I'm screwing up and I need help

[SpicyMcHaggis]

As most of you know or haven't known already, I'm eighteen and in college right now. I just finished my first half of my freshman first semester.

I'm screwing up bad. I've missed classes that I forgot to excuse because I was sick. I'm thinking that my study habits are ok but I'm still screwing up in math.

I feel like crap because I just got an e-mail from my mom saying she's disappointed in me.

This isn't the first time this has happened. All through high school this has been the situation and I feel like such a fucking screw up for still having to go through it.

I screw up, get sad, do better, than repeat the cycle. It sucks and I'm fucking fed up with myself. I know I have a lot of potential to be a great student and I just can't believe that I'm still going through all this shit.

I just came back from crying outside of my dorm building in the middle of the empty soccer field feeling pathetic and embarrassed at who I am right now.

I don't want any stupid sympathy, I just want to not screw up anymore. Please, be as honest as you can be. I need help. You guys are the only people besides my parents that I've already talked to that I can trust to help me out.

<img src=http://home.comcast.net/~rmfallon/RFnetSpicy.jpg>
The Book of Mike (http://www.mikeythemallrat.blogspot.com)

[newport king]

I just came back from crying outside of my dorm building in the middle of the empty soccer field feeling pathetic and embarrassed at who I am right now.


were you feeling pathetic and embarassed becasue you were crying? because you should...sorry, had to get that out of the way.

you finished you 1st semester of your freshman year...theres PLENTY of time left. Just tell your mom you're still finding your way there, you don't quite fit in just yet. which would be understandable. Oh and half the shit you're gonna learn in math classes, I don't care what anyone says you will NEVER use it in the real world. Never once has anyone come up to me on the street trying to find out the value of a. as long as you know how to count your money you're ok.

<img src="http://hometown.aol.com/bonedaddy5/images/newportking.jpg">

[FUNKMAN]

cut out the nonsense and make schoolwork a priority in your life... the partying and laziness needs to take a backseat

it's mind over matter and only you can make it work...



<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg">

[JPMNICK]

first semester freshemen year first set of exams:

chem1 - 34
physics1 - 26
calc1 - 17

basically i thought my life was over. all those exams were within a week of each other. iw as fucking up big time. here is what you need to do.

(btw i do not knwo you at all, so i hope icome close)

stop being the cool kid on the floor. drinking everynight in same kids room is gay and stupid. and also a great way to fail. also stop chasing tail. go out on thursday to frat parties to get pussy, leave the poor girls on your floor alone. (i commuted to college, this is just what i have noticed)

ok now here is what you do. it will suck, but it will be 100% worth it.


open excel - days of the week on the top and every 1/2 hour of the entire day down the left hand site.

first thing, schedule in sleep time, at least 6 hours per day. then put in classes.

then for each 1.5 hour class you need to put in at least 1 one hour study session at some point during the week. do not schedule shit for after 8 on thursday friday and saturday besides hang out time. you are never going to stick to it anyway.

time management is huge. i pulled a 2.9 first semester after starting like shit. then next semester i pulled a 3.4 that schedule was huge in this. it makes such a difference.



http://home.comcast.net/~nickcontardo/a_schilling_ft1.jpg
Thanks to Monsterone for my first sig.

[PanterA]

Hey man, life is rough sometimes. Take it from me. I was depressed for close to all my life, I turned to drugs. I self medicated myself for over 10 years. I didnt care about myself, my family, and couldnt stop a long term relationship from falling apart. I didnt see my mother for months apart, never went to family get togethers, didnt spend quality time with my girlfriend at the time, and would sit in my basement, smoke weed from the moment I woke up to the second I passed out. I almost lost my job 3 times, and didnt care. My life was a mess. Until one day I set a goal for myself. I told myself I would never smoke weed again. I said I would make time for my family. I forced myself to get out of my house as much as possible, and even decided to take my job, my career, more seriously. That was only 5 months ago. Since then I have been drug free, much more active then just sitting home smoking weed, I visit my mother and father at least once a week, and have been doing very well at work. So much so that my managers have taken note of it and commented on it. There was no saving the relationship, but the turn out was for the better. I'm finally happy. My life is wonderful, and it's all because I set simple goals for myself and was dead set on full filling them. That's all you really need to do. Set goals for yourself and follow through with them. Nothing major, dont set a goal to become the next billionaire. You say you're struggling in math, so set a day of studing just for math. Search your campus for people looking to tutor. I'm sure there are students willing to tutor you. It cant be that much, if not free. Ask your teacher if there's books or websites he/she recommend you read to help understand the work. Just set yourself some goals and push yourself to follow through. Write down your goal and cross them off when you completed each one. Dont reach too high at first, set simple goals to help you get motivated, then once you completed each one reward yourself. No matter what it is. You'll find that with each goal you set and complete, it will get easier and easier. You cant tell yourself you cant do something. If you keep saying you cant do this, or you'll never understand something, then you'll never do it. Tell yourself that you can do it. You might have to work a little harder but over coming that challenge and proving you can do it will be a reward onto itself.

You have to want to help yourself. Once you want it, and set your goals, it will happen. You just have to believe in yourself.

Good luck.

<center><img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=RFPantera"></center>

[FUNKMAN]

that's a cool story Bobby and not easy to share! glad things worked out for the better!!!



<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg">

[ChickenHawk]

It's kool man. I fucked up my first semester in college. I'm now a junior and I'm still fucking up... It's all good.

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HORDE KING FOREVER!!! ORACLE NEVER!!!
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[TheGameHHH]

I really think PanterA hit it dead on, it's all about setting goals for yourself and striving to reach those goals (minus the weed part he was crazy for giving that up.....though it was best for him and I commend that). That is what life is all about man, proving to yourself that you can do what you set your mind to. I know it sounds corny, but the whole goals thing really works. I slacked academically my entire life, I did just enough to get by (and somehow I still maintained above a 3.0 in argueably the most difficult high school in Jersey on top of an amazingly difficult college). However, when law school came the time for slacking was over. I knew that I had to prove to myself that being a lawyer was what I really wanted to do with my life and in order to get there I had to bust my ass, garduating law school does not come easy, if it did everybody would do it. I'm only 3 months in, and there's no telling if I'll even pass the bar in 3 years time but I do know this, I'm working as hard as I possibly can to make that a reality. Sure I still have time to be social, hang out, drink, and smoke weed.........it's just been cut down by a large amount and I'm ok with that because I know what I'm doing for myself will be worth it in the end because I will reach the goals I set for myself. I wish you the best, but nobody is going to be able to pull you out of the funk youre in other than yourself. Do it for you, set yourself up with goals and work hard to reach them. Best of luck.

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[FUNKMAN]

yeah! and i lost interest in the 4th grade... all i wanted to do was draw with my magic markers

Sister Patricia threw them across the classroom after she caught me doodling while she was teaching, and sent me on a trip to the Principal's office... the most common comment that i'm sure my Mom got tired of hearing was "he's a smart kid if ONLY he would APPLY himself"...

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg">

[PanterA]

that's a cool story Bobby and not easy to share! glad things worked out for the better!!!Thanks, and no it's not easy to admit your faults but I think it's part of healing. Which is a step Spicy has taken with starting this thread.

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This message was edited by PanterA on 10-26-04 @ 12:51 AM

[JPMNICK]

i agree with pantera, admitting you fucked up is hard as hell. but doing something proactive about it and not just sitting around is a close second

http://home.comcast.net/~nickcontardo/a_schilling_ft1.jpg
Thanks to Monsterone for my first sig.

[BooBooKittyFuck]

what type of math classes are you having trouble in? i know of a few online tutoring sites that might help.

<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/images/sigs/booboo1.jpg">

Thx PanterA for the cool Pic

[mdr55]

I'm screwing up bad. I've missed classes that I forgot to excuse because I was sick
When you say sick, do you mean medically sick or something like having a hang over after drinking all night and partying? If it's because of drinking and partying, like the others said you have to cut that shit out and set priorities/goals for yourself that can be realistically achieved.


I used to miss classes too (heck it was college--you're entitled to do that).......but then I came to the realization that I'm paying for that shit so I better get my ass to class. And college isn't cheap.

Maybe you math class has a study group or something that you could get together with. Where do you sit in class? If it's in the back move yourself closer to the front.



Finally, maybe college is not for you at this point in your life. Sometimes people have to find themselves or there's this pre-concieved societal notion that after highschool people have to go to college immediately after graduation. I've met many adult students who returned to college after starting a family, getting a job, etc. So there's nothing wrong with going to college later on in life.

Hafa Adai.

[stickyfingers]

You know what? You have it so easy. You have no one to blame but YOURSELF.

It seems to me that you need to take a look around you. Your Mom is dissapointed, right? Maybe that's because she is paying for your lazy ass to go to school and she feels it is a wasted investment. Take a look at some of your classmates who are working full-time and going to school. You are lucky that isn't you. They HAVE an excuse. You do NOT! I went to college and I missed class. But, if I was doing poorly in a class you better believe I was making it there. You see other people missing class around you and think its okay. Well, maybe for them it is. Maybe they are missing a class that they are getting good grades in.

Don't settle for just being average...work for something. You'll be surprised how developing a good work ethic can be helpful down the road. I worked hard and I got a job I love. Now, I can slack off a little b/c of it. If you slack off now (while you are in school) you will be working hard the rest of your life. So sacrifice the 4 years, do well, and reap the benefits.

OR

Be a shitty student, don't get the job you want, learn a trade and work like a mule the rest of your life.

How's that?

<img src=http://img18.photobucket.com/albums/v53/monster6sixty6/guests/sf2_sig.jpg>

[Mike Teacher]

Thanks, and no it's not easy to admit your faults but I think it's part of healing. Which is a step Spicy has taken with starting this thread.


Wow I'm getting this vision of the last Metallica movie where the guys fess up to all the problems [esp. Hetfield] and get better. A resposible, well behaved Pantera? panthera domesticus?

Actually, that kicks ass; coz thats the same as what I'm doing. No booze in, shit now I have to go back and think, anyway its over 2 and a half years; and sober blows, but being a boozehound that cant put the booze down, like i was, blows worse.

Well done, ummm... Robert P?

= And Spicy just let us know what subjects ya got, we have a bunch of self-procliamed experts [me], and some Real ones, too!

Seriously, for some reasn, this time of year evokes memories of school fuckups exactly and precisely as I did. And many others here, I venture to guess. No worries. Its failing grades, not a Kidney.

So easy to preach, if there was some crystal ball right now in 1982 i'd have a bong stuck to my face in room 315 of stanford hall of villanova watching cartoons on channel 29.

Other shibby heads in dorm room watching bugs bunny: Um, dont you have an 11:30 class?

Me: there no WAY i can go to that class!

them: Why not?

Me: Are you nuts? I missed the last two! Hey watch it you're gonna spill bong puke...

Sound familiar to anyone else?

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This message was edited by Mike Teacher on 10-26-04 @ 11:16 AM

[SpicyMcHaggis]

I gotta thank you guys for laying it all out for me. Just so you know, it wasn't because of drinking or being a ladies man or any stupid shit like that. I don't drink and I don't "chase tail" I was just being a lazy fuck.

Thanks for some of you to being brutally honest. And thanks for some of you guys lifting my spirits up. I talked to my parents and they understand and sure they were disappointed but only because they know what I can do and I'm starting to realize I can do a lot better.

Alright, I have to get back to doing my homework. Thanks a lot guys, and especially Mike the Teacher and PanterA, you guys made me feel a lot better and motivated to do a lot better.

<img src=http://home.comcast.net/~rmfallon/RFnetSpicy.jpg>
The Book of Mike (http://www.mikeythemallrat.blogspot.com)

[furie]

OK, two things i have to get out of the way.
First


As most of you know or haven't known already,


that's everyone in the world. everyone either knows or doesn't know. Second, be a man and stop crying.

Now then. I too fucked up royally my first semester in collage. My second semester wasn't bright either. The first time i ever failed a subject was when I was 18 and in my first semester in college. It was Cal I. This was a total shock to me. I was a honor student in a catholic HS. I was a steady A student with the occasional B+. First college semester:
Cal F
Chem C
PSY D
American History C

My mother also called and expressed her disappointment in me. I had no excuse. I did party, not hard but more than I had when I was home. I spent most of my time learning to live on my own, or at least away from home. I didn't drink heavily, no drugs, but I hung out, tried new things, and met different types of people that I never met in Bethpage, LI. In short, my new surrounding distracted me from my studies.

I buckled down and improved my grades somewhat in the second semester. I ended up transferring out of Buffalo and down to Tampa. I wanted a fresh start. As if the previous year never happened. And in a way it didn't because most of those credits didn't transfer over. I found my groove and did fine from there out..

You need to sit back, evaluate your situation. But don't take it so hard. you're going through what everyone goes through.



<img src="http://homepage.mac.com/furie1335/.Pictures/rfsigs/SimpPulp.jpg">

<a href="http://fallingtowardsapotheosis.blogspot.com/">mental vomit</a>

[keithy_19]

:)

http://64.177.177.182/katylina/tarasig.jpg

[Jennitalia]

Bobby's a wise man.

If you're having problems in math or whatever, you could get together with some other people in your class to go over the work and stuff. Does your professor offer extra help after class? Speak with your professor if you're not getting it. If he/she sees that you're trying to make an extra effort, they're more likely to help you out.



<img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/Janice.jpg>

[SpicyMcHaggis]

Okay, thanks guys. I'm good now, we can kill this thread.

<img src=http://home.comcast.net/~rmfallon/RFnetSpicy.jpg>
The Book of Mike (http://www.mikeythemallrat.blogspot.com)

[keithy_19]

Can I kill it with a pipe and a baby carriage!?

http://64.177.177.182/katylina/tarasig.jpg

[East Side Dave]

My freshman year was bad, too! I missed 25 classes in my Spanish class and got what the spanish call el F! Fuck Senora Marun for failing me!!

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/ESD.gif>
Big Ass Mafia

Click this link (http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/thenight/ppr/index.shtml) to hear my show on 90.5 The Night FM;
Friday and Saturday Night: Midnight to 5 AM you bastards!

This message was edited by East Side Dave on 10-26-04 @ 6:50 PM

[mdr55]

When I first went to Junior college in Mississippi I got a 5-card straight (A,B,C,D & F). I was placed on Academic probation (like I really cared or participated in any activities on campus).

the next semester I got a pair (A, B, C, C & D).

Eventually, I got my butt in gear, read alot and studied hard and got a Full house (A,A,A, B&B).

The point is that you can't learn how to play cards over night, you got to apply yourself to get better. It worked for me.

Hafa Adai.

[East Side Dave]

The point is that you can't learn how to play cards over night.


Unless you're a robot. A robot programmed to learn how to play cards overnight.

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/ESD.gif>
Big Ass Mafia

Click this link (http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/thenight/ppr/index.shtml) to hear my show on 90.5 The Night FM;
Friday and Saturday Night: Midnight to 5 AM you bastards!

[Justice4all]

It seems to me that you need to take a look around you. Your Mom is dissapointed, right? Maybe that's because she is paying for your lazy ass to go to school and she feels it is a wasted investment. Take a look at some of your classmates who are working full-time and going to school. You are lucky that isn't you. They HAVE an excuse. You do NOT! Wow....easy there killer. I can see you are from the 'tough love' school of thought.
Spicy EVERYONE screws up their 1st semester of college. I did, I had a friend who scored a 1380 on his SATs, got into U of Deleware on a scholarship and almost blew it on his first year because he was a partier and lazy person. He enjoyed his freedom too much. It is ok that your mom is disappointed in you. That happens. She still loves you and knows you can do better. That is what she was trying to tell you.
The ball is in your court now. You know what you have to do. Yes it is scary but believe it or not this is nothing as compared to going out into the world after school. You can do it. Have faith in YOURSELF above all others.
These are seriously the best years of your life. Learn to have balance my young padawan learner.
Take some of the advice many of these wise sages have given and apply what fits most in your life.
It is only one semester. Life is not over.
Good luck!!!
Keep us posted here.

<img src=http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/Justice4All.gif>
"What did he want???"
"What do all men want Phillip?"
"He wants you to dress up like Wonder Woman, tie him up with your golden lariat and force him to tell the truth?????"

[mdr55]

I don't know about that. I think stickyfingers was right on the money calling him out. What you want him to do have a "George Bush" view of the world??

Hafa Adai.

[WNEWstinks]

I too fucked up, a 1.8 was my GPA.

It took retaking summer classes to fix my fuck up. I took it like a man.

Also in my senior year of high school one of my teachers told us to make a "5 year plan", it's where we wanted to be at in 5 years. He said take it, write it down, and look at it every day. Do this.

I'M GETTING BILLY STAPLES BIG ASS CARD!!!

[MrPink]

im in the same situation but my grades are allright. you just gotta relax and take good notes then study them when yer not busy. you have plenty of time left anyway so dont sweat it.

"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me"

[SpicyMcHaggis]

UPDATE:

I'm okay now and I'm getting better. Talked things over with the parents and they're glad I'm taking this thing head on. We have a student center here at school and it helped a lot with my math homework. Thanks for all the reassurance guys.

And one more thing...


What you want him to do have a "George Bush" view of the world??


What the fuck does that even mean?!?

<img src=http://home.comcast.net/~rmfallon/RFnetSpicy.jpg>
The Book of Mike (http://www.mikeythemallrat.blogspot.com)

[mdr55]

And one more thing...


What you want him to do have a "George Bush" view of the world??


What the fuck does that even mean?!?



You see the world from rose-colored glasses. Like..."I'm messing up in math, but I'm trying real hard so it doesn't matter. Everything is okay." :)

Hafa Adai.