is being fake a good thing?

[DarkHippie]

i need opinions on this for a story i'm writing.

everyone complains about people being fake, but we all do it. can you honestly say you act the same way in front of everyone? How can you survive in a society if you're brutally honest to everyone you see. Is it better to give someone what they want, or to be yourself (whomever that may be) and ostracize yourself.

for example, i have two younger cousins, 14 and 12 respectively. the 14 year old always says exactly what she means, and is always pissing people off. the 12 year old once said to me "if you have to say something bad about someone, don't say it to their face."

what a complex situation! we idealize honesty, but no one wants to really face it. we all just put on various masks and try to please those around us.

So do you think that maybe its ok, even a noble attribute, to be fake. the person hides there own true feelings for the other person's sake. they makes themselves a sort of martyr.


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This message was edited by DarkHippie on 2-6-02 @ 2:32 PM

[IkeaBoy]

But inside doesn't matter.
we must be fake, we are
fake. everytime we resist
our primal urges, primal
instincts, primal needs,
we're being fake.
conditioned- yes, but fake
nonetheless to our true
nature.


[/quote]
"My review of 2001 the year is the same as my review of 2001: A Space Odyssey- overlong, hard to follow, and only enjoyable if you're really really stoned." - Lewis Black
"a single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic"- joseph stalin

[Doogie]

the 14 year old always says exactly what she means, and is always pissing people off


Believe it or not she is doing something right. People are pissed cause they wish that they could be like her. And I know how she feels, I used to be like her, saying what I feel like...I am constantly getting into trouble for that.

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"My father would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark and accuse cheasnuts of being lazy...I assure you there is nothing like a shrown scrotum"
Thank you WWF Fallon for the sig

[Jennitalia]

i think it's human nature to be fake, but whether it's a good thing or not depends on how individuals carry themselves and how tactful you can be.

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[impactplayer2k1]

I'd rather hurt you with the truth than to kill you with a lie just so i dont hurt your feelings. I'm going to tell you the truth, no matter how painful it is.


"People stab you in the back but your true friends stab you in the front" -Oscar Wilde


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Thanks to WWFallon for the sig!

[TheGameHHH]

Being fake is the coolest thing ever.

IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME-AHHH!

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Thanks Fallon for the sig!

[Jennitalia]

that's fine, though, but if you just go out of your way to intentionally hurt somebody for something that really isn't necessary, well, you're just an asshole. it also depends on the situation

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[Supervixen]

i think theres a middle ground
in being real and still not
making everyone cry.

you can see things for what
they are but understand people
and understand whats going on
with them and find reasos for
things and still not be bitchy
sbout being realistic.

i dontsee a point in being
fake, if peoplelike you- you
knoe it isnt you so how does
it feel knowing no one likes
you, they all like the f



*Baby Anna*
......continue to shine......

[DarkHippie]

people spend so much time being fake that they have no idea who they really are?


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[Tall_James]

Dark Hippie, I work in Sales for a Medical company and unfortunately being fake is part of the job. I don't take it to the extreme that a lot of salespeople do (as reflected by my sales levels), but you have to always put on a nice and happy face even if you feel like shit.

I'm not fake all the time, I couldn't live with myself if that was case. However, certain times you have to put on a false face in order to get the job done. I guess its the same with most jobs I guess.

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Dodging low-flying aircraft since 1977.

[brodieman]

being fake is the worst thing ever ever ever ever ever...i guess i dont have enought evers. but people being real is the best thing, and even though you cant always do it (to bosses, significant others, etc.) being real and just saying what you have to sya is the best thing, fuck the system! fuck conforming!
KEEP IT REAL EVERYONE!

[b]We are the seeds of legend
Our true origins are unknown
We simply are[b]

[Noellevious]

Like you're never gonna tell a lie.

There's a difference between phony people and people who occasionally need to do/say phony things.

Such is life.

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Smagina, pusseta, let's call the whole thing off.

[DaniGirl]

I make it a point to always be honest. Brutally honest in fact. I make alot of people mad because I always say what is on my mind. People say I'm a bitch and I'm this and I'm that but it doesn't bother me because I know that I am the person that is always telling the truth.

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"If I could go back in time, I would want to meet Snoopy" -Tara Reid-

[DarkHippie]

I have a bad habit of acting how people expect me to act: if i think they want me to be the quiet one, i'll shut up, and make it look like i';m pondering something. if they want me to be the life of the party, rock on, I'll charm the pants off of ya. If there expecting a burnt hippie, don't bogart that joint . . . man.

you get the idea. people tend to like it cause it makes them feel like they got me pegged-- like they understand. It fits their perception of reality. So what's wrong with it. I guess i'm just a chameleon.

shit, i'm the prostitute, that when you ask her name, she says "what do you want it to be?"

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This message was edited by DarkHippie on 2-7-02 @ 2:00 PM

[sunndoggy8]

There is a huge difference between being fake and being courteous! I can't believe some of the things that I just read in this thread, b/c it just goes to prove that most people don't see the problem with being brutally honest to the point of hurting other people.

If you're extremely honest to a hurtful degree, and people think you're a bitch b/c of it, well you probably are one!

You don't have to out and out lie and be a phony, but that doesn't mean you're going to be honest when you know that you're going to hurt another person. Being honest just to be honest isn't the brightest way to live your life, b/c you're going to end up hurting people that are close to you. And if you're doing that, most people probably consider you to be an asshole! Sure you can say, Oh at least I'm being honest and that's the way I live my life, but that's not how society works! If everyone was honest and did whatever they wanted, there would be chaos! It doesn't mean that you have to live your life with a fake persona being a phony liar all the time, but it also doesn't mean you have the right to say and do whatever the hell you want to do. And in regards to the 14 year old, people are not pissed at her b/c they're jealous, they're pissed because she's probably a rude teenager!

WHAT THE FUCK?!?! Am I the only one who is incredibly angered that rudeness is played off as honestly and then justified by people who don't have any tact? It's so fucking ridiculous that people think there's no problem with this, and then go through their lives hurting people and say it's just the way they are, or that they just an honest person.

Anyone like that should be kicked in the face.

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<font color="#0F00CD">"I think it's time we stop, hey, what's that sound, everybody look what's going down"</font color="#0F00CD">

[Jennitalia]

i agree with you Sunny...you said it a lot better than i tried to

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[HordeKing1]

I was positive I responded to this thread almost immediately after it was posted. Oh well.

SUNNY really hit the nail on the head. There is a marked differentiation between being fake, being sociable, being mean, and being rude.

To start with, everyone does show a slightly different side of themself to different people. It has nothing to do with being fake; it has to do with the degree of emotional intimacy between the parties, the degree of saftey and comfort they feel with them. Additionally, a crucial driving force behind our public face (and the way we internalize it) is called "ROLE THEORY." Basically we act according to the particular role we're engaged in at the time, and the way we perceive someone in that role should act. For example, in a classroom setting a student acts as a student, a teacher as a teacher.

Problems develop when roles conflict. The most obvious example is a working mother. The two roles are in sharp conflict because a totally dedicated mother is not as good a worker as a totally dedicated worker, and vice versa.

The above is a very bare bones explanation of this fascinating theory and it is worthwhile for anyone interested to do some reading on the topic.

Society cannot survive with people being "brutally honest to everyone you see." When a friend asks if you like their new haircut, it is cruel to say it's awful - even if you think it is. Telling a little white lie, does NOT make you a fake in any way shape or form. However, being "brutally honest" in such a situation can have devestating effects and is worse than the white lie.

DARK HIPPIE, you ask if it is better "to give someone what they want, or to be yourself (whomever that may be) and ostracize yourself." It's best to be yourself. If your friends don't accept you for who you are, it's a sure sign that you need other friends.

A person must be true to themselves before they can be true to another. This means that you do NOT go around trying to get people to like or accept you by conforming to their expectations or desires.

Honesty is praiseworthy and there are certain situations where brutal honesty is called for. (An intervention comes to mind). However, in the vast majority of situations tact is just as much a virtue as honesty.

Note carefully that I used the word "tact." It is not good for a person to be someone whom they are not merely to please others.

Being a "fake" is bad because it hurts yourself as well as others. There is nobility in honesty to yourself, as there is nobility in tact and being considerate of others.

It is important to recognize the distinction between the many types of social circumstances and situations that occur on a daily basis.





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[DarkHippie]

thank you, you just backed up the theme to my story quite well.

when i grow up, can I be a HordeKing too? or maybe a HordePage or HordeSquire?

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[CovDiesel]

I would venture to say that I am not fake... what you see is what you get.

Since most of you do not see me right now.. you can not tell if I mean this... whatever.

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