East Side Blown Line Of The Day [Archive]

FUNKMAN

11-05-2006, 11:31 AM

PapaBear wrote: Who is East Side Blown? a dog oh my bad, i thought you said "who has East Side Blown?" <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> still luv ya Dave, don't cry now...

FezPaul

11-05-2006, 12:23 PM

From a while back (and I think someone is using it as a sig):"I don't speak on behalf of deserts."

margin

11-05-2006, 01:54 PM

what was the one involving a ghoul and a teddy bear?

lleeder

11-06-2006, 12:55 PM

From todays show "Hit and Run , Papa Joe... Papa Joe like hes a dirty guy like sloppy joes and papas"

Earlshog

11-07-2006, 08:44 AM

On Fez drinking whiskey....Your jumping in the pool and its too shallow...

dannyssack

11-07-2006, 09:16 AM

FUCK ESD

Earlshog

11-07-2006, 09:28 AM

dannyssack wrote: FUCK ESD I don't remember that line? when turtle called in... always the same thing Johnny hit latley

This message was edited by Earlshog on 11-7-06 @ 1:49 PM

Shamrock

11-07-2006, 09:46 AM

"Johney hit latly"  What a tool!

reillyluck

11-07-2006, 10:07 AM

FezPaul wrote: From a while back (and I think someone is using it as a sig):"I don't speak on behalf of deserts."I believe that  Bronxmarc has that quote on his sig...i could be wrong.  

This message was edited by reillyluck on 11-7-06 @ 2:53 PM

Earlshog

11-08-2006, 10:22 AM

Perry stop being a cryberry

lleeder

11-08-2006, 02:16 PM

and later after that "fuck you we'll fuck you like a donkey..in the ass"

FezPaul

11-08-2006, 02:56 PM

lleeder wrote: and later after that "fuck you we'll fuck you like a donkey..in the ass" And since some people refer to a donkey as an ass...that's almost brilliant.If only I could believe it was intentional.

This message was edited by FezPaul on 11-8-06 @ 6:56 PM

FezPaul

11-09-2006, 09:29 AM

<table cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" width="90%" align="center" border="0"><tr><td>DjAnalLightBulb wrote:</td></tr><tr><td class="quote">ESD: "It wasn't just some Johnny Apple-tree" </td></tr></table><img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/king.gif" border="0" />

ralphbxny

11-09-2006, 11:48 AM

reillyluck wrote: FezPaul wrote: From a while back (and I think someone is using it as a sig):"I don't speak on behalf of deserts."I believe that  Bronxmarc has that quote on his sig...i could be wrong.  This message was edited by reillyluck on 11-7-06 @ 2:53 PM You are correct!

lleeder

11-09-2006, 01:48 PM

"Mr.Slimjim cause I'll tear you apart and snap into you like a slimjim" or some nonsense like that

Fez4PrezN2008

11-09-2006, 05:29 PM

ESD - Your body has red cells, white cells, and blue cells...

Earlshog

11-14-2006, 09:21 AM

jay mohr gave it to me in a coheise

Doctor Z

11-14-2006, 09:22 AM

watson

11-14-2006, 03:30 PM

Thanksgiving isnt a major holiday

killie

11-14-2006, 06:48 PM

How much of ESD is an act?

mikeyboy

11-14-2006, 06:51 PM

lleeder wrote: "There are some bad eggs in the barrel" I think this may be genius because it appears to mix 3 metaphors."One bad apple spoils the bunch""A good egg""shooting fish in a barrel"

FezPaul

11-14-2006, 06:56 PM

mikeyboy wrote: lleeder wrote: "There are some bad eggs in the barrel" I think this may be genius because it appears to mix 3 metaphors."One bad apple spoils the bunch""A good egg""shooting fish in a barrel"More fun than a barrel full of monkeys.Ham and egger.Shooting fish in a barrel. (If you were shooting fish in a barrel and the barrel was in a pool on a cruise liner....)Hit 'im with both barrels (or in this case cowbells).

FezPaul

11-14-2006, 06:57 PM

killie wrote: How much of ESD is an act? 2%

Earlshog

11-15-2006, 10:38 AM

she's a catholic and there are things called forgivness...

Billy Staples

11-15-2006, 07:02 PM

watson wrote: Thanksgiving isnt a major holiday As a matter of fact outside the United States, I'd bet its not a holiday at all

Earlshog

11-16-2006, 05:20 AM

Billy Staples wrote: watson wrote: Thanksgiving isnt a major holiday As a matter of fact outside the United States, I'd bet its not a holiday at allI'll go out on a limb and say  July fourth, Labor Day, Memorial Day, Martin Luther King Day, and Presidents Day aren't big outside the US either

This message was edited by Earlshog on 11-16-06 @ 9:20 AM

Earlshog

11-16-2006, 09:40 AM

well that went up in smithereens

lleeder

11-18-2006, 09:54 AM

ESD: Shes sweet as punchRon:Punch isn't sweetESD: Hawaiian Punch Is<a href="http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://homepage.mac.com/hom1/punch.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx%3Fuser%3Dfranksabunch%26nextdate%3D5%252 F24%252F2005%2B23%253A59%253A59.999&h=142&w=200&sz =25&hl=en&start=3&tbnid=qHGqVw-MzhDAuM:&tbnh=74&tbnw=104&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dhawaiian%2Bpunch%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3D en%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN"><img src="http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:qHGqVw-MzhDAuM:http://homepage.mac.com/hom1/punch.jpg" border="0" width="104" height="74" /></a>

lleeder

11-28-2006, 01:23 PM

When talking about Jesse Jackson today"Hes a pasture isn't he"

Fezticle98

12-01-2006, 10:32 AM

"What's the proper name for a shish kabob? A shish karobert!"Maybe not blown, but it blew.

sailor

12-01-2006, 10:46 AM

ralphbxny wrote: reillyluck wrote: FezPaul wrote: From a while back (and I think someone is using it as a sig):"I don't speak on behalf of deserts."I believe that Bronxmarc has that quote on his sig...i could be wrong. This message was edited by reillyluck on 11-7-06 @ 2:53 PM You are correct! i feel so special!!

Earlshog

12-01-2006, 10:54 AM

talking about Frankenbury he is going to school to become an occountant

This message was edited by Earlshog on 12-1-06 @ 2:54 PM

FezPaul

12-01-2006, 10:55 AM

On his Big A song: I recorded 8 vocals and sunc 'em up.

watson

12-03-2006, 10:56 AM

from Mondays show"USC all the way""No way USC can be beat"

underdog

12-11-2006, 10:50 AM

(when talking about Ricky Williams) "He's a little tippy toe in the loafers"

Don Stugots

12-11-2006, 11:57 AM

Earlshog wrote: Billy Staples wrote: watson wrote: Thanksgiving isnt a major holiday As a matter of fact outside the United States, I'd bet its not a holiday at allI'll go out on a limb and say July fourth, Labor Day, Memorial Day, Martin Luther King Day, and Presidents Day aren't big outside the US either This message was edited by Earlshog on 11-16-06 @ 9:20 AM no MLK day in Mexico?  damn racist!!!

Rockvillejoe

12-11-2006, 12:08 PM

Not a blown line, but an absolute gem that went unrewarded by any and all on the show:Regarding how many men does it take to beat a Polar bear, Ron asked ESD if he had ever been in a fight with an animal. ESD's response, and I papraphrase: "Once, with a tennis ball and a squirrel". That's gold jerry.I can see him now, all confidant with that wiffle ball prowress. Determined look on his face, going toe to toe with one of the most domesticated, "wild" animals 1/50 his size.

fohat

12-11-2006, 05:54 PM

(From the FRED recomendations)"They were considered to be a Velvet Underground for the 90's, that was their stigmata" I'm pretty sure that's the second time I've heard him use the word "stigmata" incorrectly this month.  ESD has a Christ fetish, apparently

sailor

12-14-2006, 01:23 PM

not exactly a blown line, but "quarters ARE the best coins"  hearing ron just sigh after that one was priceless.  poor ronnie.

lleeder

12-14-2006, 01:29 PM

bronxmarc wrote: not exactly a blown line, but "quarters ARE the best coins"  hearing ron just sigh after that one was priceless.  poor ronnie. I was hoping Ronny would say "Great tell that the dimes that are crying there eyes out right now"

Don Stugots

12-14-2006, 01:39 PM

lleeder wrote: bronxmarc wrote: not exactly a blown line, but "quarters ARE the best coins" hearing ron just sigh after that one was priceless. poor ronnie. I was hoping Ronny would say "Great tell that the dimes that are crying there eyes out right now" <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/clap.gif" border="0" />

fohat

12-15-2006, 04:46 PM

12/14, Miss Bathroom Etiquette Earl Dave - "The one on the right was as dry as the Sara Harry desert, first of all, and-."Ron - "What Desert?"Dave - "The Sara Harry desertRon - "He couldn't pretend to be this stupid, that's how fuckin' dumb he is" Bwahahaaaaa <3 ESD 

This message was edited by fohat on 12-15-06 @ 8:49 PM

epo

12-15-2006, 05:36 PM

12/15 - During Board Gossip:  Over at Cruelcircus.com.  I guess PerryNoid runs two sites?  <a href="http://www.cosmiccircus.com/">www.cosmiccircus.com</a>

lleeder

01-09-2007, 12:56 PM

"Spread thin butter still tastes good on toast""Cut me up slice, slice, like ribbon, til I'm cut out of the picture"

Badinia

01-09-2007, 01:17 PM

<hr color="cococo" align="left">STUGOTS1 wrote: Earlshog wrote: Billy Staples wrote: watson wrote: Thanksgiving isnt a major holiday As a matter of fact outside the United States, I'd bet its not a holiday at allI'll go out on a limb and say July fourth, Labor Day, Memorial Day, Martin Luther King Day, and Presidents Day aren't big outside the US either This message was edited by Earlshog on 11-16-06 @ 9:20 AMÿno MLK day in Mexico?ÿ damn racist!!!<hr color="cococo" align="left">

I got some sad news for you, they don't even get MLK day in the South, really. My entire Texas family is workin' while I am sitting back, reverently considering The Man.

Badinia

01-09-2007, 01:21 PM

Oh, but my favorite Pantsman line today is "I'm gonna hit him....from here to Punchshine!"What?

FezPaul

01-18-2007, 10:50 AM

This money's burning pockets in my hole.

norzef

01-18-2007, 02:18 PM

HELP!!...HELP!!...SOMBODY HELP ME!!!

lleeder

01-23-2007, 04:24 PM

wake up fresh as a bushy tail

lleeder

01-26-2007, 04:27 PM

I know how to cheese mix with em

lleeder

03-02-2007, 03:38 PM

Set sail for greener waters.Proke

Sleeves

03-02-2007, 03:53 PM

this wasn't on-air...but when i went in to the XM studios on Fight Day, Dave came out into the general area...someone asked him how he was feeling - he said he was gonna kill the rider and then quieter he said "I'm gonna crush him like a can of stems."

HBox

03-02-2007, 10:38 PM

This was from Thursday. He had a ton of blown lines this week but this is my favorite: "You son of bitch. You son of bitch and big time double cross!"

poekicker

03-03-2007, 12:33 PM

Commenting on Frenchie's starting a second R&F paltalk room, "too many birds in one stone."I think was a a bastardization of "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" and "too many chefs spoil the broth" (or in Dave's case, spoils the Westside), and then he just threw the word "stone" in there because it sounds cliche-ish.

TonyBagels

03-05-2007, 10:03 AM

Here's two from Thursday the 1st "The way dolphins have nightmares of tuna." "Too many birds in one stone."

TonyBagels

03-07-2007, 06:34 AM

from yesterday's XM I go in a hundred degrees.

lleeder

03-12-2007, 03:51 PM

Wolf's come in Sheeps clothing

boeman

03-12-2007, 04:00 PM

poekicker wrote: Commenting on Frenchie's starting a second R&F paltalk room, "too many birds in one stone."I think was a a bastardization of "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" and "too many chefs spoil the broth" (or in Dave's case, spoils the Westside), and then he just threw the word "stone" in there because it sounds cliche-ish.  I'd say it's more of a bastardization of "Killed two birds with one stone" and "Too many chefs in the kitchen"

TonyBagels

03-15-2007, 10:33 AM

Maybe we should bury the hatch.

JohnWC

03-15-2007, 01:03 PM

On the Pogues concert: "I'm going to be calling Roseland frenetically"

sailor

03-22-2007, 09:19 AM

"i swear to cod" 3/22/07 xm show

ralphbxny

03-22-2007, 09:22 AM

sailor wrote: "i swear to cod" 3/22/07 xm show ya beat me too it!!Hysterical!

Cleophus James

03-22-2007, 06:08 PM

Couple days ago-They sold the deed to my car.

Sleeves

03-26-2007, 01:11 PM

Just wanted to say that this was the thread that inspired the "Mick's Metaphor" song...

Thanks for keeping track of Dave's "special talkings"... :)

Badinia

03-26-2007, 01:22 PM

Ron: Who came up with that, the DC connection?
Dave: Me did!

J.Clints

03-26-2007, 01:40 PM

I thought dave had a great show today But hell I should have known someone would bitch about it.:furious:

lleeder

03-26-2007, 03:18 PM

Just wanted to say that this was the thread that inspired the "Mick's Metaphor" song...

Thanks for keeping track of Dave's "special talkings"... :)

Great Song budday. Way to make posts into a great toe tapping number.

lleeder

04-10-2007, 02:49 PM

You can't throw cold water on the wet towel today.

Bob Impact

04-10-2007, 02:52 PM

You can't throw cold water on the wet towel today.

DAMN IT! Beat me to it.

Midkiff

04-10-2007, 04:26 PM

I think he should have his counseling license rebuffed!

poorcupine

04-10-2007, 04:31 PM

(dave) we're going to be the best marriage... thing...
(ron) you mean husband and wife
(dave) at's it :wallbash:

drjoek

04-10-2007, 06:48 PM

Badinia

04-10-2007, 07:11 PM

I'm not gonna sissyfoot around!

celery

04-10-2007, 09:04 PM

You can't throw cold water on the wet towel today.

What was he even going for here? "Wet blanket"?

BLZBUBBA

04-11-2007, 11:18 AM

Mr. Doug.

sailor

04-11-2007, 11:24 AM

Today on FM
Dave was talking about Earl bringing 2 dates to the wedding and said that there are couples like that their "polymorphous"
i believe he meant polyamorous but who the fuck knows with that dope

yeah, i was driving around in my car and was flipping out that he got that wrong. i tried to call, but couldn't get thru.

EliSnow

04-11-2007, 11:35 AM

Boom Boom

04-11-2007, 08:49 PM

"goodbye mr. dad."

weekapaugjz

04-11-2007, 08:58 PM

"goodbye mr. dad."

i thought i heard that too but wasn't sure. haa. the other one i liked was, "yeah, we can go to the diner, maybe, and get some hamburgers."

he was caught off guard by that call and im sure i would have been stumbling over my own words if i was in a similar situation.

patsopinion

04-11-2007, 08:59 PM

Earl corrected him when ESD brought the Earl +2 was first brought up ago recently. Hasn't stopped ESD from mispronouncing it since.

or polygamists

sailor

04-12-2007, 09:03 AM

or polygamists

it was going out with couples, not marrying multiples.

sailor

04-12-2007, 09:05 AM

about popping the question. "either give her the ring, or get out the kitchen!!"

sailor

04-12-2007, 10:29 AM

"even astronauts are barely astronauts."

LilLibra

04-12-2007, 11:10 AM

"even astronauts are barely astronauts."

...What does that even mean??

MadMatt

04-12-2007, 11:13 AM

"even astronauts are barely astronauts."

Is it bad that I understood what he meant?

patsopinion

04-12-2007, 11:13 AM

...What does that even mean??

the image and heroism of past space explorers has been replaced by automation, computers, and technology.

oh man
this could be a problem

Boom Boom

04-12-2007, 01:44 PM

i thought i heard that too but wasn't sure. haa. the other one i liked was, "yeah, we can go to the diner, maybe, and get some hamburgers."

he was caught off guard by that call and im sure i would have been stumbling over my own words if i was in a similar situation.

There's no doubt he was stumbling...funny as hell though. I can't imagine I would have done any better...well maybe a little.

lleeder

04-13-2007, 02:38 PM

If I have to go onto the mountain tops to shoot it out, I will

FreshJ

04-13-2007, 09:02 PM

This seems like the best thread for this one....made me laugh.

Dave "I don't understand the new ronfez.net format."

Saint Mikeyboy of the internet "It's just a different color Dave."

That may possilby be the line of the week.....Congradulations to Mikeyboy.

sailor

04-17-2007, 03:26 PM

"last time i checked, richard gere was mr hollywood. or, at least one of them."

FezPaul

04-17-2007, 04:15 PM

When Ron said that Po doesn't have a blackbelt in love..

Dave tried to follow with..

"He can't defend himself...against pain...of the heart."

Then Dave started laughing at his own blown line and Ron said "I was just gonna let it go and move on."

It was just a hysterical moment.

Scruluse

04-17-2007, 06:18 PM

I'm still trying to figure out the "Shit in a Crow" thing. Am I the only one that has never heard that before?

drusilla

04-18-2007, 10:18 AM

"he webed a weave of deceit"

Midkiff

04-18-2007, 12:54 PM

I'm gonna drink like a sailor on the biggest fishing vessel there is!

drusilla

04-18-2007, 08:51 PM

listening to the replay:

"he webbed such a tangled weave of deceit"

Cleophus James

04-20-2007, 10:16 AM

"I'm Fucking Everything up"

sailor

04-20-2007, 10:42 AM

party boy.

TonyBagels

04-30-2007, 08:45 AM

(about younger women (or gay guy) having an older gentleman taking care of her/him)

I think gay guys have a chocolate daddy too.

lleeder

04-30-2007, 02:35 PM

Its not really a blown line but it was a blown joke.

"was she reading a Donna Reed analogy book"

drusilla

04-30-2007, 03:03 PM

(about younger women (or gay guy) having an older gentleman taking care of her/him)

I think gay guys have a chocolate daddy too.

"chocolate daddy" was just priceless.

sailor

05-01-2007, 09:28 AM

from spinal tap "fine line between clever and brilliant"

he was going for "fine line between clever and stupid"

TonyBagels

05-03-2007, 03:37 AM

(I believe he meant instructor on this one)

The NTSB thinks it was the pilot that was flying the plane.

underdog

05-03-2007, 08:49 PM

The whole thing about the deer population going out of control if there were no bears had me crying I was laughing so hard. And the way Ron made fun of him was hilarious.

PapaBear

05-03-2007, 08:55 PM

from spinal tap "fine line between clever and brilliant"

he was going for "fine line between clever and stupid"
In my opinion, Dave was absolved for that one when the caller screwed it up, too. That made it even funnier!

sailor

05-04-2007, 09:31 AM

"pona..." dave trying to say "panama canal"

sailor

05-04-2007, 09:32 AM

In my opinion, Dave was absolved for that one when the caller screwed it up, too. That made it even funnier!

i wouldn't say absolved, but it was really funny.

sailor

05-08-2007, 02:50 PM

talking aboot a breatholizer built into your car, davey said if you blew over a certain limit your car wouldn't "ignite"

Badinia

05-08-2007, 02:58 PM

Dogs have nearly the minds of human!

http://www.badinia.com/EmoPugly1152428923.jpg

johnniewalker

05-09-2007, 04:47 PM

"Jagr go back to Russia on your rocket!"

ralphbxny

05-10-2007, 07:17 AM

When he said, Shrubby is doing a great job...he isnt scared like Earl..Shrubby doesnt have the fear in his eyes!!

Cleophus James

05-10-2007, 09:14 AM

"let me see it and touch it a little bit" -ref to Earls Dick

lleeder

05-12-2007, 11:50 AM

I'm gone like a unicorn, their exstinct.

lleeder

05-17-2007, 03:52 PM

I couldn't sell snow to an iceman.

underdog

05-18-2007, 01:04 PM

Talking to an Indian guy challenging him to a fight :

"I'll see you when I believe it."

Earlshog

05-18-2007, 01:08 PM

Talking to an Indian guy challenging him to a fight :

"I'll see you when I believe it."

that one really made me laugh... Classic Dave!!!

lleeder

05-18-2007, 01:08 PM

You must be out of fashion cause orange is in and your green with jealousy.

ralphbxny

05-18-2007, 01:09 PM

Green with Jealousy!!!

ralphbxny

05-18-2007, 01:09 PM

I thought you were banned...scooped me once again!

lleeder

05-19-2007, 08:19 AM

In reference to Winnie being a partier Your a nightinggale

lleeder

05-19-2007, 08:20 AM

Maybe I'll write him a pen letter.

ChimneyFish

05-19-2007, 10:14 AM

To Mike the Teacher in reference to alien beings:

"Their technology is far superior to our understanding of their technology."

sailor

05-23-2007, 05:00 AM

earl walking around miscellaneously

sailor

05-23-2007, 05:03 AM

dave: casey is classic beauty mixed with modern hottiness.

ron: what?

dave: i don't know.

IMSlacker

05-23-2007, 10:46 AM

"Zig Hail!"

lleeder

05-23-2007, 12:24 PM

We have too much water under the bridge to blow that bridge up with dynomite.

AngelAmy

05-23-2007, 02:13 PM

oops

underdog

05-24-2007, 03:06 PM

I love Dave on the show, but I never really realized how much he gets wrong. Whenever Ron ask why something is happening or what the explanation for something is, Dave is quick to answer, but he's almost never right. It's crazy. But fucking hilarious.

sailor

05-24-2007, 03:13 PM

We have too much water under the bridge to blow that bridge up with dynomite.

his line was actually a lot worse. i don't recall verbatim, but it was something to the effect of too much water has gone under that bridge to disassemble it (take it apart?) with dynamite. if he'd said blowing it up, even that would have made too much sense for him.

lleeder

05-24-2007, 03:56 PM

Talking about Point/Counterpoint

Dave: The thing I liked about yours is when you said the whites.

Ron: No, I said the blacks.

Dave: Oh yea I meant the Blacks

lleeder

05-24-2007, 04:38 PM

Talking about an old Charles Manson:

Old people who are senile aren't dangerous.

chubb257

05-29-2007, 11:00 AM

This hasn't been added to in a while but I thought he had a good one today but I don't know the exact wording. I think he was talking about his wedding

"I'm trying to get this train back in line"

and

"Fool me once, shame on me".......oooooh so close sooory sooory. but this is just being really picky, so don't count it.

Just remembered another one;

"You son of a stent"

sailor

05-31-2007, 03:17 PM

"Fool me once, shame on me".......oooooh so close sooory sooory. but this is just being really picky, so don't count it.

nah, that was a great one. and then there's:

"i've got $500 in my wallet...my atm wallet..."

Fezticle98

05-31-2007, 08:16 PM

You son of a cock! Jizz face!

TheRealEddie

05-31-2007, 11:06 PM

Dont tell Ron but I think this thread beats his LOTD thread for funny...:flush:

gymshoes

06-01-2007, 10:03 PM

weekapaugjz

06-01-2007, 10:15 PM

gymshoes, great first post budday! that video is fucking hysterical.

RonsEvilTwin

06-02-2007, 09:09 AM

dave: "definitely not Herpes"

lleeder

06-05-2007, 02:59 PM

There were two classics today when he was pissed at Tax Cuntz:

It sends me up to Cloud 9.

Someone give me the pills cause I'm hallucinating. Call me Davey LSD.

underdog

06-05-2007, 03:14 PM

There were two classics today when he was pissed at Tax Cuntz:

It sends me up to Cloud 9.

Someone give me the pills cause I'm hallucinating. Call me Davey LSD.

The Cloud 9 one had be howling.

He also threw out something like, "we let water under the bridge".

JohnWC

07-17-2007, 08:16 AM

"Don't shoot off your mouth when you're in the kitchen.. as the phrase goes." - ESD discussing the shit eating

"I've never heard that phrase" - Fez

ralphbxny

07-17-2007, 08:29 AM

Ron: You are the effiel tower of shit eaters!!!

ESD: Thanks!!

celery

07-17-2007, 04:23 PM

"Don't shoot off your mouth when you're in the kitchen.. as the phrase goes." - ESD discussing the shit eating

"I've never heard that phrase" - Fez

This might be my favorite all-time Dave line - absolute brilliance.

hammersavage

07-27-2007, 03:29 AM

I thought we'd be up to page 10 after yesterday. He was getting so excited talking about red heads. Just a couple I remember.

Dave: "It's like a walking Frankenstein."

Fez: "Frankenstein walked..."

Dave: "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words...." (then trailed off not nowing how to finish it because it would have contradicted his point)

He's a dummy. I love him.

hammersavage

07-27-2007, 07:45 AM

Another one:

About "Wendy"-

"Her freckles looked like saucers. Like giant tapeworms."

I believe he meant ringworm.

ChimneyFish

07-27-2007, 11:01 AM

"This is the hour of our pain, but it's also the hour of our championship"

Probably one of the most insane things I've ever heard anyone say in my life.

sailor

08-08-2007, 11:40 PM

off to lava-lava land.

donnie_darko

08-10-2007, 05:58 PM

8/9/07 Dave totally said he though lime disease came from fleas..
WTS

sailor

08-14-2007, 04:48 PM

on earl's mounting insanity: i think he needs electro-shop therapy.

PapaBear

09-25-2007, 01:21 AM

It's easier to find a needle in a stack of needles....

sailor

09-25-2007, 03:26 AM

It's easier to find a needle in a stack of needles....

either dave didn't blow any lines in over a month or we're getting lazy. fuckin' lazy bums. :)

underdog

10-09-2007, 10:07 AM

About Earl being a loner :

Dave : He's a lone shark.

lleeder

10-09-2007, 12:23 PM

In reference to Pink Floyd's Animals
Animals was literally about animals.

jauble

10-10-2007, 09:50 AM

But your a girl

dmac1476

10-10-2007, 03:21 PM

http://www.shark-pictures.com/images/homepage/great-white-shark.jpg (http://www.shark-pictures.com/pictures/great-white-shark.html) http://67.15.62.77/_gallery/_TN/0028-0401-2015-3317_TN.jpg (http://www.acclaimimages.com/_gallery/_pages/0028-0401-2015-3317.html)
"i am the wereshark"

"i like making "wereshark" MOOVEES!"

PopPop

10-17-2007, 04:40 PM

It sure was funny to hear him try to dig out of the

"girlfriend"
line when he was talking about his Mom. Ew!:thumbdown:

lleeder

10-18-2007, 01:23 PM

Its like calling Meredith Baxter Burney, Hellraiser.

about Hank and Hal Steinbrenner:
They're very much dare I say Shakespearean figures...because they're surrounded with cloak and mystery.

Lily: She's some actrist she's Irish...
Dave: Milla Jovovich?

Yes, Strummer was named after the dog.

foodcourtdruide

10-19-2007, 10:50 AM

When talking about Steinbrenner's kids taking over Dave says that an ex-yankee like Reggie Jackson should be the new owner. He thinks like a child.

Badinia

10-19-2007, 10:55 AM

Fez: (from coffin) Who's gonna fit in half a coffin?

Dave: Verne Troyer?

lleeder

10-21-2007, 01:02 PM

I never knew that was a hubbub of activity.

lleeder

10-22-2007, 02:26 PM

Then Florida could be overrun with worms or whatever it is snowbirds eat.

It seems to me if I could play diagnastick doctor.

hafast

10-22-2007, 02:58 PM

I don't know if it counts as a blown line, but I got a kick out of Dave telling Fez that fighting fire with fire only works in stupid cliches, then proceeding to tell him he needed to stop and smell the roses.

furie

10-22-2007, 03:07 PM

Ice Blimps? you fucking moron, blimp function by being lighter than air. Ice is heavier than air, which is why it snows.
What the holy hell...

TeeBone

10-22-2007, 05:28 PM

"I don't think what Hillary Clinton is saying is all that different from what George Bush is saying."

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!

Have you seen The Senator from New York's Health Care plan?
- sounds like socialism to me.

I am not sure if Dave said this or someone else but it's so unbelievably dumb, it had to be Dave. Also, even if you are familiar with Florida or not, you have to know that 'snowbirds' are people and not worm-eating birds. Sometimes I can't tell if Dave is the perfect foil with his bits or if he really is stupid. Either way, he is extremely entertaining.

Keep up the work, Dave.

underdog

10-22-2007, 05:31 PM

"I don't think what Hillary Clinton is saying is all that different from what George Bush is saying."

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!

Uhh... that was Ron who said that.

His point is that all major politicians are the same. No matter what they say, you're going to get the same dumb results. They're just all career politicians.

TeeBone

10-22-2007, 05:44 PM

Uhh... that was Ron who said that.

His point is that all major politicians are the same. No matter what they say, you're going to get the same dumb results. They're just all career politicians.

I think the world of Ron Bennington, but his point makes no sense at all to me. You are allowed to disagree with someone, right?
I do however; agree with the notion of career politicians, but regardless what aspirations a politician has for his/herself, there is a clear line between what A Clinton and a Bush represents ideologically. Its the same reason why we have 2 parties constantly at war with one another over how the other thinks and feel over issues such as health care----Neither party wants the other to be responsible for initiating widespread change and thusly be viewed as correct about anything. It leads to loss of power and loss of control. So, the root of the issue really is-----what do politicians stand for?
If what you are saying is that all politicians stand for is power, greed and control; I tend to believe that to a degree but no so much to say that Clintons and Bushes will ever see eye to eye on pressing political matters. Especially when a Presidential race is at hand.
They wait until afterward when they are 'friends' and help line each other pockets for fund raising efforts, etc...

sailor

10-22-2007, 05:48 PM

I think the world of Ron Bennington, but his point makes no sense at all to me. You are allowed to disagree with someone, right?
I do however; agree with the notion of career politicians, but regardless what aspirations a politician has for his/herself, there is a clear line between what A Clinton and a Bush represents ideologically. Its the same reason why we have 2 parties constantly at war with one another over how the other thinks and feel over issues such as health care----Neither party wants the other to be responsible for initiating widespread change and thusly be viewed as correct about anything. It leads to loss of power and loss of control. So, the root of the issue really is-----what do politicians stand for?
If what you are saying is that all politicians stand for is power, greed and control; I tend to believe that to a degree but no so much to say that Clintons and Bushes will ever see eye to eye on pressing political matters. Especially when a Presidential race is at hand.
They wait until afterward when they are 'friends' and help line each other pockets for fund raising efforts, etc...

the root of the issue is it makes no sense in this thread.

TeeBone

10-22-2007, 06:21 PM

Agreed Sailor, but it did a little when it was challenged. I guess I over-explained.

lleeder

10-22-2007, 06:58 PM

TeeBone has sullied what was such a joy for Sailor and myself. Please strike the last 5 posts from the record.:thumbdown:

TeeBone

10-22-2007, 07:25 PM

Again, duly noted.....I'll take my lumps.

drjoek

10-22-2007, 07:37 PM

Again, duly noted.....I'll take my lumps.

All part of the ronfez.net learning curve
Don't give up

lleeder

10-24-2007, 01:49 PM

Dave: It is so mysterious no one knows what hale is?
Ron: Yeah, its ice.

speaking about future humans and robots
We'd both be allergic to magnets.

speaking about his bed
We revolutionized things. We sleep in the same bed but we use 2 blankets.

sailor

10-28-2007, 05:43 AM

a pound of bottled water weighs way more than a pound of tap water.

i loved that it was the chlorine that made the tap water so light.

Axem Red

10-29-2007, 08:58 AM

Your the caughter...or the catcher.

sailor

10-31-2007, 04:41 PM

not really a blown line, but dave told baby love "F.U." when called on it he responded with something like "what? i didn't say the words."

sailor

11-02-2007, 03:03 AM

on matty fridays, a certain xm exec and jim from the office: the three of you are like twins!

jauble

11-05-2007, 11:25 AM

on matty fridays, a certain xm exec and jim from the office: the three of you are like twins!

I had a really nasty cold when I heard that line...started laughing so hard I went into a 15 minute coughing fit

lleeder

11-05-2007, 01:36 PM

She helped 69 him out of the bar.

sailor

11-06-2007, 04:59 PM

these two were fun today: machalavelian and incontroversial evidence. i really think dave may just be a genius.

S0S

11-14-2007, 08:20 PM

"you can't really pet shit balls"

:flush:

S0S

11-14-2007, 08:36 PM

To Lilly: "She was the wedding planner .. and look how that turned out" Laughs

lleeder

11-28-2007, 03:21 PM

That puts the icing on the cookie

sailor

11-28-2007, 03:37 PM

That puts the icing on the cookie

dammit, i was gonna post that one as soon as i got home.

King Hippos Bandaid

11-28-2007, 03:54 PM

That puts the icing on the cookie

dammit, i was gonna post that one as soon as i got home.

I dont post here, but was thinking of this thread when I heard Dave say icing on cookie

:king;

underdog

11-28-2007, 09:07 PM

I can't really convey this through letters, but when Dave said "That arabic chef on Top Chef", but completely mispronounced Arabic, so much so that Fez and Ron were sort of speechless for a second, made me spit out my beer.

Not to mention that she's not a chef, either.

MikeB

11-28-2007, 09:57 PM

but completely mispronounced Arabic, so much so that Fez and Ron were sort of speechless for a second, made me spit out my beer.

I hope you were not listening live.

underdog

11-29-2007, 06:24 AM

I hope you were not listening live.

No, I wasn't.

I guess drinking beer at 2pm on a Wednesday might have been a bad sign.

Slumbag

11-29-2007, 11:18 PM

The boys were talking about the Coen Bros. originally wanting James Brolin to play Llewlyn in "No Country for Old Men". According to Earl, Josh Brolin showed up and they liked him so much, and they had to re-write the script.

Dave: I heard that Dennis Hopper, according to Earl, originally wanted Peter Fonda in "Easy Rider"

*silence*

Ron: Peter Fonda was in "Easy Rider" you fucking idiot.

HOLY SHIT, I was laughing my ass off.

sailor

12-04-2007, 06:01 PM

meaning who made you judge and jury dave said "who made you justice jury?"

jesus isn't mad at us, but i would say he's pissed at us.

bar 9 is a ny historical landmine.

sailor

12-04-2007, 06:02 PM

we aren't independent thinkers in america...we all watch the superbowl when they tell us to.

TrevorDodds

12-04-2007, 06:43 PM

that peter fonda line was fuckin hilarious. ron was priceless in his reaction. i literally had to pull over i was laughing so hard.

MM2

12-05-2007, 04:23 AM

meaning who made you judge and jury dave said "who made you justice jury?"

jesus isn't mad at us, but i would say he's pissed at us.

bar 9 is a ny historical landmine.

That landmine line was hilarious, he caught it pretty quickly, but it was still classic Dave!

Cleophus James

12-07-2007, 10:10 AM

My wife is very fidelity.

DiabloSammich

12-07-2007, 02:58 PM

meaning who made you judge and jury dave said "who made you justice jury?"

jesus isn't mad at us, but i would say he's pissed at us.

bar 9 is a ny historical landmine.

As soon as he threw out the landmine line I thought of this thread.

It was the same day when he said "Muhammed Ali was not a boaster."

:blink:

sailor

12-07-2007, 05:23 PM

not exactly a blown line, but on the subject of his dad's pancakes:

i can't go to ihop, can't go to anybody else besides daddy-cakes.

foodcourtdruide

12-10-2007, 09:36 AM

I don't want to sound like a Dave basher, because I love him and think the show is better WITH him, but his opinions and ideas about religion are so amazingly stupid and ignorant. He has his own belief system, which is totally fine. However, it annoys me that he calls it Catholicism. Where in the bible does it say that heaven has DVD players that allows you to watch events on Earth? I don't care that Dave bases his opinions of spirituality and divinity on Defending Your Life, but it annoys me that he considers himself Catholic. In religious arguments on the show, Dave constantly acts like he is of the correct faith that will get him into Heaven, but he:

A. Knows very little about his faith.
B. Doesn't even follow the things he KNOWS about.

But I digress. I love Dave.

jauble

12-10-2007, 09:38 AM

foodcourtdruide

12-10-2007, 09:53 AM

so what was the line?

There are so many, his comment that you could watch DVD's of Earth in Heaven was one. Also, his insane tirade about Jesus being the first creator of the affordable chair with a back on it was another. He called Moses an Apostle. His inability to comprehend complex thoughts that Ron presents. His idea that God would clone famous people so Dave could have a meet and greet in Heaven.

I guess this is sorta the wrong thread for my post, but I didn't want to start another Dave bashing thread.

lleeder

12-11-2007, 12:57 PM

The D in Mikey D stands for diluted.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. It was like caroling a barrel of monkeys.

The mentee beat the mentor.

Don't you mean Icoe, in case or emergency?

Sometimes we're not the most illustrative family.

underdog

12-11-2007, 07:54 PM

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. It was like caroling a barrel of monkeys.

I'm pretty sure you cannot butcher a line worse than that.

Chigworthy

12-11-2007, 07:58 PM

The D in Mikey D stands for diluted.

de·lude /dɪˈlud/
–verb (used with object), -lud·ed, -lud·ing. 1. to mislead the mind or judgment of; deceive: His conceit deluded him into believing he was important.

Dave was falsely called on this one.

sailor

12-11-2007, 11:53 PM

de·lude /dɪˈlud/
–verb (used with object), -lud·ed, -lud·ing. 1. to mislead the mind or judgment of; deceive: His conceit deluded him into believing he was important.

Dave was falsely called on this one.

falsely?

Chigworthy

12-12-2007, 05:42 AM

falsely?

Yes.

A.J.

12-12-2007, 08:12 AM

"Opie and Anthony Hughes"

Fez4PrezN2008

12-12-2007, 03:33 PM

Regarding Roland - "He's insulting my pregnant child !"

Jughead

12-12-2007, 03:36 PM

Regarding Roland - "He's insulting my pregnant child !"

Good one beat me 2 it....

sailor

12-12-2007, 03:43 PM

falsely?

don't know if you're serious or not, but diluted was the actual word dave used.

Main Entry:
Pronunciation:
\dī-ˈlüt, də-\
Function:
transitive verb
Inflected Form(s):
di·lut·ed; di·lut·ing
Etymology:
Latin dilutus, past participle of diluere to wash away, dilute, from di- + lavere to wash — more at lye
Date:
circa 1555

1 : attenuate 2 : to make thinner or more liquid by admixture <diluted wine>

Freakshow

12-20-2007, 09:15 AM

She's a whirlish dervish.

A.J.

12-20-2007, 10:07 AM

"just because he can afford MontecrisCos..."

Chigworthy

12-20-2007, 10:43 AM

don't know if you're serious or not, but diluted was the actual word dave used.

Main Entry:
Pronunciation:
\dī-ˈlüt, də-\
Function:
transitive verb
Inflected Form(s):
di·lut·ed; di·lut·ing
Etymology:
Latin dilutus, past participle of diluere to wash away, dilute, from di- + lavere to wash — more at lye
Date:
circa 1555

1 : attenuate 2 : to make thinner or more liquid by admixture <diluted wine>

I'm only half serious, but diluted and deluded can sound the same, so maybe he got that one right.

PapaBear

12-20-2007, 05:10 PM

She's a whirlish dervish.
They have Dave trying to say that, now? Weird.

ahhdurr

01-08-2008, 09:16 AM

(To Ron) Don't be a dialing Thomas.

AlabamaMan

01-08-2008, 02:08 PM

Where is the Earl thread, I want to find out when the lie detector test is going to happen

BalloonKnotB

01-08-2008, 03:30 PM

The mentee beat the mentor.

Have to defend my favorite brain-addled red-head.

men·tee /mɛnˈti/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[men-tee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun a person who is guided by a mentor.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Origin: ment(or) + -ee]
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)

:smile:

cigarsandscotch

01-09-2008, 07:43 PM

nevermind

sailor

01-09-2008, 11:44 PM

I'm only half serious, but diluted and deluded can sound the same, so maybe he got that one right.

definitely didn't. they can sound similar, but he was very clearly wrong.

Gvac

01-10-2008, 02:41 AM

Not really a blown line, but I found it funny yesterday when Dave was arguing he'd rather be deaf than blind. He said he loved movies too much, and when Ronnie said you could just listen to the movie, Dave said "Who the fuck just wants to listen? I'd rather see something and not hear it than the other way around!"

All I could think was "Does he know he makes his living in radio?"

spoon

01-10-2008, 02:43 AM

underdog

01-10-2008, 09:43 PM

sailor

01-11-2008, 02:28 AM

"Jupiter is all gas? I thought it was solid?"

Maybe I'm just assuming people knew this, but doesn't everyone know that Jupiter is a gas giant? I mean, its part of the Gas Giants. This is like 2nd grade education.

but it's also stuff he would have learned over 20 years ago, and never needed again. heck, they make a tv game show based on the concept.

Heather 8

01-11-2008, 03:51 AM

boston beatdown

01-15-2008, 09:38 AM

Speaking about the Bible:

"There's such a hypocriticalness..."

ahhdurr

01-30-2008, 09:02 AM

"[he's] gay as the sun is long..."

sailor

01-31-2008, 09:27 AM

dark brown is black

Marc with a c

01-31-2008, 09:30 AM

"[he's] gay as the sun is long..."

ha i missed that one. i think i might like this thread better than ronnies thread.

sailor

01-31-2008, 11:08 AM

dave: "the whatley posse is like jesus. we thought we were peaceful, but now we're in that temple overturning tables and shit. and those tables are zman's blog tables. you piss us off, you get the raft. come on posse!"

fez: "it's wrath, not a raft. we're not giving away lifeboats."

even without the rafts that was hilarious.

spadanko

01-31-2008, 11:48 AM

dark brown is black

Dark Blue is also balck

sailor

02-01-2008, 01:30 PM

on a donation to scientology:

it's amazing and incredible. you don't hear people giving that much to an anthropologic cause. (meaning philanthropic)

lleeder

02-01-2008, 01:33 PM

on a donation to scientology:

it's amazing and incredible. you don't hear people giving that much to an anthropologic cause. (meaning philanthropic)

I couldn't wait to post this one. Nice work, that was a classic Dave mix up.

TeeBone

02-01-2008, 02:25 PM

on a donation to scientology:

it's amazing and incredible. you don't hear people giving that much to an anthropologic cause. (meaning philanthropic)

Dave obviously reads this thread and is tryng to get more additions to it.
Nobody could possibly be that stupid.
Ahhhh, the New Jersey school system.

sailor

02-05-2008, 01:57 PM

it's gonna be hard to vote against an POW to be honest with me

lleeder

02-05-2008, 05:42 PM

It was barely a blown line but yesterday:

My car got towed, I have to go down to the pound today to get it.

HBox

02-11-2008, 08:37 AM

"Martin Luther Thing"

And the weird thing is that you could feel it coming somehow.

DiabloSammich

02-11-2008, 08:39 AM

He said "Grand Central Park" so quck and smoothly I barely caught it.

Caseyelan

02-13-2008, 10:14 AM

Can I add ones he says at home?

"Can you put the disc in the movie machine?"

(dvd player)

DolaMight

02-13-2008, 10:21 AM

Can I add ones he says at home?

"Can you put the disc in the movie machine?"

(dvd player)

well at least he's shortened it from digital video disc player.

Badinia

02-13-2008, 04:55 PM

On HTG's ankle on the Ron Fez.net/Paltalk game-

"and that thing is- as limber as a buttercup!"

A lot of times, what Dave does are malapropisms, I can understand that he's thinking of a real saying. But this one is just...from space!

ahhdurr

02-28-2008, 08:21 AM

"like flies to a lamp" - esd.

(corrects himself later "like moths to a flame")

Coach

02-28-2008, 10:53 AM

he has more than Yogi Berra. Any time he talks he does one!

RhinoinMN

02-29-2008, 08:57 AM

Ginger Baker was a chick, right?

underdog

03-05-2008, 09:32 AM

He said, about sex talk, that kids would heed their parents words, but meant it as they wouldn't listen to their parents.

sailor

03-06-2008, 08:52 AM

singing pearl jam's - last kiss:

"so i can see my saby"

underdog

03-07-2008, 09:24 AM

These aren't even really blown lines, but the first one was when talking about shoving a bottle up his ass to make sure he wasn't gay. You know how you should determine if you're gay? If you're attracted to the same sex.

The second one, Anthony caught and laid into him, thankfully :

"Women have a much bigger hole for the catheter."