Should i move in with this hottie as her friend?

[cowbell_killer]

<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I am a 31 year old guy who moved to North Carolina about a year ago.&nbsp; I moved into a three bedroom house that is in a large and mostly empty development.&nbsp; Most of my time is sprnt at&nbsp; work.&nbsp; Right next to my office is a really nice deli.&nbsp; At the deli is a super hot chick who i was intreasted in.&nbsp; I am a self confident , smart, and funny guy.&nbsp; All that being said the girl is still&nbsp; outta my league.&nbsp; I managed to get a couple of dates with her....nothing ever happened.&nbsp; She is smart and sexy and has 18 month old kid.&nbsp; Well about a month ago she left the deli and i figured i'd never see her again.&nbsp; </p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Here is my problem,&nbsp; Yesterday she called me and asked if i would be intreasted in living with her.&nbsp; I feel pretty sure she just wants a cool guy who she trusts&nbsp; and not a bunk-mate.&nbsp; There are many positives and a few negatives in this setup.&nbsp; I may get access to her hot crew of friends.&nbsp; I also might have to try to sleep knowing she is getting banged in the next room.&nbsp; I was wondering if anyone out there has experience with living witha freind of the opposite sex and how it turned out.</p><p>&nbsp;I guess i think it could go like this:</p><p>1) i move in and we fall in love and get together (ok with me)</p><p>2) I move in and we dont get together but i get to meet all her friends&nbsp; (i have very few in my new town)</p><p>3) i move in cant take the kid and the girls and her friends are bitches so i move out.&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[burrben]

where's her baby's daddy?

[cowbell_killer]

<p>im not 100% sure...i feel like he is not in the picture from what i can tell....she has never mentioned him</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[cupcakelove]

This sounds weird to me.&nbsp; Would you be moving in with her because its a more ideal living situation for you, or because you think it might increase your chances with her?&nbsp; If its the second, then no, that has problems written all over it and you should really stay away from it.

[sailor]

<font size="2">over the years i've had 3 female roommates.&nbsp; other than excess hair in the shower, there were never any problems.&nbsp; one even started hooking up with a guy who lived near us and we'd not see her for weeks at a time.&nbsp; it was great!<br /></font>

[cowbell_killer]

It is a combo of really wanting to change my living situation and wanting to tap that sweet sweet ass.&nbsp; My place right now is in this huge almost empty development.&nbsp; I like on a street with 40 some houses and 14 or 15 families.&nbsp; maost of them are old people of middle aged married people with kids.&nbsp; There are no barsclubs or restraunts even close to walking distance.&nbsp; I really feel like moving in with her will put me back in touch with the human race and let me network amoung her hot friends and her cool guy friends.

[Doctor Z]

I give it a big fat ABSOLUTELY NOT.

[Furtherman]

<p>Don't do it.</p><p>Especially since she has a kid.&nbsp; You don't&nbsp;even know about the dad?&nbsp; You just want to &quot;tap&nbsp;it&quot;?&nbsp; Say you do.&nbsp; Then what?&nbsp;&nbsp;You two will fall in love?&nbsp; She would have kept wanting to date you if that was to be.&nbsp; &nbsp; </p>

[MrPink]

I would advise against it because of the kid. It'll be too awkward.

[stinkbud]

I say go for it. You will have to get over your attraction to her (the kid in the situation could help with that). Just keep telling yourself hot women tend to have hot friends.

[angelinad128]

If your really attracted to her but nothing at all has happened during the few times you went out, I wold say don't do it.&nbsp; You will be just a roommate and how would you feel when he &quot;boyfriends&quot; are over?

[SinA]

<p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;In my experience, being a roomate with a chick you're not already in love with is not a good idea, and even then it's risky.&nbsp; Girls and guys just can't get along.</p>

[RoseBlood]

<p>If she doesn't reciprocate your feelings it'll get awkward and next thing ya know she'll be locking herself in her bedroom while you're left to sticking post-it notes on her door as your only means of communication cause the tension in the room will be so thick!</p>

[reillyluck]

if she thinks youre cool enough to live with, youre probably cool enough to look after the kid while she's banging someone else.&nbsp; I say its a bad idea.&nbsp;

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by reillyluck on 2-6-07 @ 3:33 PM</span>

[PhishHead]

<strong>reillyluck</strong> wrote:<br />if she thinks youre cool enough to live with, youre probably cool enough to look after the kid while she's banging someone else. I say its a bad idea. <span class="post_edited">This message was edited by reillyluck on 2-6-07 @ 3:33 PM</span><p>&nbsp;i really love your ideas.&nbsp; </p>

[riverofpiss]

<p>Maybe you should give it a go.&nbsp; It could make your social life more interesting and you might meet one of her hot friends.&nbsp; It sounds like you have weighed the pros and cons.</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[lleeder]

<font size="3">I say don't do it. If you have any intrest in her it will only grow being so close to her. Then when shes getting gorilla banged by another guy you will be holding your pillow with one tear slowly dripping down your cheek. You''ll be left babysitting and settling for her fat friend.</font>

[Drunky McBetidont]

if you do it, walk around naked as often as possible.&nbsp; nobody sits in a barbershop too long without getting a haircut.

[cowbell_killer]

<p>thank you all for the advise. All the comments were things i had thought of both pro and con.&nbsp; I went today and sat down with her and had a really good talk.&nbsp; I mentioned that i would not be a babysitter under any circumstances.&nbsp; She assured me that i would never be put in that position.</p><p>As far as the sex angle goes...if i can be with her i would...from what know of her...It is also very likely that moving in would either strengthen or lessen my desire for her.&nbsp; This will almost have to be true.&nbsp; I just want to mention one portion of our conversation that really tilted me over the edge.</p><p>Remember ....she is hot...with hot friends.</p><p>Me: so do have lots of company over here</p><p>Her: well if i go out drinking with my friends alot of the times we end up back here at the end of the night.</p><p>me: ok...well....is friday good for me to move in(said the spider to the fly...and all the flies other drunk insect friends)</p>

[SinA]

<p>&nbsp;</p><p>with all due respect, how hot is this chick that we're talking about?&nbsp; and in case you&nbsp;do describe her beauty to us, remember that a picture is worth a thousand words.</p>

[high fly]

<p><font size="2">So what happened when you went out with her, you make a move and get shot down?</font></p><p><font size="2">No?</font></p><p><font size="2">That's because you are so intimidated by her hotness you look at what she is rather than who she is. Look at the first option you listed as being a possibility if you move in. You can't get a decent goodnight kiss, yet you're already fantasizing about falling in love.</font></p><p><font size="2">Now, since you've been out with her, got nowhere, how do you think she views you? A guy to bang and possibly fall in love with or one who is &quot;safe&quot; and will&nbsp;help defray the bills and whose advances can be easily fended off?</font></p><p><font size="2">I think that &quot;confidence&quot; could use a boost by going out more and being around women enough to where you can relax and not be so uptight. Go out with less attractive women until your game is running more smoothly and when the next hottie comes along, you'll ease right in without the stress you have now being around this one.</font></p><p><font size="2"></font></p><p><font size="2">And if her friends are that hot, you're going to strike out with them, too.</font></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by high fly on 2-6-07 @ 4:59 PM</span>

[Furtherman]

Nothing good will come of this.

[cowbell_killer]

<p>the first time we went out we had a good time.&nbsp; Laffs and Laffs.&nbsp; I didnt get the feeling she was into me in that way plus there was compatition everywhere.&nbsp; We went out, i didnt get it, i moved on.&nbsp; She called me a month after the fact to ask me to move in.&nbsp; What im sayin is if we move in and she starts to really dig me, which could happen, that would be great.&nbsp; If she stays a really funny smart hot chick who wants to be friends that would also be great.&nbsp; I am an experienced self confident guy.&nbsp; I just gotta say being older in a strange city living in a nearly deserted development miles from a bar or restraunt makes a guy lonley.&nbsp; Just having a cool person, male or female, would be nice. Plus dont forget her hot friends.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;to Sina she is cute hot... Black hair blue eyes...about 5'6 115 lbs....I dont have a pic of her and even if i did i have yet to be able to able to get a pic to post here...im not that computer savy..You'll just have to take my word for it.</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by cowbell_killer on 2-6-07 @ 5:08 PM</span>

[riverofpiss]

<strong>cowbell_killer</strong> wrote:<br /><p>the first time we went out we had a good time.&nbsp; Laffs and Laffs.&nbsp; I didnt get the feeling she was into me in that way plus there was compatition everywhere.&nbsp; We went out, i didnt get it, i moved on.&nbsp; She called me a month after the fact to ask me to move in.&nbsp; What im sayin is if we move in and she starts to really dig me, which could happen, that would be great.&nbsp; If she stays a really funny smart hot chick who wants to be friends that would also be great.&nbsp; I am an experienced self confident guy.&nbsp; I just gotta say being older in a strange city living in a nearly deserted development miles from a bar or restraunt makes a guy lonley.&nbsp; Just having a cool person, male or female, would be nice. Plus dont forget her hot friends.</p><p>Go for it buddy.&nbsp; No guts, no glory.</p>

[Furtherman]

When your looking for a new place because she didn't fall for you and you have to listen to her have sex with another man and you didn't hit it off with any of her friends or you hooked up with one after too many drinks then didn't call her so now your roommate hates you because you hurt her friend I hope you can afford a nice place.&nbsp; Good luck!

[cowbell_killer]

<strong>Furtherman</strong> wrote:<br />When your looking for a new place because she didn't fall for you and you have to listen to her have sex with another man and you didn't hit it off with any of her friends or you hooked up with one after too many drinks then didn't call her so now your roommate hates you because you hurt her friend I hope you can afford a nice place.&nbsp; Good luck! <p>i do have to say that this was brought up as the worst case senerio.&nbsp;What i came up with was&nbsp;i had written her&nbsp;off&nbsp;after our date didnt work&nbsp;out.&nbsp; If it ends badly what did i really lose except someone i never had in the first place.&nbsp; Plus im not signing a lease with her&nbsp;and i can afford a place if i need one in a hurry.&nbsp;</p>

[Yerdaddy]

Pee in her butt. Then you won't have to worry if the lid's up or down.

[MadMatt]

<strong>reillyluck</strong> wrote:<br />if she thinks youre cool enough to live with, youre probably cool enough to look after the kid while she's banging someone else.&nbsp; I say its a bad idea.&nbsp; <p>Yet another reason why I dearly love Reilly... <img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/happy.gif" border="0" width="20" height="20" /></p><p>I also vote bad idea, but not because of the platonic relationship thing.&nbsp; Men and women can live together as friends with very littel difficulty IMO &amp; experience.&nbsp; </p><p>However, living with an <strong>infant</strong> is HARD WORK.&nbsp; My daughter is nearly 2 and she takes a ton of attention.&nbsp; Even though she is a well behaved child she is curious and gets into everything.&nbsp; Also, kids are prone to fits of crying, need diapers changed, have to have a clean living environment, and are not always conducive to a solid night's sleep. </p><p>You are right - this hot chick probably trusts you, thinks you are cool, and would make a good roomate.&nbsp; However, she may also see you as a good surrogate Dad for her infant.&nbsp; That is a huge responsibility to have as a &quot;roomate.&quot;&nbsp; Unless you are completely OK with becoming a defacto father for this child, I would stay away from the situation.</p>

[high fly]

<strong>cowbell_killer</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&nbsp;What im sayin is if we move in and she starts to really dig me, which could happen, that would be great.&nbsp; </p><p><font size="2">You're still in dreamland.</font></p><p><font size="2">It ain't happening. You're &quot;safe,&quot; like a gay friend, and youre in for a lot of heartache watching her get banged by guys not as nice as you.</font></p><p><font size="2">She didn't ask you to move in for romantic reasons. She asked for financial ones. She went out with you and that's what she sees you for ----&nbsp;someone wo can be easily fended off while at the same time defraying costs of the apt.</font></p><p><font size="2">The rest was just her being polite in order to let you down easy.</font></p><p><font size="2">If you think you can get it, then ask her out and get it. What's so hard about that?</font></p>

[Gvac]

<p>Hmmm.&nbsp; Live with a chick you're not having sex with?</p><p>I can honestly say this idea has never occured to me. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>

[Don Stugots]

<p>i agree with reilly and Gvac.&nbsp; dont do it, but i cant say for sure without pics. </p>

[cowbell_killer]

<strong>high fly</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>cowbell_killer</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&nbsp;What im sayin is if we move in and she starts to really dig me, which could happen, that would be great.&nbsp; </p><p><font size="2">You're still in dreamland.</font></p><p><font size="2">It ain't happening. You're &quot;safe,&quot; like a gay friend, and youre in for a lot of heartache watching her get banged by guys not as nice as you.</font></p><p><font size="2">She didn't ask you to move in for romantic reasons. She asked for financial ones. She went out with you and that's what she sees you for ----&nbsp;someone wo can be easily fended off while at the same time defraying costs of the apt.</font></p><p><font size="2">The rest was just her being polite in order to let you down easy.</font></p><p><font size="2">If you think you can get it, then ask her out and get it. What's so hard about that?</font></p><p>this is gonna be my last post on the subject because i have made up my mind and am gonna move in this weekend.&nbsp; I really really want to thank you all for your feedback.&nbsp; Most of the suggestions and concerns were talked back and forth among my friends.&nbsp; The thing with that is they do know me very well and agree with me that it has no real downsides.&nbsp; One thing that you are are doing is drastically overestimating my &quot;niceness&quot;.&nbsp; I have no prob standing up for myself.&nbsp; I understand that NO SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP is the most likely outcome between her and me.&nbsp; I would also expect that being a young hot girl she will be able to date guys.&nbsp; My point is that i will also be able to date other girls.&nbsp; In talking to her today about her kid she is not looking for a live in babysitter, or father figure. She has a older brother and her mother and father often look after the kid if hotmom is busy work or play. </p><p>Once again..Thank you and i'll give you all an update in a month or two <img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/bye.gif" border="0" width="26" height="18" /></p>

[DJEvelEd]

<p>Please explain how this chick is out of your league. </p><p>Does she have a mansion and a string of poloponies? </p><p>She worked in a deli and has a babydaddy! She probably likes you but wants to figure you out first because her kid is #1 right now so she doesn't want to make any more bad life-choices. </p>

[andywhat?]

<p>well if she is getting fucked in the next room and you don't like it. just have the few friends you do have over and strippers too.</p><p>&nbsp;another thing you need to think about is where the daddy at?</p>

[Carla7338]

I think you will be just fine! Your a smart person with a good head on your shoulders. Im sure this move will make you happier then you have been in a long time..one way or another <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/drunk.gif" border="0" />

[Midkiff]

Dude, she got fired... she is broke... she wants you to move in to share the rent money. Even if you never bang her, that's still prostitution.

[Midkiff]

Why do people ask advice when they have already made up their minds and wouldn't have budged anyway?

[samnyc]

<p>Well if she can't get you free roast beef I'd say do it.</p><p>&nbsp;And if she's getting f'ed in the next room listen with a glass cup to your ear and run a batch.</p>

[DJEvelEd]

If she has a kid, there's a good chance she has roast beef.

[DJEvelEd]

If she has a kid, there's a good chance she has roast beef.

[JamMaster]

<p>This is a tough one.&nbsp; If you end up with the chick, then it could be great.&nbsp; But there are a few drawbacks which I have first hand knowledge.&nbsp; </p><p>I lived with my ex-girlfriend and her daughter (not my child).&nbsp; She was in a tough spot and had no one else to turn to.&nbsp; She moved in with me and lived here for a year and a half.&nbsp; It was a great year and a half though....but I digress.</p><p>1.&nbsp; If you have feelings for her and she starts banging other dudes, its gonna hurt.</p><p>2.&nbsp; Having a child in the apt might cramp having people over late at night, having other women stay over etc.</p><p>3.&nbsp; This will come up.....babysitting.&nbsp; This will be asked of you.&nbsp; I would almost guarantee it.</p><p>4.&nbsp; I got emotionally attached to the child.&nbsp; It's not a bad thing, but&nbsp;it's something to think about.</p><p>If these things don't bother you, then it could be a good thing.&nbsp; Just this man's experience.</p><p>Good luck</p>

[Reephdweller]

<p>Can you pretend to move in with her for a week or so to see if you get any? If so, bang her - then yell at the kid for no reason, she'll think you're a jerk - kick you out - you go home...to your REAL home, with the smell of hottie snatch on your cock. Score!</p><p><img src="http://www.worth1000.com/entries/187000/187088GLnk_w.jpg" border="0" width="500" height="349" />&nbsp;</p><p>This silver lining has been brought to you by, The Ad Council.&nbsp; <img src="http://www.hartwilliams.com/images/adcouncil.jpg" border="0" width="59" height="59" /></p>

[sr71blackbird]

<p>I'd rather be alone than live with a girl I want, but cant have.&nbsp; Steer clear. This sounds like heart ache waiting to happen.&nbsp; There are reason why a girl is hot, has a kid and has no place to live.</p><p>One more thing:&nbsp; You said she asked if you want to live with HER.&nbsp; Wouldnt she be living with you if you have this house?</p>

[SatCam]

<strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br><p>Hmmm. Live with a chick you're not having sex with?</p><p>I can honestly say this idea has never occured to me. </p><p></p>

isnt that called a wife?