silent, stoic. We are here to be the rocks, not to be the sad ones.
Friends (at least the very few close ones that I have) are supportive, but casual acquaintances either don't know, or don't remember. I think the fading of the memory for others is normal - we all know people who have died that we slowly forget about until they are mentioned to us, but it doesn't fade for me. I am reminded of what happened everyday, either through pictures, memories, or when all else fails the tattoo I had done after she died. I have been a complete bitch at work to all my guys for the past two weeks, no doubt because of this particular day coming up. Not their fault, but I am only human.
Any way, rant over. Thanks for listening.
Daddy misses you Kaity, wish you were here playing with you brothers and sister.