You must set the ad_network_ads.txt file to be writable (check file name as well).
I just massacred my balls [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard
Log in

View Full Version : I just massacred my balls

DarkHippie
10-30-2007, 06:04 PM
I normally like to keep my pubes trimmed, but this i decided to go all out and shave the whole thing. I just cut up my balls so bad that my underware is fucking red. the whole brain is covered with wads of toilet paper.

it hurts, it hurts so bad. Actually, it hurts kinda good. Is that normal?
BoondockSaint
10-30-2007, 06:08 PM
Put some aftershave on 'em.
torker
10-30-2007, 06:17 PM
Look how they massacred my balls.
http://www.gonemovies.com/WWW/TopFilms/Godfather/SonnyKogel.jpg
DarkHippie
10-30-2007, 06:18 PM
This is weird, the pain is giving me a hard on. I have to go jerk off now
spoon
10-30-2007, 06:20 PM
:blink::blink::blink::blink::blink::blink::blink:: blink::blink::blink::blink::blink::blink::blink::b link::blink::blink::blink:
Snoogans
10-30-2007, 06:20 PM
How The Fuck Did You Cut Your Balls.
spoon
10-30-2007, 06:21 PM
he's related to michael j fox?
spoon
10-30-2007, 06:22 PM
Lock this thread now!!!!
Snoogans
10-30-2007, 06:22 PM
Hippie's balls

http://factman.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/baboon_ass.jpg
spoon
10-30-2007, 06:23 PM
Hippie's balls

http://factman.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/baboon_ass.jpg

I'm actually fucking laughing so God damn hard right now it hurts.....like DH's balls/monkey ass.
spoon
10-30-2007, 06:24 PM
That monkey has a hard/heart shaped ass. Marc with A V would be all over it!
FUNKMAN
10-30-2007, 06:25 PM
hopefully you weren't shaving a

http://www.thisnext.com/media/230x230/Dry-Sack-Sherry_3BEDCFBD.jpg

and at least used some shaving cream
cupcakelove
10-30-2007, 06:26 PM
Did you try after shave?
torker
10-30-2007, 06:32 PM
Hippie's balls

http://factman.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/baboon_ass.jpg

You ever see Aurora Snow?
http://moblog.co.uk/blogs/2397/moblog_07d1aac118a5f.jpg
IMSlacker
10-30-2007, 06:33 PM
I've actually heard that Tabasco sauce is good for nicked up balls.
midwestjeff
10-30-2007, 06:44 PM
Motherfucker. I thought the thread title said "mascaraed my balls" and was totally expecting to come in here and run a batch to pics of Hippie's fancyboy nutsack. So disappointed. :wallbash:
drjoek
10-30-2007, 06:49 PM
This thread is useless without pictures
FUNKMAN
10-30-2007, 06:51 PM
There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking
Fezticle98
10-30-2007, 07:18 PM
There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking

Seems like you are begging for a new mod quote.
SatCam
10-30-2007, 07:31 PM
probably should use a new razor, some shaving cream, keeping control of the sack and some cold water afterwards

http://content.ytmnd.com/content/7/e/8/7e86e9259308106df9f119e3b21a3e02.jpg
Fallon
10-30-2007, 07:54 PM
I've cut them once. Didn't feel too good. But now I'm a pro at shaving them.

http://www.emofaces.com/en/smilies/p/penis-smile.gif
suggums
10-30-2007, 08:13 PM
put some sea breeze or other astringent on it, gets it nice and burny clean
TheMojoPin
10-30-2007, 08:47 PM
Did you do this drunk? Or did you just hack at them with a straight razor?
Fallon
10-30-2007, 08:49 PM
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0802777368.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
A.J.
10-31-2007, 05:09 AM
Next time use wax.
Marc with a c
10-31-2007, 05:11 AM
my balls are in tip top shape for anybody concerned.
Gvac
10-31-2007, 05:16 AM
my balls are in tip top shape for anybody concerned.

Thank you.
Servo
10-31-2007, 05:36 AM
hopefully you weren't shaving a

http://www.thisnext.com/media/230x230/Dry-Sack-Sherry_3BEDCFBD.jpg

and at least used some shaving cream

You also need to be wary of

http://www.wineanorak.com/blog/uploaded_images/canais-700862.jpg
ralphbxny
10-31-2007, 05:57 AM
:lol::lol::lol::lol:
Kris10
10-31-2007, 06:05 AM
This is the funniest post I've read in awhile. :lol:
Furtherman
10-31-2007, 06:13 AM
http://www.tvsnob.com/images/snlschweddy-thumb.jpg

No one can resist my Schweddy Balls.
RoseBlood
10-31-2007, 11:58 AM
Have your girlfriend shave them next time. She'll have a better grasp and be more thorough.
Dougie Brootal
10-31-2007, 12:02 PM
i shave and manicure once a week and this has happened to me once or twice. you just gotta grin and bear it until it gets better. and remember, light touch. you seem too heavy handed to do it yourself. you should take rosebloods advice and have your chick do it.


unless she secretly hates you!
buzzard
10-31-2007, 12:29 PM
:lol::lol::lol::lol:



the only person that shouldn't laugh at you right now would be Ralphbxny,he's a shitspewer!
ralphbxny
10-31-2007, 12:34 PM
I have embraced my shitty fate. I am at one with it!
DarkHippie
10-31-2007, 12:36 PM
I used an electric razor. the reason is because my hands shake when i use a straight razor and i cut myself. Obviously i didn't want that to happen south of the border. I should've used some sort of preshave lotion.

No, it was not the same shaver i use on my face
Kris10
10-31-2007, 12:40 PM
I used an electric razor. the reason is because my hands shake when i use a straight razor and i cut myself. Obviously i didn't want that to happen south of the border. I should've used some sort of preshave lotion.

No, it was not the same shaver i use on my face

You could have that thing in your siggy eat away your hair.
TheMojoPin
10-31-2007, 01:40 PM
Have your girlfriend shave them next time. She'll have a better grasp and be more thorough.

That is the most terrifying idea possible. And not just because you suggested a girl do it.
moochcassidy
10-31-2007, 01:45 PM
try-

http://www.kaizenbonsai.com/shop/images/tweezers_ht1090.jpg
IamPixie
10-31-2007, 02:40 PM
try-

http://www.kaizenbonsai.com/shop/images/tweezers_ht1090.jpg

If we're talking about ripping hair from the root you might as well take some hot wax to the sack.
RoseBlood
10-31-2007, 02:48 PM
If we're talking about ripping hair from the root you might as well take some hot wax to the sack.

Something tells me DarkHippie would enjoy that. :ohmy:
Kris10
10-31-2007, 03:01 PM
I have waxed a man's back before, never his sack. I'll wax you DH!
suggums
10-31-2007, 03:05 PM
it could have been worse

http://www.cachebeauty.com/wholsale/images/accessories/straight_razor_510.main.jpg
Doctor Z
10-31-2007, 03:19 PM
...And I thought my "Ways To Say 'Taking A Shit'" thread was fucking retarded.
FUNKMAN
10-31-2007, 03:20 PM
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39786000/jpg/_39786115_bottle203.jpg
DarkHippie
10-31-2007, 03:53 PM
I have waxed a man's back before, never his sack. I'll wax you DH!

I would consider getting the sack waxed, but dibs go to my girl first.
Kris10
10-31-2007, 03:59 PM
I would consider getting the sack waxed, but dibs go to my girl first.

LOL I understand! Thats a given!
Team_Ramrod
10-31-2007, 04:21 PM
Did you just stand there and gouge at the sack with the blade, taking swipes on the ball swing back?

There's no reason any man should make his sack bleed when he shaves.

I suggest you PM me next time you consider this 'routine' procedure, I'll run the webcam down to my sack and give you a lesson on the correct method used to de-hair a ballsack.



You know, being that I am a safety professional I see so many of these unecessary incidents. This one is just like many others. A lack of education, experience and on the job training.

When will we open our eyes people?!

If you are unsure... ASK SOMEONE!
FUNKMAN
10-31-2007, 04:25 PM
once in a while i'll nick my balls while trimming with one of these...

http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/150133/2/istockphoto_150133_electric_moustache_trimmer.jpg
Fezticle98
10-31-2007, 06:03 PM
Shit. This thread is going to have me scared shitless next time I have to do some yardwork down there.
Fallon
10-31-2007, 07:09 PM
I use the Gillette Power Fusion Phantom. Unfortunately Katharine Mcphee doesn't shave them for me.

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/73341316.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF193875DCB1DD8387ABB2C8162F314B504EF A40A659CEC4C8CB6
Kris10
10-31-2007, 07:22 PM
I suggest you PM me next time you consider this 'routine' procedure, I'll run the webcam down to my sack and give you a lesson on the correct method used to de-hair a ballsack.


:blink:
DarkHippie
11-01-2007, 02:18 PM
I use the Gillette Power Fusion Phantom. Unfortunately Katharine Mcphee doesn't shave them for me.

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/73341316.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF193875DCB1DD8387ABB2C8162F314B504EF A40A659CEC4C8CB6

do you think its feasible to use an electric? as I said, i have issues with regular razors.
TheMojoPin
11-01-2007, 02:21 PM
do you think its feasible to use an electric?

No. Hippie, you seem like a nice fella, but that's probably the dumbest idea you can come up with when it comes to shaving yer bits.
DarkHippie
11-01-2007, 04:16 PM
No. Hippie, you seem like a nice fella, but that's probably the dumbest idea you can come up with when it comes to shaving yer bits.

i have hand tremors and usually cut myself badly when shaving with a regualr razor.. i figured this was the lesser of two evils.
JPMNICK
11-01-2007, 04:18 PM
i have hand tremors and usually cut myself badly when shaving with a regualr razor.. i figured this was the lesser of two evils.

get them waxed, lasts a few weeks and you get a GURL to touch your naughty bits
TheMojoPin
11-01-2007, 05:00 PM
i have hand tremors and usually cut myself badly when shaving with a regualr razor.. i figured this was the lesser of two evils.

Sorry to hear it, but an electric razor simply is not deisnged for skin as wringly and as mallable as that down on our boys. It's like getting them caught up in a zipper.