Best & Worst Things You've Heard In Bed [Archive]

torker

05-06-2005, 08:00 PM

Best ~ I came three times!<img height="408" src="http://www.gophila.com/photos/images/large/Fireworks-SkylineVert02HR.jpg" width="205" border="0" />Worst ~ It's not very hard is it?<img height="251" src="http://www.seniorcitizensmagazine.com/02_07july/pics/puddy1_10.jpg" width="180" border="0" />

[center]<IMG SRC=http://home.comcast.net/~rmfallon/RFnettorker1313.jpg>[center]
[center]Enemy to those who make him an enemy.
Friend to those who have no friend.
[center]

Snoogans

05-06-2005, 08:05 PM

i got called Tom once. that pissed me off so much i actually just got up, got dressed and walked out without sayin a word. best thing i ever heard in bed was "Im gonna go make some breakfast"   thats always good to hear 


<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=Snoogans194">
GO SAWX!!!!! Hassan Eats Dick!!! Snoogans 1, Monitor 0
GIMMIE MY FUCKIN CHANGE, I AINT PLAYIN WIT YOU

Evilpete

05-06-2005, 08:15 PM

Best: you passed the classWorst: who the fuck are you? how did you get into my room?????

IM: Evilpete66
<li><a href="http://www.troubleintheterraces.blogspot.com/
">Blog (AKA random thoughts of a loser):</a></li>

Snoogans

05-06-2005, 08:16 PM

actually i have to check that, i believe i was on a couch when i was called tom 

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=Snoogans194">
GO SAWX!!!!! Hassan Eats Dick!!! Snoogans 1, Monitor 0
GIMMIE MY FUCKIN CHANGE, I AINT PLAYIN WIT YOU

LordJezo

05-07-2005, 11:11 AM

Best: That's the biggest cock I have ever seen. Worst:  That was the worst sex of my life. 

------------------------------------------ 
I KISS YOU!

<a href="http://www.78west.com">The Message Whore - Because if you don't go a puppy will die.<a>

spoon

05-07-2005, 11:18 AM

"i got called Tom once. that pissed me off so much i actually just got up, got dressed and walked out without sayin a word."I guess Snoogans doesn't like when the person he's with calls out his own name!  OHHhHhhhh!

<img src="http://members.aol.com/dxixrxt/spoon2.jpg">

Get your balls out of your purse and step up to flavor!
With whale cancer!
F yeah!

Hottub

05-07-2005, 11:24 AM

"You feel so good inside of me!     Oh   My   GOD!!!!!!!   OH   MY GOD!!!!!!!!   OH MY GOD!!!!""Already?  You BASTARD!"<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v381/artemisentreri/hottub.gif" align="right" border="0" /> so does that mean that it was "THE ORANGE BOWL OF FAILURE?" Staples <a href="http://www.silentpix.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Myalbums&file=thumbnails&album=41" target="blank">See The Cruising Vessel</a> Check out silentpix.com

This message was edited by Hottub on 5-7-05 @ 3:28 PM

torker

05-07-2005, 11:39 AM

quote: <table cellspacing="1" cellpadding="2" width="100%" border="0"><tr><td valign="top" width="110"> </td><td valign="top" colspan="2">Best: That's the biggest cock I have ever seen. Worst:  That was the worst sex of my life.</td></tr></table>  That BRU says the darndest things.  <img src="http://home.comcast.net/~rmfallon/RFnettorker1313.jpg" border="0" /> Enemy to those who make him an enemy. Friend to those who have no friend.

This message was edited by torker1313 on 5-7-05 @ 3:40 PM

OnAPartRock

05-07-2005, 12:22 PM

best: put it in my assworst: can you go down on me? 
 

<img border="0" src="http://img257.echo.cx/img257/6461/afro19oc.jpg" />

This message was edited by OnAPartRock on 5-7-05 @ 4:23 PM

mothershucker

05-07-2005, 01:49 PM

Best: "You are GOD!"Worst: "Daddy, I have AIDS...." What? I thought we where all having fun?

I shucked it, and I shucked it, and I shucked it, i'm quite the mother shucker

ChildofFez

05-07-2005, 02:20 PM

Best:" You made me Cum 37 times in a row"Worst: "It could be a little bigger"

http://hometown.aol.com/metllicat3/images/sig.jpg

A peek into the Life of Boring Interest (http://profiles.myspace.com/users/14086885).

Evilpete

05-07-2005, 07:08 PM

Best: you feel so good inside meworst: oops, forgot to take my pill, but what are the odds that I'd get pregnant THIS time....

IM: Evilpete66
<li><a href="http://www.troubleintheterraces.blogspot.com/
">Blog (AKA random thoughts of a angry white guy):</a></li>

FUNKMAN

05-07-2005, 08:23 PM

best - "you're a much better lover than my 8th degree black belt husband Bob"worst - "Bob, what are you doing home early?"

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg">

monsterone

05-07-2005, 08:26 PM

i told a girl she "f-ed like a champ." this was 7 yrs ago.  she loved it.  

<center><img border=1 src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=monsterone01"> </center>

<center>

violent thoughts & prayers

</center>

high fly

05-07-2005, 11:44 PM

Best: "I've never been fucked like that in all my life!"  Worst:"Is it in?"           No wait, worst would be, "I'm not really 18."  

" and they ask me why I drink"
http://64.177.177.182/katylina/highflysig.jpg
Big ups to sex bomb baby Katylina (LHOOQ) for the sig!

FUNKMAN

05-08-2005, 09:00 AM

best - 'you're slightly larger than anyone who has ever been inside me'worst - 'up til today i've only fucked 3rd graders'

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg">

Jennitalia

05-09-2005, 05:03 AM

best:   you're the absolute best i've ever had.  this just keeps getting better each time with you, baby.worst (but still kinda funny):  shit, the condom fell off.   i think it's still inside you.

<img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/Janice.jpg>

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

fezident

05-09-2005, 06:09 AM

It's not mine but, Dane Cook has a good joke about this:Some times, in bed, I'll say stupid stuff.  Even I don't know what's coming out of my mouth.  The other day, I was having sex and I said the girl: "My dick feels like CORN"She didn't miss a beat.  She turned right around and said "Gimme the butter, Baby, Gimme the butter!"

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v355/tucker71/fezident.jpg

"I'm looking for the 'Make Believe Ballroom'....Don't get fresh, Buddy!"

JohnnyCard

05-09-2005, 06:25 AM

Best-After finishing and I asked her to get me a soda "Wait a few minutes, I can't walk yet". JohnnyCard

walking joint

05-09-2005, 06:43 AM

Best: N/AWorst: Thats it

<img src="http://hometown.aol.com/satelitecam/images/sig_wk.jpg">
thanks for the sig SatCam...and thanks for bringing it back Furie

DJEvelEd

05-09-2005, 07:19 AM

Best: Is that pus or semen in your ass?Worst: I've got your cockscabs stuck in my teeth

:) FLING :) :) FLING :) ........... :gasp: SPLATT :gasp: :gasp: SPLATT :gasp:
PUTTING THE FUNNY IN PRESENTLY SEEN DEPTHS
SPONSORED BY:"THE F’CESTOF C’SAR" BY ’SOP c464 B.C.
<img src="http://64.177.177.182/katylina/shockposters.jpg">

DarkHippie

05-09-2005, 07:23 AM

Best: Oh my god you're tearing me apart!Worst: That's it?

<IMG SRC=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v124/Canofsoup15/Sigs/HippieRat.jpg>
<marquee> Check out DarkHippie's latest story, "Keeper", at http://home.pcisys.net/~drmforge/dftoc2.htm </marquee>

Tall_James

05-09-2005, 08:24 AM

Best?  Hands down it was when she said "Split me with your sword!"  I had to keep from cracking up when she said it.Worst? "What about me?"

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=tall_james"> 

The Cheese-Eating Bird (http://cheeseeatingbird.blogspot.com)

WhistlePig

05-09-2005, 02:10 PM

Best: Can I bring you some ice water?

Worst: Get up! It's past noon!

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y72/WhistlePig/WhistlePigSig2.jpg

You don't know me man! You don't
know me man.

Contra

05-17-2005, 03:59 PM

Best: Wow, I'm surprised you kept up that long

Worst: Get up, your cum is making me feel like I peed.

The thing is none of these were in a bed, but I have nothing that sticks out as best or worse from bed sex.

Another Contra and LSP joint production
<img src=http://members.aol.com/thetoddsterlsp/sigpics/contra1.gif>
Easy come easy go...Live is but a dream...See you space cowboy

FUNKMAN

05-17-2005, 04:28 PM

best - you cam cum on my bellyworst - okay now give me a hug

<img src="http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TwAdA7AVvz2ldnjw80kRVwsu1c7UdrOs1GKJquk79iea0IKr4 RwxKGkJq4aNu7X76!GDtJL9!ZyRCMozmii00zoSpuchIJSY5R8 A1slffKxYEslSCzLIEA/FUNK2.JPG?dc=4675521715404891557">

torker

05-17-2005, 04:57 PM

best & worst - Do you want to try something different?

[center]<IMG SRC=http://home.comcast.net/~rmfallon/RFnettorker1313.jpg>[center]
[center]Enemy to those who make him an enemy.
Friend to those who have no friend.
[center]

Iamnotatool

05-23-2005, 03:00 PM

Best-  Finally, I get to fuck Iamnotatool!!!    To which I replied, "Fuck you Tom, get outa here" I think that mighta been Snoogans. By the way, to the guy that said the worst thing was for a girl to ask him to go down on her, either you ain't a man, or your bitch smells like shit.  Real men eat pussy.  Real men don't fuck dirty pussy.

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/iamnotatool.gif>
Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

Bulldogcakes

05-23-2005, 04:11 PM

Best-"Showtime, baby. Put it in my ass" I get a boner just typing that one Worst-"Now let me stick this in YOUR ass"   <img border="0" src="http://www.onlineseats.com/upload/concerts/294_con_andrew1.gif" /> "Uhhh Nah nah nuh nuh na!" 

<img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v303/Kevin2700/cakescopy.jpg" />

<a target="blank" href="http://bulldogcakes.tripod.com/index.html">My brand spankin new site Bully Baby</a>

Do Siamese twins have to file seperate tax returns? Or do they file jointly?

This message was edited by Bulldogcakes on 5-23-05 @ 8:12 PM