I peed on my girlfriend.

[Patches]

<p>Ok, before I start this story- there is one thing you need to understand- she is a complete nutjob, and I am not too far behind.&nbsp; When we get together, and add drinking into the mix completely insanse shit happens, usually to degrees of absolute hilarity.&nbsp; </p><p>Anyway, we are incredibly boxed at around 5 am Sunday morning (from going out Saturday night) and in bed when she has to go to the bathroom.&nbsp; She also&nbsp; very beligerently refuses to put clothes on for this excursion (she is a bit of an exhibitionist, but thats a whole other thread- without exaggeration I can say that a team of psychotherapists would have a field day with her) and that, not only do I have to walk with her to the bathroom, I have to come in with her IN to the bathroom.&nbsp; Now, I guess watching someone else take a piss struck a chord or something, but all of a sudden I have to piss like a racehorse.&nbsp; I tell her to hurry up and right in line with her character, she offers to 'move over'.&nbsp; I decline this offer and just decide to pee in the tub.</p><p>At this point, it strikes my liquor soaked brain&nbsp;as absolutely hilarious if I turned around and gave her a quick shot, so I do.&nbsp; I can't stop laughing, and she basically calls me an asshole and gets in the shower.&nbsp; </p><p>So Sunday her and I have a bunch of friends over for a lil get together by the pool and of course everyone thinks this is the funniest thing they've ever heard (of course with a bit of disgust thrown in).&nbsp; The joke of the day though went to my brother who was telling a story about being 'pissed off' then looks right at her and says, 'which I guess is better than being pissed on.'</p><p>Through all of the joking around about this,&nbsp;there was one thing I didn't realize would happen- she has already sworn revenge.&nbsp; And believe me, she means it.&nbsp; I am very very scared.</p>

[Jennitalia]

you're a pisser!

[Bill From Yorktown]

<p>&quot;I peed on my girlfriend&quot;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>havent we all patches :-)</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[Dougie Brootal]

<strong>Bill From Yorktown</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&quot;I peed on my girlfriend&quot;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>havent we all patches <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>i pee on my girlfriend all the time. you dont even wanna know the depraved things we do on a drunken saturday night.</p>

[Bill From Yorktown]

<strong>douggrasso</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Bill From Yorktown</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&quot;I peed on my girlfriend&quot;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>havent we all patches <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>i pee on my girlfriend all the time. you dont even wanna know the depraved things we do on a drunken saturday night.</p><p>Oh, I thought we were talking about Patches' Girlfriend :-P</p>

[OGC]

<p><font face="times new roman,times,serif" size="3">My wife and I were showering together a few weeks ago, she was standing with her back to me washing her hair and the warm water just brought&nbsp;on the urge to piss, ans I decided to do it on her lower back and ass. </font></p><p><font face="times new roman,times,serif" size="3">Not only was she pissed on, but she was pissed off too.</font></p><p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">And yes, when I was finished, I soaped up the loofa and scrubbed her really well.</font></p>

[Jennitalia]

an old bf of mine crashed at my house after a night of partying.&nbsp; i woke up to a soaking-wet bed, mostly piss (his).&nbsp;&nbsp; that's the closest i've ever been to being peed on.

[torker]

<p><font color="#ffffff"><font size="1"><strong> <font color="#000000">I peed on my girlfriend</font></strong><strong> </strong></font></font></p><p><em><strong><font face="courier new,courier,monospace" size="1">and nobody can do anything about it</font></strong></em></p>

[suggums]

<p>pee on your dad</p><p>pee on your dad</p><p>pee on your dad</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>anyone?&nbsp;</p>

[SatCam]

I peed on my girlfriend.

Ed? Is that you?

[Bulldogcakes]

<p>Do it again, ask her to open her mouth and do it Jimmy Norton style. </p><p><br /><br /></p>

[Justice4all]

<strong>Patches</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Ok, before I start this story- there is one thing you need to understand- she is a complete nutjob, and I am not too far behind.&nbsp; </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>You're shitting me!!!</p>

[Don Stugots]

<hr color="cococo" align="left"></font><strong>douggrasso</strong> wrote:<br><strong>Bill From Yorktown</strong> wrote:<br /><p>"I peed on my girlfriend"</p><p> </p><p>havent we all patches <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> </p><p> </p><p>i pee on my girlfriend all the time. you dont even wanna know the depraved things we do on a drunken saturday night.</p><hr color="cococo" align="left"><p></p>


yes we do, and want to see the vid.

[FUNKMAN]

<p>looks like urine some trouble...</p><p>watch out for a flying turd&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/smile.gif" border="0" /></p>

[Patches]

<strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><p>looks like urine some trouble...</p><p>watch out for a flying turd&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/smile.gif" border="0" /></p><p>She's nuts, but she's not a monkey....<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" border="0" /></p><p>I told her to get her revenge if she must, but nothing to do with shit... thats just gross..</p>

[scorpion]

<p>Very funny</p><p> </p><p>&nbsp;</p><span class="postbody">she has already sworn revenge</span> <p>&nbsp;</p><p> </p><p><strong>have you ever heard of Lorena Bobbitt ??</strong></p><p><strong>keep on eye open.</strong></p><p> </p><p>um does she have a single sister?</p><p> </p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by scorpion on 6-12-06 @ 8:39 PM</span>

[Hottub]

<p>For my wife's birthday, last month, I gave her a Pearl Necklace!</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Not exactly what she had in mind!</p>

[Gvac]

I can't tell you all how happy I am that sex hasn't gotten so boring for me yet that I'd want to involve bodily waste.<br />

[Hottub]

But don't you get lonely every once in a while?

[FUNKMAN]

<strong>Patches</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><p>looks like urine some trouble...</p><p>watch out for a flying turd&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/smile.gif" border="0" /></p><p>She's nuts, but she's not a monkey....<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" border="0" /></p><p>I told her to get her revenge if she must, but nothing to do with shit... thats just gross..</p>okay! watch out for the tampon in your twizzle pack

[Don Stugots]

<hr color="cococo" align="left"></font><strong>Hottub</strong> wrote:<br>But don't you get lonely every once in a while?<hr color="cococo" align="left"><p></p>


all the time in shower but then i remember why i am there and i close my eyes and it is threesome time. aaahhhhhh!!!! calgone take me away.

[narc]

He'll be fine as long as he doesn't eat the applicator.

[Death Metal Moe]

<strong>Patches</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><p>looks like urine some trouble...</p><p>watch out for a flying turd&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/smile.gif" border="0" /></p><p>She's nuts, but she's not a monkey....<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" border="0" /> </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Now ya get this...</p><p><img height="474" src="http://www.ajputnam.com/portfolio/ani.jpg" width="365" border="0" /></p>

[super turbo death shark]

<p>i peed on her too!</p>

[Patches]

<strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br />I can't tell you all how happy I am that sex hasn't gotten so boring for me yet that I'd want to involve bodily waste.<br /><p>Yeah, see thats the thing... It wasn't sexual at all.&nbsp; I actually agree and think thats kind of gross.&nbsp; I just thought it was a really funny thing to do.&nbsp; </p><p>I had a long weekend.</p>

[FUNKMAN]

<strong>Patches</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br />I can't tell you all how happy I am that sex hasn't gotten so boring for me yet that I'd want to involve bodily waste.<br /><p>Yeah, see thats the thing... It wasn't sexual at all.&nbsp; I actually agree and think thats kind of gross.&nbsp; I just thought it was a really funny thing to do.&nbsp; </p><p>I had a long weekend.</p><p>i had a friend who wasn't wrapped too tight. his name was Jim and him and another friend of mine(Joe) were playing in an old armory and Joe was climbing out the second story window via a firehose. he got halfway down and got nervous and asked Jim if he was close to the ground. Jim says &quot;yeah&quot; and Joe let's go and falls and breaks his leg. As Joe is laying there Jim starts pissing on him. I wasn't there but i believe it because this guy Jim was a little bit of a wackadoo and Joe was walking around with a cast on</p><p>When we were 10 or 11 i was playing football with Jim and tackled him on some glass and it cut up his side. Later that day my Mom approaches me and is a little upset. She said Jim's mother just called and Jim claimed we were playing doctor and i hammered a nail into his side. I don't know if i was more dumbfounded at Jim's story or my Mom kind've believing it...&nbsp; This guy Jim was in a cleaners in downtown jersey city and the owner got into an argument with a man behind the counter. the owner shot and killed the man and accidentally put one through Jim's leg...</p><p>you can't make this shit up</p>

[IamFogHat]

<p>Is it wierd that about two weeks into dating my current girlfriend, after a comical reference to water sports (that she instigated) she explicitly informed me how against it she was in real life?</p><p>I was like, 'ok, i am too, she who doth protest too much...&quot;</p><p>?</p>

[narc]

Not as weird as it would be as if, at roughly the same point in time in a relationship, your girlfriend confesses that she has engaged in it in the past, on the giving end. <br><p>
I joke around about watersports being hot. But yeah, in reality....disgusting. And I needed that moment to make me realize it.

[FUNKMAN]

<p>another little nugget of joy</p><p>a co-worker (George) from pennsy said him and a buddy were swimming in a lake and all of a sudden the buddy whips something at him and it turns out the guy was taking a dump in his hand and flinging it at my him. then the guy&nbsp;continued to&nbsp;shit&nbsp;and throw it as he chased&nbsp;george out of the lake.</p><p>the real uncomfortable part is george was kind've giddy and laughing as he's telling this to a couple of us&nbsp; </p>

[Justice4all]

<strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br />&nbsp;This guy Jim was in a cleaners in downtown jersey city and the owner got into an argument with a man behind the counter. the owner shot and killed the man and accidentally put one through Jim's leg...<p>you can't make this shit up</p><p>I guess your buddy Jim 'pissed' him off.</p><p>Did&nbsp;Jim shower with his father while&nbsp; trying hard not to stare at his dick when he was little? That might explain a few things.</p>

[Justice4all]

<strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><p>another little nugget of joy</p><p>a co-worker (George) from pennsy said him and a buddy were swimming in a lake and all of a sudden the buddy whips something at him and it turns out the guy was taking a dump in his hand and flinging it at my him. then the guy&nbsp;continued to&nbsp;shit&nbsp;and throw it as he chased&nbsp;george out of the lake.</p><p>the real uncomfortable part is george was kind've giddy and laughing as he's telling this to a couple of us&nbsp; </p><p>Can't your friends just shoot the shit like regular people?</p>

[Dirtybird12]

<p>You guys sure know how to respect women. sickens me to read this filth. what do&nbsp; you think shirley phelps-roper would say?&nbsp; She is so right about you creatures.&nbsp; stinky.</p>

[bubblegirl]

If a lover of mine or anyone that is not very very old or very very
young pees on me EVER, I will not only get pissed, I'll get even...<br />

[PapaBear]

<strong>bubblegirl</strong> wrote:<br />If a lover of mine or anyone that is not very very old or very very young pees on me EVER, I will not only get pissed, I'll get even...<br /><p>I'm not into &quot;water sports&quot;, but what if it's someone who is trying to relieve jelly fish stings?</p>

[Mazz3D]

<p>well i never pissed on my girlfriend but uh we were in the middle of having sex. all of the sudden i feel a wetness of an odd nature on me. she says &quot;umm i think i just pissed on you.&quot; i had a full and after that i got an innie.</p><p>and in reference to pissing on your dad... i was a baby but my mom tells me all the time that i pissed in not on but in my dads pants pocket while he was holding me.&nbsp;</p>

[christinb]

<strong>douggrasso</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Bill From Yorktown</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&quot;I peed on my girlfriend&quot;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>havent we all patches <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>i pee on my girlfriend all the time. you dont even wanna know the depraved things we do on a drunken saturday night.</p><p><font size="2">Yes, but what he doesn't tell you is that most of the time, on&nbsp;our drunken&nbsp;saturday nights he'll ask me to pee on him and i'll do it. Because it's AWSOME!!</font></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by christinb on 6-16-06 @ 8:05 AM</span>

[FUNKMAN]

<p>i peed on my dad's leg once. i was a little kid and he just took a bath and he was standing at the sink next to the toilet. i come running in and start taking a wizz and hit the rim of the bowl and it splattered on his leg... he wasn't a happy camper!</p>

[Dirtybird12]

seriously...find god... all of you

[Dougie Brootal]

<strong>CircusFreak</strong> wrote:<br />seriously...find god... all of you <p><img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/lol.gif" border="0" /></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by douggrasso on 6-16-06 @ 11:20 AM</span>

[Jujubees2]

<strong>CircusFreak</strong> wrote:<br />seriously...find god... all of you <p>Why, is God missing?</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>How about peeing on yourself (to make your hands tougher, of course)?</p><p><a href="http://www.slate.com/id/2100652/">http://www.slate.com/id/2100652/</a></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by Jujubees2 on 6-16-06 @ 11:27 AM</span>

[scorpion]

<strong>STUGOTS1</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Hottub</strong> wrote:<br />But don't you get lonely every once in a while? <p>&nbsp;</p>all the time in shower but then i remember why i am there and i close my eyes and it is threesome time. aaahhhhhh!!!! calgone take me away. <p>Holy shit that was funny!!</p>

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

<p>Eight or 9 years ago, I met this really cool guy. We had a lot in common, got along really well, went to some cool shows and interesting plays. Then one day he asked if he could pee on me. While we were in bed.</p><p>The idea that he wanted to pee on me didn't freak me out. What really freaked me out was that he probably had pee'd on others before. In that bed. And I had been sleeping in it.</p><p>No amount of showers could make the pain go away.</p>

[Death Metal Moe]

OK, who broke the board again?

[FUNKMAN]

<p>i almost pee'd on the lady doing an ultrasound on my kidney and bladder today. i drank 40 oz of water between 8:45 and 9:00, got to the office at 9:45 and they didn't take me in til 10:10. i could barely hold it and then she starts&nbsp;pressing the ultrasound wand down on my bladder. </p><p>when i finally did go i could have powerwashed somebody's house....</p>

[torker]

<img height="755" src="http://www.griswold.k12.ia.us/kbweb/Mrs%20%20B%20sixth%20grade/blue%20period%202.jpg" width="500" border="0" />

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

<p>i almost pee'd on the lady doing an ultrasound </p><p>Been there! I kept thinking, &quot;Please don't press so hard! UGH! When will this hell be OVER?!?!&quot;</p>

[narc]

<hr color="cococo" align="left"></font><strong>christinb</strong> wrote:<br><strong>douggrasso</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Bill From Yorktown</strong> wrote:<br /><p>"I peed on my girlfriend"</p><p> </p><p>havent we all patches <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> </p><p> </p><p>i pee on my girlfriend all the time. you dont even wanna know the depraved things we do on a drunken saturday night.</p><p><font size="2">Yes, but what he doesn't tell you is that most of the time, on our drunken saturday nights he'll ask me to pee on him and i'll do it. Because it's AWSOME!!</font></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by christinb on 6-16-06 @ 8:05 AM</span><hr color="cococo" align="left"><p></p>

Is that why the bottle is positioned as such in your avatar?<br><p>
The thought of participating in any of this disgusts me. But, I think it might be hot if, when I was getting it on with a girl she lost control of her bodily functions because she was enjoying it so much. That would be disgusting in the long term, but a great long term ego boost.

[Flea_Man]

This thread is so&nbsp;disturbing and yet I'm intrigued all at the same time. Amazing.