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  • manic depression or something else?

    i feel like a fucking schizophrenic.sometimes i get into these really terrible moods, it usually happens at night or once in a while when im home alone.i lay in bed in the dark, listen to dark music and berate myself. for the past week or two i've been in one of these moods.it usually only lasts a day.i feel like a total fuck up. it seems like im getting insulted and cured out for every little thing i do.
    in the past 2 weeks i've gained 10 pounds. every time i go to eat something even a little junkey , my mom now has something extemely nasty and condesndig to say to me about how i look.then i'll spend the next hour and a half in my room , in my own little world. to add to it my friends are asshole. the other day my friend stephanie told me i sould go balemic if i wanted to lose the weight fast. i've been so fucked up only realised like 2 days after she said this , what a dick she is for saying it
    i feel like that tool song "i am just a worthless lier , iam just an imbasyl i will only complicate you trust in me and fall as well ...i will work to elevate you just enough to bring you down " i've done and said alot of fucked up thing cuase of this "depression" or whatever it is . i've been disconnecting myself from people and trying to hide it as best i can , spare people the drama. i won't even look in the mirror any more . i hate myself
    when im not in this "moom" im usually a very happy person ... who's 10 pounds lighter. i think i've reaached my fucking breaking point , last night came home and i needed a cigarette so bad , and i haven't had a craving in 2 months
    i've been spuratically going to counseling , but that's relly never helped me . i've been this way since i was 8 . i really don't want it to go on any more. i don't know who to turn to. i do not want to complicate anyone's life by having them worry about me

    what exactly is manic depression? do i have it?i know it makes you suicidal , and if i weren't so fucking scared of death , i might be

    i just needed to get this shit off my chest.

    [center]


    [font=Comic Sans MS]fuzzy , you gave me fucking AIDS! im never coming to science lab with you again

    I WAS GOING TO PUT THE LYRICS TO DARLING NIKKI BY THE FOO FIGHTERS IN MY SIG , BUT THE FUCKING SITE WONT LET ME!!

  • #2
    i feel the same way like all the time, so i hear you. my friend says i should take something like pacil for it, but I don't want to talk to anyone.

    the main problem is i feel like i don't have anything to look forward to. I hate myself as well. in fact i took the mirror out of my room because i hated seeing myself in the reflection. I only l look in the mirror like in the bathroom and i try to keep my head down while washing my hands so i don't catch a glimpse. I'm not heidious or anything, i just hate myself.

    I also feel i'm completely alone and that I live every day in the personal hell i've created.

    anyway here's some info..

    depression info

    Big Ass Card Holder 1230 (whoo--aaah)

    "Ronnie...this guy Hank said "I'm going to kill you Fat girl" - Fez
    "Really...that means he must know you" - Ron

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    • #3

      i feel like that tool song "i am just a worthless lier , iam just an imbasyl i will only complicate you trust in me and fall as well ...i will work to elevate you just enough to bring you down "

      especially, since your quoting tool songs, my diagnosis: teenage angst. it should clear up in 5 to 6 years.

      i'll go out on a limb and say i'm pretty sure you don't have a chemical imbalance, but if you really think there's something wrong with you, talk to a psychiatrist.


      <center><img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=monsterone01">


      MO¥+ErO¥E.
      moe & steels, you
      are greatly missed... you too
      horde king
      </center>

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      • #4
        but i&#39;m 26 and have felt this way for three years....nevermind.

        if i&#39;m going out...i&#39;m going out in my sleep.

        Big Ass Card Holder 1230 (whoo--aaah)

        "Ronnie...this guy Hank said "I&#39;m going to kill you Fat girl" - Fez
        "Really...that means he must know you" - Ron

        Comment


        • #5
          I&#39;m going to resist the temptation to quote Jimi Hendrix lyrics.

          I think manic depression is now know as a bipolar disorder. Either that or they are related. It&#39;s a positive-negative thing, depression alternating with activity to an extreme. Somebody please, please, please correct me if I am wrong.

          That Tool album is a great thing. I used to listen to it every day when I was in school.

          Here comes the water.

          All I knew and all I believed
          are crumbling images
          that no longer comfort me.
          I scramble to reach higher ground,
          some order and sanity,
          or something to comfort me.

          So I take what is mine,and hold what is mine,
          suffocate what is mine, and bury what&#39;s mine.
          Soon the water will come
          and claim what is mine.
          I must leave it behind,
          and climb to a new place now.

          This ground is not the rock I thought it to be.

          Thought I was high, and free.
          I thought I was there
          divine destiny.

          I was wrong.
          This changes everything.

          The water is rising up on me.
          Thought the sun would come deliver me,
          but the truth has come to punish me instead.

          The ground is breaking down right under me.
          Cleanse and purge me
          in the water.

          <img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/answer.gif>
          <br> Err: We get checks from the government and we spend them on beer. Mexican Beer.

          This message was edited by Freakshow on 1-29-04 @ 3:22 PM

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          • #6

            the main problem is i feel like i don&#39;t have anything to look forward to. I hate myself as well. in fact i took the mirror out of my room because i hated seeing myself in the reflection. I only l look in the mirror like in the bathroom and i try to keep my head down while washing my hands so i don&#39;t catch a glimpse. I&#39;m not heidious or anything, i just hate myself.
            I also feel i&#39;m completely alone and that I live every day in the personal hell i&#39;ve created.

            dude, you have major depression and should see a shrink and look into councelling. an anti-depressant and a coucelor should help you straighten things out in as little as 6 months. but definitely look into help. seriously.


            <center><img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=monsterone01">


            MO¥+ErO¥E.
            moe & steels, you
            are greatly missed... you too
            horde king
            </center>

            Comment


            • #7
              ok so if your not hearing voices oe seeing things then your not psychotic. And it doesnt sound like anxiety which is good. When disorders compond on eachother thats when it gets complicated and hard to diagnos (like me).
              Ok from what your saying it does not sound like you are bipolar (manic)
              The name kinda explains the disorder, 2 poles, or two opposite feelings. You have depression but it doesn not sound like you have mania which makes the disorder BI polar. If you were maniac you would have infalted self esteme. You would think you can do more than you really can. Characteritics of mania are; not sleeping, doing things you normally wouldnt do (i.E sleeping around, doing different activities against your morals), often people go out and max theyre credit cards, think they can fly (really extreme).
              You my darling, sound like a depressive, which is unipolar, meaning its a mood disorder lacking mania. This is a good thing because bipolarness is complicated and they like their mania.
              Being snappy, overating, isolating are all hallmarks of depression. You say you dont like counseling but what have you got to lose? When people say they dont like therapy its often cause they dont work in therapy and face issues that are difficult. Your not gonna get any better the way your going, its just gonna get worse and worse, youll isolate more and more, its a downward spiral. try a different therapist. MEdication might be a good idea, and often those adolescence depression dont need medication as an adult. So realize your not alone and alot of people feel the same way. Also keep yourself busy instead of retreating into yourself.
              PM me, its not impossible.

              <IMG SRC="http://img1.photobucket.com/albums/1003/mikeyboy/claresig.jpg">,
              MikeyBoy is hot!

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              • #8
                sure its not just teenage angst?






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                hey my man, what it look like

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                • #9
                  You are totally ruining the blonde cheerleader impression that I first had of you.

                  <center>
                  <marquee>I&#39;m not in love, but I&#39;m gonna fuck you, till somebody better comes along. I&#39;m full of freakiness, so give my kat a kiss. </marquee>
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                  <br>
                  <br>
                  <b>Thank you to ADF, Fluff, and AG for making certain sigs for me!</b>

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                  • #10
                    You are totally ruining the image I had of a little drunken Mogwai tap-dancing on your keyboard. Don&#39;t get wet or eat after midnight!

                    <img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/ESD.gif>
                    Big Ass Mafia Edits

                    Click this link to hear my show on Jersey&#39;s 90.5 The Night FM; (weeknights)-
                    Sunday night/Monday morning through Thursday night/Friday morning- 3 to 5 AM.


                    This message was edited by East Side Dave on 1-29-04 @ 5:32 PM

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                    • #11
                      Sorry, I had to...

                      when im not in this "moom" im usually a very happy person ... who&#39;s 10 pounds lighter

                      me too. I love the moom. Fly me to the &#39;moom&#39;

                      <img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/iamnotatool.gif>
                      Please don&#39;t hold my huge nutbag against me, or I&#39;ll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

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                      • #12
                        Signatures are very dangerous. I can, however, assure you all that I am, in fact, an answering machine. And i&#39;m also Lionel Hutz.

                        That is all.



                        <img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/answer.gif>
                        <br> Err: We get checks from the government and we spend them on beer. Mexican Beer.

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                        • #13
                          Ignore the assholes.


                          A proportionate amount of props are equally distributed to my nigga&#39;s Fluff, Alexxis, CanOfSoup15, WWFallon and Katylina
                          HORDE KING FOREVER!!!
                          ORACLE NEVER!!!

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                          • #14
                            By the way...


                            manic depression or something else?

                            Something else. Life. Deal with it it hun. It gets good. It gets bad.

                            <img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/iamnotatool.gif>
                            Please don&#39;t hold my huge nutbag against me, or I&#39;ll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

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                            • #15

                              Ignore the assholes.
                              You&#39;ve finally admitted it!

                              <center>
                              <marquee>I&#39;m not in love, but I&#39;m gonna fuck you, till somebody better comes along. I&#39;m full of freakiness, so give my kat a kiss. </marquee>
                              <img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=katylina">
                              <a href="http://www.pagerealm.com/katylina/index.html" target=_new>Katylina&#39;s Web Page</a>
                              <br>
                              <br>
                              <b>Thank you to ADF, Fluff, and AG for making certain sigs for me!</b>

                              Comment

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