Al "FIVE PUMPS" Dukes: Bone Smuggler or just really picky?

[PrivatePyle]

I'd say Ass Pirate, but thats just me.

"Man, you go through life, you try to be nice to people, you struggle to resist the urge to punch'em in the face, and for what?! For some pimply little puke to treat you like dirt unless you're on a team. Well, I'm better than dirt...well most kinds of dirt. I mean, not that fancy, store-bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I can't compete with that stuff."

[scooter]

All i can gather is that Al Dukes has got some serious hang-ups. He's gonna be a 50yr old guy, bald, still eating the same ol' grilled chicken, but w/o a woman, and one huge bank account....

[Five Pumps]

Hmmm, little of column A and a little of column B, I think that Al honestly might be gay, but just really afraid to admit it, not to anyone else, just himself, <i>ala</i> Mr. Garrison. But i also think that there is something else going on here, I think he's hit his midlife crisis at 31 or whatever age he "Claims" to be. I think he's gotta stop acting like a child and look at the world for what it really is. He's not going to find a women in her early 20's thats gonna wanna date an aging hipster-doffus (except fat chicks, they date everyone), he's not going to find a chick thats been with less than 3 guys (including oral) unless he picks them up from the convent. now that i think about it, It seems scooters probably right. Well Al, Have fun sitting on your couch, rubbing your bald head, eating your grilled chicken, and trying to give your dog a red rocket.

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[scooter]

That was great five pumps!!!nice....

[42nd-delay]

We've been discussing this over in the Horde King forum as well. And we still haven't figured it out (of course).

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42nd-delay

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[IkeaBoy]

He could be sexually confused/bicurious

"Nothing can kill The Grimace"

[Bob D.]

al dukes is a fag for sure...

[HordeKing1]

Al's sexual orientation is irrelevant as it is not the cause of his lack of sexual desire.

He gives no indication that he is gay. He is not sexually torn or confused as much as he is asexual. (The impossible criteria he has set up for a sexual partner fits well with his difficulty relating to people).

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/hking

[IkeaBoy]

Good point about asexuality, I don't know how I forgot it being accused of being asexual on a couple of occasions myself.

"Nothing can kill The Grimace"

[F Wad]

i would also say he is asexual

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aka canweseeyourstuff from o&a.com

[stugots]

He reminds me of Pat from SNL- manm or women. Al, gay or straight

Ron&Fez the most underrated radio show!

[Mike from Bklyn]

I don't think he is gay. I think he is scared of women. This five pump thing is really a problem. He wants a young inexperienced girl so maybe she won't know that five pumps is a abnormal.
What Al needs to do is spank it before he goes on a date with these girls. This way he gets rid of the nuisance batch and if he does get lucky he bought himself some time.

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[Brother Rat]

Gay? Straight? Asexual? What does it matter...the real problem seems to be something very deeply planted within Al's emotional state of mind. I know priests with less hang ups. Fabulous Al Dukes is carting around some very heavy baggage I think. See ya at the next Oprah tapping!!