Dealing with the Past [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

View Full Version : Dealing with the Past

Hottub

07-28-2006, 06:38 PM

Somebody in the Chat Room got me thinking about how you think, deal or cope with a "Life Changing"event.I have had a few speed bumps this past year, but nothing monumental. I can say, that in my life, I have had more than a few. But I have always come out on top.I guess I take life like a JKQ ,with an ace in the hole.

FezPaul

07-28-2006, 06:42 PM

Hottub wrote: Somebody in the Chat Room got me thinking about how you think, deal or cope with a "Life Changing"event.I have had a few speed bumps this past year, but nothing monumental. I can say, that in my life, I have had more than a few. But I have always come out on top.I guess I take life like a JKQ ,with an ace in the hole.http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f281/FezPaul/sinatrafrankmain.jpg

reeshy

07-28-2006, 06:59 PM

I gotta be honest...the only thing that slowed me doen was my wife's death...life stopped for me......but then I got moving again!!!!!

FUNKMAN

07-28-2006, 08:09 PM

Dealing with the Past i deal with the past by moving forward and hopefully learning from my mistakes and not repeating themexcept grammar, i fuck that up all the time...

PapaBear

07-29-2006, 12:52 AM

Most introspective thread ever...

ShelleBink

07-29-2006, 02:43 AM

Best advice I was given very recently was basically to not use your past pain and mistakes as a crutch.  I know I am way too guilty of it and really have needed to move on from some things that happened to me long enough ago that I should just accept what has happened.  I'm in a good place now and really need to start appreciating what I have instead of focusing on what I haven't.

FreshJ

07-30-2006, 06:28 PM

The way of things keeps you on a path, while that path may not be predestined it is availble to take care of you and make sure that you get what you need when you need it.

Don Stugots

07-30-2006, 06:32 PM

i dela with my past by making jokes about it on a message board and by putting walls up around my feelings.

Lumber

07-31-2006, 02:39 AM

I try to look at my dark days as my teacher.

SatCam

07-31-2006, 11:14 AM

I eat until I pass out

Jennitalia

07-31-2006, 11:45 AM

I've been trying to deal with the past via some really intense dreams lately. A guy I dated for a couple of years in high school and college was killed in a car accident seven years ago, on his birthday weekend. We we no longer together when he died, and he had moved down to Florida to be with his dad, who was quadrapalegic, and was in school to be a massage therapist. When my sister broke the news to me, it absolutely crushed me. I had a problem in dealing with it externally, because my boyfriend at the time, would get pissed at me that I was actually upset and crying over it. So in some ways, maybe I didn't fully deal with it. He was buried up in Westchester, where his mom lives, and I was able to attend and say my goodbyes. I had a nice chat with his mother, whom I was pretty close with. She actually had some pictures of us from my prom on the collages she made for the wake/funeral. His mom and I also spoke later on for a long time, and it really gave me closure as to any doubts or questions I had regarding my relationship with Chris. But I still have these recurring dreams about him, most recently last week, and they're probably the most vivid of all dreams I have, and they really fuck me. I usually wake up in tears, and it usually takes me a few days to deal with it and move on. I'd like to think that in some way, Chris is making contact with me, just stopping by to say hi. I just don't know why it affects me so much, seven years later.

Tall_James

07-31-2006, 12:32 PM

I cringe a lot, thinking of all the stupid things I did and the poor choices that I made in the past.  I get past them by realizing that where I am right now is where I always wanted to be.  I'm happy and blessed with a beautiful wife, loving kids, a great home and job.All those stupid things I did and poor choices I made have led me to this point in my life. And I can live with the past because the present I live in was well worth the wait.Were those stupid choices and actions necessary to get me where I am right now?  If so, I wouldn't change a damn thing from the past.

Justice4all

08-01-2006, 10:09 AM

Tall_James wrote: I cringe a lot, thinking of all the stupid things I did and the poor choices that I made in the past.  All those stupid things I did and poor choices I made have led me to this point in my life. And I can live with the past because the present I live in was well worth the wait.Were those stupid choices and actions necessary to get me where I am right now?  If so, I wouldn't change a damn thing from the past.James, I would and could not have said it better myself. You put it perfectly. I look back on alot of my past and wonder what my life would be like if I did some different choices, like not have gotten married. But if where I was got me to where I am now, I have not changed much, only some of the women I slept with. Jesus what was I thinking? Looking back NOW....bad idea.Job wise, I do not think I could have asked to be in a better profession. Aside from actor this is the perfect place for me.

Furtherman

08-01-2006, 10:18 AM

Dealing with the PastAlmost every day I cringe.  I remember too many bad things and not enough good ones.  I guess I'm not very good at it.

Jennitalia

08-01-2006, 10:43 AM

Careerwise:  I wish I was able to figure out what I wanted to do sooner.  Other than that, I've been very lucky with the really cool bosses I've had.High School:  I wish I was involved in a some more activities, like maybe drama, and I wish I wasn't as shyFamily:  I don't regret the non-relationship I have with my father.  I regret how things are with my Grandparents, but I gave them a chance to reconcile things with my mom/uncleLove life:  I regret dating a couple of people.  I cringe when I remember sleeping with some.  I do regret not fully pursuing a relationship with a great guy in college (who ended up dying) because I was involved with other people and not that happy.

Bulldogcakes

08-01-2006, 03:02 PM

I regret reading this thread. Now I'm all bummed out.

Don Stugots

08-01-2006, 03:14 PM

you know i have been thinking (not a good sign), while in high school i should have asked out more girls.  i will honestly tell you people that i had 3 dates during my HS years.  i never had any luck with women until later in life and most of it was after wife #1 which was 6 years ago.  i should not have been so insecure about asking out girls that i liked.  i was always afraid that they would say no.  now, even when i wasnt with my chick, i could care less if they said no.  at times i wanted them to say no, this way i could goof on them.  also, in high school i wish i had went to a better one.  i had the chances to but didnt.  my chick (who from here on out will be refered to as tuchas) went to a great schoo, Edward R Murrow.  its empahise was/is theater and communications.  if i had gone there maybe i would followed my dreams of being on the radio or acting.

narc

08-01-2006, 03:28 PM

I wish there were better looking girls at my high school to ask out. It was also awkward because I knew most of their families, and I didn't want my mom potentially hearing about things I did with whoever's daughter.

absinthe

08-01-2006, 03:38 PM

High School- Went to a small high school and really didn't want to hang out with people.  I just wanted to play sports and be left alone College- Went to a small university, wish I would have went to a bigger one as it was boring  Graduate School-going to Texas A&M, not the most entertaining place in the world, but I met my chick here so I guess it was worth moving across the country.  The only regret I have is being so far away from my grandmother and I can only talk to her on the phone as she gets weaker.

JerryTaker

08-02-2006, 06:19 AM

I think I regret every second of my miserable existance. Usually I made the best choice available to me, but I was destined to be nothing and that's what I am. When I can afford to, I usually deal with my miserable past and my hatred for myself with lots of alcohol and maybe trying to work whenever they let me at my dead-end job.

KC2OSO

08-02-2006, 07:13 AM

JerryTaker wrote: I think I regret every second of my miserable existance. Usually I made the best choice available to me, but I was destined to be nothing and that's what I am. When I can afford to, I usually deal with my miserable past and my hatred for myself with lots of alcohol and maybe trying to work whenever they let me at my dead-end job.   Wow.  Hang in there man.  Chin up and all.  Hope you feel better.

Jennitalia

08-02-2006, 07:14 AM

KC2OSO wrote:  JerryTaker wrote: I think I regret every second of my miserable existance. Usually I made the best choice available to me, but I was destined to be nothing and that's what I am. When I can afford to, I usually deal with my miserable past and my hatred for myself with lots of alcohol and maybe trying to work whenever they let me at my dead-end job.   Wow.  Hang in there man.  Chin up and all.  Hope you feel better. unfortunately, this is just a typical wednesday in the life of  JerryTaker.

angelinad128

08-02-2006, 07:34 AM

Jennitalia wrote: But I still have these recurring dreams about him, most recently last week, and they're probably the most vivid of all dreams I have, and they really fuck me. I usually wake up in tears, and it usually takes me a few days to deal with it and move on. I'd like to think that in some way, Chris is making contact with me, just stopping by to say hi. I just don't know why it affects me so much, seven years later.I believe wholeheartedly that he is making contact with you but be happy about it. You meant that much to him that he making contact with you again. You were probably the best thing he had in his life.

ChimneyFish

08-02-2006, 10:46 AM

JerryTaker wrote: I think I regret every second of my miserable existance. Usually I made the best choice available to me, but I was destined to be nothing and that's what I am. When I can afford to, I usually deal with my miserable past and my hatred for myself with lots of alcohol and maybe trying to work whenever they let me at my dead-end job. You ain't the only one, soldier.Reading this thread, I've realized I haven't dealt with one godamn thing from my past. From the death of the two most important women in my life(from the same disease), to my various relationships, to my addiction/mental afflictions.Thank the heavens for alcohol. The great eraser.

JerryTaker

08-02-2006, 12:02 PM

you guys must be new. the proper response to one of my posts is: "we all have problems, yours mean shit in the world, stop making this thread about you and go kill yourself"whoever is distributing the worksheets has been slacking.

Jujubees2

08-02-2006, 12:04 PM

JerryTaker wrote: you guys must be new. the proper response to one of my posts is: "we all have problems, yours mean shit in the world, stop making this thread about you and go kill yourself"whoever is distributing the worksheets has been slacking.  Nah JerryTaker, They only say things like that to people they care about.  Not worthless losers like you.

ChimneyFish

08-02-2006, 12:06 PM

JerryTaker wrote: you guys must be new. the proper response to one of my posts is: "we all have problems, yours mean shit in the world, stop making this thread about you and go kill yourself"whoever is distributing the worksheets has been slacking.  I don't remember getting that memo.<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" border="0" />

Hottub

08-02-2006, 12:10 PM

There's just no pleasing you, is there, Jerry.