My girlfriend farted in my mouth [Archive]

DJEvelEd

10-02-2003, 04:02 PM

I gave her a really good massage with oil for about an hour. After the massage, I lifted her hips up to give her the "Beso Negro" (Black Kiss) and while I was lifting her and rimming her, she let out a fart. I guess she was sleeping. It had no taste and little smell. It wasn't as bad as I thought it could be. Has this ever happened to you?

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May your Kum Krusted Kocks be Konstantly Kovered in Kunt.

phixion

10-02-2003, 04:11 PM

your a special, special man.

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"Go sit on the toilet and pull and tug on your weiner until white stuff comes out."

Death Metal Moe

10-02-2003, 04:16 PM

Girls don't fart! That's crazy talk.

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<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
<strike>CTC</strike>

high fly

10-02-2003, 04:24 PM

Special is right!
When chicks do that, it's a sort of salute, it's how they say:"You de man!"

" and they ask me why I drink"

reeshy

10-02-2003, 04:27 PM

Just don't talk into my face!!!!

<IMG SRC=http://www.scifi.com/sfw/issue184/cassutt3.jpg>

Katylina

10-02-2003, 04:36 PM

It's a sign that she appreciated your hard work.

<center>
<marquee>I would take it like a champ for Jim Norton. I'm full of freakiness, so give my kat a kiss. My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack</marquee>
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A.J.

10-03-2003, 05:13 AM

"Mmmmm...methane."

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A Skidmark production.

Red Sox Nation

FUNKMAN

10-03-2003, 05:39 AM

thank god you weren't smoking, could've been fatal...

<img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/funkman.gif">

blakjeezis

10-03-2003, 06:15 AM

Besides this being the hottest thread ever, I have a couple of comments/questions:

1. Do you have to pay extra for this?

2. What are you doing rimming your chick while she's sleeping? If she's that far gone, just stick it in and get a little something for your own time and effort.

3a. Was there a noticeable difference in the temperature of the air? Could you feel it get hotter or was it just the sound, smell and taste that alerted you to the fart?

3b. Could you feel the fart? Did your hair blow back and eyelids close like you were sticking your head out of a car window while driving down the highway, or was it just the same warning signs as 3a?

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Hottub

10-03-2003, 06:34 AM

:) :)

Blak, that was lol hilarious.

http://siebert.home.att.net/hosig.jpg

"Ahh, Beer. The cause of, and answer to all of life's problems"

SatCam

10-03-2003, 05:11 PM

If her cheeks were red, you'd know it was her.

ass cheeks that is.

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Thanks for the Sigpic, SatCam, you're the best!
[color=White]

The Nature Boy

10-03-2003, 05:23 PM

Your girlfriend never farted in my mouth.

She did once queef in my ear.

Bon Jovi Fan Since Day ONE!

PanterA

10-03-2003, 06:51 PM

3c. Did you end up with a Dirty Sanchez?

<center><img style="backround:COLOR" style="color:RED" style="border style:double 3px" src="http://members.aol.com/fezwhatleyfan/sig.gif"></center>

DJEvelEd

10-03-2003, 08:12 PM

Besides this being the hottest thread ever, I have a couple of comments/questions:

1. Do you have to pay extra for this?

2. What are you doing rimming your chick while she's sleeping? If she's that far gone, just stick it in and get a little something for your own time and effort.

3a. Was there a noticeable difference in the temperature of the air? Could you feel it get hotter or was it just the sound, smell and taste that alerted you to the fart?

3b. Could you feel the fart? Did your hair blow back and eyelids close like you were sticking your head out of a car window while driving down the highway, or was it just the same warning signs as 3a?

1. I stopped paying after I figured out how to give her orgasms.

2. I didn't know she was sleeping. We've had sex countless times this way. I LOVE it. I feel foreplay is more than just spitting on my dick and ramming it home.

3a. Maybe alittle. It was mostly the sound of "psssupt" that initially alerted me but by then it was on me like stink on shit. A small odor and a taste of Latin spices.

3b. No it was a small poot.

3c. Did you end up with a Dirty Sanchez?

3c. If I did, it got rubbed into my pillow while I was sleeping.

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/canofsoup15/images/dj-sig.gif">
May your Kum Krusted Kocks be Konstantly Kovered in Kunt.

blakjeezis

10-04-2003, 07:15 AM

I feel foreplay is more than just spitting on my dick and ramming it home.

And yet you still feel like a man? Hmmmmm, interesting.

<IMG SRC =http://www.blakjeezis.homestead.com/files/bloodjeez.gif>
If I were any better, I'd have to be twins!!
<marquee>2% White people are so scared of blakjeezis 2%</marquee>

TastelessGinny

10-09-2003, 09:17 PM

3c. Did you end up with a Dirty Sanchez?

Rude and rude!

--Ginny Sanchez

PS: I don't need backrubs to fart. That chick is just too demanding.

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ChickenHawk

10-09-2003, 09:25 PM

I just threw up.

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HORDE KING FOREVER!!!
ORACLE NEVER!!!
<strike>CTC</strike>
<marquee behavior=alternate>EMFA</marquee>

reeshy

10-10-2003, 12:26 AM

I love it when my girlfriend secretly shits in my briefcase so that when I get to work, I get a little surprise!! Isn't love grand??????

<IMG SRC=http://www.freedonia.com/panic/elvis/fat_elvis_twirl.gif>

DJEvelEd

01-07-2005, 05:56 AM

I'm just curious as to what the Google ads will be for THIS one. Especially:

F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST F’CEST

feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces feces

<img src="http://64.177.177.182/katylina/shockposters.jpg">
PUTTING THE FUNNY IN PRESENTLY SEEN DEPTHS
SPONSORED BY: "THE F’CESTOF C’SAR" BY ’SOP c464 B.C.
THIS SHIT-TAINT, FUNNY

Crippler

01-07-2005, 08:05 AM

Apparently...
Free K-8 Lesson Plans

Student plan & run a business. Real world, hands-on learning
...Google sees your analingus-inclusive massages as a money making opportunity. If you should decide to go forward with the idea & need massage techs, please contact me.

http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL77/857148/1548180/71172486.jpg[color=white]

This message was edited by Crippler on 1-7-05 @ 12:06 PM

Tall_James

01-07-2005, 08:06 AM

I got...

Caring for Coastal Waters
Help Protect & Restore Marine Life in Georgia Strait. Give Today.
www.georgiastrait.org

Maybe some plankton came out of her ass when she farted.

The Cheese-Eating Bird (http://cheeseeatingbird.blogspot.com)

Justice4all

01-07-2005, 09:40 AM

Maybe she was just trying to tell you that your breath stinks.

<img src=http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/Justice4All.gif>
"What did he want???"
"What do all men want Phillip?"
"He wants you to dress up like Wonder Woman, tie him up with your golden lariat and force him to tell the truth?????"

Reephdweller

01-07-2005, 09:56 AM

It all makes sense now, mine says "Helping Brain Tumor Patients"

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WRESTLINGFAN

01-08-2005, 06:18 PM

Stephen Lynch has a song "Then She Farted"

Bulldogcakes

01-09-2005, 06:48 AM

DJ, could you tell what she was eating? Broccoli? Cheese? Spinich?

http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL77/857148/1548180/76422236.jpg

Ow! Hey! Get that net offa me! Ouch! Help!! Somebody HELP!!!!

hyperspace

01-10-2005, 12:30 PM

so i guess you all should check out www.dominania.com???

This message was edited by hyperspace on 1-10-05 @ 4:31 PM

Iamnotatool

01-10-2005, 12:37 PM

I bet plankton farts smell really nice.

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/iamnotatool.gif>
Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

DJEvelEd

01-10-2005, 01:00 PM

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:2igE0HpsJUUJ:http://www.fairlyoddparents.net/paintchat/pictures/1088.png

I bet plankton farts smell really nice.

Pull my flagella!!!

<img src="http://64.177.177.182/katylina/shockposters.jpg">
PUTTING THE FUNNY IN PRESENTLY SEEN DEPTHS
SPONSORED BY: "THE F’CESTOF C’SAR" BY ’SOP c464 B.C.
THIS SHIT-TAINT, FUNNY

This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 1-10-05 @ 5:01 PM

Bulldogcakes

01-10-2005, 06:13 PM

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:2igE0HpsJUUJ:http://www.fairlyoddparents.net/paintchat/pictures/1088.png

I bet plankton farts smell really nice.

Pull my flagella!!!

Flagella Flagelence

http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL77/857148/1548180/76422236.jpg

Ow! Hey! Get that net offa me! Ouch! Help!! Somebody HELP!!!!

OneEyeJack

04-12-2009, 06:31 AM

when you enter a busy restroom do you experience Dea Ju Vou ?

Dougie Brootal

04-12-2009, 09:23 AM

... wish i had a girlfriend...

jauble

04-12-2009, 09:25 AM

when you enter a busy restroom do you experience Dea Ju Vou ?

Holy Shit I was wondering what OEJ has been up to the other day.

Sue_Bender

04-12-2009, 09:33 AM

Holy Shit I was wondering what OEJ has been up to the other day.

WHY?!!!

Well, this is what you get.

Congratulations.

jauble

04-12-2009, 09:41 AM

WHY?!!!

Well, this is what you get.

Congratulations.

I was bored and wandering the land of the dead (internet threads)

RoseBlood

04-12-2009, 09:43 AM

... wish i had a girlfriend...

..you have a death wish don't you..? :sad:

Dougie Brootal

04-12-2009, 09:48 AM

..you have a death wish don't you..? :sad:

its starting to look that way isnt it?

ScottFromGA

04-12-2009, 06:14 PM

ok, one time when I was dating my future wife...we went to 69 and she started laughing uncontrollably....soon as I asked what her problem was, she blasted a heat wave across my nose.....

woof.....

britneypablo

04-15-2009, 02:23 PM

i dunno how i missed this one.....ive never had to fart when a man's mouth was all up in my butt....trust me ive wanted to....

and i dunno why im thinkin about this....but PLUMPKINS! would or would you not
clearly i totally....

Cvag

04-15-2009, 02:24 PM

i dunno how i missed this one.....ive never had to fart when a man's mouth was all up in my butt....trust me ive wanted to....

and i dunno why im thinkin about this....but PLUMPKINS! would or would you not
clearly i totally....

Never.

TheGameHHH

04-15-2009, 02:32 PM

i dunno how i missed this one.....ive never had to fart when a man's mouth was all up in my butt....trust me ive wanted to....

and i dunno why im thinkin about this....but PLUMPKINS! would or would you not
clearly i totally....

youre so dirty.......i love it

SatCam

04-15-2009, 03:04 PM

i dunno how i missed this one.....ive never had to fart when a man's mouth was all up in my butt....trust me ive wanted to....

and i dunno why im thinkin about this....but PLUMPKINS! would or would you not
clearly i totally....

it's called a blumpkin and I'll expect you around 8 after I finish this bowl of fiberone

Cvag

04-15-2009, 03:10 PM

I always heard it as a "Plunkin" (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=plunkin)
and I'm not the only one.

raulfd4

04-15-2009, 03:49 PM

that don't make you a bad person

DJEvelEd

04-15-2009, 05:05 PM

This is how I got revenge for her farting in my mouth. NSFW for Gawdsakes!

http://www.keezmovies.com/430018

Kindly fast forward to 7:30 on the video. 7 min 30 sec...

~Katja~

04-15-2009, 05:17 PM

This is how I got revenge for her farting in my mouth. NSFW for Gawdsakes!

http://www.keezmovies.com/430018

Kindly fast forward to 7:30 on the video. 7 min 30 sec...

2 thoughts... gvac will love this... it's the latest neti pot movement

and why did she have to end it with saying "Lecker"
now I feel dirty.

DJEvelEd

04-16-2009, 12:30 PM

2 thoughts... gvac will love this... it's the latest neti pot movement

and why did she have to end it with saying "Lecker"
now I feel dirty.

The Gheys have taken it one step further and are sticking funnels in their pee holes.

What's it called when you have someone else's cum in your penis? There must be a name for it.