I'm TOO empathetic

[WhistlePig]

My husband made me think about this when he said "you think about how other people are feeling too much" when I was wondering how fired coach Glen Hanlon was feeling about the Caps getting into the playoffs and their new coach getting tons of praise.
I do worry too much to the point of not enjoying an evening if I think someone else is uncomfortable. A good example of this was a night out in Chicago about 8 years ago with some relatives including my dad (who was in his early 70s at the time) and we all piled into a small blues bar to hear Magic Slim play. A few of us got stools--dad didn't. I offered him mine but he declined and I spent the rest of the night worrying if he was uncomfortable standing so long.
I really hate being this way. I like being empathetic but not this much!! This is the main reason I'm a vegetarian because I feel bad for the animals.
Is anyone else overly empathetic? Any advice how I can tone it down or is it just my set personality and there's nothing I can do?

[Marc with a c]

believe it or not i was once sort of like that, then i got a job tending bar while in college and realized that i hated everybody that walked in the door.

hope that helps

[LaBoob]

One thing you can do is listen when someone says they're okay. You gave your dad the option of sitting down, he said he didn't need to, so you should've let him know that the offer still stood if he felt like sitting later in the evening, and enjoyed the show.

It's great that you're an empathetic person. Don't feel bad about it, just make sure it doesn't get in the way of your own enjoyment too often.

Incidentally, I completely understand why you would feel bad for the Coach... I would be pretty upset if I were him, but I'm not going to dwell on it... and it doesn't sound like you would either. If you spent the entire day in tears and couldn't get shit done because you're worrying about something like this... then you might have a problem.

[WhistlePig]

It does get in the way of my enjoyment way too often so it is a problem. I didn't think about coach Hanlon to the point of tears but I do think of animals to the point where it becomes obsessive thinking about their pain and suffering and I'm tortured.
At least I don't worry about everyone. I hate plenty of people. I'm mostly over-empathetic toward family and innocents like children and animals. And service workers.

Thanks for the advice Marc with a c and the kind words LaBoob!

[A.J.]

believe it or not i was once sort of like that, then i got a job tending bar while in college and realized that i hated everybody that walked in the door.

hope that helps

I had the same revelation. I think Randall said it best in "Clerks": "This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers."