Relationship hell.

[360legend]

Right. Well, I just found out from a very reliable source that my girlfriend of four years cheated on me. As she's begging me to forgive her and take her back, I'm really not so sure. My Italian nature just wants her to go away for a long-ass time. So right now I pretty much don't care what happens next. She betrayed me, and as far as that goes, she's dead to me.<br /><br />Any advice? Do I keep ignoring her, hoping she'll go the hell away, or do I cave in and forgive the girl? The thing is, I've been dating her since I was fifteen. (I know, I know. Go ahead with the jokes about my age.) I really loved her, and the cynical side of me isn't very surprised that she did this to me. I'd really appreciate your help, guys. Right now, I'm completely lost.

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by 360legend on 2-11-07 @ 1:15 AM</span>

[RoseBlood]

Judging from your post you don't sound like you miss her all that much so I'd say take a step back at least for now. You're young, hopefully both you will just walk away a little wiser.

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by RoseBlood on 2-11-07 @ 2:02 AM</span>

[weekapaugjz]

ive always held the opinion, that if they've cheated once, whats stopping them from doing it again?&nbsp; there is a huge trust factor to get over in that type of situation.&nbsp; i don't think i would be able to ever get over it.&nbsp; but i have never been i a situation like this.&nbsp; i have been madly in love with a girl before and would analyze different situations (possibly psyhcotically) such as this, and couldn't figure out if i would have taken her back or not.&nbsp; it's a tough decision.&nbsp; its a question of if you are going to be able to trust her again.&nbsp; if not, i say cut the ties.

[TheGameHHH]

<strong>weekapaugjz</strong> wrote:<br />ive always held the opinion, that if they've cheated once, whats stopping them from doing it again? there is a huge trust factor to get over in that type of situation. i don't think i would be able to ever get over it. but i have never been i a situation like this. i have been madly in love with a girl before and would analyze different situations (possibly psyhcotically) such as this, and couldn't figure out if i would have taken her back or not. it's a tough decision. its a question of if you are going to be able to trust her again. if not, i say cut the ties.<p>&nbsp;exactly, in most cases its once a cheater always a cheater......that goes for both sexes. its just not healthy for you to continue in this relationship. </p>

[Gwen]

<strong>TheGameHHH</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>weekapaugjz</strong> wrote:<br />ive always held the opinion, that if they've cheated once, whats stopping them from doing it again? there is a huge trust factor to get over in that type of situation. i don't think i would be able to ever get over it. but i have never been i a situation like this. i have been madly in love with a girl before and would analyze different situations (possibly psyhcotically) such as this, and couldn't figure out if i would have taken her back or not. it's a tough decision. its a question of if you are going to be able to trust her again. if not, i say cut the ties.<p> exactly, in most cases its once a cheater always a cheater......that goes for both sexes. its just not healthy for you to continue in this relationship. </p><p>Game's right.&nbsp; Once a cheater always a cheater.&nbsp; Also, after someone cheats in a relationship there will always be underlying trust issues and in my opinion the relationship will never be right and you'll just be stuck constantly fighting with each other. &nbsp; </p>

[sailor]

<font size="2">no jokes about your age, but there's no need to get so worked up so young.&nbsp; move on. </font>

[lleeder]

<font size="3">I say take her back then mentally abuse her til she leaves. That way you get a small measure of revenge. </font>

[Bossanova]

<p>Coming from a gut who went through the same thing, I say leave.&nbsp; I had the same questions and inthe end, I took her back.&nbsp; The relationship lasted only 3 months after that.&nbsp; I couldn't get passed it and never really trusted her again.&nbsp; I thought I loved her so I went back, but honestly I didn't even want to sleep with her.&nbsp; You bring more stress into your relationship after the fact that you know she cheated.&nbsp; Its not worth it.&nbsp; </p><p>Side note:&nbsp; I found my current chick like 6 months later and we are going on 4 years strong.&nbsp; There ar plenty of great people out there.</p>

[Gvac]

<p>You've got no business dating someone exclusively when you're a teenager.&nbsp; I know that sounds harsh and that you're positive your &quot;love&quot; was something completely different than any other, but it's simply not true.&nbsp; </p><p>See other people and enjoy yourselves.&nbsp; There's millions of women in this wonderful world, and each one is different.&nbsp; How are you supposed to know which one is right for you if you've limited yourself from such an early age? &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>

[360legend]

Thanks for the help, guys. I'm not going to take her back. Too many girls I've known since highschool have now decided they want me. The kicker is that I had no idea they liked me till my ex cheated on me. <br /><br />Anyway. Thanks again, guys.

[K.C.]

<strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br /><p>You've got no business dating someone exclusively when you're a teenager.&nbsp; I know that sounds harsh and that you're positive your &quot;love&quot; was something completely different than any other, but it's simply not true.&nbsp; </p><p>See other people and enjoy yourselves.&nbsp; There's millions of women in this wonderful world, and each one is different.&nbsp; How are you supposed to know which one is right for you if you've limited yourself from such an early age? &nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p>Quoted for truth. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I don't mean to boil the whole situation down to age, because there's obviously exceptions to the rule, but my response to the problem is really predicated on it. </p><p>If you were in your late 20s or early 30s, 360, and you were faced with this problem, then I think it'd be a question of whether you love her enough to forgive her. </p><p>But in your late teens, it's better to go out and experience things...I'm a few years older than you and I've seen waaaaaaaaaaay too many guys fall into this trap of thinking they're in love coming out of high school and then it eventually goes bad (and it almost always does) and all of a sudden they're completely lost. </p><p><span class="post_edited"></span></p><p><span class="post_edited"></span></p><p><span class="post_edited"></span></p><p><span class="post_edited"></span></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by K.C. on 2-11-07 @ 12:22 PM</span>

[Jujubees2]

<p><font size="2">Here's an interesting survey on cheating that everyone here should fill out.&nbsp; It will be interesting to see the results.</font></p><p><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16894488/"><font size="2">http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16894488/</font></a></p>

[Friday]

<p>I agree with Gvac big time.&nbsp; I recently started dating a guy who had been with his ex since he was 18 ... for 7 years.&nbsp; She cheated on him and left him and now he is pretty much a mess.&nbsp; A great guy, fantastic... but he has very little dating experience.&nbsp; And honestly, it is some of this experiences that helps us to know what we want and dont want in a partner.&nbsp; And helps us to know ourselves a little better.</p><p>So don't sell yourself short... date people and enjoy it.&nbsp; You have SO much time!<br /> </p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[Coach]

<strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br /><p>You've got no business dating someone exclusively when you're a teenager.&nbsp; I know that sounds harsh and that you're positive your &quot;love&quot; was something completely different than any other, but it's simply not true.&nbsp; </p><p>See other people and enjoy yourselves.&nbsp; There's millions of women in this wonderful world, and each one is different.&nbsp; How are you supposed to know which one is right for you if you've limited yourself from such an early age? &nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p>Agreed!</p><p>On to skinnier and hotter!</p>

[Justice4all]

<strong>Coach</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br /><p>You've got no business dating someone exclusively when you're a teenager.&nbsp; I know that sounds harsh and that you're positive your &quot;love&quot; was something completely different than any other, but it's simply not true.&nbsp; </p><p>See other people and enjoy yourselves.&nbsp; There's millions of women in this wonderful world, and each one is different.&nbsp; How are you supposed to know which one is right for you if you've limited yourself from such an early age? &nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p>Agreed!</p><p>On to skinnier and hotter!</p><p>Looks like we have a winner.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Go out and have fun. Date to your hearts content. If she keeps calling, Hang up on her. Do not let her weasel her way back into your life. If you want to be&nbsp;harsh, tell her to fuck off. If you want to be nice, just ignore her and she will get the hint.</p><p>&nbsp;Show her you have gotten past her and what she did and it is time for BOTH of you to move on.</p><p>Yes it was 4 years but now it is time for you to shine on greener pastures. Not as easier done then said but it can be done.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>good luck!</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[angelinad128]

<p>Go with your heart. Your young and there are others who like you. Go for it!&nbsp; Whow knows, maybe in a few years after you got to know others, you may want to try her again.&nbsp; </p><p>For now, have fun.</p>

[ralphbxny]

<p>F the Biatch. nuff said!!</p><p>Gvac and Friday Said what I was going to.</p><p>Whoo hooo I got ripped off!</p>

[briarhawk]

<p>My personal take on break ups, is you are wasting your time going back, if the situation that broke you up is still around to hassle your second try.</p>

[Midkiff]

what's her number?

[foodcourtdruide]

<p>I think that you went through a learning lesson that all of us go through. It's very difficult to understand what trust is and what it means when you're 19. I'm 26 and I'm still learning. </p><p>She betrayed you. You have to accept that for what it is and move on. If you don't care if someone cheats, then take her back, but if it bothers you then don't take her back. These are the decisions you're going to constantly have to make. There's no manual for it, you have to live your life according to what is best for you.</p>

[blakjeezis]

<p>Bang her sister, or her brother for that matter, and take pictures. Say nothing to no one and stay with her. Next Thanksgiving tell everyone you have a 'Surprise Announcement' at the dinner table. Take out the pics, throw 'em down in front of Grandma, say nothing and walk out the door.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Such an egregious betrayal of trust deserves no mercy. &nbsp;</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by blakjeezis on 2-15-07 @ 12:11 PM</span>

[dolemyte]

<p>IMO...</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Time to move on..let her know in no uncertain terms that its dead... then move on to finding the next chick&nbsp;</p>

[Bulldogcakes]

<p>There was a reason she cheated, either she's not happy in the relationship or she's just young and wants to sow some oats. Either way, what GVAC said.</p><p>BTW-The best revenge is to be happy with someone else. That will destroy her. &nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by Bulldogcakes on 2-15-07 @ 5:52 PM</span>

[Justice4all]

<strong>blakjeezis</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Bang her sister, or her brother for that matter, and take pictures. Say nothing to no one and stay with her. Next Thanksgiving tell everyone you have a 'Surprise Announcement' at the dinner table. Take out the pics, throw 'em down in front of Grandma, say nothing and walk out the door.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Such an egregious betrayal of trust deserves no mercy. &nbsp;</p><span class="post_edited">This message was edited by blakjeezis on 2-15-07 @ 12:11 PM</span> <p>BJ...when I go after someone I am calling YOU up for advice. </p>

[Don Stugots]

been there done that.&nbsp; walk away and live free.

[MONICA5579]

I have been the cheater, but NEVER had the balls to ask for the guy back.&nbsp; I say if she cheats...&nbsp; forget it.&nbsp; You will always be wondering who she may be banging when your not around.&nbsp; It's too much of a trust issue and you will always be suspicious and accousing.&nbsp; Taking her back will not only hurt her later when your having a fight, but hurt you more because you'll feel like a fool for taking her back.&nbsp; No matter how long the relationship has gone on it isn't worth it.&nbsp; This is just the opinion of a girl that did this to her boyfriend, of 5 years.