I'm a dad.

[newport king]

i spent the last 4 days in the hospital with my wife while she had our first child. a baby boy 9lbs 4 oz, 21 3/4 inches. (future linebacker?) it was amazing to see her go through what she did just to get him out. i've never been so proud of someone in my life. i'm sitting here on my couch right now watching her feed/burp him and i can't believe we created something so perfect. i know it's inevitable but i'm bound to mess him up, thats what parents do. so any advice for a new dad since i don't really know what i'm doing with him?
p.s. he likes to piss all over the place when you change him.

~another newport king joint~

[Johnny Fontane]

it was amazing to see her go through what she did just to get him out.


Was she cursing at you?

Oh, and congratulations. As for advice, I don't know shit. Buy him toys or something.

http://www.grandinotizie.it/image/g/000/00040.jpg
"The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis."

[walking joint]

remember to say "mom says no" and you will be fine. great news...congratulations

http://www.silentspic.com/gallery/albums/userpics/10004/RF.JPG
finally a sig...SatCam rules

[JohnnyCash]

Congrats. Thats great news!

<IMG SRC="http://www.osirusonline.com/cashsig.gif">
Thanks to Reefdwella for the great Sig Pic.

[Snoogans]

cigarettes, babies love cigarettes

http://home.comcast.net/~jamesgpatton/image004.jpg
http://www.snoogans.50megs.com/
TallJames is the man
The BCS is a fuckin crock of shit
The Heisman voters have about as much knowledge of things as dexter manly had ability to read
Snoogans 1, Monitor 0

[keithy_19]

Congratulations!

My niece pissed on my moms new carpet while she was being changed. And she laughed when she did it too. And yet my mom wasn't mad. I was like what the hell. I could so pee on the carpet and get beat up and stuff. But when she pisses on it and laughs It doesn't bother her. Well I peed on the couch and carpet when she was sleeping. We'll see who the little girl is now.




They said you'd help me
But as it turns out it was all a lie
And they're off someplace far away laughing at me...

[BoondockSaint]

1. Congrats!!!!!

2. get your Mod quote changed.

3. When the baby starts teething, just rub some bourbon on it's gums. That's what my grandma did to me. No lasting effects either!


/goes to pour more Jim Beam

http://img2.photobucket.com/albums/v11/squrl/bs_sig.jpg
Thanks to monsterone for the sig!

[Snoogans]

you have to be kidding

http://home.comcast.net/~jamesgpatton/image004.jpg
http://www.snoogans.50megs.com/
TallJames is the man
The BCS is a fuckin crock of shit
The Heisman voters have about as much knowledge of things as dexter manly had ability to read
Snoogans 1, Monitor 0

[grlNIN]

Congratulations to you and your wife.




<br><center><img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=2">
<br><font size=1>Torn backwards but it feels just like progress
As I bear my name to the ground once again</font></center>

[keithy_19]

Hey Boon, we did that too my niece. She's teething and it quieted her up. It was neat.

*we only did it because they didn't have this other stuff with them.




They said you'd help me
But as it turns out it was all a lie
And they're off someplace far away laughing at me...

[Emeril]

SO, YOU'RE FOOLIN AROUND ONE DAY AND, BAM! NINE MONTHS LATER YOU'RE A DAD! THATS HOW WE AS A SPECIES PROCREATE!! BAM!!

<img src=http://www.photobucket.com/albums/1003/DefDave/emerilsig.jpg>

[Bill From Yorktown]

send me email directly for more info but these tidbits come to mind
1 - take pictures of every mundane thing; a year from now you'll be suprised how much he's changed
2 - accept ANY offer to help - anything - mow lawn; take out garbage; baby sit so you can sleep
3 - NEVER take your wife for granted - she may be home on maternity leave or may be a full time mom - wait a few weeks and bring her flowers and such - compliment her now and then
4 - the WORST part is the sleep deprivation - try to be the yin to her yang and back each other up in this area and do your best to bit your tongue over the fights over the most trivial of things when you're tired
5 - the first year is a blur; the second you hit a groove; the third INCREDIBLE as they become little
people
6 - never lose sight of the fact that EVERYTHING is new to them so it may seem mundane or silly, but enthrall them. Go with it.
7 - the first birthday is about them and the grandparents; after that it's all about them
8 - they probably wont get much out of the first 2 christmases - wait until that third one
9 - never underestimate the value of a nap - especially when you volunteer to take him out for a walk so the wife can take one
10 - grandparents love pictures
11 - your parents will do silly shit for him they never did for you
12 - learn what a college plan is
13 - even though you keep calling him "buddy" - the first time he calls you that unprompted makes your heart grow 3x (like the grinch)
14 - patience takes time to grow
15 - every now and then pretend like he wouldnt have you around every week (hard to explain but pretend if you and the wife were having difficulites and then separated) and imagine what you'd like to do with him that day and go out and do it - be it the zoo, aquarium, or event the local book store that has a set of Thomas the Tank engine trains set up to play with - just go do something silly - this is my way of saying "no there isnt always tomorrow so sometimes take a step back and live for today"
16 - some assembly required - enuf said

ok now I'm tired and my son is asleep - time to hit the sack.

<IMG SRC="http://hometown.aol.com/billb914/sigpic.gif">

This message was edited by Bill From Yorktown on 12-28-03 @ 12:09 AM

[BoondockSaint]

oh and get DVD's. Barney, The Wiggles....

http://img2.photobucket.com/albums/v11/squrl/bs_sig.jpg
Thanks to monsterone for the sig!

[reeshy]

NO MORE SEX!!!!!!!

<IMG SRC=http://hometown.aol.com/satelitecam/images/sig_reeshy.gif>
It's not censorship because people can't come here and post/say whatever they want in the first place.

[ChrisTheCop]

http://www.twincoveconfections.com/b002.jpg
No advice here, other than never get divorced, thatll fuck a kid up...trust me. Anywho, CONGRATS!

<img src="http://rfcop.50megs.com/images/christmas_blox.gif">

[MizzleTizzle]

My advice is to start drinking heavily.

Ok, so I just watched some of Animal House; anyway; that so rocks! Congrats.

Tall James, and now another new Dad. Must be sumpin in the ronfez dot net water...

[sexy bastard]

congrats

<img src=http://publish.hometown.aol.com/leonj25/myhomepage/sb.jpg?mtbrand=AOL_US>

[FUNKMAN]

Newport,

Congrats and Best Of Health!

i would suggest to video record them throughout the years. my wife made a point of it and i'm glad she did. now that my daughters are 13 and 11 i cannot remember when they were 1, 2, or 3 'at all'. But the videos my wife took are 'precious'

<img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/funkman.gif">

[yarpwizard]

Congratulations, I hope they don't grow up to be brats like my two.

<img src=http://yarpwizard.50megs.com/images/ronfez3.gif>

A mind is a terrible thing to dyworf.

[sr71blackbird]

http://www.elitehighway.com/media/DB3_(small).gif

<center>
http://www.osirusonline.com/sr71.gif </center>


<center><B>My Thanks to Reefdwella for the sig-pic!</B></center>

<center><B><strike>Folgers and Lava</strike></B></center>

<marquee behavior=alternate><font size=1>( o Y o )</marquee>

[irishkb]

congrats.... wish you and your family all the best... and remember the tv is not a babysitter it is a friend... haaa jk.... congrats..

<IMG SRC=http://irishkb.50megs.com/images/bird1.jpg>

<marquee>let's go T-Wolves!!

[DJEvelEd]

NO MORE SEX!!!!!!!

Have the doctor put in an "extra stitch". It'll shave 10 years off the vagina and make sex good & tight again.

Congratulations!

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/canofsoup15/images/dj-sig.gif">
May Your Pockmarked Penis Penetrate A Puckered Poohole Pushing A Partially Processed Poop Pudding Product - (Old Arabic Blessing)

[jax]

Congratulations to you and your wife! Even though all parents worry about screwing up try not to dwell on it just love him and enjoy every minute. .......and remember in 17 years the little f-er will be asking to borrow the car.

[Katylina]

Congratulations!

<center>
<marquee>I'm not in love, but I'm gonna fuck you, till somebody better comes along. I'm full of freakiness, so give my kat a kiss. My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack</marquee>
<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=katylina">
<a href="http://www.pagerealm.com/katylina/index.html" target=_new>Katylina's Web Page</a>
<br>
<br>
<b>Thank you to ADF, Fluff, and AG for making certain sigs for me!</b>

[Tall_James]

First off, congratulations! It is an awesome thing and having just been through it for the second time I can honestly say that it never stops being amazing. Enjoy this but please consider the advice I am about to give.

1. Help out as much as you can. Clean up around the house, get food for your wife, do as much as you can for her because she is pretty preoccupied right now making sure the baby's needs are taken care of. Trust me on this. Keep your lady happy. If she's happy, the baby's happy and you'll be happy.

2. Get sleep when you can. Nap when the kid naps if you can but get ready for losing some sleep.

3. Take your family up on offers to babysit. You two will need time for yourselves. Even if its just for an hour to go to the diner and have a cheeseburger.

Enjoy this...it is an awesome thing.


<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=tall_james">

[kc7586]

congrats man, best of luck, and dont worry about fucking this one up, use it as a guenia pig and the next one should be kinda normal

<marquee>I am woman hear me roar, bitch, and whine.</marquee>
<center>
<IMG SRC="http://publish.hometown.aol.com/vampchick7586/myhomepage/christmassig.gif?">
</center>

<marquee behavior=alternate scrolldelay=30>Vampire girls suck....</marquee>
Good girls are bad girls that dont get caught.
Life's a bitch.....then you strangle one.

[East Side Dave]

Congratulations! You know what we should do? You should invite me over and we'll have Baby Scavenger Hunt in which I'll hide your baby somewhere on your property and give you clues as to where he his! *Hint* He's not by the tool shed!

<img border=2 src="http://members.aol.com/fezwhatleyfan/eastside.gif">
Big Ass Mafia

Click this link (http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/thenight/ppr/index.shtml) to hear my show on Jersey's 90.5 The Night;
Sunday night/Monday morning through Thursday night/Friday morning, 3 to 5 AM.

[SatCam]

Congradualations!
Remember to teach him what his children making ding-a-ling is for so you can be a great-granddad in no time!

<img src=http://satelitecam.com.co.nr/sig79_general_doughboy.jpg align=right><A HREF=http://www.satelitecam.tk>Ron and Fez Drops and Bits</A> | <a href=http://www.oldronandfezpages.tk>WNEW Ron and Fez Pages</a> | <a href=http://www.robanddan.tk/>RobandDan.tk</a>
[color=White]

[high fly]

good one, King!

" and they ask me why I drink"

[scorpion]

Congrats!!!!


<img src="http://www.healthytraining.com/rf/kittycar.jpg">

Now I'm starvin

[mdr55]

Congrats. If you have your reciept, don't forget you can return him unless it's all sales final.

(Just call me POPS) paid for by newport king

[SatCam]

If you only get store credit, get a mexican baby and you'll have endless years of gardening and hedge clipping for free.

<img src=http://satelitecam.com.co.nr/sig79_general_doughboy.jpg align=right><A HREF=http://www.satelitecam.tk>Ron and Fez Drops and Bits</A> | <a href=http://www.oldronandfezpages.tk>WNEW Ron and Fez Pages</a> | <a href=http://www.robanddan.tk/>RobandDan.tk</a>
[color=White]

[newport king]

well day 1 is over at the house. he's pretty cool. nic and quiet for the most part. only cries when he wants to eat. was up at 2/5:30/7/and finally 11:30 this morning i'm getting a little better at changing him. i just dont want his head to fall off or anything when he kind of rolls it. and thanks for the tips guys bill from yorktown and tall james what you guys said was helpful but i think snoogans was right about babies love cigarettes. i'm a smoker (who now wants to give it up so i can stick around and enjoy this little guy longer) he likes sniffing my hand after i smoke. whats that about.

~another newport king joint~

[monsterone]

congrats budday. my only advice, no sleep overs at wacky jacko's house. i've heard things...

<center><IMG SRC="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=monsterone01">


i've come to hate my own creation.
now i know how god feels.</center>

[monsterone]

and emril has the best quotes


<center><IMG SRC="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=monsterone01">


i've come to hate my own creation.
now i know how god feels.</center>

[zathrus]

congrats!!!

<img src="http://tseery.homestead.com/files/nova.jpg" width=300 height=100>

[A.J.]

Congratulations!

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