Could you marry without love? [Archive]

MHasegawa

02-05-2006, 07:31 AM

I personally say yes to that, I don't have those stupid emotions or feelings like love and compassion.  What I'm getting at is, would you find someone to merge with in a financial sense; maybe combine your earnings to live a stable life while you have your own separate, non-exclusive relations with others? And let me you know if my idea could hold any water, because I've been thinking about this for years. 

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Death Metal Moe

02-05-2006, 07:32 AM

No.I mean I wouldn't even consider getting married without love, not NO as in I won't answer your question.  I guess some people might marry for power or financial gain. <img border="0" src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=njdmmoe" />

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This message was edited by Death Metal Moe on 2-5-06 @ 11:34 AM

furie

02-05-2006, 07:43 AM

no. people suck enough as is. i couldn't imagine spending my life, even with all the "me" time you're proposing, with out loving them or having some semblance of feelings for them.

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Sheeplovr

02-05-2006, 07:58 AM

I don't have those stupid emotions or feelingsHe's a Robot KILL IT KILL IT 

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TheQuestion

02-05-2006, 08:14 AM

Death Metal Moe

02-05-2006, 08:15 AM

quote:How about marrying someone you love deeply, but aren't "in love" with? Someone who is a dear friend with whom you get along famously?

It is something I've been considering for a while now.

  <img border="0" src="http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d16/TheQuestion202/Questions.jpg" /> That is a weird question, The Question.  I guess you earned  your name. I'll have to think about that one but my initial reaction is I could do that, for some reason. <blockquote />

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FUNKMAN

02-05-2006, 08:22 AM

Could you marry without love? sure, people do it all the time. some last and some don't.  some people really don't know what love is, it's not a knock on e'm, love is a tough thing to define. animals will fight and die for their young, is that love or just instinct?some couples make love every day and some once a year and both will remain together for their entire lives. if you watch Maury or Jerry you have people being cheated on, abused, yet still want to stay with the person who is providing the abuse, can you call that love?just some food for thought. if you have mutual respect and enjoy each others company then go for it!

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curtoid

02-05-2006, 08:33 AM

Would you get into a business partnership with someone you didn't like or trust?<div> </div><div>Come up with your own personal distinction between love and primal attraction - a good rule of thumb is after 2-3 years, if this is a person you would absolutely die for, and you are confident they feel the same, then that is as close to love as it gets; if you both want to have children and a family, then get married. </div>

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FUNKMAN

02-05-2006, 08:35 AM

Could you marry without love? sure if she blew you everyday...

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ChrisTheCop

02-05-2006, 09:48 AM

REAL love is a rarity. It is not possible that everyone who is married is also truly in love. Maybe one of them loves the other, but not the other...hence the divorce rate.I think its possible to have a healthy marriage as long as both parties understand it's not really based on love...unless of course...they are one of the very few couples in this world who were "meant" for eachother. Like is a strong enough reason to get married; I'd like you to have a green card, I'd like to have sex with you from time to time, I like how you cook...etc.....just please dont bring kids into it. 

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Death Metal Moe

02-05-2006, 10:23 AM

I think an important thing for people to deal with is lots of us
have this "Ideal Love" in our heads from fairytales and movies.  As we
know, it's a crock of shit.I would never tell anyone to "settle"
in life, but if they're waiting for that special someone to sweep them
off their feet, completely understand them and be with them forever,
they're in for a big let down. 

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newport king

02-05-2006, 10:52 AM

How about marrying someone you love deeply, but aren't "in love" with? Someone who is a dear friend with whom you get along famously? It is something I've been considering for a while now.    <img src="http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d16/TheQuestion202/Questions.jpg" border="0" /> this is the best possible scenario. because once you marry her, sex will be infrequent. so you're better off getting hitched to someone you can at least get along with.as far as the original question, yes you can get married for financial reasons without being in love. as long as its understood on both sides. 

<img src="http://hometown.aol.com/bonedaddy5/images/newportking.jpg">

PapaBear

02-05-2006, 01:29 PM

Love is a myth and I've been married twice. So... yes.

<center><img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=PapaBear"></center><center>Citizens for Cigar Sid & Bitz... 2006!!!</center>

WhistlePig

02-05-2006, 02:07 PM

Arrghh! Fucking safari won't let me use the quote post feature. Ignore this, read below.

This message was edited by WhistlePig on 2-5-06 @ 6:13 PM

WhistlePig

02-05-2006, 02:12 PM

How about marrying someone you love deeply, but aren't "in
love" with? Someone who is a dear friend with whom you get along
famously?

It is something I've been considering for a while now.

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d16/TheQuestion202/
Questions.jpg 

No. And this is not fair to the other person. Don't they deserve to find
someone who is really in love with them, not indifferent? and what if
after you marry this person you fall in love with someone else? Are
you going to dump them or stay out of pity? Again, the other person
does not deserve this. You're not doing them a favor.

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You don't know me man! You don't
know me man.

Death Metal Moe

02-05-2006, 02:15 PM

quote:quote:How about marrying someone you love deeply, but aren't "in
love" with? Someone who is a dear friend with whom you get along
famously?

It is something I've been considering for a while now.

<img border="0" src="http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d16/TheQuestion202/%0AQuestions.jpg" /> 

No. And this is not fair to the other person. Don't they deserve to find
someone who is really in love with them, not indifferent? and what if
after you marry this person you fall in love with someone else? Are
you going to dump them or stay out of pity? Again, the other person
does not deserve this. You're not doing them a favor.

  <img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y72/WhistlePig/WhistlePigSig2.jpg" />

You don't know me man! You don't
know me man. Yea, I rethought my position on this and I agree with WhistlePig now.  I love my friends and family one way, I would love my wife a completely different way.  I would expect different things back from them as well.   It's not a good idea. <blockquote />

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shea_00

02-05-2006, 02:17 PM

marry with or without love it all ends the same....... divorce   booty calls sooo much better

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SatCam

02-05-2006, 04:57 PM

I've thought about it, and I wouldn't be able to do it. First of all, I'd have to agree with what WistlePig said... what if I wanted to marry someone else?

Also, it would just be socially awkward. I'm married to this woman, but we don't show any affection towards each other. I'd basically have to "fake" my love to someone so I wouldn't be ostrasized for marrying a woman "just because."

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[ X ]

suggums

02-05-2006, 06:05 PM

i dunno ask these goons<img border="0" src="http://news.softpedia.com/images/news2/Alec-Baldwin-and-Eric-Stoltz-to-appear-in-the-Will-Grace-live-versions-2.jpg" /> 

<img border="0" src="http://img394.imageshack.us/img394/4237/suggumskilgore5id.jpg" />

This message was edited by suggums on 2-5-06 @ 10:05 PM

A.J.

02-05-2006, 10:14 PM

I couldn't marry WITH love.

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PapaBear

02-05-2006, 11:09 PM

quote: I couldn't marry WITH love. <img src="http://img40.photobucket.com/albums/v124/Canofsoup15/Sigs/AJinDC-Sig.jpg" border="0" /> A Skidmark/canofsoup15 production.Red Sox Nation Too bad Kurt could marry WITH Love...<img height="182" src="http://intellectualize.org/images/courtney-love-finger.jpg" width="140" border="0" /> <img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=PapaBear" border="0" />Citizens for Cigar Sid & Bitz... 2006!!!

This message was edited by PapaBear on 2-6-06 @ 4:13 AM

TheQuestion

02-07-2006, 05:30 PM

Wow. WhistlePig (and subsequently Death Metal Moe) completely misunderstood me.

I said I deeply loved this woman, not that I was "indifferent." You also made it sound like I was thinking of marrying her out of pity or something. Nothing could be further from the truth. We both feel exactly the same way about one another and no one is playing with the other person's emotions in any way.

Also, WhistlePig brought up the scenario that I might fall in love with another person while married. However unlikely, if I did would I be the first person ever to have this happen to them?

Sorry for sounding so defensive, but I just want my points to be clear.

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landarch

02-07-2006, 07:10 PM

I have run into two examples that I can think of recently (and I know it happens everywhere) of couples that stayed together for the money.  The divorce would be too expensive for the man so the woman lived a kept life, spent all the money she could and he screwed whoever he pleased.  She was going to spend his money anyway, and there was obvoiusly no love.  Besides, look at Bill and Hillary Clinton.  The most famous loveless marriage I can think of.  YAYYY! 100 posts!!

GwEnYpOo

02-11-2006, 05:08 AM

i could marry without love , but it would end up in divorce

Death Metal Moe

02-11-2006, 05:15 AM

TheQuestion wrote: Wow. WhistlePig (and subsequently Death Metal Moe) completely misunderstood me. I said I deeply loved this woman, not that I was "indifferent." You also made it sound like I was thinking of marrying her out of pity or something. Nothing could be further from the truth. We both feel exactly the same way about one another and no one is playing with the other person's emotions in any way. Also, WhistlePig brought up the scenario that I might fall in love with another person while married. However unlikely, if I did would I be the first person ever to have this happen to them? Sorry for sounding so defensive, but I just want my points to be clear. <img src="http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d16/TheQuestion202/Questions.jpg" border="0" /> I cannot believe I just typed all that out and the fucking system didn't diplay it.  FUCK!I will try this again.  I don't feel I misunderstood you The Question.I feel that the way you deeply love a friend is completely different than the way you deeply love a spouse.  I think that deep love isn't the worst setting to get married upon though.  People have decided to get married for less.Marriage is a very big descion to make both emotionally and financially.  I would hope my mind was in the right place when I made it.

This message was edited by Death Metal Moe on 2-11-06 @ 9:35 AM

wonderwoman

02-11-2006, 08:39 AM

Could you marry without love? My answer would be Nope. To me there is no point in getting married without love unless you doing it to help someone out for immigration purposes and you make sure you get paid handsomely for it before hand and even then in that case maybe but I would still have to think about it.

Badinia

02-11-2006, 11:08 AM

There was an article in the paper I found interesting about people who wanted to revise their wedding vows from "Til death do us part" to "For as long as our love may last" or "Until we choose to part", and I'll admit that in the face of divorce rates, it sometimes looks ridiculously optimistic to stand there and say, we're gonna beat the odds, goddammit, but if you can't go into it expecting to succeed, it's better not to go into it at all.  If you don't feel love at any time, you may have either Asperger's or sociopathic tendencies, and you may want to spare others the burden of your companionship.<img height="100" src="http://www.badinia.com/uploaded_images/smallbadinia-780345.gif" width="300" border="0" />