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The "earwax" test for gonorrhea and chlamydia: myth, or insane bullshit ramblings?

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  • The "earwax" test for gonorrhea and chlamydia: myth, or insane bullshit ramblings?

    Dearest Dr. Steve,


    An old construction guy I used to work with always told me that if we was hooking up with some skank from the bar, right before he was getting ready to bang her, he would stick his finger in his ear, and then rub her vagina with the earwax. If she jumped, he knew that she had some kind of infection or disease or rot or whatever.

    I've never been able to find any medical information to back up this creepy old fucks claims, but he swore by his technique, and would tell anybody who would listen that it got him through decades of one-night stands without ever getting an STD.

  • #2
    Originally posted by DiabloSammich View Post
    Dearest Dr. Steve,


    An old construction guy I used to work with always told me that if we was hooking up with some skank from the bar, right before he was getting ready to bang her, he would stick his finger in his ear, and then rub her vagina with the earwax. If she jumped, he knew that she had some kind of infection or disease or rot or whatever.

    I've never been able to find any medical information to back up this creepy old fucks claims, but he swore by his technique, and would tell anybody who would listen that it got him through decades of one-night stands without ever getting an STD.
    That's more of a anecdote than a question.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by razorboy View Post
      That's more of a anecdote than a question.


      Actually, the anecdotal part of it was the guy dying by getting hit by a car stumbling home from the bar about two years ago.

      I just want to know about the magical qualities of earwax.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by DiabloSammich View Post
        Dearest Dr. Steve,


        An old construction guy I used to work with always told me that if we was hooking up with some skank from the bar, right before he was getting ready to bang her, he would stick his finger in his ear, and then rub her vagina with the earwax. If she jumped, he knew that she had some kind of infection or disease or rot or whatever.

        I've never been able to find any medical information to back up this creepy old fucks claims, but he swore by his technique, and would tell anybody who would listen that it got him through decades of one-night stands without ever getting an STD.
        sure, sure, jamming earwax into a one-night stand's vagine with your fingers is way better than using a condom. That old turd is probably riddled with VD, he just doesn't go to the doctor and figures he's fine. Probably spreading chlamydia and HPV all over the southwest (or wherever the hell he is). And what girl WOULDN'T jump, having some craggy old bastard jam his calloused fingers into her twat? The sensitivity and specificity of this test are both extremely low.

        I knew a guy who told everyone his bloodtype was ABnegative, just because he thought it was cool to say it. The fact that his son was Opositive made things very interesting, because it meant that either 1) he was lying or 2) the kid wasn't his son. And that man was my father (or at least he probably was, if he was lying about being ABnegative). So if my old man could fib about his blood type, ol' crusty ears could easily be telling you a story just because it sounded good.

        The best way to avoid std's is to only ever have sex with one person, and only then if that person has only ever had sex with you.

        Next way: condoms


        The earwax test doesn't even rate. Tell the old coot to shove some earwax in his pee hole and see if he jumps.


        your pal,



        steve

        Comment


        • #5
          So....... is that a "no"?

          Comment


          • #6
            Didn't soldiers in Vietnam rub lemon on the stinky parts of hookers to test for the clap?

            This too is a rhetorical post.

            Comment


            • #7
              Yeah, a healthy woman won't jump when you giver her the exponential wet-willy.

              Comment


              • #8
                Dr Steve, I followed your advice and now my penishole is blocked with earwax. I really have to go. What do I do now?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Dr. Steve is feeling froggy tonight. I like the attitude!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Dr Steve View Post
                    And what girl WOULDN'T jump, having some craggy old bastard jam his calloused fingers into her twat?
                    If you come up with a chick let me know

                    Originally posted by Dr Steve View Post
                    The best way to avoid std's is to only ever have sex with one person
                    Now where's the fun in that?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      [QUOTE=DolaMight;2468676]Dr Steve, I followed your advice and now my penishole is blocked with earwax. I really have to go. What do I do now?[/QUOTE u should have not stuck your cock in her ear

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by DiabloSammich View Post
                        Actually, the anecdotal part of it was the guy dying by getting hit by a car stumbling home from the bar about two years ago.
                        I just want to know about the magical qualities of earwax.
                        Originally posted by Dr Steve View Post

                        The earwax test doesn't even rate. Tell the old coot to shove some earwax in his pee hole and see if he jumps.
                        Are the drs not listening to the patients again? is this what we can expect with Obamacare?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by DolaMight View Post
                          Dr Steve, I followed your advice and now my penishole is blocked with earwax. I really have to go. What do I do now?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            So........ is following Lil Jimmy Nortons way of not wearing a bag cause if your immune system never sees it how is it supposed to get immune to it wrong also?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Dr Steve View Post
                              sure, sure, jamming earwax into a one-night stand's vagine with your fingers is way better than using a condom. That old turd is probably riddled with VD, he just doesn't go to the doctor and figures he's fine. Probably spreading chlamydia and HPV all over the southwest (or wherever the hell he is). And what girl WOULDN'T jump, having some craggy old bastard jam his calloused fingers into her twat? The sensitivity and specificity of this test are both extremely low.

                              I knew a guy who told everyone his bloodtype was ABnegative, just because he thought it was cool to say it. The fact that his son was Opositive made things very interesting, because it meant that either 1) he was lying or 2) the kid wasn't his son. And that man was my father (or at least he probably was, if he was lying about being ABnegative). So if my old man could fib about his blood type, ol' crusty ears could easily be telling you a story just because it sounded good.

                              The best way to avoid std's is to only ever have sex with one person, and only then if that person has only ever had sex with you.

                              Next way: condoms


                              The earwax test doesn't even rate. Tell the old coot to shove some earwax in his pee hole and see if he jumps.


                              your pal,



                              steve
                              This has been a Dr Stevatorial. THANK YOU

                              Comment

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