solid jackson
05-26-2008, 04:28 PM
Anybody else think he would be a great guest?
I saw this article and couldnt help but wonder if he was a Ron and Fez fan.
Are You Stronger Than a Five-Year-Old?
Buzz up!
Of course there's something wrong with a Website that calculates how many kids you could beat up. It's just not quite what you think.
By Chuck Klosterman
[more from this author]
Print Print RSS Share Print Print Print Print
StumbleUpon Del.icio.us
Share
angry kindergartner ready for fisticuffs
iStockphoto
As a longtime critic of both children and antigladiator legislation, you'd think I'd love a Website that calculates how many five-year-old kids I could theoretically defeat in a street brawl. Sadly, this is not the case. Despite its promising concept, I see a lot of flaws in HowManyFiveYearOldsCouldYouTakeinaFight.com. I question its scientific validity.
After punching my personal data (and my self-styled fighting philosophies) into the site's prompts, I was informed that I could maul about seventeen kindergartners, assuming the skirmish took place in an enclosed basketball court and we all wore groin cups. Now, granted, this total does seem roughly accurate. However, I fear this Website only considers the "average" five-year-old. What if these youths are like the kids from season four of The Wire? They'd kill me instantly. What if these five-year-olds are like all those fat, PlayStation-obsessed brats I see on youth soccer fields across America? I'm sure I could take eighty of those insecure motherfuckers. Unless I see some real data showing what kind of five-year-olds I would be theoretically facing, I cannot support the soft methodology of this Website. I'm sorry, HowManyFiveYearOldsCouldYouTakeinaFight.com. Try again.
I saw this article and couldnt help but wonder if he was a Ron and Fez fan.
Are You Stronger Than a Five-Year-Old?
Buzz up!
Of course there's something wrong with a Website that calculates how many kids you could beat up. It's just not quite what you think.
By Chuck Klosterman
[more from this author]
Print Print RSS Share Print Print Print Print
StumbleUpon Del.icio.us
Share
angry kindergartner ready for fisticuffs
iStockphoto
As a longtime critic of both children and antigladiator legislation, you'd think I'd love a Website that calculates how many five-year-old kids I could theoretically defeat in a street brawl. Sadly, this is not the case. Despite its promising concept, I see a lot of flaws in HowManyFiveYearOldsCouldYouTakeinaFight.com. I question its scientific validity.
After punching my personal data (and my self-styled fighting philosophies) into the site's prompts, I was informed that I could maul about seventeen kindergartners, assuming the skirmish took place in an enclosed basketball court and we all wore groin cups. Now, granted, this total does seem roughly accurate. However, I fear this Website only considers the "average" five-year-old. What if these youths are like the kids from season four of The Wire? They'd kill me instantly. What if these five-year-olds are like all those fat, PlayStation-obsessed brats I see on youth soccer fields across America? I'm sure I could take eighty of those insecure motherfuckers. Unless I see some real data showing what kind of five-year-olds I would be theoretically facing, I cannot support the soft methodology of this Website. I'm sorry, HowManyFiveYearOldsCouldYouTakeinaFight.com. Try again.