Here's the thing... [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

El Mudo

10-11-2006, 02:11 PM

What this basically boils down to is that I’ve been in love with this chick since 10th grade. 
 
Now, I’ve pretty much reconciled myself to the fact that she doesn’t
feel the same way, which is fine.  I’ve made my peace with that in
some ways, and in some ways I haven’t .  But this isn’t totally
about my abandonment issues (which is a real long story). 
 
I’d like to think we’re pretty good friends, but now I just can’t
really deal with this guy she’s dating now.  Essentially this is a
“whats he got that I don’t” type of thing.  I realize perfectly
its her decision and its not up to me to say she should date specific
people, but I just don’t understand what I lack in her eyes.  When
she was with this Air Force guy a while ago, I could understand that
cause that guy was in the Air Force,  but not this guy, who just
seems incredibly annoying and squirelly….like the guy that gets sand
kicked in his face by the muscle guy in the cartoons. 
 
I don’t know…I just kinda feel like I’m “stuck” as far as girls are
concerned…at least this one.   Every girl I see, I compare to
this one.  I’m trying my best to move on cause its obvious she
doesn‘t like me in that way, but I really can’t, and I can’t explain
why. 
 
I guess love just wasn’t meant for some people

Sheeplovr

10-11-2006, 02:17 PM

Happy Brithday

mdr55

10-11-2006, 02:22 PM

It doesn't get better with time.       If you never went for it.

sr71blackbird

10-11-2006, 02:26 PM

Unrequitted love is horrible. I know.  It is bad for you in every way.  It leads to depression.Forget her, get out of the situation that allows her to be in your life and move on and dont look back If she cant love you and return your greatest gift, then do not waste another second of your life or your emotions on her. Just make the break and find someone new.  Do not fall for the "we can be friends" bullshit. Can you be friends with anyone that does not reciprocate your feelings? I am serious, if you want to be a healthy thinking person, you owe it to yourself to move on.  If you stay, you'll burn yourself up and end up depressed and on meds.   Like me.

EliSnow

10-11-2006, 02:37 PM

El Mudo wrote: What this basically boils down to is that I’ve been in love with this chick since 10th grade. Now, I’ve pretty much reconciled myself to the fact that she doesn’t feel the same way, which is fine.  I’ve made my peace with that in some ways, and in some ways I haven’t .  But this isn’t totally about my abandonment issues (which is a real long story). I’d like to think we’re pretty good friends, but now I just can’t really deal with this guy she’s dating now.  Essentially this is a “whats he got that I don’t” type of thing.  I realize perfectly its her decision and its not up to me to say she should date specific people, but I just don’t understand what I lack in her eyes.  When she was with this Air Force guy a while ago, I could understand that cause that guy was in the Air Force,  but not this guy, who just seems incredibly annoying and squirelly….like the guy that gets sand kicked in his face by the muscle guy in the cartoons. I don’t know…I just kinda feel like I’m “stuck” as far as girls are concerned…at least this one.   Every girl I see, I compare to this one.  I’m trying my best to move on cause its obvious she doesn‘t like me in that way, but I really can’t, and I can’t explain why. I guess love just wasn’t meant for some people I was hung up on my best friend in high school (which was a girl) for a very long time, and part of me always will be.  I compared every chick I ever me to her, and thought about her often.  She too dated a complete asshole around college time, and I could never see why.   And I never thought I'd get over her.But eventually I dated others, fell for another chick, that didn't work, dated a lot, fell for another chick hard, that didn't work, dated a lot and slept with a bunch of chicks, but eventually met my wife.  Keep getting out there, and eventually you'll move on.

El Mudo

10-11-2006, 03:12 PM

Its just tough for me to move on I guess...cause she's really the
only chick that's really cared enough to be interested in what I have
to say and one of the few people ive actually felt comfortable
confiding in.  It's tough for me to watch her with this awful guy
and try to pretend i'm not surly about it. But its not my call I guess. And Sheepy....you're an ass

soupcan

10-11-2006, 03:32 PM

<img width="272" height="475" border="0" src="http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B00004CIYC.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg" />                ??????

sr71blackbird

10-11-2006, 03:47 PM

There is nothing "wrong" with feeling love for someone, but there is something wrong when that love is not returned to you in kind, and you still feel that love.I had a major problem with this, and it might help to equate it to caring for a plant: You take time to water and nurture the plant, with hopes that it will bear fruit for you. But it is making fruit by your labor, and giving that fruit to another person, and you cant have any. If you know this plant is doing this, why would you still keep nurturing it?  Because it is noble? What is nobility getting you?  Can you live on nobility, with the knowledge that your efforts are never going to benefit you?  Dont you have a responsibility to be noble to yourself, so you can justify the nobility of your own love?

El Mudo

10-11-2006, 03:58 PM

I don't think its about nobility per se.....It COULD have something
to do with the fact I HATE failure and I feel in this sense I HAVE
failed, but i'm not sure it's really about failing in this situation In
terms of nobility, its not really out of a sense of nobility that I
still keep caring about this chick that doesn't feel the same
way.  It's more out of almost a sense of duty...like I've grown so
fond of her I feel the need to protect her in some way.  I hope
that doesn't sound psychotic, but she's probably one of the 5 greatest
people i've ever met anywhere, and I feel like I have a real need to
have and keep her in my life, and I just dread the day all the time
when I won't be able to talk to her any more

Gvac

10-11-2006, 04:05 PM

Mudo my boy,  you've only just begun!  You'll have your heart broken more than once in life, trust me.  The one thing you have to realize is that it is not only possible but extremely likely to fall in love with more than one person in a lifetime.  I've actually made the leap a couple of times with turning a friend who is a girl into a girlfriend.  It's great because there's a genuine love and respect for that person and a powerful comfort level.  Often, though, there's that lack of passion that you experience with a new lover and it isn't everything  you thought it would be.   I know it's easier said than done, but stop comparing other women to her and enjoy them for how different they may be.

keithy_19

10-11-2006, 04:08 PM

Every girl, till my current girl has never felt the same about me. Unrequitted love is the worst thing. It does no good and you just hate yourself. And for what? Cause you're not what someone else wants? Fuck that man. Go for something worthwhile. It'll happen. I promise. <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/rolleyes.gif" border="0" />

narc

10-11-2006, 06:51 PM

The worst thing is if you're not sure if the love was unrequited. I fell completely in love with a girl but I convinced myself I wasn't because I was sure she didn't feel the same way. We never got together but things happened. We had sort of a very explosive relationship; when things were good they were really good, but when they were bad - watch out. And eventually it blew up and things were never really the same, but even talking to her afterwards, I wasn't sure whether she ever felt anything or not, and she refused to answer. Since then, as I've said, I've dated people. But I've always had problems falling for a girl. I fell for one last year (it didn't work out) and it was the first time in years I had actually felt that way.