I had an accident in a swimming pool [Archive]

MrEddiesFather

04-28-2005, 10:43 AM

After a night of mexican food and tequila, I decided to hit the gym this morning. My gym has a huge swimming pool, and after I dove in for a swim I felt a cramp. All of a sudden, I lost control and dumped in my swimming trunks. I pulled them down to clean myself out and swam across to the other side, hoping that nobody would notice. I started praying to myself no floaters, and I was blessed, most sunk to the bottom. I'm so ashamed, but hopefully the chemicals in the water kill anything dangerous.

IrishAlkey

04-28-2005, 10:57 AM

It ain't easy being 83 years old.

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kevcala

04-28-2005, 11:11 AM

quote: but hopefully the chemicals in the water kill anything dangerous.Like what? the kind of guy who craps in the pool?    <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/wink.gif" border="0" /> . . shit happens<img alt="Crud" src="http://home.hvc.rr.com/kevcala/sigpics/kevcala_sig5.jpg" width="301" align="left" border="0" /> "I'll sit back bundled up, I'll sit back here and wait. I remember the past as wonderful though the pictures aren't that great." -atom and his packageBig Ass #22981

This message was edited by kevcala on 4-28-05 @ 3:12 PM

IrishAlkey

04-28-2005, 11:13 AM

He heard somebody say, "I'm gonna' go drop the Cosby kids off at the pool"...He took it literally.

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SatCam

04-28-2005, 11:17 AM

I had an accident in a swimming poolShit and run?

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FUNKMAN

04-28-2005, 12:29 PM

i'll never swim underwater with my mouth open again...

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kevcala

04-28-2005, 12:35 PM

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<MARQUEE>"I'll sit back bundled up, I'll sit back here and wait. I remember the past as wonderful though the pictures aren't that great." -atom and his package</MARQUEE>

Big Ass #22981

FUNKMAN

04-28-2005, 12:44 PM

just keep an eye out on the people at the gym. make sure they're not turning yellow from the hep

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MrPink

04-28-2005, 02:57 PM

did you just leave and not tell the superintendent?

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East Side Dave

04-28-2005, 02:59 PM

Serious question (maybe we should even move the thread to the That's Life forum for this):was there corn in it?

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Death Metal Moe

04-28-2005, 03:12 PM

"They never should've booted me out of reform school Deformed fool,takin a shit in a warm pool They threw me out the Ramada Inn I said it wasn't me, I got a twin (Oh my god its you! Not again!)"

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Alice S. Fuzzybutt

04-28-2005, 03:16 PM

The 21st century version of Jaws: MrEddiesFather.

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TheMojoPin

04-28-2005, 03:50 PM

"This freaks even ME out!!!"<img height="160" src="http://www.moviehole.net/img/triumph.jpg" width="165" border="0" />

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monsterone

04-28-2005, 04:03 PM

come on now, you know you had splatter poopies.  alcohol+mexican food=splatter poopies.  i can only imagine the oil slick following you as you crossed the pool.

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Death Metal Moe

04-28-2005, 04:15 PM

No offence MrEddiesFather, but if I saw what you did and I was pool side, I would have beat your ass.  That is nasty.

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Hottub

04-28-2005, 04:16 PM

If WNEWStinks was on duty, you'd be a dead man.Of course the pool would have to be in DE.

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so does that mean that it was
"THE ORANGE BOWL OF FAILURE?"
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monsterone

04-28-2005, 04:18 PM

i bet it would make a squishy sound and then he'd get gravy legs.

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violent thoughts & prayers

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PaulTheStoner

04-28-2005, 04:21 PM

Swimming while crapping Mexican food-- 
This truly brings the term "wetback" to a new level. <img border="0" src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/flush.gif" /> 


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This message was edited by PaulTheStoner on 4-28-05 @ 8:22 PM

Alice S. Fuzzybutt

04-28-2005, 04:36 PM

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"We sound just like Cheap Trick only the guitars are louder,"
- Kurt Cobain

"I prefer to listen to Cheap Trick."
-Homer Simpson

WhistlePig

04-28-2005, 04:39 PM

God this is disgusting! How'd your butthole get so loose that you couldn't hold it and run to a toilet? Gross, man!

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Iamnotatool

04-28-2005, 05:15 PM

Too many cocks in his ass and a belly full of blown loads.

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Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

Death Metal Moe

04-28-2005, 05:19 PM

quote: Too many cocks in his ass and a belly full of blown loads. <img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/iamnotatool.gif" border="0" /> Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits OK, that was a little rough, but yea.  This is a nasty topic.  I think I may have taken that to the grave.

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sr71blackbird

04-28-2005, 05:41 PM

<img height="105" src="http://www.chrisconrad.com/images/banner98.JPG" width="428" border="0" />Boy thats a long sig!!

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Bulldogcakes

04-28-2005, 06:00 PM

"Mr Eddie" (with 40 posts) Is your REAL name Pantera? 

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Does it bug you that your local pharmacy sells cigarettes and emphysema medicine?

This message was edited by Bulldogcakes on 4-28-05 @ 10:01 PM

PaulTheStoner

04-28-2005, 06:00 PM

quote:<img width="428" height="105" border="0" src="http://www.chrisconrad.com/images/banner98.JPG" />Boy thats a long sig!!

 That's what she said! Oh snap! Oh snap! Holla! <img border="0" src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/lol.gif" /> 

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This message was edited by PaulTheStoner on 4-28-05 @ 10:03 PM

Death Metal Moe

04-28-2005, 06:04 PM

quote:  quote: <img height="105" src="http://www.chrisconrad.com/images/banner98.JPG" width="428" border="0" />Boy thats a long sig!!That's what she said! Oh snap! Oh snap! Holla! <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/lol.gif" border="0" /><img src="http://www.chrisconrad.com/images/banner98.JPG" border="0" /> This message was edited by PaulTheStoner on 4-28-05 @ 10:03 PM Now THAT was funny.  Paul has a chance here.

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PanterA

04-28-2005, 07:38 PM

When you dive in with a splash, and it squirts out of your ass.diarrhea...diarrhea

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DJEvelEd

04-28-2005, 08:47 PM

Two nights ago I had a dream that I reached into the toilet and pulled out a turd, bit off half of it, and spit it out. I chewed it and tasted it too. Seriously what does this mean?

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WhistlePig

04-28-2005, 10:39 PM

I'll look it up in my "turds as phallic symbols" book and get back to ya...

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DJEvelEd

04-29-2005, 04:37 AM

Ya ever get fucked in the ass with a turd? No the OTHER way. Shitting doesn't count...Ya have to freeze it first!If you liked "Turds as Phallic Symbols" ... you'll LOVE "Turds as Lipstick" and "Turds as Grout"

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:) FLING :) :) FLING :) ........... :gasp: SPLATT :gasp: :gasp: SPLATT :gasp:
PUTTING THE FUNNY IN PRESENTLY SEEN DEPTHS
SPONSORED BY:"THE F’CESTOF C’SAR" BY ’SOP c464 B.C.

East Side Dave

04-29-2005, 08:46 AM

I once put chapstick on my dog's lips.

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DJEvelEd

04-29-2005, 09:13 AM

Start off with "Turds For Dummies" then work your way up to the "DaVinci Turd" which is a good shithouse read...I'm currently reading "The Hitchhiker's Turd To The Galaxy" and so far it's pretty fuckin shitty...

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East Side Dave

04-29-2005, 10:03 AM

My dog didn't seem to mind, neither......"good, boy," i told him....

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GwEnYpOo

04-29-2005, 10:18 AM

quote: come on now, you know you had splatter poopies.  alcohol+mexican food=splatter poopies.  i can only imagine the oil slick following you as you crossed the pool.  seriously though , you didn't have diarreah? you ingested mexican and alcohol and you shit solid? that's a miracle in it self . was it at least diarreah-ish? Jack&Gwen ~ 10/5/04 <img src="http://img40.photobucket.com/albums/v124/Canofsoup15/sigs/gwenypoo.jpg" border="0" /> <a href="http://www.ebaumsworld.com/peanutbutter.shtml" target="blank">It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!</a>

This message was edited by GwEnYpOo on 4-29-05 @ 2:24 PM

stickyfingers

04-29-2005, 11:01 AM

tacos, burritos what's comin' outta those speedos?

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MrEddiesFather

04-30-2005, 02:53 PM

I had no control at all. And as for the oil slick aspect, I did eat an entire pizza the night before, I was probably all bound up from the cheese. I know this was not the right thing to do, but would you run and tell the manager that you lost it in his pool? Damn, I was even sweating afterwards, and I was still in the water. As for you assholes who started calling names, I hope your moms die of painful cancer.

OnAPartRock

04-30-2005, 03:19 PM

quote:After
a night of mexican food and tequila, I decided to hit the gym this
morning. My gym has a huge swimming pool, and after I dove in for a
swim I felt a cramp. All of a sudden, I lost control and dumped in my
swimming trunks. I pulled them down to clean myself out and swam across
to the other side, hoping that nobody would notice. I started praying
to myself no floaters, and I was blessed, most sunk to the bottom. I'm so ashamed, but hopefully the chemicals in the water kill anything dangerous.

William Shatner and Tommy Lee had accidents in their pools too...

MY SIG IS TOO BIG

A.J.

05-01-2005, 12:06 AM

So did Brian Jones.

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PapaBear

05-01-2005, 12:18 AM

Talking about swimming pool accidents (I swear this really happened)...  In my town, I think in the 1980's, a kid drowned in the city pool. He was with a group of kids from a school for mentaly challenged kids. He sunk to the bottom of the pool and landed on one of the black stripes that mark the swimming lanes (and he was black). He laid there for several hours in the deep/diving end before anyone noticed him. It was very sad, and it really freaked a lot of people out.

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Bulldogcakes

05-01-2005, 04:30 AM

I had an accident in my swimming pool          http://photos1.blogger.com/img/38/933/640/Redneck%20swimming%20pool.jpgGotta get my brakes done.  

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PanterA

05-02-2005, 05:49 PM

I used to go to the public swimming pool here in Queens when I was younger. I remember this one time I saw a floating bloody maxi pad. And yes I did go back into the pool. I was a kid nothing was going to stop me from going back. I could have come up from underwater and have that thing on my head, and I would have went back in.

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high fly

05-08-2005, 12:01 AM

I just don't believe it.   

" and they ask me why I drink"
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high fly

05-08-2005, 12:05 AM

quote: Ya ever get fucked in the ass with a turd? No the OTHER way. Shitting doesn't count.... C'mon, Ed, doesn't "prairie doggin'" count? You know, when you let a few inches protrude from a good hard-un, then pull it back in, then let it out, then pull it back in...  

" and they ask me why I drink"
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FUNKMAN

05-08-2005, 08:51 AM

this story is very disturding...  turds my stomach... there's no turds that could describe my disgust

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EffMeBoobs

05-14-2005, 11:06 PM

This is why I never go into any public pools, mind you a GYM's
pool.  Imagine all the sweaty pricks that go in for a dip after a
workout.  That's just nasty. 

<img src=http://hometown.aol.com/lqqieee/effmenew.gif>

monsterone

05-15-2005, 12:32 AM

oh a sweaty cooters are so much better?  our balls might reak, but atleast our genitals are not pietre dish. <img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=monsterone01" border="1" /> violent thoughts & prayers

This message was edited by monsterone on 5-15-05 @ 4:33 AM

EffMeBoobs

05-15-2005, 12:37 AM

I wasn't specifically pointing out guys. I meant pricks as in all
sweaty gym people, girls included. Didn't mean to
offend the male race here.....seeya.  EDIT:  Oh and sweaty balls if sweaty enough can be a petri dish as well. 

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This message was edited by EffMeBoobs on 5-15-05 @ 4:41 AM