Judge Smails
03-13-2008, 09:13 PM
I made two versions. A Cliffs Notes version for those with ADD. And my unexpurgated, fecal flushing opus.
Version 1:
They suck! Shit don't go down!
Version 2:
I'm a simple man who enjoys having some relaxing, alone-time during his bathroom constitutionals. I also like to keep things very neat back there, so I tend to use an inordinate amount of toilet paper. Therefore, I've always been a multiple-flush man, in order to avoid clogging the commode workings.
About two years ago we remodeled two of our bathrooms and that's when all of my problems started. As required by law, we only had low-flow toilets to choose from as replacements. My initial skepticism was borne out once they were put to use. It now required even more flushes. This was much to my consternation as I was now spending even more time just sitting there between flushes waiting for the tank to fill up for the next go-around.
Well, to make a long and sordid tale even longer, it turns out that the new model American Standards that we installed had some new kind of flapper mechanism unlike any I'd ever seen. The chain would constantly come off of the handle and the flapper would sometimes get stuck in the open position, causing me to always be fiddling around in the tank. Recently it finally broke for good and I had to go back to the store we got the toilets from, as no hardware store I went to had ever seen the type of flapper mechanism that I needed.
The gentleman at the store told me that it was such a bad design that the company recalled them and replaced it with a new kind which he supplied to me gratis. While the sturdiness of the new mechanism is much better it allows even less water to pass through. Now it only stays open long enough to empty half of the tank.
So, I've gone from 5 gallons per flush with my original toilet, to 3 gallons and now to about 1.5 gallons per flush! I don't think I'm using any less water because I am a persistent and anal (pardon the pun) individual who will just flush more to compensate for the low flow. I'm just spending way too much time in the bathroom. For example, I had a hardy dinner earlier and just finished "logging out". I kept track of the number of flushes - 12! That's just crazy!
Version 1:
They suck! Shit don't go down!
Version 2:
I'm a simple man who enjoys having some relaxing, alone-time during his bathroom constitutionals. I also like to keep things very neat back there, so I tend to use an inordinate amount of toilet paper. Therefore, I've always been a multiple-flush man, in order to avoid clogging the commode workings.
About two years ago we remodeled two of our bathrooms and that's when all of my problems started. As required by law, we only had low-flow toilets to choose from as replacements. My initial skepticism was borne out once they were put to use. It now required even more flushes. This was much to my consternation as I was now spending even more time just sitting there between flushes waiting for the tank to fill up for the next go-around.
Well, to make a long and sordid tale even longer, it turns out that the new model American Standards that we installed had some new kind of flapper mechanism unlike any I'd ever seen. The chain would constantly come off of the handle and the flapper would sometimes get stuck in the open position, causing me to always be fiddling around in the tank. Recently it finally broke for good and I had to go back to the store we got the toilets from, as no hardware store I went to had ever seen the type of flapper mechanism that I needed.
The gentleman at the store told me that it was such a bad design that the company recalled them and replaced it with a new kind which he supplied to me gratis. While the sturdiness of the new mechanism is much better it allows even less water to pass through. Now it only stays open long enough to empty half of the tank.
So, I've gone from 5 gallons per flush with my original toilet, to 3 gallons and now to about 1.5 gallons per flush! I don't think I'm using any less water because I am a persistent and anal (pardon the pun) individual who will just flush more to compensate for the low flow. I'm just spending way too much time in the bathroom. For example, I had a hardy dinner earlier and just finished "logging out". I kept track of the number of flushes - 12! That's just crazy!