When is love appropriate in a relationship?

[keithy_19]

Simply put, when is it ok to tell someone you love them? I'm speaking in terms of boyfriend/girlfriend.

Take for instance my relationship. After making my now ex laugh she said "I love you". There was of course, no real endearment there. I simple made her laugh and she threw the L word into the ring. I responded by saying I love you too. I didn't mean it really. Sure I was fond of her and I enjoyed her company, yet love is a heavy word and I didn't really mean it in respect to what it truly means. I did as the relationship progressed, but not when I first said it.

Fast forward to now. I've been seeing this girl and I am incredibly taken with her. She is everything I have ever wanted in a lover. She's funny, she's smart, she's witty, she's so kind, and she's stunning to the eyes. I have never met a person like her and I'm just so fucking happy with life right now.

We tell each other how much we love spending time with each other. We barrage each other with how much we love certain things about each other. We love eevrything but we never say those three words: I love you.

I am confused about what love really means after my last relationship, and I'm sure she wonders to after hers. Is there a certain time restraint on saying that phrase? Or are we just being so careful not to sound immature and use a term that we feel is thrown around way to much?

[PapaBear]

I didn't bother to read past the first line or two. It's appropriate to tell someone you love them, when you love them.

[commish13]

I agree with PapaBear. You say it when it feels right to say it. If you mean it then you mean it. You'll know when you mean it.

Also, I really dislike the word 'lover'. There's just something about it that makes me cringe.

EDIT: Heh, all of the mod quotes in this thread are about cocks.

[TeeBone]

I didn't bother to read past the first line or two. It's appropriate to tell someone you love them, when you love them.

Enough said------there is no time limit.

[sailor]

when the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie...

[drjoek]

I agree with PapaBear. You say it when it feels right to say it. If you mean it then you mean it. You'll know when you mean it.

Also, I really dislike the word 'lover'. There's just something about it that makes me cringe.

EDIT: Heh, all of the mod quotes in this thread are about cocks.

Finally starting to understand ronfez.net huh:clap:

[Death Metal Moe]

What is love?

Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me.

No more.

[grlNIN]

She is everything I have ever wanted in a lover.

OhmyGod seriously, you're not Lord Byron please just stop it already.

[Bossanova]

I agree with PapaBear. You say it when it feels right to say it. If you mean it then you mean it. You'll know when you mean it.

Also, I really dislike the word 'lover'. There's just something about it that makes me cringe.

EDIT: Heh, all of the mod quotes in this thread are about cocks.

Just figured I would add another cockfilled modquote to the thread.

Its ok to say love when you dont have to think about when you say it. If that made any sense

[Yerdaddy]

Love is a battlefield.

[A.J.]

She is everything I have ever wanted in a lover.

"Mmmmm...yes."

http://img.snlarc.jt.org/arc/char/WiFe-Roger%20Klarvin.jpg

[Death Metal Moe]

Love is a very intense emotion and one that is very deep.

No only concern here is how young you are and the fact that you might be confusing lust or an intense crush for what you feel is Love. I only say that because over time I've found the difference is vast.

But if you love someone you should really just let them know. I mean life is short, if you feel that way and you want to express it, just say it. It feels good to say it and get it back. We end up getting hurt in life anyway so just live life with your heart on your sleeve, throw caution to the wind and enjoy the good times while you have them because they don't stick around forever.

[topless_mike]

you say i love you after she says *gulp*

all jokes aside, you'll just know when.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

Saying I love you is something that just comes to you.

I diddn't plan on saying it, but I just did... and she knew I meant it




:king:

[Yerdaddy]

Seriously, love is like oxygen: you get to much of it - too hiiiigh. Not enough and you're gon-na die.

[JPMNICK]

you still love the ex, so def not yet with the new girl

[Friday]

when you look into someone's eyes and see pure love...
....and don't need to even speak or hear the words for it to be true....
that is the right time.

[topless_mike]

when you look into someone's eyes and see pure love...
....and don't need to even speak or hear the words for it to be true....
that is the right time.

qft

yes, men can be romantic as well.

[Bill From Yorktown]

if you feel it, go with it.
Be happy you have someone.
(the ex is getting remarried this saturday)

[Fezticle98]

on their deathbed...maybe

[MadMatt]

Like PapaBear says, you say "I Love You" when it feels right and you mean it. There is no set time frame regarding emotion.

Plus there are different shades of love. I can say I love Ron & Fez, or I love my friends, but that is different than saying I love my fiance. Like you said about your ex and making her laugh, you can essentially say "I love you" as a throw-away line. But there are times it is more important.

This is going to sound really hack, but only your heart can tell you when it is the right time.

[boobieman]

I say the best time to say you love them...when they give you change of $100. I aint paying no $100 for some street ho...A Nappy Headed one too

SEE YAYA!!:drunk:

[JesterOfSadness]

We need a Keithy Relationships Megathread.

[boobieman]

The best time is to just say it when you feel it....and if it is not appreciated...then fuck one of her friends or younger sister...and say it to them..and if they don't appreciate it....then fuck one of their friends or younger sister...Do you get were I am going here?:devil2:

Best of Luck:devil2:


SEE YAYAYAYAYAYAYA

[keithy_19]

I'm not rushing to say it to her. I'm pretty sure she can tell how much I enjoy my time with her. For now that should suffice.

[boobieman]

GOOD LUCK BRO.....I'm sorry I did that...

SEEYAYAYAYAYAyAYAYAAYAYAYAYAyAyYAya

:thumbup:

[DarkHippie]

Never before three months. If you say it before 3 months of dating its creepy and intimidating. after 3 months, its whenever you feel its right.

[Death Metal Moe]

"Inquiry. When is love appropriate in a relationship, Captain?"

http://www.thebestlinks.com/images/thumb/1/1a/300px-Spiner_as_Data.jpg

[Furtherman]

Slooooooooooooooooow down Keithy, you're gonna get hurt again.

[keithy_19]

Slooooooooooooooooow down Keithy, you're gonna get hurt again.

That is true. That's why I'm not saying it to her, cause I don't really know if what I feel is love or if it's lust (though I really don't thik that's the case) or I just really enjoy her. Time will tell.

[Fezticle98]

That is true. That's why I'm not saying it to her, cause I don't really know if what I feel is love or if it's lust (though I really don't thik that's the case) or I just really enjoy her. Time will tell.

Not saying "I love you" isn't going to make it hurt any less if things go bad. Trust me. If you feel it, say it. Particularly at an appropriately timed moment during ejaculation.

[keithy_19]

Not saying "I love you" isn't going to make it hurt any less if things go bad. Trust me. If you feel it, say it. Particularly at an appropriately timed moment during ejaculation.

That'd be neat.

[lleeder]

Simply put, when is it ok to tell someone you love them? I'm speaking in terms of boyfriend/girlfriend.

Take for instance my relationship. After making my now ex laugh she said "I love you".

It must have been love, but it's over now
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow
It must have been love, but it's over now
From the moment we touched till the time had run out

[sailor]

if you ever go to harlem for a girl. that's a good sign.

[SatCam]

pix?

[drjoek]

No love without the glove:nono:
http://www.shelterserra.com/artwork/trojan.jpg

[Death Metal Moe]

pix?

HA! Nice.

[Tenbatsuzen]

Here's a story to make you feel better Keithy.

First time a girl told me that she loved me, she did it over voicemail after we had gotten into a fight, and she meant it 100%. Forget how terribly awkward it made me feel when I had to call her back.

Don't set it up. let it flow naturally. Don't make it SEEM like a big deal you're telling her this.

[ralphbxny]

Tell her you love her then jam it in the anus! Seriously!!

[ralphbxny]

if you ever go to harlem for a girl. that's a good sign.

I grew up here and did that once...I guess the love wasnt strong enough!

[Ritalin]

Here's an article that uses calculus to determine the best time to say "I love you".

The money equation: dLove/dt=0.

http://www.inklingmagazine.com/articles/the-calculus-of-saying-i-love-you/

[topless_mike]

Here's an article that uses calculus to determine the best time to say "I love you".

The money equation: dLove/dt=0.

http://www.inklingmagazine.com/articles/the-calculus-of-saying-i-love-you/

holy shit thats great

[TonyBagels]

Love is a very intense emotion and one that is very deep.

No only concern here is how young you are and the fact that you might be confusing lust or an intense crush for what you feel is Love. I only say that because over time I've found the difference is vast.

But if you love someone you should really just let them know. I mean life is short, if you feel that way and you want to express it, just say it. It feels good to say it and get it back. We end up getting hurt in life anyway so just live life with your heart on your sleeve, throw caution to the wind and enjoy the good times while you have them because they don't stick around forever.

I believe I heard this in a song, of course it was tough to understand the lyrics with the gargle-with-draino delivery:bye:

I've come to a point in my life, call it a pre-mid-life crisis crisis, where I have questioned a lot of things, one of which is love. All I can add, above the fine advice from Moe, is if you have to question whether saying it is appropriate, then perhaps it isn't. But I don't know if there's a point where it's too early, especially if you truly love the person. It seems that in your first mentioned relationship you know that you said it, when you didn't mean it. In the latter, you're basing when to say it on the earlier relationship. Trust yourself. If you feel the warmth of love, then let that person know. They may also feel the same and not want to freak you out by saying. This verbose rant really comes down to living the Ronnie B (and DMM) way: Say "Fuck it", and tell her you love her, if you truly do.

[Death Metal Moe]

I believe I heard this in a song, of course it was tough to understand the lyrics with the gargle-with-draino delivery:bye:


YOU ROTTEN SO AN SO!!!!

Why I..............

::sees wavy hand::

Damn your cunning Tony Bagels!

[Death Metal Moe]

Like someone else said in this thread: If you say it or don't, it's not gonna hurt any less if it doesn't work out.

Just suck as many good times and feelings as you can out of it and enjoy it.

[patsopinion]

after you have a kid...
even then i don't know if you should let your guard down and let them in
telling someone you love them is like crying in public

[keithy_19]

you still love the ex, so def not yet with the new girl

I actually did a lot of thinking about that. I don't love my ex. At times, I do miss being with her and I miss the fun we had. But I don't miss whos he became. In a way it feels nice to know that the girl I fell in love with didn't leave me, the girl she became did. Both ways I lost her, but knowing that she changed makes the blow a lot easier. I just had tor ealize it myself.

[patsopinion]

I actually did a lot of thinking about that. I don't love my ex. At times, I do miss being with her and I miss the fun we had. But I don't miss whos he became. In a way it feels nice to know that the girl I fell in love with didn't leave me, the girl she became did. Both ways I lost her, but knowing that she changed makes the blow a lot easier. I just had tor ealize it myself.

you sho uldwor kon yo ursp aces
btw good healthy statement
just dont let urself think that she could go back to the person you were into

[Jujubees2]

when the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie...

I said I love you to my wife for the first time after we saw Moonstruck. Of course, I said "Ti Amo".

Now I say, "GET ME THE BIG KNIFE...".

[Jujubees2]

Seriously, love is like oxygen: you get to much of it - too hiiiigh. Not enough and you're gon-na die.

LOVE STINKS
J. Geils Band

You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can't win
And so it goes
Till the day you die
This thing they call love
It's gonna make you cry
I've had the blues
The reds and the pinks
One thing for sure

(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah

[keithy_19]

you sho uldwor kon yo ursp aces
btw good healthy statement
just dont let urself think that she could go back to the person you were into

M yspac esa re jus tfine.

Even if my ex turned back into the person I loved how do I know she won't turn back into the person she became again? I feel she had her chance and she blew it. I moved onto better things. I know what's out there and I know I'll find people better than her, as I already have.

[Melrapuo]

M yspac esa re jus tfine.

Even if my ex turned back into the person I loved how do I know she won't turn back into the person she became again? I feel she had her chance and she blew it. I moved onto better things. I know what's out there and I know I'll find people better than her, as I already have.

Like on top of your new gf? HIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

In all seriousness, I agree with the 3-month rule. Then its whenever it just happens. Beforehand makes you sound like a stalker.

[TonyBagels]

Like on top of your new gf? HIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

In all seriousness, I agree with the 3-month rule. Then its whenever it just happens. Beforehand makes you sound like a stalker.

I would have agreed with the set time limit in the past, but I've come to realize that sometimes you're lucky enough to meet that special person that comes along once in a lifetime. When you meet her/him, you'll know and saying "I Love You" just seems right, regardless of whether you've been with them for a quarter of a year or two weeks. I used to look at the 'move-to-fast' thing and be puzzled (like Dave & Casey, I thought it was too fast) but now, if they're perfect for each other, they may have moved too slow.

[Friday]

I would have agreed with the set time limit in the past, but I've come to realize that sometimes you're lucky enough to meet that special person that comes along once in a lifetime. When you meet her/him, you'll know and saying "I Love You" just seems right, regardless of whether you've been with them for a quarter of a year or two weeks. I used to look at the 'move-to-fast' thing and be puzzled (like Dave & Casey, I thought it was too fast) but now, if they're perfect for each other, they may have moved too slow.

Agreed and Agreed.
I, too, always thought that the time frame was important. I could not believe that anyone could "know" ... really and truly.... until a certain amount of time had passed.

But now... I can honestly say that I see with new eyes. Maybe it's the aging process lol.
It really IS possible to find a real love and just know... from very early on... that you are meant to be with them. And if it's true... then you will see it in their eyes... it's undeniable.

So say it. Take a risk.
You never know... it just might be forever...

[keithy_19]

I got a text message from her today. It asked me if I knew how happy I made her.

Maybe it is premature to use the word love. Maybe she's "the one", even at my young age.

The fact is though, I truley do love all the moments I spend with her. And the reason I love those moments is because they're with her. It seems as good a reason as any to love someone.

[PapaBear]

Text back saying, "I hope you know how much you mean to me."

[keithy_19]

Text back saying, "I hope you know how much you mean to me."

Instead of that I said, "oh girl you so bananas." I think it has the same effect though. :smoke:

[PapaBear]

Instead of that I said, "oh girl you so bananas." I think it has the same effect though. :smoke:
You should of said, "Oh girl, I hope you love my banana."

See what I did there? I brought "love" into the picture. It's what I do.

[keithy_19]

You should of said, "Oh girl, I hope you love my banana."

See what I did there? I brought "love" into the picture. It's what I do.

You are a master of words sir. A saint if you will.

We are getting a lot more suggestive with sexual stuff. It's all very playful which is fun as well as sexy. It's great how sex doesn't really matter to me with her. Like if it happens, great. If it's light years away that's fine too.

[keithy_19]

When is love appropriate in a relationship?

Apparently this past saturday sitting on my bathroom floor drunk off of Jameson.

[JPMNICK]

Apparently this past saturday sitting on my bathroom floor drunk off of Jameson.

did she say anything back

[keithy_19]

did she say anything back

We kinda siad it at the same time actually. It was kind of weird.

I talkmed with her today since we were both drunk. And she's terrified of herself opening up like that. She did mean it though. And she does. As do I. .

[ralphbxny]

congrats budday!

Welcome to the world of mushy love...when you whisper it so your friends dont hear it!

[keithy_19]

congrats budday!

Welcome to the world of mushy love...when you whisper it so your friends dont hear it!

What are these friends you speak of?

We were together last night after she got home from her school and we really do have a lot of fun together. It's just really wonderful to feel good about someone again and not feel like it's forced or pointless.

By the way, TAB soda is the best fucking soda ever. Truth.

[Death Metal Moe]

Good job man. Just fucking say it, who cares? Don't plan for the bad times, just live up the good times. Enjoy everything while it's fresh and vibrant now.

[Kris10]

It happens when your not looking for it, take the chance and see what happens. Time doesn't matter, neither does age. Love happens when it happens. :wub:

[keithy_19]

I've obviously grown wiser with age. I'm still a hopeless romantic but I'm getting better with my judgement of "matter of the heart".

With her, at this place in time it feels right. So, might as well just go with it like Moe said. Enjoy it now.

[JPMNICK]

It happens when your not looking for it, take the chance and see what happens. Time doesn't matter, neither does age. Love happens when it happens. :wub:

i agree with all of this. sometimes it sneaks up on you. but if you stress and worry about saying it, then it is not the time. if it comes out naturally that is the way to go

[Death Metal Moe]

i agree with all of this. sometimes it sneaks up on you. but if you stress and worry about saying it, then it is not the time. if it comes out naturally that is the way to go

That is the saddest crap I've ever heard. So when you give up on finding love it finds you?

If I ever gave up the idea that I would be able to find love and give love back to those I care about I'd just kill myself. Seriously. How can you NOT think about something you want in your life but are lacking? How can it not consume your every last thought?

[JPMNICK]

That is the saddest crap I've ever heard. So when you give up on finding love it finds you?

If I ever gave up the idea that I would be able to find love and give love back to those I care about I'd just kill myself. Seriously. How can you NOT think about something you want in your life but are lacking? How can it not consume your every last thought?

i think when it is lacking, you force yourself to find love somewhere that maybe is not a perfect fit.

[keithy_19]

i think when it is lacking, you force yourself to find love somewhere that maybe is not a perfect fit.

I agree with both of you. I mean, when you want something you will naturally try to attain it. A lot of times you trick yourself into thinking you found it when really all you found was a mirage. It'll fill the void for awhile, but it won't last.

[JPMNICK]

I agree with both of you. I mean, when you want something you will naturally try to attain it. A lot of times you trick yourself into thinking you found it when really all you found was a mirage. It'll fill the void for awhile, but it won't last.

exactly. or you try and make it last more and you just become miserable