eggers
11-18-2001, 05:11 PM
here is a rough draft of the beginning part of the novel that i have been working on for the past few months or so... opinions welcomed!
----------------------------Oh, hi, I didn't know you were there. And sorry for my appearance; I had a terrible night.
In case he didn't tell you, my name is Jimmy. My parents named me Jimmy a while ago; around the time I was born. I don't really remember much about my birth. Otherwise, my memory is stellar and top-notch. I'm not sure whether or not I do in fact have photographic memory, but many people tell me that I do.
I'm a twenty-two year old college graduate living in New York. I live with my parents. Sometime in the future, I plan on living on my own. My other plans for the future include deciphering the meaning of life and acquiring a farm-like plot of land in Suffolk County (I'm thinking Greenport). There, I will live with my wife and kids (oh, I have yet to meet my wife, but I know that she's out there, and I have yet to have sex with my wife). It would also be good if I met someone famous as that would be really cool, and I would be able to tell others about whom I met and that would be cool as yell.
I hope that I'm not boring you because I know that you have come a long way to see me and I will try not to bore you from now on. As I'm sure he told you, you are here because I need your help. I have done something bad and I need your help. I cannot tell you much about the bad thing that I've done; it's just a thing and let's leave it at that. Without your imminent help, it is for sure that I will be bound up and made a spectacle out of. These are two things that I do not wish to happen - I do not want to be bound up and I do not want to be made a spectacle out of. That's why you are here - to help me.
I will be expecting your report on that desk in the morning. Figure that I'll be able to get here at seven. If you are hungry, help yourself. God's speed and good luck!
First of all, I do wish to express my pleasure in meeting you as I have heard so much about you. Much of what I've heard involves your renowned sexual prowess. And I do got to wonder and subsequently ask you if those stories are true. But I'm not ; I'm not going to do that! I have a job to do here and that's what I'm going to do!
I'm not sure what he has told you about me, but let me tell you a little bit about myself. My name is William. I am a semi-famous writer slash activist. My work has appeared in such real publications as The New Yorker and The Chicago Sun-Times. For the past year, I've been engaged as an independent consultant to various people. I charge exuberant fees and I am highly in demand. My consulting expertise is vast and I don't really want to talk or otherwise cite my consulting experience as it speaks for itself.
It's true that I'm a Harvard MBA. Many people, including people who know me tell me that I'm not a Harvard MBA, but it's true. I went to Harvard in the mid '70s and I'm a Harvard MBA. At Harvard, I learned a lot of useful and important things that I can tell you sometime. Surely, I will use a lot of the things that I've learned in the report that I will write about you and your delicate situation.
For now, I will eat and drink because that's what I do. I'm a real person and I love being real!
This is not what I expected. No, no, no this is not what I expected. You were supposed to help me out. This is not help, no! Nothing in here is good. I cannot take anything good out of this. What were you thinking? And why did you write what you wrote?
Maybe you got things mixed up - maybe that's it! I am not the bad person in this scenario. I am the victim. You should have written this with the assumption that I am the victim and that she is the villain! In fact, you did the opposite. You were entirely and completely wrong!
Let me begin once more. My name is Jimmy. I live with my parents, I like coffee and baseball, I masturbate on occasion, and I go online a lot. Online, what I do, and pay attention now because this is truly and really important, I strike up conversations with fem
----------------------------Oh, hi, I didn't know you were there. And sorry for my appearance; I had a terrible night.
In case he didn't tell you, my name is Jimmy. My parents named me Jimmy a while ago; around the time I was born. I don't really remember much about my birth. Otherwise, my memory is stellar and top-notch. I'm not sure whether or not I do in fact have photographic memory, but many people tell me that I do.
I'm a twenty-two year old college graduate living in New York. I live with my parents. Sometime in the future, I plan on living on my own. My other plans for the future include deciphering the meaning of life and acquiring a farm-like plot of land in Suffolk County (I'm thinking Greenport). There, I will live with my wife and kids (oh, I have yet to meet my wife, but I know that she's out there, and I have yet to have sex with my wife). It would also be good if I met someone famous as that would be really cool, and I would be able to tell others about whom I met and that would be cool as yell.
I hope that I'm not boring you because I know that you have come a long way to see me and I will try not to bore you from now on. As I'm sure he told you, you are here because I need your help. I have done something bad and I need your help. I cannot tell you much about the bad thing that I've done; it's just a thing and let's leave it at that. Without your imminent help, it is for sure that I will be bound up and made a spectacle out of. These are two things that I do not wish to happen - I do not want to be bound up and I do not want to be made a spectacle out of. That's why you are here - to help me.
I will be expecting your report on that desk in the morning. Figure that I'll be able to get here at seven. If you are hungry, help yourself. God's speed and good luck!
First of all, I do wish to express my pleasure in meeting you as I have heard so much about you. Much of what I've heard involves your renowned sexual prowess. And I do got to wonder and subsequently ask you if those stories are true. But I'm not ; I'm not going to do that! I have a job to do here and that's what I'm going to do!
I'm not sure what he has told you about me, but let me tell you a little bit about myself. My name is William. I am a semi-famous writer slash activist. My work has appeared in such real publications as The New Yorker and The Chicago Sun-Times. For the past year, I've been engaged as an independent consultant to various people. I charge exuberant fees and I am highly in demand. My consulting expertise is vast and I don't really want to talk or otherwise cite my consulting experience as it speaks for itself.
It's true that I'm a Harvard MBA. Many people, including people who know me tell me that I'm not a Harvard MBA, but it's true. I went to Harvard in the mid '70s and I'm a Harvard MBA. At Harvard, I learned a lot of useful and important things that I can tell you sometime. Surely, I will use a lot of the things that I've learned in the report that I will write about you and your delicate situation.
For now, I will eat and drink because that's what I do. I'm a real person and I love being real!
This is not what I expected. No, no, no this is not what I expected. You were supposed to help me out. This is not help, no! Nothing in here is good. I cannot take anything good out of this. What were you thinking? And why did you write what you wrote?
Maybe you got things mixed up - maybe that's it! I am not the bad person in this scenario. I am the victim. You should have written this with the assumption that I am the victim and that she is the villain! In fact, you did the opposite. You were entirely and completely wrong!
Let me begin once more. My name is Jimmy. I live with my parents, I like coffee and baseball, I masturbate on occasion, and I go online a lot. Online, what I do, and pay attention now because this is truly and really important, I strike up conversations with fem