My girl will give me anal if I let her do me too [Archive]

Pappy McSchmear

11-09-2003, 06:13 AM

We kinda joked about it, but how bad could it be? I mean she would only be using a small black dildo, it doesn't LOOK all that scary, but I don't know if she will start "goin to town" on my holyist of holees. She's alittle crazy and may really hurt me. Maybe I should go second, in case she bangs me hard, I'll get my revenge after she's done.

Is this a bad idea?

))))Our Schmears Are Your Schmears At Pappy McSchmears((((

Bill From Yorktown

11-09-2003, 07:19 AM

jocefus

11-09-2003, 07:41 AM

3 simple words.... you are gay

http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/jocedong.gif

Big ups to amy, aggie, satcam, and adf for the sigs..

hey my man, what it look like

mdr55

11-09-2003, 07:46 AM

GO for it if that's what you're into. Just because you like it, don't make you a bad person. But hey, who am I to judge. Let us know if you start to walk funny in the morning, like you got something up your butt.

(Place YOUR AD here) Call now!

Nipsey

11-09-2003, 07:47 AM

She may not have any Grey Poupon
but Pappy's girl will be sportin' a strap-on.

Fin.

<IMG SRC="http://www.hstrial-gschwarz.homestead.com/files/nipseysig1.jpg">

DJEvelEd

11-09-2003, 08:15 AM

Have her startout with a thermometer, then a pinky, then 2 fingers, then the dildo will just slide right in. Relax your spinchter and pretend like you're shitting. Soon you'll work your way up to a wiffleball bat or even a gnarled branch.

And Pappy, when you're in there, make sure you work a couple of angles on that hairy starfish,,,

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/canofsoup15/images/dj-sig.gif">
May your Kum Krusted Kocks be Konsistantly Kovered in Kunt.

This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 11-9-03 @ 12:17 PM

billyio

11-09-2003, 08:19 AM

You are certainly willing to give a reach around. Go for it, but you better marry that girl or this will make you a fag.

.

See Ya!

mdr55

11-09-2003, 09:07 AM

Why don't you role-play, like pretend your in jail. Then it would be okay. And you can be your girl's bitch.

(Place YOUR AD here) Call now!

ChickenHawk

11-09-2003, 09:22 AM

<img SRC="http://www.safetecvision.co.uk/usrimage/resuscitation%20of%20children.gif"> <img SRC="http://www.wartsoc.co.uk/images/news29b.gif"> <img SRC="http://www.msha.gov/Accident_Prevention/Tips/images/shock1.gif"> <img SRC="http://www.the-cool-book-shop.com/reading/images/vandgraf.jpg"> <img SRC="http://www.we-r.org/images/Lightn2.gif">

<IMG SRC="http://homepage.mac.com/papabell/.Pictures/chickenhawkshare.gif">
HORDE KING FOREVER!!!
ORACLE NEVER!!!
<strike>Shock</strike>
<marquee behavior=alternate>EMFA</marquee>

TheMojoPin

11-09-2003, 09:33 AM

holyist of holees

Based on the spelling, I'd say it's a mess already.

How's he gay again if it's a girl on the other end?

<img src="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=TheMojoPin">
2% << December boys got it BAD >> "You might tell some lies about the good times we've had/But I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

SatCam

11-09-2003, 09:35 AM

Only if it's a black dildo. Any other color is a no-no

<img src=http://hometown.aol.com/satelitecam/images/sig73_general_mikeyboy.jpg align=right><A HREF=http://www.satelitecam.tk>Ron and Fez Dr0ps and Bits</A>
<a href=http://www.oldronandfezpages.tk>WNEW Ron and Fez Pages</a>
Featuring sigs from Aggie, Toddevf, TallJames and Mikeyboy and an old thanksgiving favorite
[color=White]

high fly

11-09-2003, 12:42 PM

AAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

It's another shock poster!!!

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

" and they ask me why I drink"

hyperspace

11-09-2003, 04:56 PM

it does not count unless she mounts you with a strap on.

Death Metal Moe

11-09-2003, 10:46 PM

Instead of commenting on the subject matter at hand, I have decided to take this opportunity to talk about something that is near and dear to me.

bacon.

It is the best of all breakfast meats by far. You must cook it SLOWLY on a LOW flame. And if you're cooking a pound at a time, throw out some of the grease in the middle of the fry so as not to allow a lot of grease splatter on you and your range.

Thank you.

<IMG SRC=http://unhallowed.com/sigs/dmkh.gif>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
WITH A BODY OF STONE, AND A MIND LIKE... GENIUSNESS!

Bama

11-09-2003, 10:50 PM

I don't like bacon or anal sex. Both make too much of a mess.

http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/bamanation.jpg
YANKEES SUCK

Death Metal Moe

11-09-2003, 10:59 PM

And they could both kill you if you're a gay man.

<IMG SRC=http://unhallowed.com/sigs/dmkh.gif>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
WITH A BODY OF STONE, AND A MIND LIKE... GENIUSNESS!

ChickenHawk

11-09-2003, 11:01 PM

And they could both kill you if you're a gay man.
BBAhahaHaHaHhahahAHhAhAHAHAHAHAAhAHAHAHA!!!!

OHH mAaan!! i'm fuckin' laughing out fucking LOUD. That was seriously CLASSIC... I think what did it for me was how simply confusing it is. It makes no sense... but is HILARIOUS. It's very Jack Handey (Deep Thoughts).

<IMG SRC="http://homepage.mac.com/papabell/.Pictures/chickenhawkshare.gif">
HORDE KING FOREVER!!!
ORACLE NEVER!!!
<strike>Shock</strike>
<marquee behavior=alternate>EMFA</marquee>

Death Metal Moe

11-09-2003, 11:06 PM

Jesus. I've been on a roll for like 2 days now.

I think I better just barricade myself in my room with some Gatorade, popcorn and fruit snacks and write that award winning comedy script I've been needing to make money from because I'm a middle class slob with no hope except for a disabliity claim I may get after I fake an accident on a jobsite or in front of a municipal building this winter for a large out of court settlement.

<IMG SRC=http://unhallowed.com/sigs/dmkh.gif>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
WITH A BODY OF STONE, AND A MIND LIKE... GENIUSNESS!

ChickenHawk

11-09-2003, 11:09 PM

Don't get me wrong, your normal stuff is funny... But this one got me rolling because it took me by surprise. It wasn't the usual Moe humor. It was just... all I can is Jack Handey.

<IMG SRC="http://homepage.mac.com/papabell/.Pictures/chickenhawkshare.gif">
HORDE KING FOREVER!!!
ORACLE NEVER!!!
<strike>Shock</strike>
<marquee behavior=alternate>EMFA</marquee>

Death Metal Moe

11-09-2003, 11:14 PM

OH, ok. Unexpected huh? Well then.................................

SHAZAM!!!!

LAL!

<IMG SRC=http://unhallowed.com/sigs/dmkh.gif>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
WITH A BODY OF STONE, AND A MIND LIKE... GENIUSNESS!

Bama

11-09-2003, 11:15 PM

Humor is a lot more effective when it's shocking.

http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/bamanation.jpg
YANKEES SUCK

ChickenHawk

11-09-2003, 11:16 PM

You can't force genius, Moe.... Just let it flow naturally.

<IMG SRC="http://homepage.mac.com/papabell/.Pictures/chickenhawkshare.gif">
HORDE KING FOREVER!!!
ORACLE NEVER!!!
<strike>Shock</strike>
<marquee behavior=alternate>EMFA</marquee>

This message was edited by ChickenHawk on 11-10-03 @ 3:16 AM

Death Metal Moe

11-09-2003, 11:19 PM

I can force it all I want! MORE OBSCURE REFRENCES!!!!!

http://unhallowed.com/sigs/Dice.jpg

Remember Mask?

What was up with that kid's head?! OOOOOOOO!

I'm topical!

<IMG SRC=http://unhallowed.com/sigs/dmkh.gif>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
WITH A BODY OF STONE, AND A MIND LIKE... GENIUSNESS!

Bama

11-09-2003, 11:28 PM

http://www.vegas.com/shows/clay.jpg

I saw Mask. It had Cher in it.

She was married to Sonny Bono.

HE'S A MIDGIT. OHHHHHHHH

http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/bamanation.jpg
YANKEES SUCK

Death Metal Moe

11-09-2003, 11:31 PM

http://unhallowed.com/sigs/Dice.jpg

And what's UP with this Bono guy? I haven't seen him in years! It's like he's DEAD or something!

AAAAAAA BEGEGEBGEGEGEEEEE!!!

<IMG SRC=http://unhallowed.com/sigs/dmkh.gif>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
WITH A BODY OF STONE, AND A MIND LIKE... GENIUSNESS!

Bama

11-09-2003, 11:38 PM

http://www.vegas.com/shows/clay.jpg

You're talking about Sonny Bono right. Because that other snapperhead Bono from U2 can lick my BALLBAG.

I met his girl at one of my shows. She wanted my MULEJUICE. Achtung baby. OHHHHHHHHHHHH

http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/bamanation.jpg
YANKEES SUCK

This message was edited by bamanation on 11-10-03 @ 3:39 AM

EndangeredFeces

11-09-2003, 11:41 PM

There's nothing funny about someone's untimly death, and I take great offense to you all joking about it.

You will all rot in hell.

<IMG SRC=http://unhallowed.com/sigs/EFanimated.gif>
I am a dirty liar

ChickenHawk

11-09-2003, 11:44 PM

<IMG SRC="http://unhallowed.com/sigs/Dice.jpg">

Here's to you, buddy...

SUCKIN' MY DICK!!! OooHH!!

<IMG SRC="http://homepage.mac.com/papabell/.Pictures/chickenhawkshare.gif">
HORDE KING FOREVER!!!
ORACLE NEVER!!!
<strike>Shock</strike>
<marquee behavior=alternate>EMFA</marquee>

Bama

11-09-2003, 11:47 PM

http://www.vegas.com/shows/clay.jpg

Don't get upset. I love MIDGITS!!!! Do you think anyone else thinks about MIDGETS? I do. Everyday I get up and think "How can a make a MIDGET'S life better today?

So get off your soapbox snapperhead before I trow you off of it. OHHHHHHHHHHH

http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/bamanation.jpg
YANKEES SUCK

EndangeredFeces

11-10-2003, 12:03 AM

I don't know. I never liked this Dice guy that much. Kind of crude, low class humor.

<IMG SRC=http://unhallowed.com/sigs/EFanimated.gif>
I am a dirty liar

shock_poster

11-10-2003, 12:08 AM

http://unhallowed.com/sigs/Dice.jpg

What are you a chick? You like woman comics?

You want some comedian to get up there and say "I wanna have children." THEN START FUCKING. I don't want to marry Bozo I want a blowjob. OHHHHHHHHHH

EndangeredFeces

11-10-2003, 12:12 AM

and watch it die...........

<IMG SRC=http://unhallowed.com/sigs/EFanimated.gif>
I am a dirty liar

reeshy

11-10-2003, 12:39 AM

My ex-wife gave me anal once....it's called a divorce!!!!!!

<IMG SRC=http://hometown.aol.com/satelitecam/images/sig_reeshy.gif>
Satcam makes the very best....sigpics!!

shamus mcfitzy

11-10-2003, 02:29 AM

I know this thread is no place to be giving serious advice, but I figured i'd brea tradition. I don't think it's all that bad to take it in the ass from a girl. I don't know, as long as you know that the experience probably won't be all that good for you, I'd go for it. But definitely go second. You don't want the experience to end with no one getting off and you holding your ass crying and her slowly getting dressed and then leaving you for a mexican pool boy named Cortez.

H
A
H
A
H
A
Y
O
U
'
R
E
G
A
Y

oh yeah, YAAAAAAAAAAAAMBAG!!!!!!!!!

sr71blackbird

11-10-2003, 03:43 AM

2 words..

Abner
Louima

http://images.orgill.com/200x200/5447354.jpg

<center>
http://www.osirusonline.com/sr71.gif </center>

<center>My Thanks to Reefdwella for the sig-pic!</center>

<center><strike>Folgers and Lava</strike></center>

<marquee behavior=alternate>( o Y o )</marquee>

This message was edited by sr71blackbird on 11-10-03 @ 7:53 AM

Pappy McSchmear

11-10-2003, 04:53 AM

I'm still undecided. That place just isn't that important to me to go through such pain, butt maybe. And no Shamus I'm not gay.Butt YOU may be.

))))Our Schmears Are Your Schmears At Pappy McSchmears((((

JohnnyCash

11-10-2003, 10:46 AM

...And no Shamus I'm not gay.

...Yet.

Thanks to Reefdwella for the great Sig Pic.
<IMG SRC="http://www.osirusonline.com/cashsig.gif">

JustJon

11-10-2003, 10:52 AM

Does this upcoming experience include a blindfold for you and Big Jim Slade waiting in the bathroom?

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/rfjustjon9.gif"> <A href="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com">Chaotic Concepts</a>

shellcreatives

11-10-2003, 06:02 PM

Hun, it ain't so bad...
She's getting the bad part, unless you're penis is smaller than the dildo...
Just relax and enjoy it. Ask her to stimulate your prostate, and make sure both of you use condoms (one on your penis, one on the dildo).
Also, I'd recommend an enema kit from the drugstore.

A guy walks into a bar. I forgot the punchline, but your mother's a whore...

Melrapuo

11-10-2003, 06:29 PM

Now everytime I hear something from Andrew Dice Clay I'm gonna have the thought of a black dildo in my head. Great...just great.

<img src="http://www.hometown.aol.com/falsadvirtizment/images/apcsigcrap.bmp">

Somebody please help me with touching up my sigs so they don't look like shit.

My Really Crappy Site (http://www.hometown.aol.com/falsadvirtizment)

YANKEES FAN SINCE BIRTH!

Death Metal Moe

11-10-2003, 06:49 PM

Now everytime I hear something from Andrew Dice Clay I'm gonna have the thought of a black dildo in my head. Great...just great.

Like you didn't before.

<IMG SRC=http://unhallowed.com/sigs/dmkh.gif>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
WITH A BODY OF STONE, AND A MIND LIKE... GENIUSNESS!

shamus mcfitzy

11-11-2003, 12:58 AM

i'm glad that my efforts didn't go unnoticed, Pappy. I was just joking anyway. I was completely genuine with everything in black. I think that it's completely straight. Not my thing, but go ahead.

TheMojoPin

11-11-2003, 08:41 AM

My ex-wife gave me anal once....it's called a divorce!!!!!!

http://www.mdausa.org/images/cel-youngman.jpg

<img src="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=TheMojoPin">
2% << December boys got it BAD >> "You might tell some lies about the good times we've had/But I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

JustJon

11-11-2003, 09:51 AM

Like you didn't before.

It didn't involve Dice till now.

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/rfjustjon9.gif"> <A href="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com">Chaotic Concepts</a>

SatCam

11-11-2003, 09:59 AM

Well, maybe you shouldnt do it if it's gonna become a pain in the butt!!!
ahahahahaah!
Moe, we should become cheech and chong!

<img src=http://hometown.aol.com/satelitecam/images/sig73_general_mikeyboy.jpg align=right><A HREF=http://www.satelitecam.tk>Ron and Fez Dr0ps and Bits</A>
<a href=http://www.oldronandfezpages.tk>WNEW Ron and Fez Pages</a>
Featuring sigs from Aggie, Toddevf, TallJames and Mikeyboy and an old thanksgiving favorite
[color=White]

Death Metal Moe

11-11-2003, 07:31 PM

Moe, we should become cheech and chong!

How about Starsky and Hutch instead? Or the Miami Vice guys? I just can't smoke that much weed man.

<IMG SRC=http://unhallowed.com/sigs/dmkh.gif>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
WITH A BODY OF STONE, AND A MIND LIKE... GENIUSNESS!

Bama

11-11-2003, 07:54 PM

http://unhallowed.com/sigs/Dice.jpg

Just an FYI. Dice is on Tough Crowd tomorrow night.

P.S. DILDO, DILDO, DILDO, BIG BLACK DILDO

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/bamanation.jpg
YANKEES SUCK

TheMojoPin

11-11-2003, 08:00 PM

Moe, we should become cheech and chong!

I think Nathaniel Merriweather & Chest Rockwell are more appropriate.

http://www.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGPORTRAITS/music/portrait200/drp200/p222/p222344rhvi.jpg

<img src="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=TheMojoPin">
2% << December boys got it BAD >> "You might tell some lies about the good times we've had/But I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."