Is there any way to refuse to be a best man at someones wedding?

[SuperClerk]

I have a friend who I know for almost 14 years now. He is getting married in June. He asked me to be his best man, which I accepted. Now, even though I know this guy for 14 years, we have never really been as close as I have with other friends. He is a very distant and critical guy who always bitched and complained about everything. We never had anything in common, we never really even hung out that often, and when we did he always hated whoever else I was hanging out with.

Even though I accepted his request to be his best man, (which I will fulfill), I was wondering if there is ever a way to refuse a request for such a "prestigious honor"? Especially since I don't even agree with the girl he is marrying. She refuses to be friendly to me or my wife at all. And the few times I have hung out with the both of them, my friend acts like his fiancee isn't even there. He constantly flirts and teases my wife, which he knows I hate. I know he would never go after my wife, but he knows it bugs me and he continues to do it while his clueless, rude fiancee just sits there and looks at her watch.

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[walking joint]

you could probably tell him how you feel or have him read this post and i'm pretty sure you wouldn't be the best man anymore.

[ChrisTheCop]

sleep with his fiance.

<img src="http://rfcop.50megs.com/images/aldukesfan-christhecop.gif">ADF, who else?

[Bob Impact]

I would honestly try to tell him how you feel about the situation, to be honest, as I begin to plan my own wedding the last thing I would want is my bestman to NOT want to be there.

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[SuperClerk]

sleep with his fiance.



u haven't seen her. Woof.

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[FUNKMAN]

It sounds like he asked you because he knew you were a nice guy and would say yes, where probably anybody else would have said no.
You have to nip this in the bud as soon as possible.
Be straight forward and just say that you do not consider your relationship with him as "BEST FRIENDS" which is what a Best Man should be.

You would have to invest a good deal of time and money and this will make you even unhappier with the situation.

If he is a TRUE friend, not the same as BEST friend, then he will understand. If not, then he is no friend at all.

Life will go on for all involved.

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[HordeKing1]

SUPERCLERK - You already accepted his request to be best man. The time to decline has passed and I think he would feel insulted if you know said you're not close enough to him to fill this role.

However, there is one potential way out. If he has brothers, tell him that you've been thinking about being best man, and that you're honored that he would ask you, but that you feel he should ask one of his brothers.


I have a question for you. You describe him in rather unsavory and critical terms. Why do you hang around with him at all? If he bugs your wife, why not tell him to cut the crap?

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[grlNIN]

I think you should just be his best man, even if you dont know the guy to well, he obviously thinks very highly of you otherwise he wouldnt have asked you to be his best man. So i think you should just do it, no matter what your opinion of the guy is

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[furie]

Is there any way to refuse to be a best man at someones wedding?


not without looking like a dick

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[Bama]

Refusing to be the best man is a quick way to end a friendship. Which, from what I've read, might be a good thing in your case.

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[Rizzo]

Just tell him you slept with his future bride. That should do it.

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