If God Gave You Any Miracle Device....

[Rockvillejoe]

If god gave you a device, any device, that would give you the power to mechanically do anything, what would your device do?

I guess many would say pointing it at the ATM and making it dispense cash endlessly, but you would still be prone to arrest.

Laws would still apply.

For me, it's a no-brainer. A device that would turn red lights green with a press of a button. What say you? (Actually I just heard Douche O'Reilly say, "What say you?", so from here and now, it shall be something different.

[topless_mike]

go-go-gadget cock.

[Chigworthy]

Orgasmotron.

[topless_mike]

Orgasmotron.

http://www.rockline.info/upload/image/gallery/lemmy_865_225.jpg

[Chigworthy]

or
http://members.aol.com/lafimprov/allensleeper.jpg

[Ritalin]

XRay specs, of course.

[jonyrotn]

What say me.. I say...Wow,heavy fucking question brother...I need some time to think..Stop harrassing and haranging me and others for answers so quickly..Hold your horses and let me alone for a short while, I'll get back to you when I have the answers you seek...

[Whiskeyportal]

some sort of ray gun that turned jackasses into weed. super fucking dank weed.

[Rockvillejoe]

or
http://members.aol.com/lafimprov/allensleeper.jpg

great call. exactly what i thought of. i also loved the comment he made in that movie that they eventually discovered that junk food was good for you. the woodman rules.

[Rockvillejoe]

What say me.. I say...Wow,heavy fucking question brother...I need some time to think..Stop harrassing and haranging me and others for answers so quickly..Hold your horses and let me alone for a short while, I'll get back to you when I have the answers you seek...

how about a machine that calms you the fuck down brother! lol, jk, take your time, j-rot, this isn't a test in class. we all await patiently. breath properly bated.

[SatCam]

Something to cure my chronic depression

[led37zep]

It would create dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you.

[donnie_darko]

god?

[Rockvillejoe]

god?

of course we in this forum all know "GOD" is another name for the iconoclastic "Mr B".
we are not worthy.......

[Fallon]

It would create dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you.

I'd rather have the robotic Richard Simmons.

http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/3837/roboticrichardsimmonsie8.jpg

[Cleophus James]

a friend (WEEP WEEP WEEEP)

[Bellyfullasnot]

I would like to speak to my dad for @ least another hour. He died 3 years before my wife and I had kids. It'll be 10 years without him this month.

[SyndicateParish]

Orgasmo shooting X-ray specs that will also re-start a heart just in case. But I gotta admit Belly's cemetery bullhorn idea seems cool too.

[Bellyfullasnot]

Orgasmo shooting X-ray specs that will also re-start a heart just in case. But I gotta admit Belly's cemetery bullhorn idea seems cool too.
I was thinking the device would be a few steps better than a bullhorn. Maybe a cell phone or CB radio. You did make me laugh though.

[RhinoinMN]

a friend (WEEP WEEP WEEEP)

You've got a friend in me.
http://www.onstage.nl/onstage/gfx/2004/concert_impressies/randy_newman_2.jpg








I would love to have and instant babysitter. Whenever something comes up...bam she's there.

[led37zep]

I would love to have and instant babysitter. Whenever something comes up...bam she's there.

you're welcome

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/12/06/generickidstv_wideweb__470x322,0.jpg

[RhinoinMN]

you're welcome

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/12/06/generickidstv_wideweb__470x322,0.jpg

At what point did I say that the babysitter would be for the kids?

[Rockvillejoe]

I would like to speak to my dad for @ least another hour. He died 3 years before my wife and I had kids. It'll be 10 years without him this month.

that is very touching. if i could be so curious, more than i should be in this situation, but what would you say to him? obviously that you loved him and miss him, but how would you spend the remaining 60 minutes? i am truly interested. if you don't want to say, that's cool too.

[bobrobot]

bionic prehensile tail...

http://www.wildernessclassroom.com/www/schoolhouse/rainforest_library/animal_images/spider_monkey6.jpg

[Bellyfullasnot]

that is very touching. if i could be so curious, more than i should be in this situation, but what would you say to him? obviously that you loved him and miss him, but how would you spend the remaining 60 minutes? i am truly interested. if you don't want to say, that's cool too.

Thanks for asking. The dialoge that I imagine changes everyday. I would be interested in his observations, advice, and critigue of me as a parent. I always told him that I loved him, so I'm @ peace with that aspect. It's weird having kids that do not have any grandparents or older relatives. For the 60 minutes, I would be happy with him meeting my kids and just offering any viewpoints about life as a parent. The stories about him that I share with my kids do a pretty good job, but something is still missing. If I stop, he's Santa, the Bunny or the tooth fairy. My father would be a great grandfather.

I don't think you ever come close to understanding your father until you have kids of your own. This would probaly be a better post around Father's day, but This is the time of the year I get melancholy about him. Thanks again.

[topless_mike]

I don't think you ever come close to understanding your father until you have kids of your own. This would probaly be a better post around Father's day, but This is the time of the year I get melancholy about him. Thanks again.

as a father, i understand completely what you are speaking of.

[bobrobot]

some sort of ray gun that turned jackasses into weed. super fucking dank weed.

But that would be cannibalism... Cannabis Cannibalism actually!!!

http://www.419gottaminute.com/images/graphics/skull.jpg

[Rockvillejoe]

Thanks for asking. The dialoge that I imagine changes everyday. I would be interested in his observations, advice, and critigue of me as a parent. I always told him that I loved him, so I'm @ peace with that aspect. It's weird having kids that do not have any grandparents or older relatives. For the 60 minutes, I would be happy with him meeting my kids and just offering any viewpoints about life as a parent. The stories about him that I share with my kids do a pretty good job, but something is still missing. If I stop, he's Santa, the Bunny or the tooth fairy. My father would be a great grandfather.

I don't think you ever come close to understanding your father until you have kids of your own. This would probaly be a better post around Father's day, but This is the time of the year I get melancholy about him. Thanks again.

That was very nice. Thanks. You really said it all.

I am lucky in that my old man is still kicking at 96, and I have tried to cover everything with him because when you are 96, you are on obvious borrowed time.

He has given me great insight from his perspective. Sage advice that I embrace with great interest. I just wish he was as helpful 40 years ago when it could have been a lot more helpful, but better late then ever. Although he is still complete with all his faculties, including his walking 2 miles a day, he insists that if he died tomorrow, he would welcome it gladly. Not because of any depression or sadness, he just feels like his time is up. That somehow makes me feel a lot better when the time actually arrives.

You hit the nail on the head regarding the grandchildren. In my case there is over a 75 year gap in age, yet he still enjoys their company and is very interested in their lives. They sadly take his existence for granted. My fault in part I guess.

Anyway, I appreciate the insight. I am now better prepared for the inevitable.

[MobCounty]

Ohh, I want a device that would automatically send any weaponized projectile back to it's sender.

[scottinnj]

Something that I could point to any vehicle, in any condition, and zap! It's back in the original condition, fresh off the showroom floor.

I see a lot of people stranded on the road, and that would be cool. It would also never run out of gas ever again.

[MobCounty]

Something that I could point to any vehicle, in any condition, and zap! It's back in the original condition, fresh off the showroom floor.

I see a lot of people stranded on the road, and that would be cool. It would also never run out of gas ever again.

Ohh, would it do ship wrecks too?

[scottinnj]

Ohh, would it do ship wrecks too?

Sure why not? Clone it and give one to SeaTow.