Survivor: South Pacific...

[StanUpshaw]

...is dead to me.

http://i.imgur.com/vorjf.gif

http://i.imgur.com/Rtwz3.jpg

:wallbash:

[Jayw]

Got it dvr'd. Bout to hit it up.

I don't think this veteran shit is ever going to end. Really who are these two losers, must of missed their seasons...

Already going in with a salty view.

[Jayw]

And damnit I knew there might be a spoiler, but at first your 2nd pic didn't load. Hate you

[StanUpshaw]

Ozzie is all-around superstud who can't actually play the game for shit.

And Coach is the dragon slayer.

[StanUpshaw]

And damnit I knew there might be a spoiler, but at first your 2nd pic didn't load. Hate you

Zero sympathy. The world does not revolve around your tivo.

[Jayw]

Ozzie is all-around superstud who can't actually play the game for shit.

And Coach is the dragon slayer.

Man I would hate to have coach on my team. King fucking douche.

I am liking the Russel nephew thing though.

[Snacks]

she was terrible at the game and just b/c her tits bounced all over the place that doesnt make her hot b/c shes not!

this is the girl you should want to see more of

Mikayla Wingle

http://i.imgur.com/KKv68.jpg

[Rhah]

she was terrible at the game and just b/c her tits bounced all over the place that doesnt make her hot b/c shes not!

this is the girl you should want to see more of

Mikayla Wingle

http://i.imgur.com/KKv68.jpg

Nice. But the fourth thing I looked at other than her boobs, crotch area, face (in that order?)... was her horrible hair extensions. If a guy can notice extensions, then they are really really bad.

[StanUpshaw]

she was terrible at the game and just b/c her tits bounced all over the place that doesnt make her hot b/c shes not!

I'll agree that her face looks like a stepped-in cowpie, but enormous bouncy tits are a gift to be treasured. You don't have to look at her face...i mean, why would you...you should be looking at her tits!

[Jayw]

I'll agree that her face looks like a stepped-in cowpie, but enormous bouncy tits are a gift to be treasured. You don't have to look at her face...i mean, why would you...you should be looking at her tits!

I was disappointed to see her go.

But with the CBS rigging device she will probably be back unless she has to go against someone the viewers like more.

[Snacks]

I was disappointed to see her go.

But with the CBS rigging device she will probably be back unless she has to go against someone the viewers like more.

show has already been filmed so I doubt viewer opinions will have anything to do with it.

[StanUpshaw]

By the way they choose to edit the show, they dictate who the viewers will like.

[Snacks]

By the way they choose to edit the show, they dictate who the viewers will like.

true but you cant edit or change who was voted off and who loses on redemption island and who comes back in the game.

[cougarjake13]

Nice. But the fourth thing I looked at other than her boobs, crotch area, face (in that order?)... was her horrible hair extensions. If a guy can notice extensions, then they are really really bad.

she looked great in the lingerie football league

[realmenhatelife]

I feel like there's some negativity here about this season, I for one am really optimistic about it. They've been plagued by stunt casting the last two seasons, the two really obvious stunt casts in this season, Cochran and Hantz, actually had some depth right off the bat. Hantz is especially a surprise to me, he's basically a little retard but he's got that whole angel on one shoulder devil on the other thing. Talking about how Mikayla is Delilah, I'm sure he'll eventually accuse her of trying to steal his man juice at some point.

I see a lot of potential for people I want to see play the game. You're getting a sense of character right away with the new people, instead of the dulling of new characters by having established players already in the game.

Also, Ozzie and Coach are not Russel and Rob. They aren't implicitely saying 'here are your team captains, go at it.' It's two people who really fucked up playing the game before despite having a lot of good survivor tools. It's two middle of the pack guys. It totally changes the dynamic.

Ozzie was so obviously thinking with his dick, it's hilarious, but he's smart enough to know its too early to try and fight for a girl that will probably be gone before the merge anyway. I would love to bang her, but then you have to listen to awful slam poetry.

[Chigworthy]

RMHL is right; let's get beyond this bullshit negativity and start discussing how douchey these contestants are.

I must have missed something, but how did Samoyed get so tired on that short obstacle course that she couldn't lift a fucking coconut over her head? And how does she make a living doing "Slam Poetry"? Something ain't right here.

[StanUpshaw]

RMHL is right; let's get beyond this bullshit negativity and start discussing how douchey these contestants are.

I must have missed something, but how did Samoyed get so tired on that short obstacle course that she couldn't lift a fucking coconut over her head? And how does she make a living doing "Slam Poetry"? Something ain't right here.

They don't want their cast to consist of 12 "aspiring actors" so they take their hobbies and call them careers.

[realmenhatelife]

Also the ever popular bartender/actor.


You get the same thing on Jeopardy alot, every time someone is a 'writer' they're also like a clerk or a secretary too.

[StanUpshaw]

That old queen running with his arms dangling to the side like a Hanna Barbera character was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

[realmenhatelife]

Yeah, Papabear didn't know what to do.


You have to love Brandon Hantz' insane, children of the corn woman hating, and his completely autistic attempts to connect with the tribe.

[Chigworthy]

Nice. But the fourth thing I looked at other than her boobs, crotch area, face (in that order?)... was her horrible hair extensions. If a guy can notice extensions, then they are really really bad.

Looking back at that picture, it does look like she has a fake Santa beard on.

That old queen running with his arms dangling to the side like a Hanna Barbera character was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Could you imagine him as a beat cop before he made detective, running up the street chasing a bad guy?

In Ron's super flamboyant gay voice:
"Stop right there you fucking perp or I'll shove this nightstick up your ass back at the station!"

Yeah, Papabear didn't know what to do.


You have to love Brandon Hantz' insane, children of the corn woman hating, and his completely autistic attempts to connect with the tribe.

There's no way Brandon and Russell haven't bonded over a good prostitute banging/killing.

[realmenhatelife]

And there's something to be said for keeping your shirt on, I kindof thought Hantz was sortof in shape. Yikes, he's got a real george constanza jr body.

[realmenhatelife]

Challenge this week was rough. Just the meat was nasty enough but all the loogies and shit. I really didn't think they'd give them the meat either, my god.

So this is where Ozzie loses the game, because, as he always has before, he's totally thinking with his dick. And actually, it's the second time this season he picked his confidant, if you remember he originally teamed up with the slam poet.

It was really really smart to try and pull in Alise and enact the Parvati stategy, but he wasn't good enough at concealing their twosome, and the weed dealer is just too smart to fall for that shit. Cochran is probably too smart too but I think any of the girls could manipulate him into doing anything. So now it looks like Ozzie is going to throw a big moodie at which point it just makes sense to vote him out. Ofcourse he's kindof built for redemption island, but I'd really rather have him there than the current chick who is incensed that the guy she declared she would vote out on day 1 had the gall not to get voted out.

B.Hantz remains a total psychopath. And how, at 18, did Coach declare to his parents he would no longer be called Benjamin, and they started calling their teenage son Coach. You have to figure he could have only been coaching pee wee soccer at that point, noone older is going to listen to an 18 year old. His dad didn't say "Don't you think you're taking this a little too seriously, son?"

Oh, not just pee wee soccer, pee wee soccer in what has to be the early 80s.

[StanUpshaw]

He fucking rescued his whole family from KGB spies who were going to torture them and use the information to launch a Soviet invasion onto American soil. I think the least they could do is call him Coach, if that's what he wants.

[Snacks]

He fucking rescued his whole family from KGB spies who were going to torture them and use the information to launch a Soviet invasion onto American soil. I think the least they could do is call him Coach, if that's what he wants.

What? He grew up in Tenn and lives in Cali.

[StanUpshaw]

It's top secret stuff. Three people in the world know that story.

[Enabler]

What? He grew up in Tenn and lives in Cali.

You sure do know a lot about the Dragon Slayer.


If I could quickly get back to the negativity, this season blows so far. Somebody needs to step up and devolve into Phillip level madness or Russell level deviance. And soon.

The nerd calling Ozzie "Mowgli" was pretty funny.

[Jayw]

Ya the only thing half way interesting that has happened was last episode when they shook up the voting a bit and sent ozzies girl home.

[StanUpshaw]

That crazy black lady could have been fun.

[PapaBear]

If a guy can notice extensions, then they are really really bad.

Looking back at that picture, it does look like she has a fake Santa beard on.
I've never seen Survivor. But if a guy can look at that pic and notice "extensions", then you are either gay, or you get some SERIOUSLY hot chicks on a regular basis. And you're gay.

[realmenhatelife]

I've never seen Survivor. But if a guy can look at that pic and notice "extensions", then you are either gay, or you get some SERIOUSLY hot chicks on a regular basis. And you're gay.

You might be interested to know that this season there was an old gay man nicknamed PapaBear on this season. And a very unfortunate sequence of him doing some floppy armed running.

[StanUpshaw]

<iframe width="853" height="480" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/KYYN20hF9DE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[StanUpshaw]

That crazy black lady could have been fun.

Actually both the crazy black lady and the crazy black girl were great, and these goddamn racist honky faggots voted them out as soon as humanly possible.

[realmenhatelife]

Ozzie loses his boner, realizes it just as easily could've been him getting voted out and that he cant win the game as a 'free agent,' does a 180 from his tantrum.

B.Hantz still would like to cleanse the world of sinning and/or foreign vagina. They put cowboy in a spot though. I think he made the right decision strategically, Micheala really doesn't do shit in challenge and shes a lot more likely to be devious. It's better to go against the Young Coach than Old Coach; Young Coach is just trying to win the game but Old Coach is all hung up on a stupid sense of honor and will make your life miserable for voting the other way.



In the next episode Ozzie is talking about how he would almost volunteer to go to exile if needed. He's always thought of himself as kindof singular, like his greatest relationship in the game is with the environment which somehow rewards him. His dumb mowgli shit actually keys him into a decent stategy, because if you purposefully went to exile and could run the table there, you would come back into the game in a possibly adventageous position. You would have very few enemies on the jury, and as long as whatever alliances are kicking are close enough in number you could be used as a swing vote, so you become atleast temporarily valuable. I dont think its all that easy to be on redemption island for that long though, I think being alone screws you up more than you'd expect.

Some castaways get way hotter as they get more grimey, the smart girl in Coaches alliance is really doing it for me.

[StanUpshaw]

Lil Hantz has a Browning logo tattooed on his ribs.

Coach was right...he really is Lenny.

[StanUpshaw]

Jack and Jill? Reward?

Dubious at best.

[realmenhatelife]

B.Hantz saying "You dont talk to him like that. You stay close to me Cochran." was so disturbingly prison bitch sexual.

So, good idea bad idea. Cochran maybe ensures himself a spot in the final, because if all of Ozzie's old tribe gets run out he theoretically couldn't pull many jury votes, and he isn't winning any challenges. Ofcourse you're up against Coaches tribe, and Coach is going to try and push to have strong competition in the final, which means he will only take Cochran if he can rationalize him as a bold, cerebral player, which he isn't.

Ultimately Ozzie and Cochran failed, Ozzie is only a good actor when the scene ends with him cranking one out over his lithe abs, and Cochran did a comedically large nerve gulp on his first contact with Coach. It was a good idea that noone there is good enough to carry out. Should've had Cole Hamels and weed dealer do it, Cole is emotionless and weed dealer lies every second of his life. Then you know who gets the votes and you can position the hidden idol. What they should've done was have Ozzie give his individual immunity to someone, become a huge target, then play the hidden idol.

I still think its dumb not to go to pulling rocks. You have a 50 50 shot to come out on top, even if you lose you only have to pull 1 vote from the other tribe, and the chance aspect totally diffuses the inevitable fallout the next day. Johnny Weed was right, Cochran was just a coward.

The rattier Sophie gets the more attractive I find her.

[Snacks]

I dont understand why they didnt give the idol to Keith in the 1st place? They had to figure they would vote for him. I also cant believe how dumb Coch-boy is. At best the jesus tribe is only bringing him to final 7. With his own tribe he had at least a shot to final 6 or better. I dont get people like coch-boy, they complain about being made fun of or never being made to feel like part of the group yet the entire time he acted like an ass himself and thought he was better then others because he is so "smart"! These same type of people complain about being bullied but in their own way they bring it on themselves and are want to be bullies themselves. If he could you know he would love to be able to act tough and treat people like shit. Last night proved it when he had a chance to act that way he pulled the coward move and did it just to prove that point. If they pulled rocks it would have been 2 against 5 right? Ozzie, old lady had immunity, hot girl used idol and Keith wouldnt have to pull rocks because he becomes immune by the votes? For some reason the other tribe didnt use their idol so they would only have the old cowboy being immune because of the votes?

Just a bad move by the cowardly coch-boy.

Hantz is a little fat punk who needs a beating! Who is he protecting? He sucks at all the challenges and is so fucking annoying with his religion. I have never liked coach and think he might be one of the worst players in history! But last night he was spot on with what was going on so I give him that but hes so fake with all his religious shit.

As for Sophie, nothing is attractive about her. She is one of the ugliest girls ever on the show that I can remember.

[StanUpshaw]

Sophie is cute in an ugly sort of way. She needs to learn to sit up straight.

[StanUpshaw]

http://i.imgur.com/R8IE4.jpg

That's better.

[Snacks]

http://i.imgur.com/R8IE4.jpg

That's better.

Still ugly

[realmenhatelife]

I want to jam her original home of fragrance really thoroughly.



The episode just seemed like they were cleaning shit up, get the last of the old tribe out. I dont really want Ozzie to win, especially since he's overdramatic and atleast half responsible for his position in the game. I'd like to see the black dude blindside coach, which I dont know why you wouldn't do that last night instead of talking about edna, then vote out Ozzie again assuming he comes back into the game, and take it all.

I also hope Cochran is out next week to just slam it home that he was wrong the whole time and the tribe was just manipulating him by playing on his insecurity about being unpopular. If he gets to the jury he's going to spit some nonsense about playing a cerebral game and biding his time for his spot. At the same time I'd really hate to hear the set up be 'And Ozzie, who was voted out twice only to come back into the game and survive to the end.' Because that isnt an act of survival, it's a contrivance of the game that you can be voted out but come back.

[Jayw]

I think the black guys move was smart to at least gain a little favor with the two other tribe members and possibly a jury vote if he makes it. My DVR cut off the last part so I was unable to see if anyone but the two actually voted for Edna.

I am at least glad they didn't waste more than two weeks getting rid of the minority tribe.

Well its down to sophie now... Looks like she lost some weight from the first couple days though

[StanUpshaw]

http://i.imgur.com/KEIBK.jpg

French fried p'taters.

[StanUpshaw]

Sophie is not the shittiest winner ever, but she's pretty shitty.

[Snacks]

none of the 3 finalist deserved to be there but they got there because they got that nervous nerd to flop. out of the 3 she did win the most challenges and the last 1 which was most important. ozzy deserved to win but lost the last challenge and she was the 1 to basically send him home. out of the 3 she deserved it most.

[StanUpshaw]

none of the 3 finalist deserved to be there but they got there because they got that nervous nerd to flop. out of the 3 she did win the most challenges and the last 1 which was most important. ozzy deserved to win but lost the last challenge and she was the 1 to basically send him home. out of the 3 she deserved it most.

THEY got the nervous nerd to flop?
THEY did?

Fuck no. Coach did. The only thing Sophie did was to babysit Albert and get him from doing something stupid to fuck up the alliance.

Ozzy has over and over proved himself to be one of the worst players ever. Being a good athlete means you deserve to win? It sounds like your ideal version of Survivor would be a decathlon.

[Snacks]

THEY got the nervous nerd to flop?
THEY did?

Fuck no. Coach did. The only thing Sophie did was to babysit Albert and get him from doing something stupid to fuck up the alliance.

Ozzy has over and over proved himself to be one of the worst players ever. Being a good athlete means you deserve to win? It sounds like your ideal version of Survivor would be a decathlon.

ok so coach did but he also had the advantage of playing before and people being in aww of him. they should have voted him out early like that old lady said at the start. albert and sophie said it perfectly last night that they were the ones to keep coach there. coach is a douche who used his tebow ways to advance. nothing worse then people who use religion as a tool. he played this game 3 times and has won dick. he is shit in challenges and really sucks in individual challenges. he talks like he is the great master mind, dragon slayer, leader and he really is a glorified nerd similar to cochran but he is lucky he doesnt look like one.

and ozzy deserved to win because he stayed around knocking everyone off by himself 1 by 1. he didnt need a gang unit to get him further. he like many would have wanted that but when his tribe fell apart he went on and beat everyone and won like 8 or 9 challenges in a row. he wins the last challenge and he wins every vote.

[realmenhatelife]

none of the 3 finalist deserved to be there but they got there because they got that nervous nerd to flop. out of the 3 she did win the most challenges and the last 1 which was most important. ozzy deserved to win but lost the last challenge and she was the 1 to basically send him home. out of the 3 she deserved it most.

But if you dont get to the end you cant 'deserve' to win. Think of it as the playoffs, it's a marathon followed by a sprint. Ozzie fucked up coming back into the game with no allies. The thing that makes Survivor a tense game is you can be too good. You have to strike a balance between being likable enough too win and unlikable enough to make the other contestants think they can beat you. The only way to go intot he final like Ozzie is if you win all the immunities, and he couldn't do that, so he had to go.


Sophie winning was kindof a testament to that. Coach and Albert weren't subtle enough, Sophie could play a more under the surface game, but since she didn't totally pander to all the men she doesn't get the same accusations that she just rode coattails. At the same time she didn't have to, or try to, play a solo game like Ozzie.

I'm glad she won, now if Ozzie made the final Ozzie should win because he made it to the final without anyone really disliking him. Albert was the coattail rider, and the only time he wasn't riding coattails he was pensively moping about making a big move that never happened or stabbing Brandon in the back. Coach is functionally retarded and doesn't want to accept that the integrity game doesn't exist and even if he did he'd lose.

The three things I think really put Sophie over in the jury were 1: She made no giant apologies, Albert and Coach apologized like every other question and the jury knows that's bullshit. 2: blowing it up about Coaches immunity idol and tricking Brandon. Again she didn't apologize, but she admits to doing some dirt. The jury appreciated a (more or less) pragmatic view of the game. It makes Coach and Albert look like shit, it proves that they're lying, and 3: she was extremely vulnerable in the last few tribals. She didn't sound all rehearsed and confident like Coach and Albert.

Good win.

[Enabler]

I love that Brandon's family disowned him for besmirching the Hantz family name. Eventually they need to do a season where 1 tribe is comprised entirely of Hantz's.

Im just glad this season is over. The Jesus bullshit and all the praying was borderline offensive.

[Snacks]

But if you dont get to the end you cant 'deserve' to win. Think of it as the playoffs, it's a marathon followed by a sprint. Ozzie fucked up coming back into the game with no allies. The thing that makes Survivor a tense game is you can be too good. You have to strike a balance between being likable enough too win and unlikable enough to make the other contestants think they can beat you. The only way to go intot he final like Ozzie is if you win all the immunities, and he couldn't do that, so he had to go.


Sophie winning was kindof a testament to that. Coach and Albert weren't subtle enough, Sophie could play a more under the surface game, but since she didn't totally pander to all the men she doesn't get the same accusations that she just rode coattails. At the same time she didn't have to, or try to, play a solo game like Ozzie.

I'm glad she won, now if Ozzie made the final Ozzie should win because he made it to the final without anyone really disliking him. Albert was the coattail rider, and the only time he wasn't riding coattails he was pensively moping about making a big move that never happened or stabbing Brandon in the back. Coach is functionally retarded and doesn't want to accept that the integrity game doesn't exist and even if he did he'd lose.

The three things I think really put Sophie over in the jury were 1: She made no giant apologies, Albert and Coach apologized like every other question and the jury knows that's bullshit. 2: blowing it up about Coaches immunity idol and tricking Brandon. Again she didn't apologize, but she admits to doing some dirt. The jury appreciated a (more or less) pragmatic view of the game. It makes Coach and Albert look like shit, it proves that they're lying, and 3: she was extremely vulnerable in the last few tribals. She didn't sound all rehearsed and confident like Coach and Albert.

Good win.

I agree with you, ozzy was the best competitor but didnt win the last challenge when needed. I also agree sophie deserved it over the other 2. I actually dont think I said anything different then what you said other then none of the 3 deserved it but i guess they technically did.

[Snacks]

I love that Brandon's family disowned him for besmirching the Hantz family name. Eventually they need to do a season where 1 tribe is comprised entirely of Hantz's.

Im just glad this season is over. The Jesus bullshit and all the praying was borderline offensive.

I cant believe I lasted. Every eps I had to fast forward the prayer scenes. "heavenly father this, heavenly father that" it was too much and to be honest too fake.

[realmenhatelife]

I cant believe I lasted. Every eps I had to fast forward the prayer scenes. "heavenly father this, heavenly father that" it was too much and to be honest too fake.

Thats probably another reason I liked Sophie too, just rolling her fucking eyes at that stuff.

[deliciousV]

If the next cast is anything like this bunch they'll have to move the show to Sunday morning

[realmenhatelife]

If the next cast is anything like this bunch they'll have to move the show to Sunday morning

The rumor I've heard is that the next season both tribes are going to live on the same beach, which I think could be pretty cool.

[Snacks]

The rumor I've heard is that the next season both tribes are going to live on the same beach, which I think could be pretty cool.

one world

same beach 2 tribes, guys vs girls, no former players and they can decide if they live together helping each other and sharing the food and work or if they create 2 different shacks to sleep under, 2 fires, separate water, food etc. sounds interesting and no redemption island.

[StanUpshaw]

The preview had lots of big tits.