Removing the stink no soap can wash away...

[JerryTaker]

I've been told I'm an attractive guy, I don't see it, but whatever... and I've been told I'm a great, nice, caring guy. The thing is, it seems that women are immediately turned off from me, citing a stench of <b>desperation</b> Now, I'm quite lonely, ever since I was dumped by my ex in September, but I don't feel desperate. maybe I'm wrong.

The thing is, I don't know how to shake it, and I feel like I will be alone for the rest of my life, because I can't change that about me. I feel like I'm getting old, and I'm only going to have less and less opportunities to meet people.

I don't know if this makes any sense, but any advice would be greatly appreciated, because I don't see much for the future...

Thanks to Hosp for the Idea:
<IMG SRC="http://afs30.njit.edu/~gsm2321/sigpic2a.GIF">
"Who do you trust when everyone's a crook?"

This message was edited by JerryTaker on 2-11-02 @ 11:05 AM

[IkeaBoy]

your a guy, you're desperate by nature

[/quote]
"My review of 2001 the year is the same as my review of 2001: A Space Odyssey- overlong, hard to follow, and only enjoyable if you're really really stoned." - Lewis Black
"a single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic"- joseph stalin

[FUNKMAN]

Jerry,

See if some friends can set you up on some blind dates or go with the personals...

It can't hurt! Go out for a bite to eat and Most Important!!! STAY LOOSE! and try to BE POSITIVE. Talk about things that you like and be sure to have an interest in what the girl/lady/woman may like.
Don't think about what may be wrong with you, just be yourself and have a NICE TIME!

Don't place too much weight on HOPING the first date will be like the "4th Of July" with all the Fireworks. If you seem to get along, both in appearance and personality wise then make a 2nd date...
If you don't get along, NO HARM DONE! You were a gentleman and you had a nice meal and got to meet someone new, THAT'S IT, no Biggie...

There will always be others to meet
:)



<img src="http://www.markfarner.com/2001tour/ribfest8_small.jpg">

"I got everything that a man could want. I got more, than i could ask for"

This message was edited by FUNKMAN on 2-11-02 @ 9:21 AM

[DarkHippie]

i was like like too, and to a point i still am, until my friend the manwhore taught me a trick. when you want a chick, act like you're interested, BUT act like it doesn't matter to you whether she says yes or no. Or do what i do, and pretend you're someone else

<IMG SRC=http://diskeater.homestead.com/files/flagu.gif>
<i>support your local 420: union of brotherhood</i>

[wilee]

Jerry,

You have to get out. Come to a RF.net get-together or something. I realize most of the young ladies that are posting here are taken, but I do remember that there were several other women in at the bar at the Hard Rock when I went on 2/1. You should take advantage of opportunities that come up. I met my ex at a bar on LI, which I went to for a concert a couple of years back. She approached me, which was refreshing. The whole thing is, if you sit at home, or stay away from a place where you have the opportunity to meet new people, your prophecy will be self-fulfilling.

Go out, have a good time, hang with friends, and remember that YOU are your harshest critic...

<IMG SRC="http://cwjr.home.infi.net/rocket.jpg">

[Jennitalia]

don't try so hard

<IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/jensig.gif">

[furie]

did you call in and talk about this a couple of months ago? this story sounds familiar...
it's tough to "get back in the sadlle" once you fell comfortable.
hang in there.


<img src="http://tseery.homestead.com/files/surfer.jpg" width=300 height=100 >
Thanks WWFallon!

[JerryTaker]

I've never called in with my problems, R&F very rarely, if ever, do relationship advice.

Wilee, I do go out quite a bit, actually, I've made it a point to spend nearly every weekend in some bar or club since I got dumped...

I've also been to several board gatherings, and Funkman, just <I>getting to </I> the first date is damn near impossible for me.

Jenni, I've heard that all my life, and I'm still not sure I understand it...

Thanks guys, but scaring women away seems to be my lot in life, I guess we'll see....

Thanks to Hosp for the Idea:
<IMG SRC="http://afs30.njit.edu/~gsm2321/sigpic2a.GIF">
"Who do you trust when everyone's a crook?"

This message was edited by JerryTaker on 2-11-02 @ 11:05 AM

[FUNKMAN]

Thanks guys, but scaring women away seems to be my lot in life, I guess we'll see....


Madone!

What do you got a face like Frankenstien, Come On! Snap out of it!
:)

I have a little theory, maybe it holds true, maybe not...

Everyone in this world is doing exactly what they want to be doing or else otherwise they wouldn't be doing it...
I hear single people say they are "lonely" and wish they were married and married people saying they wish they were "single" I feel that these people are falsely expressing themselves because otherwise they would be single if they "truly" wanted it and married if they "truly" wanted it...

I say to myself sometimes that I would like to be a "Great Guitar Player" and be in a famous Rock Band but then I realize that I'm kidding myself and it must not be "truly" what I want because I don't put the "effort" into it, so it will never happen..

So from that perspective if you don't make the "effort" then you "truly" do not want what you think you want...

I hope you prove me wrong!

:)

PEACE



<img src="http://www.markfarner.com/2001tour/ribfest8_small.jpg">

"I got everything that a man could want. I got more, than i could ask for"

[JerryTaker]

So from that perspective if you don't make the "effort" then you "truly" do not want what you think you want...

don't try so hard


Perfect... I'm doomed ;-)

Thanks to Hosp for the Idea:
<IMG SRC="http://afs30.njit.edu/~gsm2321/sigpic2a.GIF">
"Who do you trust when everyone's a crook?"

[FUNKMAN]

Perfect... I'm doomed


Jerry,

Of all the nice and positive things we said you go and pick out two lines that you felt contradict...

When Jenni writes "don't try so hard" she means don't make it a life and death situation...
When I say make the "effort", it means you have to do more than give up on it...
Just because I won't be a rock star doesn't mean I don't play guitar, and people actually say that I sound good...(sometimes)

Anyway! Good Luck!





<img src="http://www.markfarner.com/2001tour/ribfest8_small.jpg">

"I got everything that a man could want. I got more, than i could ask for"

[Jennitalia]

Right on, Funk.

as much as you probably dont want to hear it and as much as it may seem to not mean anything, relationships tend to happen when you least expect them. if everytime you go out you're looking for "that special someone", chances are it ain't going to happen.
and when and if you do meet somebody, dont come on so strong. we don't like guys who play games and crap like that, but we also tend to shy away from the guys who after a day or a week of dating, profess their love for us. just let things take it's natural course. the more you try to make a situation into something you really want, the more mess of a situation you may make

<IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/jensig.gif">

[DaniGirl]

Don't worry so much Jerry. You're a great guy. I see that and I'm sure lots of other people do to. You'll be fine. *hugs*

<IMG SRC="http://www.nephco.com/powerpuffgirls/icons/bubbles_06.ico">
"If I could go back in time, I would want to meet Snoopy" -Tara Reid-

[JerryTaker]

I never meant to sound unnapreciative. I'm sorry if I did, I'm just really frustrated that there seems to be a small target of "how you're <I>supposed</I> to be," and anytime you go outside the lines, you get rejected.

My great uncle is a great guy, really good to his brothers' and sisters' extended family. but he doesn't have one of his own. He's in his 70's and he never married. I see him as what I will become, but without the support of a large, close extended family.

The rejection I've experienced has pounded into my brain that I'm not good enough for the affections of a woman, and I don't know what it will take to reverse that way of thinking. It's something that has been eating at me since I was dumped, nearly 6 months ago, and it seems to keep getting harder and harder to deal with...

Thanks to Hosp for the Idea:
<IMG SRC="http://afs30.njit.edu/~gsm2321/sigpic2a.GIF">
"Who do you trust when everyone's a crook?"

[IRISjr]

Take a swiss army knife, or cheese grater, and take out the smelly skin.

THIS SKIN STILL STINK, AHHH CHOP CHOP

NEW SIG PIC IN PRODUCTION
<font><FONT FACE=" comic sans ms">
<marquee>IRIS loves ya</marquee><font>
<font color "blue"><marquee>but IRIS jr probably doesn't</marquee></FONT>

<marquee>Monkeys in Suits Rule!!!
</marquee></FONT> </BODY>

[HordeKing1]

JERRYTAKER - A few of the women have pointed out that you should "stop trying so hard." This is advice worth heeding especially in light of the title of this thread.

Additionally, the worst thing you can do to yourself or to a potential relationship is to pretend to be someone that you are not.



http://members.aol.com/rnfpantera/hking2

[CovDiesel]

Jerry...

It's all a game, my friend... just play the game and be yourself.. things will work out in the end... just don't get too hung up on the details.

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/dxixrxt/covpigs.jpg">