I Sexually Harassed A Soccer Mom

[Judge Smails]

<p>Actually, she was a flag-football cheerleader mom.&nbsp; </p><p>So, I went to my daughter's flag-football cheerleading practice today for the first time and I was making small talk with this mother who also has a daughter on the squad.&nbsp; The topic of conversation got around to kids and computers and internet access.&nbsp; I told her how there are filters available.&nbsp; She tells me she just realized how careful you have to be because she was recently looking for sneakers for her daughter and did a search for Dick's Sporting Goods and got all of these porn sites instead.</p><p>Forging ahead with the small talk, and staying on topic (I thought), I mentioned how I was recently reading about how Beaver College in Pennsylvania had to change their name to Arcadia College or something like that. They realized that&nbsp;their enriollment might have been suffering because high school kids searching for information on schools were having the word Beaver filtered out of their searches.</p><p>Well as soon as I mention Beaver I can tell that she's all uncomfortable with the conversation all of a sudden.&nbsp; She obviously cut the conversation short and wandered off and, later on, I could swear she was bad-mouthing me to some of the other moms.</p><p>What the fuck?&nbsp; Did I step over the line?&nbsp; Are dicks ok to talk about in mixed company but beavers are taboo?&nbsp; I maintain that I did nothing wrong.&nbsp; But, if anyone recalls my bible school thread and how hard I tried to not get people thinking bad about me, now this bitch is going around telling people I'm some kind of perv.&nbsp; I fucking hate having to interact with people.</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by judge_smails on 8-11-06 @ 9:53 PM</span>

[hunnerbun]

<p>Well judge, it seems to me that she was the one who started the
topic of conversation and I don't know you but it doesn't seem over the
line to me.</p><p>&nbsp;Hopefully she wasn't saying anything about it
to the other parents but shit...if you can't stand the heat...don't
bring up the suject!</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[patsopinion]

<p>Yea you may be better of not participating in your childern's lives outside the home. lol</p><p>Im
on your side on this though.&nbsp; thats a funny little anicdote.&nbsp;
But shes a middle aged woman who hasnt gotten a good dicking since
before her wedding night.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I vote for women to have to go to masculine sensitivity training.</p>

[hunnerbun]

Yup...seems to me that she needs to be bent over the back of the couch...or the kitchen table...or the computer desk....<br />

[reeshy]

Yea Judge...probably just an innocent conversation...don't worry about ...but if my wife came home and told me about some douchebag talking about Beavers to her....well...let's put it this way.....<br />

[Gvac]

<p>She was fine bringing up Dick's Sporting Goods but felt uncomfortable when you mentioned Beaver College?</p><p>Talk about double standards. &nbsp;</p><p>Since she's far more agreeable to slang for male genitalia, I suggest you bring up the South Carolina Gamecocks the next time you see her. &nbsp;</p>

[Sleeves]

<p>Sounds like a Seinfeld ep.</p><p>Maybe the lady didn't realize that &quot;Dick&quot; was the offending word in her search string - maybe she just thought that porn popped up all over the place no matter what. But when you said &quot;beaver&quot; she quite clearly got your reference.<br /></p><p>sux...you did nothing but attempt to engage in a little friendly banter to save the kids from dick and beaver...</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[ADF]

She's probably got a hairy snatch and &quot;beaver&quot; made her feel ashamed of her luxurious petunia plumage.<br />

[tele7]

<p>Unless you did the international &quot;beaver&quot; gesture with two fingers over your mouth, you're ok.&nbsp; </p>

[FezPaul]

<strong>ADF</strong> wrote:<br />She's probably got a hairy snatch and &quot;beaver&quot; made her feel ashamed of her luxurious petunia plumage.<br /><p><strong><font face="courier new,courier,monospace" size="2">That's almost poetry.</font></strong></p>

[tele7]

<strong>FezPaul</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>ADF</strong> wrote:<br />She's probably got a hairy snatch and &quot;beaver&quot; made her feel ashamed of her luxurious petunia plumage.<br /><p><strong><font face="courier new,courier,monospace" size="2">That's almost poetry.</font></strong></p><p>lovely</p>

[mikeyboy]

It wasn't that you said &quot;Beaver&quot;, it was that you gave her a little pat&nbsp;on the cooch when you said it.

[FUNKMAN]

maybe she got upset when after you said beaver you mentioned you had some wood she could nibble on...

[Sheeplovr]

<p><span class="postbody">daughter's flag-football cheerleading practice</span></p><p>hott</p><p>maybe you shouldnt of gave her a light back rub and blow in her ear while you were saying it&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[SatCam]

as soon as you have money everyone starts turning on you

[Don Stugots]

<p>should have whipped out your cock and said &quot;whats the matter honey? never seen one this big before?&quot;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>god damn i am drunk!!&nbsp; hohooooo</p>

[spoon]

<p><img src="http://decibel.org/~decibel/stuff/beaver.gif" border="0" /></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by spoon on 8-12-06 @ 1:27 AM</span>

[HeyGuy]

Oh I thought you like pulled your dick out of your pants and asked to see her beaver. But no you did nothing wrong. She started it and you just gave her another example. By the way was she sexy maybe you could have nah forget it!

[kevcala]

<p>To help your next conversation go a little smoother</p><p><a href="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/viewmessages.cfm/Forum/52/Topic/51714/page/best_of_urban_dictionary_part_2.htm" target="_self">Heres</a> a list of suggested words to try and work in.</p><p>You can thank me on the one phone call you get from jail.<br /></p>

[mendyweiss]

Well, Judge you didn't flop a Royal Flush with this one!

[stickyfingers]

Did&nbsp;you lick your lips when you said Beaver?

[JimBeam]

<p>If she was offended its one of those times when somebody offends themselves.</p><p>I mean there's no mistaking that &quot; dick &quot; can be an offensive word but you have to have your mind in the gutter to tottaly be offended by &quot; beaver &quot;.</p><p>There are plenty more offensive words you could've used to describe that lady's cunt, tootless old lady or hatchet wound.</p>

[outlawfrank]

She over reacted.&nbsp; But pulling on your left nipple while loosening your belt, well that may have been a little much.

[Flea_Man]

thanks for sharing

[A.J.]

<p>You should have said &quot;What's the matter honey?&nbsp; Too much cheese on the taco?&quot;</p><p><img height="240" src="http://videodetective.com/photos/345/014503_25.jpg" width="320" border="0" /></p>

[Furtherman]

<strong>judge_smails</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Actually, she was a flag-football cheerleader mom.&nbsp; </p><p>I don't see it as you sexually harassed a flag-football cheerleader mom... it seems more so that you spoke to a cunt.</p>

[jeffdwright2001]

<p>You should get her number and call her tonight after all the kids are asleep.&nbsp; Then you can explain to her your thought process on why you thought Beaver would be acceptable in the conversation.</p><p>I'm sure after an hour or so on the phone, she'll come around to seeing your side of things.</p><p>BTW - if she hangs up on you, just keep calling back.&nbsp; It's important to get your message across.</p>

[FUNKMAN]

being you were in the wrong try to make it up to her. take her out to dinner and order the snapper

[angeladi]

<p>this is so so funny!!</p><p>but i dont think you did anything wrong either</p>

[Tall_James]

<p>Bring her a peace offering.&nbsp; A book perhaps...</p><p><img height="480" src="http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/images/n31/n157069.jpg" width="316" border="0" /></p>