I ruined a funeral today - Pantera style

[WhistlePig]

I wasn't even going to go. Jill was an acquaintance of mine--not really a close friend. I hadn't even seen her in a few years. But something made me get up after only 4 hours of sleep, cancel a hair appointment and get ready to go. Of course I was running late, I had nothing appropriate to wear and in my haste to leave I put my contacts in the wrong eyes. I figured this out while driving, but I didn't have time to pull over and switch them, so I drove squinting with everything blurry. This of course made me not see the church and get lost, so I arrived late. I got ushered down an aisle and sat alone. I couldn't see if any of my buddies were there--I was blind. Partway through the service I heard an annoying ring/alarm. I rightfully looked around annoyed because I knew before I went into the church I put my phone on "silent" so it wouldn't ring. This thing kept going off every 10 minutes or so, ruining the service. I was thinking "Christ, why doesn't this asshole shut it off?" then with everyone singing the closing hymn, it dawned on me: It was MY phone after all! I had set the alarm on the damn thing to ring to wake me up for my hair appointment. Apparently "silent" mode is just for the ring if someone calls. The alarm still goes off! I had TOTALLY forgotten I had set the alarm, then when I realized I was mortified. I felt like every eye behind me was burning holes in my back. I just wanted out of there. Thankfully, it was the end of the service. I went to the bathroom, switched my eyeballs and went outside. Saw a few people I knew but I swear I was getting disgusted looks. Did they KNOW it was my stupid phone? Of course they did! Then the funeral procession started out. I had no idea where the cemetery was, and figured I could just follow people. Of course I get stuck at the stop sign with tons of traffic going in each direction with the procession getting further away. By the time I pulled out, they were no where in sight. So I took the exit toward home.

I SUCK!!!

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You don't know me man! You don't
know me man.

[Bulldogcakes]

<p>From Dictionary.com</p>
<p><strong>mortified</strong></p>
<p>
adj 1: suffering from tissue death [syn: <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=gangrenous">gangrenous</a>]</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I'd say a poor choice of words for describing a funeral. Your &quot;Pantera&quot;-like day isn't over yet. &nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

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[Tall_James]

<p><img height="150" src="http://www.jeeptick.com/journals/2005/02/verizonguy.jpg" width="159" border="0" /></p><p>Can you hear me know?&nbsp; </p>

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[torker]

<p>And I was pissed at the woman for talking on her cell phone at Red Lobster.&nbsp;</p><p>Nice work.</p>

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[Death Metal Moe]

Oooof.&nbsp; That is AWESOME&nbsp;Cringe Funeral.

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[FUNKMAN]

<p>joke e'm if they can't take a fuck...&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; purely accidental, happens to the best of us...</p>

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[mdr55]

Sounds like you had a good time. Hopefully someone was recording it on video.<br />

[bobrobot]

<p><strong><font color="#000066">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; At least ya didnt wail like a banshee and try to get in the coffin w/ the deceased. I hate it when people do that!</font></strong></p>

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"The book above all others which should be forbidden is a catalogue of forbidden books"
-Lichtenberg

[Justice4all]

<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font>I SUCK!!!&nbsp; <br />Much to the delight of your husband

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"Did you catch all of that in your mouth??"
"You betcha!!!!!"
"That's disgusting"
"Shut up and keep sucking!"

[Reephdweller]

<p>Damn that sucks.</p><p>How could you not tell it was your phone though?</p>

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[sr71blackbird]

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[WhistlePig]

[quote]<font face="Verdana" style="font-size:9px;">quote:<hr color="cococo" align="left"></font><p>Damn that sucks.</p><p>How could you not tell it was your phone though?</p>


It was in my purse on the floor--and I was listening for my ring sound--which it wasn't because it was set on the alarm sound. I hardly use the alarm feature so I wasn't used to the sound. I was SURE it wasn't mine.
ARRAGGH just thinking about this makes me squint with embarassment! Make it go away!!

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You don't know me man! You don't
know me man.

[fiestygal]

<p>THINGS happen to HIM...HE doesn't cause things to happen....</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>and you sir are no PANTERA</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>*SCOFFS*</p>

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AIM- yelowrose1981

Its time to party.... Italian Style

"Let's have a bachelor party! With chicks, and guns, and fire trucks, and hookers, and drugs, and booze!"

[DJEvelEd]

You could have diffused the situation with some pew farting.

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[bobrobot]

<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote:</font><font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana"> <p>Make it go away!! </p></font>Make it go away!! <p><strong><font color="#000066" size="2">Sim Sala Bim.......... GONE!!!</font></strong></p><p><img title="hadji" height="300" alt="hadji" src="http://www.playhere.com/wallpaper/jquestsmall.JPG" width="400" border="0" /></p><p><strong><font color="#000066" size="2" /></strong></p><p><br /></p>

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"The book above all others which should be forbidden is a catalogue of forbidden books"
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[PapaBear]

<p>OUCH!!! </p><p>That would make a good &quot;ever wish you could get away&quot; commercial for that airline.</p><p>Sorry to hear that WP!&nbsp;</p>

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[spoon]

<p>So tell us, did you get up or not?&nbsp; </p><p>I heard they need you for some work in New Orleans and Biloxi.&nbsp; </p>

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Get your balls out of your purse and step up to flavor!
With whale cancer!
F yeah!

[Crippler]

<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font><font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana"><p>Damn that sucks.</p><p>How could you not tell it was your phone though?</p>quote: </font>It was in my purse on the floor--and I was listening for my ring sound--which it wasn't because it was set on the alarm sound. I hardly use the alarm feature so I wasn't used to the sound. I was SURE it wasn't mine. ARRAGGH just thinking about this makes me squint with embarassment! Make it go away!! <p>This part of it&nbsp;I can relate to.&nbsp; The very few times I have used the alarm on my cell, it has scared the crap out of me, and since I was usually waking from sleep, it confused the hell out of me too since it's a ring I'm not used to.&nbsp; I guess I'll count myself as lucky to have never had the situation arise at quite so bad a time.</p>

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http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL77/857148/1548180/93558379.jpg http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL77/857148/1548180/93558379.jpg http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL77/857148/1548180/93558379.jpg http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL77/857148/1548180/93558379.jpg http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL77/857148/1548180/93558379.jpg

[IamFogHat]

You ruined a funeral, eh?&nbsp; Is this before or after the hockey game on the roof?&nbsp;

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The Dude abides
...And I killed Laura Palmer

[spoon]

<p>Nice!</p><p>She only brought one fucking ball!</p>

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Get your balls out of your purse and step up to flavor!
With whale cancer!
F yeah!

[East Side Dave]

<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font><img height="580" src="http://www.coolopticalillusions.com/crazy/images/drunk.jpg" width="480" border="0" /> <strong /><font color="#ff0000"><font size="1" /></font><p>You know how much fun you could have with a girl with two mouths??? </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>...A lot, I'm bettin'!<br /></p>

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[mikeyboy]

<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font><p>Nice!</p><p>She only brought one fucking ball!</p>All I'm saying is if you're gonna be insubordinate, you might as well go the full nine. Don't pussy out when it comes to free shit to drink.<br />

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[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Don't feel bad. I passed out at my dad's funeral. We had to stand while the Russian Orthodox priest burned the incense. The incense makes me nauseous and gives me a migraine. I told my aunt I felt weak and woozy. Did she listen? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I broke a chair.

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[ozzie]

<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font><p><strong><font color="#000066">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; At least ya didnt wail like a banshee and try to get in the coffin w/ the deceased. I hate it when people do that!</font></strong></p><img src="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y46/bobogolem/bobocosmicegg.jpg" border="0" />&quot;The book above all others which should be forbidden is a catalogue of forbidden books&quot;-Lichtenberg<p>&nbsp;</p><p><a href="http://www.ronfez.net/displaymedia.cfm/id/2127" target="_blank">TOM TOM IS DEAD?!?!?</a></p><p><br />...aaaaaand scene.</p>

[FUNKMAN]

<p><font size="1">I passed out at my dad's funeral. We had to stand while the Russian Orthodox priest burned the incense. The incense makes me nauseous and gives me a migraine. I told my aunt I felt weak and woozy</font></p><p>i learned in the Navy that if you stand too long and keep your knees locked you&nbsp;may eventually pass out... almost happened to me, i got nauseaus and dizzy. I didn't throw up but i had to sit on the ground for a minute to help clear my head</p>

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[TheMojoPin]

<p>i learned in the Navy that if you stand too long and keep your knees locked you&nbsp;may eventually pass out...</p><p>THAT old gag...</p>

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[Doctor Manhattan]

<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font>Saw a few people I knew but I swear I was getting disgusted looks. Did they KNOW it was my stupid phone? Of course they did! <p><font color="#990000" size="2">If you didn't actually get the phone (to answer/shut it off) then I don't think anyone knew where it was coming from, You didn't even know where it was coming from.</font></p><p><font color="#990000" size="2">I wouldn't worry about it.</font><br /></p>

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[DanielSan]

what a tool ; )