View Full Version : I got stung mowing the lawn. Bastards!
Death Metal Moe
07-24-2005, 12:47 PM
<p>So I was out there in my dumb Gilligan looking hat mowing the hill on our property because skin cancer runs in the family and I want to try to keep my skin covered up. It's a very gay look and it makes me look like a chubby extra on any bad island movie, but you do what you gotta do.</p><p>So as I start mowing I feel this pain on the inside of my right thigh. I scratch it and keep moving, but it hits me again and again. So this time I stopped and looked to see if something was biting me or if I had a piece of whatever shoot up from the lawn mower. Nothing, so I kept moving and finished the job.</p><p>When I was done I still felt some pain where I had felt it before, looked down and saw about 3 small puncture looking red spots. Goddamnit! Something fucking stung me as I was mowing grass! You prick! I guess a wasp or some other stinging insect that can sting more than once was in the grass as I started to mow and decided to sting me. I put some ice on it but felt like a pussy and just delt with it. I guess I'm not allergic because I'm still here.</p><p>Anyone else ever have that? Fucking thing stung me and got away. I will now destroy EVERY stinging insect I see in and around my house for the entire rest of the summer season. It's a JIHAD on flying, stinging insects. I want Field Marshall Duke on this one, because I know he has problems with Hornets as it is.</p>
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ChickenHawk
07-24-2005, 01:20 PM
I guess that's what happens when you... MOE THE LAWN!!! Eh gih-gih-gih!<br><br><br><br>But seriously, this is what you should do: Kill a bee in a brutal manner, and leave it's body out in the open on your front lawn. Then put a sign next to it that says "Tell your friends."
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Death Metal Moe
07-24-2005, 01:29 PM
<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font>I guess that's what happens when you... MOE THE LAWN!!! Eh gih-gih-gih!<br /><br /><br /><br />But seriously, this is what you should do: Kill a bee in a brutal manner, and leave it's body out in the open on your front lawn. Then put a sign next to it that says "Tell your friends." <img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=ChickenHawk" border="0" /><br />HORDE KING FOREVER!!! ORACLE NEVER!!!<br /><strong><strike>Shock</strike></strong><br /><font color="#ff0000"><font size="2"><strong>EMFA</strong></font></font><p> </p><p><font color="#ffffff"><font color="#000000">So you're saying I should hang a bee in my front yard to keep them out of my backyard?</font><br /></font></p>
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ChickenHawk
07-24-2005, 01:44 PM
Use dental floss.
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FUNKMAN
07-24-2005, 03:26 PM
<p>i went to one of my daughters softball games , sat on the bleachers, and when i got home i had a welt on my side with a red circular rash around it about 4 inches in diameter... hurt like a beeotch, get it? 'bee'otch... actually i'm figuring it was a spider bite but i didn't feel anything at the game and it wasn't until i got home</p><p>i was thinking it may have been a boil but it never came to a head or anything and it took several weeks before it faded away. i was being my own doctor using cortizone and bacitracin...</p><p>glad it didn't bite me in the nutsack</p>
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Bulldogcakes
07-24-2005, 04:22 PM
<p> </p><font face="Verdana" style="font-size: 9px;">quote:</font><br />
<p> Goddamnit! Something fucking stung me as I
was mowing grass! You prick! I guess a wasp or some other stinging
insect that can sting more than once was in the grass as I started to
mow and decided to sting me. I put some ice on it but felt like a pussy
and just delt with it. I guess I'm not allergic because I'm still here.</p><p>Anyone
else ever have that? Fucking thing stung me and got away. I will now
destroy EVERY stinging insect I see in and around my house for the
entire rest of the summer season. It's a JIHAD on flying, stinging
insects. I want Field Marshall Duke on this one, because I know he has
problems with Hornets as it is.</p>
<br />
<a href="http://thebigsexxxy.blogspot.com/"></a><br /><img width="321" height="266" border="0" src="http://www.microscope-microscope.org/gallery/Kenn/Bald%20faced%20hornet-1.jpg" /><p> </p><p>"I'm
the prick motherfucker? ME?? I'm minding my own goddamn beeswax
(literally), catching a nap and along comes FUCKING GILLIGAN with the
gay hat who fucks up everything!! You want Jihad YOU GOT IT MOFO!! Ever
heard of stirring up a hornets nest? NEXT STING GOES ON THE HEAD OF YER
LITTLE PRICK!!!" </p>
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Bulldogcakes
07-24-2005, 04:23 PM
<p> </p><font face="Verdana" style="font-size: 9px;">quote:</font>I guess that's what happens when you... MOE THE LAWN!!! Eh gih-gih-gih![/quote]<p> </p><p>Nice! </p><blockquote />
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Do Siamese twins have to file seperate tax returns? Or do they file jointly?
When I was in Korea, we were doing an exercise and after a long night
of chasing fake Koreans, I decided to lay down and use my helmet as a
pillow. I musta dozed off, because I woke up a with a fat lip
that kept getting fatter. My money is on spider bite.<br />
<center><a href="http://somesuch.org" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://www.somesuch.org/sigpics/safetyadf.png"></a><br><br>And that's the end of my show.. donk.</center>
torker
07-24-2005, 08:08 PM
<p>it makes me look like a chubby extra on any bad island movie</p><p>hot...</p><p>the inside of my right thigh</p><p>keep talking, baby....</p><p>so I kept moving and finished the job</p><p>almost there...</p><p>felt like a pussy </p><p><img height="69" src="http://img30.photobucket.com/albums/v90/giogio/101_j_pp_02.gif" width="69" border="0" /></p>
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Alice S. Fuzzybutt
07-25-2005, 01:16 AM
<p>I can't even respond after that.</p>
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SatCam
07-25-2005, 11:23 AM
<p><font size="1">I musta dozed off, because I woke up a with a fat lip that kept getting fatter.</font></p><img src="http://www.artistdirect.com/Images/artd/amg/music/bio/545630_fatlip2_200x200.jpg" border="0" />
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WhistlePig
07-25-2005, 11:53 AM
This sounds unbelievable but 2 years in a row, on the first day of school, I got bitten on the lip by a spider while sleeping. How embarassing to show up to school on the first day with a huge fat lip!
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Tall_James
07-25-2005, 11:59 AM
<p><img height="300" src="http://dammitja.net/vegas/ph-07-22.jpg" width="233" border="0" /></p><p>"That serves you right for not calling me the next morning."</p>
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Jennitalia
07-25-2005, 12:00 PM
when we were kids, my sister a couple of friends and i were playing smurfs and my sister got stung on the eyelid. she was 4 at the time. a couple of years later, i sat on a bee and got stung on my hiney.
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ChickenHawk
07-25-2005, 12:41 PM
There's nothing quite like a Fat Lip reference.
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TheMojoPin
07-25-2005, 12:45 PM
<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font>When I was in Korea, we were doing an exercise and after a long night of chasing fake Koreans, I decided to lay down and use my helmet as a pillow. I musta dozed off, because I woke up a with a fat lip that kept getting fatter. My money is on spider bite.<br /><a href="http://somesuch.org/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.somesuch.org/sigpics/safetyadf.png" border="0" /></a><br /><br />And that's the end of my show.. donk.<p><br />I KNEW you sounded familiar...</p><p><img height="472" src="http://gnu.univ.gda.pl/~sobol/mash/frank3.jpg" width="449" border="0" /></p>
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grlNIN
07-25-2005, 01:10 PM
<p>When i was younger we had an above ground pool with a ladder that
could be lowered and raised to get up onto the deck. One day my brother
thought it would be funny to pull the ladder up and not let me in the
pool. He lost his grip on the handle and it crashed down, shaking the deck and disturbing a huge Wasp nest under it.</p><p>I spent the next 3 hours in and out consciousness & sported a swollen jaw for the better part of a week.<br />
</p>
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Tall_James
07-25-2005, 01:12 PM
<p>I spent the next 3 hours in and out consciousness & sported a swollen jaw for the better part of a week.<br /></p><p>HOT!</p>
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Death Metal Moe
07-26-2005, 03:43 PM
Totally weak man. The sting site never really hurt, but it ITCHES like a son of a bitch! It's just a itchy mess now. And anti itch stuff isn't working, so it's all raw looking because I scratch it like a douche bag.
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Moe... your just having problem, after problem, after problem, after
problem, and you just keep bitchin and bitchin and bitchin and bitchin<br />
"Suck it. Suck it dry"
Death Metal Moe
07-26-2005, 03:58 PM
Yea, it has been a week of bitching. Not much went right lately. I guess everyone who responded thought it was entertaining enough though.
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Death Metal Moe
07-26-2005, 04:03 PM
<p><font size="1">Moe... your just having problem, after problem, after problem, after problem, and you just keep bitchin and bitchin and bitchin and bitchin</font><br /></p><p> </p><p>And it's You're, not your. As in YOU ARE just having problem,....</p>
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<p>think u, I all ways apreciate a god spelling lessen... </p><p> </p><p>Simple typo... sorry your majesty. Sometimes I get carried away and forget to proofread my writing.</p>
"Suck it. Suck it dry"
I went to my parent's house yesterday to do my monthly good deed and cut their hedges. Couple minutes in I got worked over by a couple hornets. Stung 6 times, including one on the ear. Bastards. Low and behold there was a grapefruit-sized nest in the hedges (looked like white-faced hornets according to a book). My father went in last night with the bug spray (you have to wait until they all go home for the evening to sleep) and those fuckers didn't live to see the sunrise.<div><br /></div><div>I've been stung dozens of times by honeybees (I have beekeepers in the family) and they are pussycats compared to a hornet. I screamed like a little bitch.</div>
<p>heres is what u do....u eat the heart of the queen hornets first born child</p><p> </p><p>its proven to work </p><p> </p><p>noitce how i dont have any hornet troubles anymore? </p>
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Death Metal Moe
07-30-2005, 06:47 PM
<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font><p>heres is what u do....u eat the heart of the queen hornets first born child</p><p> </p><p>its proven to work </p><p> </p><p>noitce how i dont have any hornet troubles anymore? </p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v238/duke799/kencaminitisig.jpg" border="0" /> He's got hundreds of little hornet bodies impailed on toothpicks in his room as proof. Sick little prick!<br />
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sr71blackbird
07-30-2005, 08:12 PM
I got stung a few times in my lower leg when reading meters and this old woman brought me in and washed it with ammonia and I thought she was crazy, but it worked! Took the pain right away and I just ended up smelling funny.
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<p> </p><font face="Verdana" style="font-size: 9px;">quote:</font><font face="Verdana" style="font-size: 9px;">quote: </font><p>heres is what u do....u eat the heart of the queen hornets first born child</p><p> </p><p>its proven to work </p><p> </p><p>noitce how i dont have any hornet troubles anymore? </p><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v238/duke799/kencaminitisig.jpg" /> He's got hundreds of little hornet bodies impailed on toothpicks in his room as proof. Sick little prick!<br />
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Death Metal Moe
08-01-2005, 02:54 PM
<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font><p> </p><font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font><font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font><p>heres is what u do....u eat the heart of the queen hornets first born child</p><p> </p><p>its proven to work </p><p> </p><p>noitce how i dont have any hornet troubles anymore? </p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v238/duke799/kencaminitisig.jpg" border="0" /> He's got hundreds of little hornet bodies impailed on toothpicks in his room as proof. Sick little prick!<br /><img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=njdmmoe" border="0" /> <a href="http://www.unhallowed.com/">www.unhallowed.com</a> <a href="http://thebigsexxxy.blogspot.com/">One Big SeXXXy Blog</a> <br /><p> </p><p>moe try it the "process" never lies</p><p> </p><p> </p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v238/duke799/kencaminitisig.jpg" border="0" /> Sounds more like the Final Solution, ya sick little bastard!<br />
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hey hey hey.....im not trying to start a mass genocide of hornets ....oh wait....yes i am <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/devil2.gif" border="0" />
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Death Metal Moe
08-21-2005, 10:44 AM
<p>Mother Fucker. It happened AGAIN!!!!!!!</p><p>The goddamn little black and yellow bastards stung me right below my calf muscle on the back of my leg. It's still stinging with a little pain as I type this. </p><p>Same deal, just mowing the hill next to our house. I went over near a railroad tie wall we have in our back yard, and I got tagged buy one of the little shits. Then I see where they're coming from. I just thought I got stung by a random one last time. Turns out they've built a next in the fucking ground next to the railroad tie wall. They weren't getting away this time.</p><p>I grabbed a can of Hornet/Wasp killer with the really long distance spray, but the nozzle was dead. So I had to settle for some Flying Insect spray. I double canned them, spraying like a mad man on my way to the hole and just unloading on the entrance. But in like an hour I saw that they were going in and out as normal again. Thankfully my grandma had some of the good stuff left in a can. Emptied it out on the whole area, trying to make sure I got a stream of the stuff running down into the nest.</p><p>Fuck You Hornet and Yellow Jackes. If I see ANY activity AT ALL, it's gas and a match. Done.</p>
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Bulldogcakes
08-21-2005, 02:58 PM
Next time you mow the lawn, try rubbing some honey on your legs. Bees love honey, and yellowjackets are scared of Bees. <br />
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Death Metal Moe
08-21-2005, 03:22 PM
<p>OK, since I poured about half a gallon of gas down the hole, not a lot of activity. There's about 5 of the little bastards near the entrance flying near and then flying away. </p><p>THEY GOT NOWHERE ELSE TA GO!!!!</p>
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Stewie
08-21-2005, 03:32 PM
<p>HOLY SHIT, when I referenced this thread in my last post I had no idea it happened again. I HATE those fuckers. I was up on the roof a week ago trying to patch my Chimney with my Dad. Now as it is I HATE roofs, well not so much the roof but the slope of the roof coupled with shingles that are basically little pellets of sand glued to asphalt which is surprisignly slippery. ANYWAY while we were patching the holes in the chimney we noticed a few yellow jackets going into the one hole. I got the good spray and unloaded on it. At least twenty of them popped out and rolled down the roof so I patched the hole with cement. and went on my merry patching way. Next thing I know there are at least ten of them flying around looking for their hole. I was standing amidst at ltheir dead family and naturally they seemed quite pissed and I was on the roof so I got scared shitless. The only thing is NOW there is all that bug spray all over the roof. TURNS OUT that stuff is slippery as hell. so after almost falling off the roof I got to the flat part and climbed down the ladder. I havent been back up there since. Now that I wasted your time with a meaningless post. YELLOWJACKETS MUST DIE. It is my new mission in life to rid the world of these BASTARDS!</p>
Death Metal Moe
08-21-2005, 03:39 PM
You, me and Duke should get together and KILL ALL HORNETS AND YELLOWJACKETS!!!
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Stewie
08-21-2005, 03:44 PM
I am absolutely in.
<p>moe....you didnt listen...and u get stung....</p><p> </p><p>got to follow the process</p><p> </p>
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monsterone
08-21-2005, 11:35 PM
<p>here is my faggoty post:</p><p>so a month or so ago i'm mowing my lawn; very over grown. i go over this patch of grass, and what do i see? a fucking bunny, the size of your palm. w/ a slashed eye. so i freak the fuck out and call an animal hospital. they take it o charge.</p><p>i'm sure they put it down; why rehab it? </p><p>so 2 weeks later, i'm mowing again and go over a patch, that begins throbbing. i stop the mower and find a hole stuffed w/ grass. unplug it and see 2 lil bunnies, the size of 2 fingers. at that point, there is much for me to do. i replug the hole and hope my dog doesn't find it.</p><p>they're gone now, so it seems my boy didn't find 'em. but i have to let nature be nature. </p>
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Bulldogcakes
08-26-2005, 05:20 PM
<h1 class="Headline">Yellow Jackets Attack At Elementary School</h1>
<p> (http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/news/4901634/detail.html)</p><p> </p><p>Officials said the children were walking in a wooded area with adults
from their day-care center when they apparently moved a log, which
turned out to be the nesting spot for the yellow jackets. That got the
yellow jackets buzzing, and before everyone could escape, 11 of the 15
children were stung, along with three adults. </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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DanielSan
09-17-2005, 11:45 PM
<strong><font size="7">FUCK BEES!</font></strong>
dreamcatcher72
09-18-2005, 12:06 AM
<p> </p><p><font size="2">YES!! I am deathly allergic to yellow jackets....have to carry a kit all summer and fall....nasty nasty bees!! Had to be rushed down a mountain a few years ago to some backwoods country doc in vermont for many shots...my face and neck were as big as a Macy's parade balloon....lovely....</font></p>
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PapaBear
09-18-2005, 12:15 AM
<p><font size="2">....have to carry a kit </font></p><p>I remember partying at a friend's house, (back in the 1980's) when his parents were out of town. They had a bunch of those "kits". Some of my friends used them to get a cheap rush. I didn't do any, but they seemed to like it.</p>
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