Doomsday Preppers

[Chigworthy]

On Natgeo I guess. What a load of lunacy. This one family has enough food for 22 people to last 15 years in their house. They believe that because the earth's poles are shifting (as they have been forever) that there will be biblical earthquakes and that the landmasses will start moving around on the planet to the point where their Texas climate will turn into an arctic wasteland. They have created some insane concept of geophysics to justify their zombie fantasy and resource hoarding.

[Chigworthy]

Ha! They took three different people or families who are planning for their ultimate armageddon fantasy based on different delusions. The previously mentioned pole shift and subsequent imaginary tectonic shift, as well as some loopy hippy who was orgasming over a mega earthquake hitting his hometown LA and allowing him to forage for greens along the LA river, and a chubby broad from Houston who had wet panties over a sudden cutoff of oil to the USA.

The funny part is that after each loon's segment, they have experts rate how silly their plans are. Then at the end of the whole show, they explained how each of three fantasies was either never going to happen or completely unlikely.


Now episode two starts with some tub o guts (easily 300-400 pounds) who thinks that the sun is going to send out an EMP that will destroy every single piece of mechanics and/or electronics. Somehow he thinks that a 400 pound chub will be able to survive in a zombie wet dream. This fucker's gonna feed a lot of cannibals.

[Chigworthy]

This is the greatest show ever. This lardo is building farraday cages for his radio equipment out of 2x4's and aluminum flashing.

[Chigworthy]

This must be the obesity episode. Second segment is some fat broad who is pretending to be preparing for the apocalypse just so she can store ridiculous amounts of food in her house. She has a whole room dedicated to comfort foods like chocolate and brownie mix. Her skin is waxy and pale. Yet another person who couldn't even imagine how to survive. If the world does end, the first enterprising band of thugs will score a shitload of good food after they rape and murder her family. Her husband is apparently fit, and he really gets off on patrolling the house at night for intruders. He's got good tactical moves for clearing rooms, probably played a lot of Splinter Cell. These two loons taught themselves to be fluent in Taggalog so that they could communicate without other people knowing what they are saying.

It gets better. She teaches self-defense to women. She's like 5-4' 200 plus pounds.

[Chigworthy]

This guy on episode three just shot himself in the thumb while "training". Or as he put it:

"It was just one of those malfunctions where I put my hand in front of the barrel and the gun went off."


This fucktard was training his two young sons to shoot when he did it. Then he passed out. Luckily the show had an EMT on staff as they were way the fuck out in the desert. Hopefully if the world comes to an end, this guy will still have a camera crew with an EMT following him around to help him survive. He ended up having the center section of his thumb removed and ended up with a gay midget thumb. That's gonna inhibit surviving.

[cougarjake13]

we only could habve been luckuy

[StanUpshaw]

Is this a whole series? I saw a show a while ago with a dude who turned his swimming pool into a aquaponics system and ate tilapia 2 meals a day. There was another segment with a fat broad, one with some grunt who lost his shit in Iraq, and a traveling salesman who spends his weekends in a drainage culvert.

[cougarjake13]

Is this a whole series? I saw a show a while ago with a dude who turned his swimming pool into a aquaponics system and ate tilapia 2 meals a day. There was another segment with a fat broad, one with some grunt who lost his shit in Iraq, and a traveling salesman who spends his weekends in a drainage culvert.



i think so

[brettmojo]

These people are so bat shit insane it HAS to be an act.

The old couple that believed in a post apocalyptic world they wouldn't need guns or weapons to defend themselves or protect their food stores? Holy shit.

A father was moving his family to Tennessee because he believed global warming was going to raise the water levels so high that Florida would be swallowed up by the ocean. He lived in Jacksonville. He wanted to build a house in the form of a underground bunker but his wife thought THAT was a little too much. That guy watched The Day After Tomorrow one too many times.

They should do a spin-off of this show called WHY THEY SNAPPED where all these people are committed to the same psych-ward and they're all in a group therapy where a psychiatrist exposes what it is that made them all crack and they argue with each other over how the world is gonna' end.

[OGC]

I can't understand how anyone believes anything that they see on any channel on tv isn't scripted anymore.

[Chigworthy]

These people are so bat shit insane it HAS to be an act.

The old couple that believed in a post apocalyptic world they wouldn't need guns or weapons to defend themselves or protect their food stores? Holy shit.

But they had bee honey and canned goods to barter with the marauding bands of rapist cannibals. When the specialist told them that they needed some sort of defense, they said that weapons don't fit in with their ethics. The age old tragedy of thinking that good intention can shield one from harm. But that wasn't the stupidest thing they believed. They were preparing for a huge earthquake in the middle of the country. And they live in New England. Yep, they're anglophiles and they worry about an earthquake 1500 miles away.

Now I'm watching some biblical couple who have stockpiled over 200 pounds of sugar, cases of grain alcohol, and 60 guns. They are so rock hard about their gun collection that they showed on camera where they have hidden all of the guns in the house, including the one mounted on the side of the easy chair. Now he's blubbering with tears about something the bible says. He's ignored that whole sloth thing though.

[Chigworthy]

I can't understand how anyone believes anything that they see on any channel on tv isn't scripted anymore.

I understand where you're coming from. But these people are real. There's no way some two-bit natgeo show would have the duckets to buy and bury shipping containers and fill them with guns and food just for a 15 minute segment.

[brettmojo]

If it was scripted... They wouldn't all be fatsos. That alone probably means its for realz.

[cougarjake13]

These people are so bat shit insane it HAS to be an act.

The old couple that believed in a post apocalyptic world they wouldn't need guns or weapons to defend themselves or protect their food stores? Holy shit.

A father was moving his family to Tennessee because he believed global warming was going to raise the water levels so high that Florida would be swallowed up by the ocean. He lived in Jacksonville. He wanted to build a house in the form of a underground bunker but his wife thought THAT was a little too much. That guy watched The Day After Tomorrow one too many times.

They should do a spin-off of this show called WHY THEY SNAPPED where all these people are committed to the same psych-ward and they're all in a group therapy where a psychiatrist exposes what it is that made them all crack and they argue with each other over how the world is gonna' end.



i love ur sig pic

[cougarjake13]

If it was scripted... They wouldn't all be fatsos. That alone probably means its for realz.



i think any intial seqason is for the most part real and after that theyre just trying to keep whatever fame theyve achieved

[ozzie]

The shelf life on some of the stuff they're stock-piling is alarmingly low.

They were showing the one guy filling up hundreds of 2-litre bottles full of rice. Shortly after, the narrator comes on and says that "if stored properly, it could last over two years".

TWO YEARS?

At best, even the most prepared people on there would just be postponing the inevitable.

These dumbasses are going to be wasting tons of food every few years waiting for something to happen.

Speaking of which... it's time to check the expiration dates in the ol pantry.

[Crash]

I thought this thread was about this...

http://tinyfarmblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/fal2007_dried_cayenne_long_slim.jpg

Imagine my surprise.

[Chigworthy]

The shelf life on some of the stuff they're stock-piling is alarmingly low.

They were showing the one guy filling up hundreds of 2-litre bottles full of rice. Shortly after, the narrator comes on and says that "if stored properly, it could last over two years".

TWO YEARS?

At best, even the most prepared people on there would just be postponing the inevitable.

These dumbasses are going to be wasting tons of food every few years waiting for something to happen.

Speaking of which... it's time to check the expiration dates in the ol pantry.

I thought the same thing about the rice. If they ate rice every day they would still have some left after two years. But then I was thinking about rice not lasting more than 2 years. What the hell goes bad with rice? If it is totally dried out, I can't imagine it going bad.

[Chigworthy]

Watching episode 5 now.

This crazy broad from Salt Lake City has moved into a house near the capital building so that she "has a constant reminder that the government is going to declare martial law in the next year and put everyone into fema death camps".

She keeps talking about studying the government and "putting together the clues". She spends all of her free time prepping for the end. She has spent $50,000 dollars "prepping". She has a large room full of supplies for when the government forces come to her door to take her to the camp.

One question, crazy broad: If the shock troops are banging on your door to remove you, what good is the tons of food in your house going to do other than feed the shock troops after they send you to the camp? Oh yeah, I forgot to add that she does not have any guns, but she does have a stungun and a fire poker.

Well, she has a nice rack and for some reason has not been able to secure a long-term relationship, so have at her guys!

[Gutter]

Basically, what I took away from the show is that even if you dedicate your whole life to prepping for the doomsday of your choosing and have stores of food, protective EMP proof covering for your ham radio, a livable bunker, etc, you're still only 40% more prepared than I am for doomsday because you're a disgusting fat body. I'll take my chances.

Besides, when the zombie apocalypse shows up, all I'm gonna need is my trusty boomstick.

http://www.blogcdn.com/massively.joystiq.com/media/2009/02/bc34rarmyofdarkness2.jpg

[Furtherman]

All of these people are 100% correct. THUNDERDOME is coming.

[disneyspy]

anyone see the one where the guy was going to bury cargo containers with no air ventalation?

[Gutter]

All of these people are 100% correct. THUNDERDOME is coming.

You're talking about all of us right?

[Furtherman]

You're talking about all of us right?

No. All of you will die with the masses. The Doomesday Peppers will live. And I will lead them into Underverse!!!

[CountryBob]

All of these people are 100% correct. THUNDERDOME is coming.

we dont need another hero, we just need to find the way home.....

[Gutter]

No. All of you will die with the masses. The Doomesday Peppers will live. And I will lead them into Underverse!!!

Whatever you say Zhylaw

[weekapaugjz]

series premiere of doomsday bunkers on discovery at 10 eastern. looks like it should be good for a laugh.

[StanUpshaw]

http://besurvival.com/news-and-alerts/doomsday-prepper-has-guns-taken-away-by-judge

[Chigworthy]

http://besurvival.com/news-and-alerts/doomsday-prepper-has-guns-taken-away-by-judge

Lots of credible details in that shitpile.

[Chigworthy]

This crazy hippie in a missile bunker is hilarious.


Why does the disembodied evaluation at the end of each segment never suggest to these pale rotund grubs that the first step to survival would be to be a little more fit? It's silly watching them waddle around trying to learn how to shoot guns when they have absolutely no fight in them. At least they are all stockpiling food for the rest of us.

[Chigworthy]

This angry crazy hippy is so depressed that his early 80's fantasy of Ronald Reagan destroying the planet never came true.