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My Car is a Bird Shit Magnet

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  • My Car is a Bird Shit Magnet

    <p><font size="2" face="Century Gothic"><font color="Navy">Ever since the halfway decent weather
    has come back, birds have been shitting all over my car at an
    incredible pace. It was so bad my Mom said someone yelled at her &quot;Hey
    wash your car!&quot; at an intersection when she used it. So I get it washed
    last weeked. By the next day there was a line of dry white goodness
    mocking me. Yesterday, when I washed it again, it was as bad as it was
    last week. And then I take a look at it today and, of course, yet
    another white pinstripe of shame slivering itself down the side of my
    car. It&#39;s parked in my fucking driveway, not a tree anywhere near it! I
    feel like going out there tommorow with a shotgun and blowing away any
    flying little fucker whose flight path goes over a mile diameter circle
    around my car. I hate animals so much, and they hate my cars in
    return.</font></font><br />

    <br /></p><hr width="100%" />
    People like me because I force them to,<em><font color="#ff0000">WITH VIOLENCE!!!!!!!!!!!</font></em><br />

    I want to see a stewed tomato in the toilet by noon, or I&#39;ll be paying you a little visit!<br />
    <br />
    &nbsp;<br />

    <font color=black>This message was edited by HBox on 4-17-05 @ 2:39 AM</font>

  • #2
    This is why sunroofs are a BAD idea!

    <center><img src=""></center>
    <center>Can you even do that with a cheeseburger?</center>


    • #3
      <p>Could be worse. You could live in a Hieronymus Bosch painting.</p><p><img height="477" src="" width="437" border="0" /></p>

      <img src="">
      Fuck it from behind.


      • #4
        <p>Nice! When I hired them, i didn&#39;t realize they&#39;d do such a good job!
        Gotta remember to tip those birds when they collect this week. Oh man,
        I have alot more work to give these guys.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Lets
        see. Snoogans, he&#39;s trying to sell his. Mojo, for being almost a girl.
        FM jeff for the dramatic exit this week. Who else? Hmmmm. . . . . .
        .&nbsp; .<br />
        </p><p>ATTN MODS- Be nice to me. Capisce?&nbsp;</p><p><br />

        <img border="0" src="" />

        Can placebos cause side effects? And if so, are the side effects real?

        <font color="black" /></p>

        <font color=black>This message was edited by Bulldogcakes on 4-17-05 @ 9:32 AM</font>


        • #5
          <p>I believe that to a birds mind, they like to shit into water.&nbsp; When they see the shiny car, they think its water!</p><p>I never heard scientific proof of this, but Id bet my bottom dollar!</p>


          <center><B>My Thanks to Just Jon, Reefdwella, ADF, Yerdaddy,Monsterone and Katylina for the sig-pic help and creation!</B></center>
          <marquee behavior=alternate><font size=1>Which Witch Wished Which Wicked Wish?</marquee>


          • #6
            <p>I&#39;ve heard from a few people that if a bird shits on you, it&#39;s a sign of good luck.</p><p>But if it shits on your car, it means your gay.&nbsp; Sorry.</p>

            <IMG SRC="">

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