I CAN'T STOP SHITTING

[FMJeff]

<p>PLEASE G-D!</p><p>PLEASE. ENOUGH. YOU WIN. I FUCKING GIVE UP. I RENOUNCE MY JUDAISM. HITLER WAS RIGHT. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? </p><p>I have, for the last three days, endured a 102 degree fever and explosive diarrhea combined with unbearable stomach cramps and sweating. </p><p>My asshole is completely raw, stomach acid and bile have burned&nbsp;away healthy pink patina leaving this bright red ring of fire. </p><p>Wait, have to go right now and shit, brb.</p><p>Ok back. That wasn't even like a literary device or anything. It seems every 5 minutes I have to run to the toilet only to have my asshole spit turd lava. </p><p>I can't take it anymore, im going out of my mind. </p>

[mdr55]

What you eat???<br />

[SatCam]

missy didnt burp you after you nursed?

[Don Stugots]

<p>Jeff, first the sucking of nips and now this.&nbsp; you have to stop flirting with me, we are both married to beautiful women.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>seriously, feel better.&nbsp; maybe get a butt plug and drink some gatorade.&nbsp;</p>

[mdr55]

Just imagine if you won that luxery toilet that rooter rooter is promoting.<br />

[PapaBear]

On a serious note, make sure you don't dehydrate.

[legroommusic]

avoid spicy foods and drink lots of pedialyte. that'll stop the dehydration.

[sr71blackbird]

<img src="http://www.45acp.org/TACO%20BELL%20NOW%20HIRING.jpg" border="0" width="299" height="400" />&nbsp; <font size="6">???</font>

[FMJeff]

<strong>PapaBear</strong> wrote:<br />On a serious note, make sure you don't dehydrate.<p>&nbsp;</p><p>It's a fucking sickening cycle, i drink to rehydrate only to supply my diahhrea with more ammunition. </p><p>UGH here we go again......&nbsp;</p>

[mdr55]

Reverse biology. Eat white castles and taco bell.<br />

[FMJeff]

btw im convinced immodium is fucking snake oil

[Jughead]

You need to see a Dr asap....DRINK ALOT OF WATER!!!..AND LAY DOWN!!!<br /><strong>PapaBear</strong> wrote:<br />On a serious note, make sure you don't dehydrate.<p>&nbsp;</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by jughead46041 on 1-14-07 @ 9:16 PM</span>

[Ritalin]

<strong>PapaBear</strong> wrote:<br /><span style="background-color: #ffff00">On a serious note</span>, make sure you don't dehydrate.<p>Yes.</p><p>Serious responses only, please.&nbsp;</p>

[sr71blackbird]

Sounds like food poisoning.&nbsp; Seriously, see a Dr or get to the ER.&nbsp; Do you have pain on your sides?

[mdr55]

<p>Shit happens.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>What toilet paper do you use??? No the cheap stuff I hope.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Don't forget to was with soap. Before you touch that keyboard.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>If you don't...that's just sick!<br /> </p>

[Jughead]

You should be having this told to you because you BETTER BE LAYING DOWN......JUG

[samnyc]

How long have you been shitting liquid for?

[Death Metal Moe]

<strong>sr71blackbird</strong> wrote:<br />Sounds like food poisoning.&nbsp; Seriously, see a Dr or get to the ER.&nbsp; Do you have pain on your sides? <p>This is what I was going to suggest.</p><p>You haven't over reacted, you let what you hoped was a somewhat mild case of &quot;The Shits&quot; run a couple days.&nbsp; I always let a new pain, condition or general feeling have a couple days before I worry about it.</p><p>I would say that if you don't start seeing improvement tonight you have little choice but to go seek professional help.</p>

[PapaBear]

<strong>Death Metal Moe</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>sr71blackbird</strong> wrote:<br />Sounds like food poisoning.&nbsp; Seriously, see a Dr or get to the ER.&nbsp; Do you have pain on your sides? <p>This is what I was going to suggest.</p><p>You haven't over reacted, you let what you hoped was a somewhat mild case of &quot;The Shits&quot; <font style="background-color: #ffff00">run a couple days</font>.&nbsp; I always let a new pain, condition or general feeling have a couple days before I worry about it.</p><p>I would say that if you don't start seeing improvement tonight you have little choice but to go seek professional help.</p><p>Poor choice of words, or brilliant?</p>

[Doctor Z]

<p>These'll help get your asshole back in tip top shape:</p><p><img src="http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/Cottonelle_Wipes_BIG.jpg" border="0" alt="wipes" title="wipes" width="300" height="300" />&nbsp;</p>

[johnniewalker]

<p>I just learned if you have green diarrhea you have salmonella probably. &nbsp; Also if you have an underarm rash it might be aids.&nbsp; Thank you webmd. &nbsp; </p>

[Don Stugots]

<strong>Doctor_Z</strong> wrote:<br /><p>These'll help get your asshole back in tip top shape:</p><p><img src="http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/Cottonelle_Wipes_BIG.jpg" border="0" alt="wipes" title="wipes" width="300" height="300" /> </p><p>&nbsp;i love those, they make my butt feel so nice.&nbsp; </p>

[FMJeff]

<p>Ok its like a coppery, almost golden color to it...the actual shit itself is completely obliterated...if you've ever seen steak tartar or any kind of minced meat you'll understand...the liquid itself feels like the consequence of a night spent enjoying habanero poppers, but i assure you ive had no such spicy foods for the last 3 weeks since i was diagnosed with esophigal ulcers.</p><p>i am a fucking messssss&nbsp;</p>

[BrownTown]

<p>I feel your pain, bro.</p><p>Just about a year ago, I had a respiratory infection. My doctor put me on Amoxycillin, and all should've been fine after a couple of days. Instead, through his prescription I discovered that I am allergic to all the &quot;-cillans&quot; for which my personal reaction is pseudomembranous colitis (sounds pretty, right?). What ensued for the next four days was shitting literally every 10-15 minutes (that includes through the night, so I didn't sleep for the duration - a much worse fate than the raw ass &amp; constant stomach cramps). Not sure if you are on any sort of antibiotics, but if you are that could be the cause of your distress. If you are, get off them immediately, and get your doctor to put you on <span class="minusOne">Metronidazole</span>. It'll take 24-72 hours to totally clear you up, but the major pain will stop within a few hours of taking your first pill. </p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[Death Metal Moe]

<strong>Don Stugots</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Doctor_Z</strong> wrote:<br /><p>These'll help get your asshole back in tip top shape:</p><p><img src="http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/Cottonelle_Wipes_BIG.jpg" border="0" alt="wipes" title="wipes" width="300" height="300" /> </p><p>&nbsp;i love those, they make my butt feel so nice.&nbsp; </p><p>Agreed.&nbsp; Never have to battle 'Cranky Ass' again.&nbsp; These things have kept me feeling fresh back there for months now.&nbsp; I'll never go back to JUST paper again unless I'm forced to in a strange bathroom.</p>

[sr71blackbird]

<img src="http://img.timeinc.net/officepirates/files/images/blog/pudding3_470x353.jpg" border="0" width="470" height="353" />

[Marc with a c]

it was probably the fried mahi mahi.

[BrownTown]

<strong>Death Metal Moe</strong> wrote:<br /><p>unless I'm forced to in a strange bathroom.</p><p>&nbsp;That's what the Baby Wipes carrying cases are for. </p>

[Death Metal Moe]

<strong>BrownTown</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Death Metal Moe</strong> wrote:<br /><p>unless I'm forced to in a strange bathroom.</p><p>&nbsp;That's what the Baby Wipes carrying cases are for. </p><p>Well then, I'll be looking for one of those tomorrow.</p>

[sr71blackbird]

Whats a baby wipe carrying case and what do you use it for?&nbsp; Tell me!

[lleeder]

I had this like 3 months ago. Fever, shits , really bad stomach pains. It was on and off for like a month. I went to a lot of doctors and even got a cat-scan. Nothing. It will pass. No pun intended.

[BrownTown]

<p><img src="http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/netkidswear_1929_201822048" border="0" /></p><p>Love it! </p><p>&nbsp;</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by BrownTown on 1-14-07 @ 9:38 PM</span>

[sr71blackbird]

<p>Do you use the case to carry baby wipes or for some other nefarious purpose?&nbsp; I sometimes use baby wipes too for my ass, but mostly if I am home.&nbsp; At work I &quot;rough it&quot;, but I do keep a resealable bag of them in my desk &quot;just in case&quot;...<br />Just so you know, I used to use the baby wipes far more often than now, but I have found that the moisture and chemicals in the baby wipes does NOT help hemmoroids... You're better off keeping it as dry back there as possible if you have hemmoroids and if they are an issue for you...&nbsp; </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><span class="post_edited"></span></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by sr71blackbird on 1-14-07 @ 9:47 PM</span>

[BrownTown]

I use it to carry my Cottonelle Wipes with me. While I have the same resealable package at my desk, my job has me in the field quite often, so I have to be ready to &quot;go&quot; anywhere. If you want a real peak into my OCD world, I carry two of them in my tool bag. One for Cottonelle, one for Clorox Wipes, so I can clean toilet seats before I sit on them.

[Snacks]

<p>my brother and his family had the same thing.</p><p>First my sister in law, then the next day it started with my nephew, then the next day my niece. By the 3rd day my sister in law was feeling better then my brother got it.</p><p>Everyone of them went and had to get&nbsp;an IV. They were shiting, throwing up and dehydrated. After the IV they felt better, and like I said each one was sick for 3 maybe 4 days. So just hang in there, you should be ok in a day or 2.</p>

[mdr55]

<img src="http://www.e-cards.nu/e-cards/images/pooh.jpg" border="0" width="235" height="196" />

[angrymissy]

<p>We have tons of cottonelle wet wipes in the house and I also bought &quot;Tucks&quot; which apparently inflammed the asshole even more.</p><p>And, I've been telling him to go to the doctor since Friday.&nbsp; Last time I had stomach flu I felt better immediately after going to the ER and getting IV Fluids.&nbsp;</p>

[mdr55]

<p>If he had only listened to the misses, this would have never have happened.</p><p>Now he's just sitting on the can.</p><p><img src="http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/d/df/Wackybye01.jpg" border="0" width="320" height="240" />&nbsp;</p>

[PhishHead]

<strong>angrymissy</strong> wrote:<br /><p>We have tons of cottonelle wet wipes in the house and I also bought &quot;Tucks&quot; which apparently inflammed the asshole even more.</p><p>And, I've been telling him to go to the doctor since Friday. Last time I had stomach flu I felt better immediately after going to the ER and getting IV Fluids. </p><p>&nbsp;Okay i actually have a similar problem every single day of my life...i have a stomach disease and this happens on a consistent basis.</p><p>Tucks should help, but the problem with majority of tucks is that they have witch hazel in them, which means they clsoe the cuts and the rawness up but they will reopen again on the next shit and the next wipe with normal toilet paper.</p><p>Cottonelle with Aloe I have found to be the best ones they are very soothing and dont close up the wounds but will make them easier to deal with. &nbsp;</p><p>Cottonelle TP with Aloe is actually very helpful as well.</p><p>If you can drink pedialyte, gatorade or ensure. All of these things most likely will come out again right away but you will still be getting hydration from them for the time beginning.</p><p>Missy is right, Jeff you should go to the hospital and get IV fluids if you cant keep anything in for 3 days. &nbsp;</p>

[Team_Ramrod]

<p>You know those shit's that hurt so bad comming out but are great because you know that wiping will not be a major issue? Yeah, I have had one, maybe two in the last 3 years. All of my shits are of the 'ass shrapnel' variety. I feel for you Jeff, the only way I know I have sick style diahrrea is because my poo hole burns.</p><p>Burning shit is the Devil!</p>

[flavopop]

<p>Feel better Jeff, try and re-hydrate thats ultra important!</p><p>I know the feeling of shits like that, its like yur passing a pine comb or shitting poo water with shards of glass in it.&nbsp; BAD SCENE.</p><p>Good thing its not green poo.&nbsp; Did you know that if you drink grape soda and eat alot of bologna, you will poop a flurecent shade of GREEN!&nbsp; Just a little tidbit from my vast storehouse of useless knowledge.&nbsp; Feel better dude!</p>

[Clutch]

<strong>mdr55</strong> wrote:<br />What you eat???<br /> <p>&nbsp;</p><p>taco hell.. AFTER the latest scare .. feel better Jeff&nbsp;</p>

[shittyhambrgers]

drink gatorade for electrolytes.&nbsp; i woke up w/ that this morning -- burrito for dinner and a long night of drinking.&nbsp; you have it much worse, obviously.&nbsp; feel better, homie.

[SatCam]

<strong>shittyhambrgers</strong> wrote:<br>drink gatorade for electrolytes. i woke up w/ that this morning -- burrito for dinner and a long night of drinking. you have it much worse, obviously. feel better, homie.<p></p>

did your poo look like shittyhambrgers?

[Jughead]

I have learned more at Ron Fez.net ..........I guess thats why I tune in??And get on??

[RoseBlood]

Sorry to hear this Jeff, I have no expert opinion to offer except my condolences and as misery loves company my own little shit story to share.&nbsp; Nothing really fancy except I took to much dramamine and wound up shitting every 5-10 minutes all night. And it was pretty like the liquid tease shit you described. Luckily my episode didn't last as long.

[weekapaugjz]

<strong>BrownTown</strong> wrote:<br />I use it to carry my Cottonelle Wipes with me. While I have the same resealable package at my desk, my job has me in the field quite often, so I have to be ready to &quot;go&quot; anywhere. If you want a real peak into my OCD world, I carry two of them in my tool bag. One for Cottonelle, one for Clorox Wipes, so I can clean toilet seats before I sit on them. <p>&nbsp;wow, you really have this shitting in public thing figured out.<br /> </p>

[RoseBlood]

<strong>BrownTown</strong> wrote:<br />I use it to carry my Cottonelle Wipes with me. While I have the same resealable package at my desk, my job has me in the field quite often, so I have to be ready to &quot;go&quot; anywhere. If you want a real peak into my OCD world, I carry two of them in my tool bag. One for Cottonelle, one for Clorox Wipes, so I can clean toilet seats before I sit on them. <p>Do you carry around those little disposable toilet seat covers too? I use those alot but sometimes it's quicker just to hover.</p>

[FUNKMAN]

i had some loose stool for about a week so i decide i'm gonna get checked out. my doc sent me to the lab to give the old sample. wouldn't you figure that sample was the last loose stool i had. yeah started shitting bricks the very next day... woohoo

[TheVHD]

We have all been there... the thing that I have learned is that you don't wipe... regardless of what TP you use.&nbsp; Just pat... you just pat your bung-hole.&nbsp; No wiping... becuase if you keep wiping you will tear that shit up...

[undressa]

OK I swear come tuesday morning I am getting my eyes tested, I swore this thread said I can't stop shop lifting.&nbsp; Take it from some one in health care, there is a terible stomach flu going around and the only way to prevent it is washing your hands, not even those great ABC, &quot;purel and such&quot; trust me, drink lots of soup and such, not gatoraide, water with a pich of sat and suger is better then that but it to shall pass

[FUNKMAN]

<strong>TheVHD</strong> wrote:<br />We have all been there... the thing that I have learned is that you don't wipe... regardless of what TP you use.&nbsp; Just pat... you just pat your bung-hole.&nbsp; No wiping... becuase if you keep wiping you will tear that shit up... <p>so i guess i should stop using a brillo pad?</p>

[tele7]

<p>I too feel your pain Jeff.&nbsp; I went through the same thing while on business in California last year.&nbsp;I made it to every meeting that week, but&nbsp;I still don't know how I did it.&nbsp; It was 5 days of sweating, shivering and shitting my brains out.&nbsp; I really think it was food poisoning, but I'm not sure.</p><p>Fast forward....I get home and receive a $300 charge on my corporate Amex card for bed linens. Do the math.&nbsp; -(not looking for a mod quote)&nbsp; I have a new found respect for hotel maids.&nbsp; They eventually took the charges off my bill after I explained I had ordered the Clam Chowder (which I did) from room service. </p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[FUNKMAN]

<strong>telecaster7</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I too feel your pain Jeff.&nbsp; I went through the same thing while on business in California last year.&nbsp;I made it to every meeting that week, but&nbsp;I still don't know how I did it.&nbsp; It was 5 days of sweating, shivering and shitting my brains out.&nbsp; I really think it was food poisoning, but I'm not sure.</p><p>Fast forward....I get home and receive a $300 charge on my corporate Amex card for bed linens. Do the math.&nbsp; -(not looking for a mod quote)&nbsp; I have a new found respect for hotel maids.&nbsp; They eventually took the charges off my bill after<strong> I explained I had ordered the Clam Chowder (which I did) from room service.</strong> </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>i got sick from Clam Chowder i ordered up in Salem Mass. It was a day and a half of an intense stomach workout.&nbsp; but i was cool after that.&nbsp; i swear though my stomach muscle were so tight after that. </p><p>we should make a workout video called &quot;&nbsp;Day and a Half ABS &quot; first step is munch down some bad chowder...</p><p><img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" width="20" height="20" /></p>

[TheVHD]

<strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>TheVHD</strong> wrote:<br />We have all been there... the thing that I have learned is that you don't wipe... regardless of what TP you use.&nbsp; Just pat... you just pat your bung-hole.&nbsp; No wiping... becuase if you keep wiping you will tear that shit up... <p>so i guess i should stop using a brillo pad?</p>whatever is available... in these uncertain times&nbsp;you gotta&nbsp;go with what you know...&nbsp;Just pat... no wipe...

[tele7]

<strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>telecaster7</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I too feel your pain Jeff.&nbsp; I went through the same thing while on business in California last year.&nbsp;I made it to every meeting that week, but&nbsp;I still don't know how I did it.&nbsp; It was 5 days of sweating, shivering and shitting my brains out.&nbsp; I really think it was food poisoning, but I'm not sure.</p><p>Fast forward....I get home and receive a $300 charge on my corporate Amex card for bed linens. Do the math.&nbsp; -(not looking for a mod quote)&nbsp; I have a new found respect for hotel maids.&nbsp; They eventually took the charges off my bill after<strong> I explained I had ordered the Clam Chowder (which I did) from room service.</strong> </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>i got sick from Clam Chowder i ordered up in <strong>Salem Mass</strong>. It was a day and a half of an intense stomach workout.&nbsp; but i was cool after that.&nbsp; i swear though my <strong>stomach muscle</strong> <strong>were so tight after that.</strong> </p><p>we should make a workout video called &quot;&nbsp;Day and a Half ABS &quot; first step is munch down some bad chowder...</p><p><img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" width="20" height="20" /></p><p>You're on to something there Funk.&nbsp; My episode happened in San Francisco.&nbsp; Like Mass, it's a place you think it's safe to order seafood.&nbsp; </p><p>PS.&nbsp; My gut was about the same, but my asshole looked terrific!</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[CofyCrakCocaine]

<strong>FMJeff</strong> wrote:<br />btw im convinced immodium is fucking snake oil <p>&nbsp;Imodium doesn't help me at all. All it does is make me shit 10x more than I would if I didn't take any immodium. Maybe it has benefits that I've never noticed, but I've avoided the thing for years now.&nbsp;</p><p>The most immediate way for me to soothe a burning bum is to soak it in warm to hot bath water for five to ten minutes. It makes your ass feel better, I don't know if it neutralizes the acids that are lingering on your anus or what, but it doesn't hurt so much when I do that. Good luck. Just try not to think about Elvis too much... </p>

[Jujubees2]

<p><font size="2">FM Jeff,</font></p><p><font size="2">Take one of these and call me in the morning.&nbsp; Trust me, I was Pre-Med for a semester.</font></p><p><img src="http://www.viadon.com/images/corks.jpg" border="0" width="220" height="220" /></p>

[OGC]

<strong>FMJeff</strong> wrote:<br /><p>PLEASE G-D!</p><p>PLEASE. ENOUGH. YOU WIN. I FUCKING GIVE UP. I RENOUNCE MY JUDAISM. HITLER WAS RIGHT. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? </p><p>I have, for the last three days, endured a 102 degree fever and explosive diarrhea combined with unbearable stomach cramps and sweating. </p><p>My asshole is completely raw, stomach acid and bile have burned&nbsp;away healthy pink patina leaving this bright red ring of fire. </p><p>Wait, have to go right now and shit, brb.</p><p>Ok back. That wasn't even like a literary device or anything. It seems every 5 minutes I have to run to the toilet only to have my asshole spit turd lava. </p><p>I can't take it anymore, im going out of my mind. </p><p><font face="comic sans ms,sand" size="2">I think you might want to check out </font><a href="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/viewmessages.cfm/Forum/52/Topic/55292/page/I_really_hate__too_much_info__person.htm" target="_blank"><font face="comic sans ms,sand" size="2">this thread</font></a><font face="comic sans ms,sand" size="2">.</font></p>

[Zorro]

<p><strong>FMJeff</strong> wrote:<br />btw im convinced immodium is fucking snake oil </p><p><font size="2">The old standby Pepto-Bismol is the single best product ever invented</font></p>

[narc]

<strong>angrymissy</strong> wrote:<br /><p>We have tons of cottonelle wet wipes in the house and I also bought &quot;Tucks&quot; which apparently inflammed the asshole even more.</p><p>And, I've been telling him to go to the doctor since Friday. Last time I had stomach flu I felt better immediately after going to the ER and getting IV Fluids. </p><p>&nbsp;In sickness and in health....</p><p>And by the way, immodium is not snake oil. Last time I took it I didn't shit for more than a week. &nbsp;</p>

[A.J.]

<strong>angrymissy</strong> wrote:<br /><p>We have tons of cottonelle wet wipes in the house and I also bought &quot;Tucks&quot; which apparently inflammed the asshole even more. </p><p>At first read, I thought you were insulting Jeff there.</p>

[Jujubees2]

<strong>Zorro</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>FMJeff</strong> wrote:<br />btw im convinced immodium is fucking snake oil <p><font size="2">The old standby Pepto-Bismol is the single best product ever invented</font></p><p><font size="2">I too am partial to Pepto.&nbsp; The only thing is that it turns your tongue black.</font></p>

[GwEnYpOo]

<p>http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f163/gwenypoo/shit.jpg</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f163/gwenypoo/coke.jpg</p><p>&nbsp;FMJeff</p><p>http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f163/gwenypoo/sit.jpg</p>

[Kevin]

Wow even God does not like FM Jeff......

[GwEnYpOo]

stay hydrated . . . i hear breast milk works . . . .

[Bulldogcakes]

<strong>FMJeff</strong> wrote:<br />btw im convinced immodium is fucking snake oil Yeah, I swear the stuff off every time I use it. And then the next time I get gas and or the runs I read the label, the symptoms seem to match and I use it and it makes me worse every time. There's definitely some sort of stomach thing going around. I had it right after Christmas, and my parents both got it last week.&nbsp; Try Alka Seltzer for a day. That fixed me up within an hour of taking it on day 2 (I had already stopped the Immodium after day 1).&nbsp;<br /> If that doesn't work, pepto bismol. But I wouldn't use the immodium for more than a day if its not working. Read the label, it can actually make things worse if used incorrectly. <p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by Bulldogcakes on 1-15-07 @ 8:39 PM</span>

[BrownTown]

<strong>RoseBlood</strong> wrote:<br /><br /><p>Do you carry around those little disposable toilet seat covers too?</p><p>No way! I hate that&nbsp; &quot;paper sticking to the ass-cheek&quot; feeling. That's specifically why I got into wiping the seats down with clorox. You don't have to worry about covering up other peple's germs with paper (as if that really works) if you eliminate the germs. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>BONUS INFO - My other big move is to flush the toilet 5-6 times before I drop one in. That way it's water if anything that is splashing up, not someone else's ass soup.&nbsp; </p>

[Team_Ramrod]

<p>I think it's cause I read through this post earlier that I have the shits now.</p><p>I took my kids to their first ever swimming lessons tonight and spent 90% of the time on the toilet shitting out little deer turds in a beef broth. Now I've got cramps because I'm addited to rf.net and don't want to get up to take a shit....Even though I have a laptop.</p><p>Thanks Jeff.</p>

[lintpit]

<p><font size="4">Jeff.Don't O.D. on the immodium. You will have a whole new issue[i didn't shit for 6 days]</font></p><p><font size="4">To help with the raw ass have someone get some zinc oxide cream[diaper rash ]. will feel better 5-10min after application.</font></p><p><font size="4">you really need to have someone get you some pedialyte[replenishes lost electrolytes-common with diarrhea-] and force yourself to drink it.</font></p><p><font size="4">If you start dehydrating your urine will get darker and stronger smelling. time to see the dr.</font></p><p><font size="4">good luck</font></p>

[Team_Ramrod]

<strong>lintpit</strong> wrote:<br /><p><font size="4">Jeff.Don't O.D. on the immodium. You will have a whole new issue[i didn't shit for 6 days]</font></p><p><font size="4"><font style="background-color: #ffff00">To help with the raw ass have someone get some zinc oxide cream</font>[diaper rash ]. will feel better 5-10min after application.</font></p><p><font size="4">you really need to have someone get you some pedialyte[replenishes lost electrolytes-common with diarrhea-] and force yourself to drink it.</font></p><p><font size="4">If you start dehydrating your urine will get darker and stronger smelling. time to see the dr.</font></p><p><font size="4">good luck</font></p><p>Can that person put it on for me? I have burning ass at times and am not fond of fingering&nbsp; myself in that area.</p>

[SinA]

<p>&nbsp;</p><p>next to getting blown, cracking my back, and sleeping, shitting is my favorite thing to do.</p><p>my dream is to someday pull off the grand slam, all four at the same time.</p>

[lintpit]

<strong>Team_Ramrod</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>lintpit</strong> wrote:<br /><p><font size="4">Jeff.Don't O.D. on the immodium. You will have a whole new issue[i didn't shit for 6 days]</font></p><p><font size="4"><font style="background-color: #ffff00">To help with the raw ass have someone get some zinc oxide cream</font>[diaper rash ]. will feel better 5-10min after application.</font></p><p><font size="4">you really need to have someone get you some pedialyte[replenishes lost electrolytes-common with diarrhea-] and force yourself to drink it.</font></p><p><font size="4">If you start dehydrating your urine will get darker and stronger smelling. time to see the dr.</font></p><p><font size="4">good luck</font></p><p>Can that person put it on for me? I have burning ass at times and am not fond of fingering&nbsp; myself in that area.</p><p><font size="3">If you are lucky enough to have someone to do it .lucky you. And tell the truth, your finger never broke thru the paper??</font></p>

[Team_Ramrod]

<strong>SinA</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&nbsp;</p><p>next to getting blown, cracking my back, and sleeping, shitting is my favorite thing to do.</p><p><font style="background-color: #ffff00">my dream</font> is to someday pull off the grand slam, all four at the same time.</p><p>On such a momentous day, you sir are a visionary.</p><p><img src="http://ca.wrs.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je56P5YKxFX30ALzz2FAx./SIG=12m88e0vc/EXP=1169011321/**http%3A//www.iflipflop.com/uploaded_images/i-have-a-dream-753689.jpg" border="0" width="400" height="255" /></p>

[johnniewalker]

<strong>Team_Ramrod</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>SinA</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&nbsp;</p><p>next to getting blown, cracking my back, and sleeping, shitting is my favorite thing to do.</p><p><font style="background-color: #ffff00">my dream</font> is to someday pull off the grand slam, all four at the same time.</p><p>On such a momentous day, you sir are a visionary.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Wow its MLK day in Alberta as well?</p>

[patsopinion]

U ever use the clorox on ur ass on accidnet?<br /><strong>BrownTown</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>RoseBlood</strong> wrote:<br /><br /><p>Do you carry around those little disposable toilet seat covers too?</p><p>No way! I hate that &quot;paper sticking to the ass-cheek&quot; feeling. That's specifically why I got into wiping the seats down with clorox. You don't have to worry about covering up other peple's germs with paper (as if that really works) if you eliminate the germs. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>BONUS INFO - My other big move is to flush the toilet 5-6 times before I drop one in. That way it's water if anything that is splashing up, not someone else's ass soup. </p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[TheMojoPin]

<p>I have never laughed harder over anything ever posted on this board.&nbsp; Today is truly a great day.</p><p>And Jeff, I know your pain.&nbsp; I was on a cruise last week and on the last day my guts were&nbsp;Tokyo firebombed by the worst food poisoning known to man and beast alike.&nbsp; For the next 24 hours, I was the most hideous human fountain that not even the most scat-loving scataholic could have thought up in his most fevered of poop-smeared dreams.</p>

[Tall_James]

<strong>TheMojoPin</strong> wrote:<br /><p>And Jeff, I know your pain.&nbsp; I was on a cruise last week and on the last day my guts were&nbsp;Tokyo firebombed by the worst food poisoning known to man and beast alike.&nbsp; For the next 24 hours, I was the most hideous human fountain that not even the most scat-loving scataholic could have thought up in his most fevered of poop-smeared dreams.</p><p>That explains the German tourists following you around with video cameras.</p>

[ralphbxny]

<p>Nothin worse than the trots!!</p>

[Justice4all]

<strong>mdr55</strong> wrote:<br /><p><img src="http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/d/df/Wackybye01.jpg" border="0" width="320" height="240" />&nbsp;</p><p>&quot;If Woody would have gone straight to the police...(or in this case...the doctor)...this would NEVER have happened&quot;</p>