How Many Wipes To Get That Ass Clean?

[Rockvillejoe]

<p>For you nubile twentysomethings, this probably doesn't mean a thing. But lately, i need at least 10 rips of the TP off the roller, and 3 moist diaper wipes before i am totally refreshed, and ready take on the day!&nbsp;&nbsp; (<em>here we go</em>) any ideas on how to cut down on the wipes? if i see at least one speck of brown, i must continue. have the same problem? if so, what do you suggest? </p>

[sailor]

<font size="2">i suggest less negativity from joerockhead!&nbsp; :)<br /></font>

[Fallon]

http://img.shopping.com/images1/di/59/4c/58/4a/75/414333514a6b546c394145484d5f567341-100x100.jpg

[cupcakelove]

<strong>Rockvillejoe</strong> wrote:<br /><p>For you nubile twentysomethings, this probably doesn't mean a thing. But lately, i need at least 10 rips of the TP off the roller, and 3 moist diaper wipes before i am totally refreshed, and ready take on the day! (<em>here we go</em>) any ideas on how to cut down on the wipes? if i see at least one speck of brown, i must continue. have the same problem? if so, <strong>what do you suggest</strong>? </p><p>&nbsp;More fiber.</p>

[ralphbxny]

As many as it takes!!!!

[Judge Smails]

<p>Depends on the consistency.&nbsp; I like to mix it up from day to day.</p><p><img src="http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/c/ca/300px-Bristol_Stool_Chart.png" border="0" width="300" height="391" /></p>

[KC2OSO]

<p>I'm REALLY into having a clean bum and have embaced these with all my heart:</p><p><img src="http://www.bettymills.com/store/images/product/PHOS3315.JPG" border="0" width="238" height="194" />&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[Rockvillejoe]

<strong>Judge Smails</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Depends on the consistency.&nbsp; I like to mix it up from day to day.</p><p><img src="http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/c/ca/300px-Bristol_Stool_Chart.png" border="0" width="300" height="391" /></p><p>i actually have this poster shrunk down, credit card sized, and wear it on my wrist like an nfl quarterback with his plays on his wrist. truly a great reference sheet for those of us who really give a shit. that type 7 is always something. </p>

[angrymissy]

<p>oh, oh!&nbsp; I'm a type 3!</p><p>You need to do - 1 wipe wet, 1 dry, 1 wet, 1 dry to finish off.&nbsp; Alternating is key.</p>

[Rockvillejoe]

<strong>angrymissy</strong> wrote:<br /><p>oh, oh!&nbsp; I'm a type 3!</p><p>You need to do - 1 wipe wet, 1 dry, 1 wet, 1 dry to finish off.&nbsp; Alternating is key.</p><p>word up. i'll switch hands so as not to confuse myself. alternation for sanitation. </p>

[ralphbxny]

Wait I am supposed to use paper when I wipe....now I feel silly.

[TheMojoPin]

<strong>angrymissy</strong> wrote:<br /><p>oh, oh!&nbsp; I'm a type 3!</p><p>You need to do - 1 wipe wet, 1 dry, 1 wet, 1 dry to finish off.&nbsp; Alternating is key.</p><p>1st wipe wet?&nbsp; That's just begging for disaster.</p><p>I suggest 2-3 dry wipes (vary depending on intensity of the movement), 1 wet wipe and then 1 of the pre-moistened deals.&nbsp; I also try and time my business before I take a shower, too.</p>

[cougarjake13]

<p>you could always invest in a bidet</p><p>or</p><p>just jump in the shower and clean up </p>

[Fez4PrezN2008]

GOD !!!!!!!!! I wish I had a time machine to go back in time to the moment right before I clicked on this fucking thread.

[cougarjake13]

<strong>Fez4PrezN2008</strong> wrote:<br />GOD !!!!!!!!! I wish I had a time machine to go back in time to the moment right before I clicked on this fucking thread. <p>you could always drink or smoke enough to forget you were ever here </p>

[Fez4PrezN2008]

Trust me, I am working on it...

[Don Stugots]

2 wipes, 1 baby wipe (sometimes two) then one more with T.P.&nbsp; if i still feel swampy, i hop in the shower.&nbsp;

[weekapaugjz]

<strong>TheMojoPin</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>angrymissy</strong> wrote:<br /><p>oh, oh! I'm a type 3!</p><p>You need to do - 1 wipe wet, 1 dry, 1 wet, 1 dry to finish off. Alternating is key.</p><p>1st wipe wet? That's just begging for disaster.</p><p>I suggest 2-3 dry wipes (vary depending on intensity of the movement), 1 wet wipe and then 1 of the pre-moistened deals. <span style="background-color: #ffff00">I also try and time my business before I take a shower, too</span>.</p><p>&nbsp;best advice ever</p>

[Yuppie_Scum]

<font size="2">You guys seriously using wet wipes? I had a friend in college who swore by Metamucil -- makes you so smooth you dont even have to wipe.</font>

[reillyluck]

<p>im curious to see yerdaddy's opinion on this. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[Planty]

<font face="terminal,monaco" size="2" color="#00ff00">Planty's confused I have no ass. Just lots of dirt and spots of grass.</font>

[Landblast]

how many wipes?,..too many. whatever you gotta do to keep the starfish clean.

[TheGameHHH]

wait........you dont know how to use the 3 seashells?

[Stankfoot]

<p>&nbsp;</p><p><font size="2">I use a pinecone followed with a few damp leaves. Then I scratch at the ground like a chicken.&nbsp;</font></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[TheMojoPin]

<strong>reillyluck</strong> wrote:<br /><p>im curious to see yerdaddy's opinion on this. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>As someone who has known the joys of the squatty potty, it's pleasantly surprising how little wiping is required once you've mastered the art of the semi-standing poo.</p>

[A.J.]

<strong>weekapaugjz</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>TheMojoPin</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>angrymissy</strong> wrote:<br /><p>oh, oh! I'm a type 3!</p><p>You need to do - 1 wipe wet, 1 dry, 1 wet, 1 dry to finish off. Alternating is key.</p><p>1st wipe wet? That's just begging for disaster.</p><p>I suggest 2-3 dry wipes (vary depending on intensity of the movement), 1 wet wipe and then 1 of the pre-moistened deals. <span style="background-color: #ffff00">I also try and time my business before I take a shower, too</span>.</p><p>&nbsp;best advice ever</p><p>Agreed.&nbsp; Nothing beats high-pressure steam-cleaning.</p>

[A.J.]

<strong>TheMojoPin</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>reillyluck</strong> wrote:<br /><p>im curious to see yerdaddy's opinion on this. </p><p>As someone who has known the joys of the squatty potty, it's pleasantly surprising how little wiping is required once you've mastered the art of the semi-standing poo. </p><p>I was tempted to try the squatter in the Tokyo airport but then I remembered why I didn't try them in Saudi Arabia -- my fear of crapping into my dropped pants.</p>

[TheMojoPin]

<strong>A.J.</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>TheMojoPin</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>reillyluck</strong> wrote:<br /><p>im curious to see yerdaddy's opinion on this. </p><p>As someone who has known the joys of the squatty potty, it's pleasantly surprising how little wiping is required once you've mastered the art of the semi-standing poo. </p><p>I was tempted to try the squatter in the Tokyo airport but then I remembered why I didn't try them in Saudi Arabia -- my fear of crapping into my dropped pants.</p><p>Hell, if you could lock the door, just off with the whole shebang...shoes, socks and everything up to the waist.</p><p>It's oddly liberating.&nbsp; Like a reverse George Costanza.</p>