Stupid is as Teacher does...

[Mike Teacher]

Wow; a truly humbling day yesterday.

Can he keep this short?!?!?!

OK: I locked myself out of my house yesterday.
Anyway, Mr. Science, Mr. Know-It-All, after walking around the exterior for an hour, looking in the two places I *know* I hid a key; and trying to devise some cool easy way to get in that surely I can think of; it's hammer time. Had a hammer outside.

So I pick the door with the window; you know the window that's diamond cross hatched, so it's just really a bunch of tiny diamond windows, so you could just break one tiny one and reach into and undo the locks?

Well, Mr. Science temporarily forgets that with a nice strong door, that's actually one big pane of Windshield-strength glass. At least this door was.

The first hit, which was the light 'just gonna break this one pane resulted in me watching the entire pane instntly beading into the million beads that this type of glass makes. I don't know what was quicker, the glass beading [but not breaking, or giving a Bit], or me remembering, of course, you no-talent ass clown; these are exterior doors, metal, with safety, multi-layer sandwiched glass that is designed exactly NOT to break, but to give, and dissapate the energy of the hit over the entire pane.

Which is my rambling way of saying it took two more Human-Ape with the Bone in 2001: A Space Odyssey type swings to get the hammer through the glass.

What a Maroon.

Remind me of how easy it should have been to break in, or maybe not. Do you hide a key? Before anyone asks, literally every person I could go to a neighbor's house and call was Most unavailable on this day; of course. I knew this in advance. And hey, it's just that one tiny diamond of glass, right?

Maybe I should go take a picture; the idiot with the hammer and the hole in the door, your flames will be much better.

Anyway; I really handled that bad. Stupid bad. Not thinking bad.


<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/miketeachr/newsig">

[reeshy]

What's the big deal, Mike? I think most of us have locked ourselves out of the house at least once in our lives. I did it several years ago and was almost shot for my efforts. It was late at night (1am) and my family was in Germany visiting relatives...so no one home. I jimmied one of the backyard windows open and was halfway in when I heard the infamous words "Freeze, asshole or you're dead". My next door neighbor heard me making noise and called the police. ...and there they were!!! Imagine his surprise when after frisking me when he found my piece!!!

<IMG SRC=http://hometown.aol.com/satelitecam/images/sig_reeshy.gif>
Satcam makes the very best....sigpics!!

[TooCute]

LOL, that's actually a funny picture to imagine... but - more than your door, I would be worried about the fact that all your spare keys are missing!!

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/toocute2.gif">

[Katylina]

Have you thought about going into the field of special education? ;)

<center>
<marquee>I would take it like a champ for Jim Norton. I'm full of freakiness, so give my kat a kiss. My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack</marquee>
<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=katylina">
<a href="http://www.pagerealm.com/katylina/index.html" target=_new>Katylina's Web Page</a>
<br>
<br>
<b>Thank you to ADF, Fluff, and AG for making certain sigs for me!</b>

[sr71blackbird]

Must have been something in the air yesterday..
I, for the first time in 20 years, locked my keys in my car! I seriously thought of putting a rock through the window and say the hell with it and thank God for glass coverage before reason got the best of me. At my house, Ive locked myself out twice in 2 years, so now have one of those magnet key holders with a spare key hidden behing my electric meters face plate. I gotta get me another for my car I guess now.
http://www.tagmaster.net/images/DP-299.jpg

<center>
http://www.osirusonline.com/sr71.gif </center>


<center><B>My Thanks to Reefdwella for the sig-pic!</B></center>

<center><B><strike>Folgers and Lava</strike></B></center>

<marquee behavior=alternate><font size=1>( o Y o )</marquee>

[Arienette]

i dont' think i've ever done this.. yet. although my boyfriend's neighboor locked her keys in her apartment recently. i was the only one at his place, so i had no idea where her spare set of keys (that she left with the boy's roommate) were. she decided that someone would have to crawl through the bathroom window, which she was open (after removing the screen). it was a pretty far drop, and a small window. we both thought that we'd kill ourselves trying to slide through it, so... about ten minutes later, adf is diving head first through the window. no fear, it was impressive.

i guess it's not really the same thing, but it's the closest i can come up with...

Imagine his surprise when after frisking me when he found my piece!!!
by piece, do you mean penis?

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aripenguin.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>sometimes the wind blows through the trees<br>and i think i hear you calling me<br>but all i see is snow</center>

[JustJon]

Maybe you should carry two sets of keys at all times.

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/rfjustjon10.gif"><BR><A href="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com">Chaotic Concepts</a>

[Furtherman]

Which is my rambling way of saying it took two more Human-Ape with the Bone in 2001: A Space Odyssey type swings to get the hammer through the glass.


The visual for this is cracking me up. Did you run up, quickly touch the glass, then back up and stare at the window for a while too?

<IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=7">
...with thanks to JustJon

[reeshy]

by piece, do you mean penis?


Yes...I had just gotten off the train!!!!

<IMG SRC=http://hometown.aol.com/satelitecam/images/sig_reeshy.gif>
Satcam makes the very best....sigpics!!

[high fly]

Good one, Furtherman.

I found out long ago, that I'll not just lock myself out of my car or house once, oh no! I'll do it 2 or 3 time in a week.

I've done 2 things to deal with it.
1) a trusted friend has a spare key to my car and house.
2) Before I shut any door to which I have a key, even if it's not locked, I look at the key that goes to that lock. I don't just feel for it in my pocket, I pull it out, look at it, then shut the door.

I carry a couple of key rings, one for my stuff, and the other has keys for the shop I work out of, locks to jobsites and other work-related keys I carry (I am a carpenter).
I also have spare keys in a tool box in the back of my truck.

And people, please, don't hide spare house keys under the doormat or in the mailbox, or any other place that a burglar or neighborhood teenager can see you retrieving it.

" and they ask me why I drink"

[shimdagizzim]

On the day after christmas a few years ago, my key didn't work. I went to the landlords apt. hoping he would call a locksmith and get me let in. He didn't beleive that my key wouldn't work, so he went to my condo with a master key and tried it to no avail.
I followed him to his place where I thought he'd call a locksmith. Instead he grabbed an axe (no shit) He then proceeded to hack the shit out of my door until gaining access. It was then I decided I might need a deadbolt on my door. If your landlord is eastern block european, you will never deal with anyone but him, no matter the occasion

[Fezticle98]

And people, please, don't hide spare house keys under the doormat or in the mailbox, or any other place that a burglar or neighborhood teenager can see you retrieving it.


I like to hide my key in one of those fake rocks. No one ever suspects it.

[TooLowBrow]

2) Before I shut any door to which I have a key, even if it's not locked, I look at the key that goes to that lock. I don't just feel for it in my pocket, I pull it out, look at it, then shut the door.



retard!

[Midkiff]

i used to break into my own truck all the time

i was a fucking dipshit

not anymore

[DolaMight]

i didn't even have to read the whole post to figure out who your mr science is.

http://www.tms.org/pubs/journals/JOM/0105/nye.gif

I'd build a giant vinegar and baking soda volcano in my backyard and insist he take a dip. A dip of death.

[sailor]

why would someone's first post be to resurrect this from 4 years ago?

[DonInNC]

why would someone's first post be to resurrect this from 4 years ago?

Maybe shimdagizzm wants to get off on a good foot with the ol' reliable "getting locked out of the condo" story and did a search for similar stories.

Or maybe shimdagizzm actually typed the reply in 2003 but got an emergency phone call right before he was about to send. "It's mom, your dad is in the hospital". Shimdagizm rushes off, has head-on-collision with tractor trailer, lays in a coma for two years. He finally came home from the hospital yesterday (the cards were wonderful). After a day of testing out the the wheelchair ramp and interviewing home health nurses, he finally gets a chance to hit "Submit Reply".

Or maybe he did hit SEND back in 2003, but his wireless router wasn't configured correctly, so the message propagated halfway to the sun before it reversed course and came back. This theory can be confirmed if a double post shows up sometime in the next two years.

The possibilities are endless.

[sailor]

Maybe shimdagizzm wants to get off on a good foot with the ol' reliable "getting locked out of the condo" story and did a search for similar stories.

Or maybe shimdagizzm actually typed the reply in 2003 but got an emergency phone call right before he was about to send. "It's mom, your dad is in the hospital". Shimdagizm rushes off, has head-on-collision with tractor trailer, lays in a coma for two years. He finally came home from the hospital yesterday (the cards were wonderful). After a day of testing out the the wheelchair ramp and interviewing home health nurses, he finally gets a chance to hit "Submit Reply".

Or maybe he did hit SEND back in 2003, but his wireless router wasn't configured correctly, so the message propagated halfway to the sun before it reversed course and came back. This theory can be confirmed if a double post shows up sometime in the next two years.

The possibilities are endless.

his poor dad. glad to hear everything worked out!

maybe it's a canadian thing. like how in karate kid 8 or whatever all the kids in japan were living thru the sock-hop era.

[drjoek]

why would someone's first post be to resurrect this from 4 years ago?

Im impressed shim is caught up on all the threads back to 2003.:clap: I was at the beach yesterday and I can barely catch up on the last two days of threads

[drjoek]

Let me add my story to the thread. I have a pool in the back yard and no neighbors near by so when ever I go swim I usually do it sans bathing suit if no one is home. No need for another wet suit and I enjoy swimming without. So I swam my laps in the pool then got out and tried to opnn the door which was closed since it was a very hot day all the windows were closed for air conditioning. Well wouldn't you know I hadn't unlatched the sliding door. So I was locked out of the house no clothes just a towel and flip flops every door or window was locked. The dog was at the back door wagging her tail at me from inside. My wife and kids were gone for about 2 1/2 hours. I was not going to wander by the neighbors like that so i went back to the pool for a while then sat on the front porch until they returned.:annoyed:

[Fat_Sunny]

Let me add my story to the thread. I have a pool in the back yard and no neighbors near by so when ever I go swim I usually do it sans bathing suit if no one is home. No need for another wet suit and I enjoy swimming without. So I swam my laps in the pool then got out and tried to opnn the door which was closed since it was a very hot day all the windows were closed for air conditioning. Well wouldn't you know I hadn't unlatched the sliding door. So I was locked out of the house no clothes just a towel and flip flops every door or window was locked. The dog was at the back door wagging her tail at me from inside. My wife and kids were gone for about 2 1/2 hours. I was not going to wander by the neighbors like that so i went back to the pool for a while then sat on the front porch until they returned.:annoyed:


The Good Doctor Needs To Be Careful These Days, What With Google Earth And All!

[SinA]

why would someone's first post be to resurrect this from 4 years ago?

because we've covered everything already, and justjon hates duplicate threads

[DarkHippie]

I got a little misty reading all the posts from old members :down:

[undressa]

aside from being an awfull teenager, I used to lock myself out all the time and knew how to crawl through every window in the house and get caught everytime by my mum. I was 20 by the time she got new windows and by than I had learned to not forget my keyes
the end:clap:

[FUNKMAN]

i had a 75 datsun and on the distributor cap was a wire and clip and if it came loose the car would stall. anyway my girlfriend who lived in wayne was at my place in jersey city with her 2 door toyota. she locked her keys in the car so we got hold of a cop who jimmy-sticked the driver door but couldn't get it open so he jimmy-sticked the passenger and opened the door. we took the keys and relocked the doors by pushing the buttons down.

later on when my girlfriend went to leave we couldn't get either door open with the key, the cop disengaged the connection with the jimmy-stickin so she wound up taking my car home. an hour or two had passed and she didn't make it home yet and I figured the car had stalled on her. this was in 1987 so no cellphones. so I went down and broke the passenger window with a hammer to get in and rode along route 3 and 46 and all the way to her apt. she was there and it turns out she did stall and had the car towed

it was a freezing night and I was freezin my balls off with the window wide open

[lleeder]

I got a little misty reading all the posts from old members :down:

Go punch a retard it will make you feel better.

[DarkHippie]

Go punch a retard it will make you feel better.

would you like the face or the body?

[lleeder]

would you like the face or the body?

The asshole

[DarkHippie]

The asshole

The asshole? oh goody, my favorite!

[PapaBear]

The asshole? oh goody, my favorite!
Are you TRYING to get a new mod quote?

[DarkHippie]

Are you TRYING to get a new mod quote?

I'm just naturally this gay

[sailor]

I'm just naturally this gay

even more gooder.