Take it from me. Dont jump out of bed to pee [Archive]

PanterA

12-10-2005, 02:15 PM

RonFez.Net, it's been 4 months and 12 days since my last confession.Friday morning about 6:15am after hitting the snooze twice, I had the urge to pee so bad. I tried to ignore it to get those 5 precious morning minutes of sleep. I began to rock back and forth to stop myself from wetting the bed. It didn't help...the need to urinate overcame me and I jumped out of my bed and took off to the bathroom. I barely make it in time, my piss stream was so strong I had to hold on to stop my penis from flailing about like an unmanned fire hose. That's when it happened...My face turned numb...a whiteness flashed before me and just like that I black out. On my way down to the cold bathroom tiled floor I smash my face into the shelf behind the toilet. I kind of remember getting up off the floor but then I don't remember anything...that is until I walk into my office.... I got dressed for work, drove my car, and got to work...and I don't remember any of it. I "woke up" just as I was walking through the door at my job. I thought to myself "How the fuck did I get here?" My head was ringing, my eye was puffing out and cut, and I cant remember anything after it happened until that moment. I was bugging out at work. My boss let me go home, and no they didn't make me drive home, someone drove me home. Here's the damage: <img src="http://myspace-309.vo.llnwd.net/00351/90/33/351363309_l.jpg" border="0" />   <img src="http://myspace-521.vo.llnwd.net/00351/12/53/351363521_l.jpg" border="0" /> Now I'm alright. I can see fine out of my eye. There's very little pain...not really pain just annoying. Just a little freaked out that I cant remember anything from the time I fell to the time I got to work. Mostly that I actually drove...I could have killed someone.

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badorties

12-10-2005, 02:34 PM

wow ... just wow

.
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mdr55

12-10-2005, 02:40 PM

Do you have low blood pressure???? 

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Mike Teacher

12-10-2005, 02:45 PM

That's all kinds of fucked up.You could have cracked your skull or got a concussion or lost an eye and lie there dying as your dick did the unmanned hose [or, what I like to call, the Pee Wee Herman Lawn Sprinkler].don't be surprised if a dude with fragile bones who is really into comic books asks you if you've ever taken a sick day. 

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Death Metal Moe

12-10-2005, 04:21 PM

I guess I'll be the one to ask:Did you go to the doctor about blacking out suddenly and for no other reason than taking a wicked piss?  I don't think that's normal.

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Death Metal Moe

12-10-2005, 04:22 PM

Gimmie a fucking break with this shit.  I ain't no Dot Commando, this shit aint right.<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=njdmmoe" border="0" /> <a href="http://www.unhallowed.com/">www.unhallowed.com</a> <a href="http://thebigsexxxy.blogspot.com/">One Big SeXXXy Blog</a> <a href="http://www.myspace.com/deathmetalmoe">Death Metal MySpace</a> DTN

This message was edited by Death Metal Moe on 12-10-05 @ 8:27 PM

Death Metal Moe

12-10-2005, 04:22 PM

Well since I double posted, I'll also say that the haziness all the way to work is pretty fucking bad too.   <img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=njdmmoe" border="0" /> <a href="http://www.unhallowed.com/">www.unhallowed.com</a> <a href="http://thebigsexxxy.blogspot.com/">One Big SeXXXy Blog</a> <a href="http://www.myspace.com/deathmetalmoe">Death Metal MySpace</a> DTN

This message was edited by Death Metal Moe on 12-10-05 @ 8:27 PM

Bulldogcakes

12-10-2005, 06:09 PM

I know you've lost weight recently, are you still on some special diet? It sounds like you had low blood sugar or something. I
wouldn't go too nuts about it, especially since it happened first thing
in the morning. But you might want to sit down on the bowl if you need to pee first thing in the morning. Shorter fall. 


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This message was edited by Bulldogcakes on 12-10-05 @ 10:11 PM

silera

12-10-2005, 06:23 PM

You should be required to wear a helmet and protective padding at all times.

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SatCam

12-10-2005, 06:25 PM

If you're wondering, Bobby, you look fantastic!!!! 

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DJEvelEd

12-10-2005, 07:13 PM

Are you sure you didn't pee into your eye? It happened to me once when I was giving myself a blowjob. I was 10 and I thought it was cum. Good things good things....mazel

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suggums

12-10-2005, 08:29 PM

I'd normally say getting morning wood just to piss is the worst, but you've definitely outshined that one. 

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A.J.

12-10-2005, 09:43 PM

See a doctor -- seriously. Make sure everything is OK.

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monsterone

12-10-2005, 10:07 PM

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Steels

12-10-2005, 10:12 PM

From someone that knows about CATOSTOPHIC events that happpen while waking up as you sleep off a bender to piss can tell you this is just something that happens.  I'm not thinking low blood sugar or diet, im thinking just a hard night of partying is what happened to Pantera.  For real, this subject needs its own thread.  While the girls will have no clue, the guys (whether it is you or a friend's story) have plenty of material on the horrific circumstances men have found themsleves in while waking up to piss while sleeping off a drunk.  I know mine gives me the douche chills just thinking about it.

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HBox

12-10-2005, 10:12 PM

See a doctor -- seriously. Make sure everything is OK.I'll second this. Something like this can't be ignored. 


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Steels

12-10-2005, 10:36 PM

Cut me Mick!

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spoon

12-10-2005, 10:41 PM

It's called postural hypotension.  It can happen to anyone.  You'll be fine big man!  Wait, I mean slim man!

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Steels

12-10-2005, 10:59 PM

I never seen a picture of Pantera.  Unless I'm off, doesn't he looks like Piazza?!?! 

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Bulldogcakes

12-11-2005, 04:45 AM

He does. The only difference is Pantera can throw runners out trying to steal second. 

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PanterA

12-11-2005, 06:29 AM

I'm not going to a doctor. Steels is right, it happened after a night of heavy drinking. A combination of the drinking and jumping out of bed caused me to pass out. There are no bones broken in my face. I might have had a concussion, which is bad but people have lived through that. I'm not really worried about it. Like I said the only thing that scared me is that I drove to work and cant remember it at all.Bulldog, I wouldnt sit on the bowl to pee even if I broke both of my legs. That is too fucking fem! Any man that does that is a closet homo.As far as the Piazza refference...that's the first time I've heard that, but if his wife is reading this...When you're man is off on those long road trips, gimme a call sweet heart.

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Billy Staples

12-11-2005, 07:55 AM

MY God Bobby...from the looks of those pictures, I thought you got back with Lisa Croft feel better  Staples

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PanterA

12-11-2005, 08:25 AM

At least I didnt fall UP any stairs Billy.

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FUNKMAN

12-11-2005, 09:16 AM

it's all fun and games til somebody loses an eye...<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/blink.gif" border="0" />   glad to see it isn't anything worse

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monsterone

12-11-2005, 09:33 AM

quote:At least I didnt fall UP any stairs Billy.

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Death Metal Moe

12-11-2005, 09:34 AM

Take it from me. Dont jump out of bed to pee Yea, just piss yourself in your own bed like a man!

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Mike Teacher

12-11-2005, 10:54 AM

At least I didnt fall UP any stairs Billy. =And he tops the comedy pyramid of his own thread.

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suggums

12-11-2005, 11:30 AM

This thread has a decent shot of getting mentioned on the show.  It's got it all: drama, comedy, and human sufferring.Here's to hoping you'll get one of those shirts for your pain, Pantera. 

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furie

12-11-2005, 11:39 AM

45 days on the beach

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sexy bastard

12-11-2005, 11:55 AM

damn that seriously sucks ass......what you should do is wear depends so you could piss in bed and not have to worry about wetting it....feel better buddy

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Billy Staples

12-11-2005, 02:45 PM

Damn you to hell, Panterafor the record, even I never did that...that is the first I heard of that, even with 7 rehabs under my belt.I can almost hear a Bobby Pantera real american hero budweiser commercial thing for thiswhy are all of your posts or just seems like you having problems with bathroom issues? Staples buy a cd, it'll make you happy

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spoon

12-11-2005, 04:14 PM

Way to fit in the plug you whore!  They should do one of the Bud commercials on your 180 stroke golf round too Billy!  5 letters?  

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Death Metal Moe

12-11-2005, 04:15 PM

I think what Billy was trying to say is<a href="http://www.unhallowed.com/" target="_blank">UNHALLOWED.COM!</a>

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sr71blackbird

12-11-2005, 05:18 PM

Why is it fem if a guy sits to piss once in a while?  You mean to tell me you might be sitting there shittin' and feel the urge to piss and have to stand up and turn around instead??

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PanterA

12-11-2005, 05:46 PM

If you're a man and you are specificly going to the bathroom to take a piss, and you need to bring down the seat, then you secretly want to have a vagina. It's proven in nature. A male dog needs to take a piss, he lifts his legs and lets loose. A female dog needs to pee, she does the hover move. By the way GOD FORBID a man does the hover move while taking a piss outside, you are beyond gay sir. When a man needs to pee there is NO need to bare the ass. Plain and simple.

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Death Metal Moe

12-11-2005, 05:48 PM

When a man needs to pee there is NO need to bare the ass. Plain and simpleMaybe not a need, just a strong desire?

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PanterA

12-11-2005, 05:49 PM

That is unless you have a little one and commonly piss on your balls...I dont know if that might be your case blackbird. <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/innocent.gif" border="0" />

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samnyc

12-11-2005, 05:57 PM

you have to maintain full control of your penis at all times.  you can take an eye out with that thing if you're not careful.  remember point and shoot.

Death Metal Moe

12-11-2005, 06:03 PM

Piss 1st ask questions later.

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sr71blackbird

12-11-2005, 06:14 PM

quote: That is unless you have a little one and commonly piss on your balls...I dont know if that might be your case blackbird. <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/innocent.gif" border="0" /> <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v381/artemisentreri/rfsig4.gif" border="0" /> Dimebag Darryl Abbott 1966 - 2004 <a href="http://www.myspace.com/robentreri2">Find me on MySpace and be my friend!</a> Not!  But what Im saying is, if you taking a shit (sitting) and need to piss, do you stand up and turn around, or do you piss sitting?  I piss sitting.  If I need to piss at 2am, I will of course piss standing.

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sr71blackbird

12-11-2005, 06:15 PM

PissazzA!

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Death Metal Moe

12-11-2005, 06:16 PM

I sometimes shit standing.  Very liberating.

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Death Metal Moe

12-11-2005, 06:24 PM

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FUNKMAN

12-11-2005, 07:04 PM

I sometimes shit standing.  Very liberating. like Ishmail

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Bulldogcakes

12-11-2005, 07:15 PM

Doesn't Fez piss standing up?Kinda ruins the "gay/sitting" theory dont it? 


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PanterA

12-11-2005, 07:44 PM

No that's not the case...You can be gay, pee standing, like football, and wrestling. You just cant be straight and sit down to pee. I dont care if I lost my legs...I would stand on my stumps and arch.

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