Tru story - girl of my dreams/past and current GF [Archive]

saveopieanthony.net

06-01-2006, 09:40 AM

This is a true story...up for comments..hopefully we're all ADults here but I'm looking for comments..thoughts, etc. It is a long story..but it is my life..so read or click on if you don't have attention span. I was devastated by falling in love with a girl 5 years ago..because she wasn't in love with me.  We were really good friends...and I was happy with that...but wanted more.  More than that I didn't want to make a move because I didn't want her to push back / pull away when I did make a move.  We worked in the same office and were fresh out of college...about 23-24 years old.  Long story short she broke my heart more than anyone did.  She knew I liked her...EVERYone at the office did.  Anyway first she hooked up with my boss (loud fat loser with a guitar who played at our christmas party) and I found out and was crushed...then I called her out on "hooking up" with this other guy...she denied it...and proceded to move in with him about 4 years ago.  Apparently I was the last one who knew they hooked up..even my friends kept it quiet because they knew how I felt about her...and then they moved into together...first into a 2 bedroom...and like an idiot I still hung out with her...and him... and then they moved into a one bedroom a year later...and I stopped hanging out with them.  I basically cut the two of them out of my life.  I was an out of sight, out of mind guy.  Everyone knew it bothered me and I was crushed when I would bump into them at parties where all of us would get together,  and I would "disappear" when they were together.  I just mentally couldn't deal with this girl banging this guy...I could imagine no one...except for me.  It was not just sexual attraction with this "girl of my dreams.."...some of my friends think she's not that hot.  She is cte, but they didn't understand why I couldn't shake her from my thoughts...but she was always amazing to me.  Anyway fast forward....I go on about a 3 year drinking binge.  I didn't care about myself, or anyone else.  I had a boring office job where i drank EVERY DAY at lunch. then go back to the office...afternoon would fly by..and drink after work.  By myself...it didnt matter.  I didn't even TRY to get another girl...didn't want one.  The one I wanted was gone.   The worst part is we worked in the same office....about 10 feet away from each other in cubicles. Every day felt like a part of me was dying as I watched and listened to how happy she was with this guy.  I lost some friends by pulling myself out of the "circle" of friends...and basically kept to myself except for a few close friends.  between 3 years ago and last year, I was a mess...smoking pot and drinking heavily...every day.  Last winter, I realized I had to get out of that office - to get promoted yes, but to get away from this girl for my sanity.   After several months of passing out every night, one night in february 2005 I got as drunk as I've ever been....and it was because this girl had her anniversary with her boyfriend...and I left early from work...to get loaded. I got drunk, blacked out, fell down 2 flights of concrete stairs getting home, punched a window...all in one night )I cleaned up little by little after that...my family was getting worried.  I stopped drinking during the week...(big step for me) and quit hard liquor.  I started inteviewing, and got another job, outside my current one, and left last spring. I worked there a year, and took a another job, with a big raise and started last week.  Happy as can be.A lso, last October I started seeing another girl...she's amazing....and we've been going strong ever since.  None of our friends thought we would last...but we have been going strong for m

narc

06-01-2006, 09:54 AM

I've fantasized about a similar scenario time and time again. Not necessarily the having a girlfriend now part, because I don't, but the whole girl of your dreams working your way back into your life through whatever improbable circumstance. 
The biggest thing would be communication. Not with the girl of your dreams, but definitely with your current girlfriend. Let her know how you feel and how much you care about her, because it seems fairly obvious just how important she is in your life.
 
What I would do myself is to break up with your girlfriend. But don't get together with the other girl just yet. I would try to be single as much as possible and reevaluate what you want with your life, and which girl you think fits in best with it. I would tell your current girlfriend that you're really confused and that you need some time off to figure things out. Hang out with the other girl. See if she's still the same girl you fell in love with. You may risk losing your current girlfriend, but if she really loves you, she'll understand.

Jennitalia

06-01-2006, 10:01 AM

i dont mean to burst your bubble, but chances are your dream girl still doesn't have the same feelings for you.   just because she says she missed talking/emailing with you doesnt mean she's had a change of heart, it probably means she missed you as a friend.  she also just had her heart broken, and i'm sure she knows how big of a crush you had on her, so having somebody back in her life that worships her is more of an ego booster.  but at the same time, it can also be creepy to a girl having some guy be head over heels crushing over you. dont read too much into your dream girl's attempts at becoming friends with you again.   why ruin a relationship you seem to be really happy with over something you never had to begin with?

Tenbatsuzen

06-01-2006, 10:04 AM

Jennitalia wrote: i dont mean to burst your bubble, but chances are your dream girl still doesn't have the same feelings for you. just because she says she missed talking/emailing with you doesnt mean she's had a change of heart, it probably means she missed you as a friend. she also just had her heart broken, and i'm sure she knows how big of a crush you had on her, so having somebody back in her life that worships her is more of an ego booster. but at the same time, it can also be creepy to a girl having some guy be head over heels crushing over you. dont read too much into your dream girl's attempts at becoming friends with you again. why ruin a relationship you seem to be really happy with over something you never had to begin with?   Quoted for truth, Jenn beat me to the punch. Don't do it, stay with what's good.

saveopieanthony.net

06-01-2006, 10:11 AM

understood..you're probably right withthe girl of my dreams not being attracted to me.  It goes to show you (and me for that matter) that I still have a thing for her, despite not being around / seeing for a few years.  I do think we would make a great couple.  If I wasn't with my girlfriend, I would be making any / every effort to get with her now that she's available... and you're definately right that i have something amazing with my current GF...she's changed me and I'm a better person because of her...and I can't imagine what it would do to me if the situation was reserved..

Hoojibs

06-01-2006, 10:20 AM

I know I haven't posted in a while but seriously the way you make it sound, you don't deserve your present gf if you are thinking of trying to start up something with a girl who NEVER gave you the time of day. 

Jennitalia

06-01-2006, 10:32 AM

saveopieanthony.net wrote: understood..you're probably right withthe girl of my dreams not being attracted to me.  It goes to show you (and me for that matter) that I still have a thing for her, despite not being around / seeing for a few years.  I do think we would make a great couple.  If I wasn't with my girlfriend, I would be making any / every effort to get with her now that she's available... and you're definately right that i have something amazing with my current GF...she's changed me and I'm a better person because of her...and I can't imagine what it would do to me if the situation was reserved..just because you think the two of you would make a good couple, doesn't make it necessarily the truth. it seems like you have this girl on such a high pedastal, and even though you think you know her, you probably dont know her as well as you think.  when you have a crush on somebody, you tend to think that person is perfect, that they can do no wrong.  and when reality hits and she "breaks your heart", devastation hits you and you just crash and hit rock bottom (ie:  your drinking problem).  what's gonig to happen when she rejects your advances this time?  you have much more to lose now.  your girlfriend isnt and shouldnt have to be patient and understanding with you, knowing how you "used to" feel about this other girl.  and i use "used to" in quotes because it seems obvious you still have feelings for her, and are looking for any type of justification/validation in pursuing her again.  you wont know what real devastation is until your current girl gets tired of having to deal with and hear about or worry about this other girl and gives you the boot. i dont mean to come across as harsh or mean-spirited.  Just giving advice from a girl's perspective

Jujubees2

06-01-2006, 10:58 AM

Save O&A,Why don't you see if your girlfriend is onto a threesome <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/clap.gif" border="0" /> ?  Of course, then you would have to buy all new clothesSeriously, stick with what you have.  It sounds like a good thing.  I dated a woman for two years and thought she was the perfect person for me in every way.  Only problem was, she didn't.  After two years she tells me that she was never in love with me.  Completely floored me.  For the next five years I couldn't go out with someone without comparing them to her.  Then I met my wife-to-be and she showed me what a what a real relationship is, much like your current GFGood luck!

saveopieanthony.net

06-01-2006, 11:05 AM

thanks for the advice guys...the girl of my dreams is talking my ear off via IM..but I know what I have to do.

jeffdwright2001

06-01-2006, 11:11 AM

Jennitalia wrote: and i'm sure she knows how big of a crush you had on her, so having somebody back in her life that worships her is more of an ego booster.  Bingo.  Nothing helps you get over an ex who either dumped you or cheated on you than hanging around with someone you know always had a thing for you.If you want something that is basically a rebounded prolonged one night stand go for it.  But break up with you current GF, you clearly aren't ready for a longer type of relationship.If you want to be with your GF, then limit yourself to work only types of interaction with the ex who never was.  You've already put enough time into a relationship that never happened.

Furtherman

06-01-2006, 11:15 AM

saveopieanthony.net wrote: thanks for the advice guys...the girl of my dreams is talking my ear off via IM..but I know what I have to do. Remember, bury DEEP.  Wear gloves.  Have an alibi.

narc

06-01-2006, 01:55 PM

I'm going to disagree with what everyone else said here. I think in the long run, you should try and get this other girl out of your system once and for all. Either one of two things will happen: 
1. She sucks in a bad way. You figure it out at some point in time and you're over her. Peace of mind at last. You don't care if she does someone else. 
2. You live happily ever after. Is either alternative really so bad? With what people are saying, you always will wonder about whether things could have worked out with your dream girl. And who knows about things with your current girl. You could break up in a few months from something completely unrelated.

Jennitalia

06-01-2006, 03:26 PM

i get narc's point and may agree, only saveoa seemed to have really self-destruct when he found out this dream-girl ended up with the other guy.   and it sounds like he'd probably fall into the same rut if he really pursued her again and got all caught up in his emotions.  and if he lost his gf because of all this, i can almost bet he'd end up worse off than last time. not healthy at all.

Justice4all

06-04-2006, 08:02 PM

Jennitalia wrote: saveopieanthony.net wrote: understood..you're probably right withthe girl of my dreams not being attracted to me.  It goes to show you (and me for that matter) that I still have a thing for her, despite not being around / seeing for a few years.  I do think we would make a great couple.  If I wasn't with my girlfriend, I would be making any / every effort to get with her now that she's available... and you're definately right that i have something amazing with my current GF...she's changed me and I'm a better person because of her...and I can't imagine what it would do to me if the situation was reserved..just because you think the two of you would make a good couple, doesn't make it necessarily the truth. it seems like you have this girl on such a high pedastal, and even though you think you know her, you probably dont know her as well as you think.  when you have a crush on somebody, you tend to think that person is perfect, that they can do no wrong.  and when reality hits and she "breaks your heart", devastation hits you and you just crash and hit rock bottom (ie:  your drinking problem).  what's gonig to happen when she rejects your advances this time?  you have much more to lose now.  your girlfriend isnt and shouldnt have to be patient and understanding with you, knowing how you "used to" feel about this other girl.  and i use "used to" in quotes because it seems obvious you still have feelings for her, and are looking for any type of justification/validation in pursuing her again.  you wont know what real devastation is until your current girl gets tired of having to deal with and hear about or worry about this other girl and gives you the boot. i dont mean to come across as harsh or mean-spirited.  Just giving advice from a girl's perspective  Jennie to the rescue! Sound advice from the lady. It seems like to me this "g.o.y.d." did not care when you did like her and apporach you about it. If you were as much of a mess as you say you WERE then everyone who cared about you most likely saw it and said something. But I am willing to bet this "good friend/g.o.y.d." did and said nothing. When she hooked up with Mr. Wonderful she most likely felt like she had no use for you anymore. She lied to you about hooking up with him right to your face. (or did you forget about that?) I sounds like to me that she is looking to inflate her ego (thanks Jen!) by coming back around to get all those good vibes from you. She is using you yet again. I know it is hard to get past it...but concentrate on the one you HAVE not the one who got away. I know it is corny to hear but when one door closes most likely a better one opens. It sounds like your current is the better door. We do not move foward by moving back. Stick with your current GF. She was best to you when the chips were down and no one else was around. Loyalty says alot when things are like that. I would say to your G.O.Y.D. that if she wanted to hang out, that is fine "as long as you do not mind my current GF joining us". That is the only way you should ever hang out with Miss. Heartbreaker.All this in a little way reminds me of Dante from CLERKS. He was pining for his ex the whole time he current GF treated him like gold. And in the long run he went after the girl from his past and wound up losing both in the end. If he stuck with the girl he was involved in at the time all would have been good in his world. I think that applies here. Good luck bro.And if the GOYD wants to hang out with only YOU and no GF....then I would tell her you will get back to her on it...and never do. Your GF deserves better then that and you know it.

FUNKMAN

06-04-2006, 08:29 PM

<img height="402" src="http://www.pizzazzmagazine.com/img/warren-jeffs-police-sketch.jpg" width="321" border="0" />              " I'd Marry E'm Both "just keepin it liteI'd say it would have been possibly 'meant to be' if you weren't dating the new GF.  Be true to your new GF and as time goes by work on getting over your infatuation with this other girl. No doubt a tough call!

Justice4all

06-06-2006, 10:11 PM

so....any updates?

spoon

06-06-2006, 10:33 PM

Yep, there's a fender bender on the GSP that needs your attention!  And on another update front, the Blue Jays 6 O's 4. 

Justice4all

06-07-2006, 09:33 AM

spoon wrote: Yep, there's a fender bender on the GSP that needs your attention!  And on another update front, the Blue Jays 6 O's 4.  Well you can also add the Yanks win to that list.And too bad the whole Parkway Jesus thing stopped being funny 6 months ago.

This message was edited by Justice4all on 6-7-06 @ 1:34 PM

Iamnotatool

06-07-2006, 12:28 PM

Anytime you think about fucking the old chick, think about the fact that you will be tasting the fat ugly bosses cock on her lips.

spoon

06-07-2006, 02:55 PM

Justice4all wrote: spoon wrote: Yep, there's a fender bender on the GSP that needs your attention!  And on another update front, the Blue Jays 6 O's 4.  Well you can also add the Yanks win to that list.And too bad the whole Parkway Jesus thing stopped being funny 6 months ago.This message was edited by Justice4all on 6-7-06 @ 1:34 PM Well at least PJ was funny at some point, the original has yet to take that step!

epo

06-09-2006, 07:40 PM

Please tell me that saveopie told the "girl of his dreams" to get away.  She made her choice 5 years ago with the boss.  (I imagine Lumberg from Office Space)  Yuck. 

saveopieanthony.net

04-18-2007, 09:24 AM

WELL ....thank you ronfez.net

For those paying attention at home, I did tell the girl to fuck off and have been in love and happy with her ever since.

However, somehow (she won't tell me how) she found this post from a year ago and now wants to break up with me. She's unhappy about other things in our relationship, but this took the cake.

can someone help me out and tell me how someone could've discovered this post online and get it to her if nothing on this site refers to me directly? the only thing is "long island" that refers to me...although i don't use names in the post..i would be obvious to her i was talking about her...

nate1000

04-18-2007, 09:42 AM

WELL ....thank you ronfez.net

For those paying attention at home, I did tell the girl to fuck off and have been in love and happy with her ever since.

However, somehow (she won't tell me how) she found this post from a year ago and now wants to break up with me. She's unhappy about other things in our relationship, but this took the cake.

can someone help me out and tell me how someone could've discovered this post online and get it to her if nothing on this site refers to me directly? the only thing is "long island" that refers to me...although i don't use names in the post..i would be obvious to her i was talking about her...

I hereby nominate this for post of the year.

HA!

angrymissy

04-18-2007, 10:24 AM

WELL ....thank you ronfez.net

For those paying attention at home, I did tell the girl to fuck off and have been in love and happy with her ever since.

However, somehow (she won't tell me how) she found this post from a year ago and now wants to break up with me. She's unhappy about other things in our relationship, but this took the cake.

can someone help me out and tell me how someone could've discovered this post online and get it to her if nothing on this site refers to me directly? the only thing is "long island" that refers to me...although i don't use names in the post..i would be obvious to her i was talking about her...

Does she know you use a screenname saveopieanthony.net or saveopieanthony? because if you google that, it will show posts from boards you've posted on with that name. then she can do a search and find all your posts on all those boards.

Or she could have just looked in your internet history, saw you post on this board and did a search on your name to see what you've posted.

SatCam

04-18-2007, 11:18 AM

WELL ....thank you ronfez.net

For those paying attention at home, I did tell the girl to fuck off and have been in love and happy with her ever since.

However, somehow (she won't tell me how) she found this post from a year ago and now wants to break up with me. She's unhappy about other things in our relationship, but this took the cake.

can someone help me out and tell me how someone could've discovered this post online and get it to her if nothing on this site refers to me directly? the only thing is "long island" that refers to me...although i don't use names in the post..i would be obvious to her i was talking about her...

ouch ...

keithy, comment?

lleeder

04-18-2007, 12:03 PM

Well we've all learned a valueable lesson here. Don't post personal shit about yourself that you haven't told your partner already, they will find out.

jetdog

04-18-2007, 01:25 PM

http://www.funnycatpix.com/_pics/skateboarding_cat.jpg

oh shit...wait a minute...what thread is this...?

saveopieanthony.net

04-18-2007, 01:25 PM

well she knew i was on ron and fez and o &A message boards...but she didn't know my names someone ratted me out.

I went out with this girl for a year and a half and loved her...and she thinks i went back to the "girl of my dreams" but she really is the girl of my dreams....not the old girl. She wouldn't tell me where she got it....I think it was one of her thoughtless friends. (fuck you asshole..you know I know who you are).

Well you ended up hurting her....congrats..great friend because i had a thought a year ago about another girl for a day.

Anyone can tell me who this scumbag is, it will be worth your while to get a hold of me.

saveopieanthony.net

04-18-2007, 01:26 PM

what does that mean asshole?

http://www.funnycatpix.com/_pics/skateboarding_cat.jpg

oh shit...wait a minute...what thread is this...?

mikeyboy

04-18-2007, 01:50 PM

Well you ended up hurting her....congrats..great friend because i had a thought a year ago about another girl for a day.

Do you know anyone outside of the board? If someone ratted you out, it was probably someone outside the board -- someone you have some kind of history with, and someone who knows you well enough to know your girlfriend as well. It probably isn't too hard ro get a handle on who that is, but blaming ronfez.net generally is just retarded. Chances are that your own carelessness/stupidity is what screwed you. Maybe she saw you logged in one day and did a search for your posts.

mikeyboy

04-18-2007, 01:51 PM

what does that mean asshole?

Easy. It has nothing to do with you. It's a joke from another thread.

patsopinion

04-18-2007, 01:56 PM

common story

i had a chick once that insisted on dating my best friends

it was like i was her personal fucking guy finding service

she did it twice in three years

I'm not pissed now though because both of the dudes ended up being douche bags.

J.Clints

04-18-2007, 01:59 PM

what does that mean asshole?

http://www.spreadtheiris.com/images/smilies/sign0090.gif

saveopieanthony.net

04-18-2007, 01:59 PM

Easy. It has nothing to do with you. It's a joke from another thread.

Sorry Mikeyboy. I'm not blaming Ronfez.net....I'm saying that she didn't know the site, didn't know my password, and I didn't mention their names specifically.....somehow someone found it online...and it sucks. She dumped me because of this and other stuff, but this topped it

cougarjake13

04-18-2007, 06:21 PM

http://www.spreadtheiris.com/images/smilies/sign0090.gif

dont bring cena into this

Kevin

04-18-2007, 07:09 PM

dont bring cena into this

Yea,The chat server can't handle the Boooo's it would generate.

lleeder

04-18-2007, 07:12 PM

Yea,The chat server can't handle the Boooo's it would generate.

Were you people saying boo or boo-urns?