I Tapped Out My Penis Today

[DJEvelEd]

I took the day off from work with the intention of sitting around smokin, eating, and jerkin off. I ordered the Direct TV 5 channel porn special at 6AM. I was spraying sperm by 6:15AM. I beat it again at 9:00AM with sperm everywhere. Now at 11:00AM I'm jerkin off and instead of Cumming, I get a few throbs and a dry heave. How long do I have to wait to see sperm again? Do I have to re-order the porn channel at 12:00PM?

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/canofsoup15/images/dj-sig.gif">
May your Kum Krusted Kocks be Konsistantly Kovered in Kunt.

[Jennitalia]

Your parents must be so proud.

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[TheMojoPin]

I'll alert the media.

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2% << December boys got it BAD >> "You might tell some lies about the good times we've had/But I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

[Bill From Yorktown]

jerk

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[A.J.]

I was spraying sperm

Don't you know that every sperm is sacred?

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A Skidmark production.

Red Sox Nation

[Aggie]

Lightweight.

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[mdr55]

Don't touch ANYTHING if you visit DJEvelEd at his house......or invite him to your home (after he told us about that shampoo/conditioner story when he visits hotels).

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[Doctor Manhattan]

Lightweight

Damn right. You mean after 2 sessions you're out? I can't even imagine. I do think the sperm count would be low after a few sessions within a couple hours, but you should have plenty of semen to spray around you house.

You should invest in a jack rag of some kind, I hope you don't invite people to your home...

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[hyperspace]

i find egg whites mixed with onions and peppers seems to really get things moving down there!!

[mdr55]

Are you going to call out tomorrow saying you have a "head-ache"?

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[erole]

you should have a half hour reload time on the sperm shouldn't you? at least that's what I've heard.

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~he knows a little

[kc7586]

i thought only male cats marked their teritory, guess ed's the exception to that rule

<marquee>I am woman hear me roar, bitch, and whine.</marquee>
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<marquee behavior=alternate scrolldelay=30>Vampire girls suck....</marquee>
Good girls are bad girls that dont get caught.
Life's a bitch.....then you strangle one.

[TheMojoPin]

Ed batches like an old man.

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2% << December boys got it BAD >> "You might tell some lies about the good times we've had/But I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

[Death Metal Moe]

We all masturbate, but you fucking creeped me out man.

I think my all time record is way higher than that too. And the dry heave you speak of should take a lot longer to get to. But I guess everyone's bidy is different, and I'm uncomfortable talking about your penis, sperm and prostate with you.

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<strike>Your Mother</strike>
<marquee behavior=alternate><font size=2><b>EMFA</b></font></marquee>

[TheGameHHH]

catching a beat at 6:15am.........that's dedication


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[ChickenHawk]

The reason you take off of work is to sleep in... Yet, you were up at 6:15... Defeating the purpose completely.

oh, and sorry, but you earned it:
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HORDE KING FOREVER!!!
ORACLE NEVER!!!
<strike>Clothing</strike>
<marquee behavior=alternate><font size=2><b>EMFA</b></font></marquee>

[shamus mcfitzy]

I Tapped Out to My Penis Today


it put you in an ankle lock....you had no choice


yeah I jerked it one summer morning about three times in 4 hours, and then after that I was done for a good 18 hours.

[Snoogans]

ive never in my life jacked until dry. i dont think ive ever beat off more than twice in a whole day, and even twice in a day if it happened only happened a time or 2.

CALL YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND PUT YOUR PENIS DOWN

http://wnewsgirl.homestead.com/files/Snoogans.jpg
Silent Bob you one rude motherfucker, she like to go down on you, suck you. line up 2 other guys and make like a circus seal


eww you fuckin faggots, i hate guys, i LOOOOVE WOMEN!

[TheMojoPin]

I don't think I've ever hit a "dry spell". My record was either 8 or 9 times in one day when I was about 15. I think it just hurt more than anything else afterwards, but there was still...uh..."stuff"...

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2% << December boys got it BAD >> "You might tell some lies about the good times we've had/But I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

[Bill From Yorktown]

we should buy his parents a black light for christmas.....

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[Bill From Yorktown]

we should buy his parents a black light for christmas.....

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[shamus mcfitzy]

someone should buy you....a......not.....double-poster


HAHAHAHA, ZING ZING ZING
ZING ZING

[SatCam]

HAHAHAHA, ZING ZING ZING

Sorry, i over used that a while back, and it's not funny anymore.

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Thanks for the Sigpic, Aggie, you're the best!
[color=White]

[shamus mcfitzy]

I ZING who i want to.



I came up with ZINGing. It's mine!!!!

[high fly]

ED, you can do better than that unless you've got something wrong with you.
Only being able to punch the clown 3 times in a day----perhaps this belongs in the "You Know You're A Pothead When" thread.


" and they ask me why I drink"

[Bill From Yorktown]

oh yea I'm so hurt - ok here's on back - "and so are you"..

anyway -

punch the clown

ahh - an El Jefe fan...


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[Snoogans]

Just cause your a pothead doesnt mean you cant nut more than 3 times a day. trust me

http://wnewsgirl.homestead.com/files/Snoogans.jpg
Silent Bob you one rude motherfucker, she like to go down on you, suck you. line up 2 other guys and make like a circus seal


eww you fuckin faggots, i hate guys, i LOOOOVE WOMEN!

[DJEvelEd]

For the record, it was 3 jerks from 6AM-11AM. I could go for some of the real stuff now.










Couldn't you?

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May your Kum Krusted Kocks be Konsistantly Kovered in Kunt.

This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 10-15-03 @ 7:42 PM

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Couldn't you?


Not after reading this thread.

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I always thought that if I held you tightly
You'd always love me like you did back then

[sr71blackbird]

Are you going to call out tomorrow saying you have a "head-ache"?


No, tomorrow will be the "blue ball depreciation thread"

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<center>Many Thanks Soup!</center>

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[mdr55]

Yo DJEvelEd...how's it hanging?

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[Snoogans]

Couldn't you?


Not after reading this thread.


seriously. can this somehow be locked for the sake of sparing our eyes and libido's

http://wnewsgirl.homestead.com/files/Snoogans.jpg
Silent Bob you one rude motherfucker, she like to go down on you, suck you. line up 2 other guys and make like a circus seal


eww you fuckin faggots, i hate guys, i LOOOOVE WOMEN!

[monsterone]

ed, you're a camcorder away from being cosmokrammer. keep that in mind, shockey shockerton

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<marquee behavior=alternate scrolldelay=30>you see, the kids, they listen to the rap music, which gives them the brain damage. with the hippin' and the hoppin' and the bippin' and the boppin'.</Marquee>

[hatetreehighway]

look mom NO hands !

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Thanks Fallon!

[golfcourseguy]

Ed batches like an old man.


Even at the AARP table , folks are snickering.

" editing posts since day one"

[Justice4all]

Ummmm after all that, how can you still read this thread?? Should'nt you be blind?

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Cheer up Red Sox fans.....Anyone can have a bad century!

[high fly]

When mine won't get up anymore, I count it out like a boxing referee.

" and they ask me why I drink"

[El Mudo]

When mine won't get up anymore, I count it out like a boxing referee


Hey if you're gonna run a batch.......run a batch to this....

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Representin' for the Maryland District of RAIDER NATION